i'm literally gonna hire someone to bonk me in the head and tell me "he doesn't want you, stupid bitch"
like
some stuff happens and ALL i want is to tell him and him to hold me and give me kisses. i can't stop thinking about him
one day i'll stop missing your eyes and your laugh. not tonight.
the worst part of it was that i was okay with being lonely. i was okay with having no way out of my head. he gave me what i needed the most and then just ripped it away. he let me hope and dream about a safe, warm life and then took away my sun.
you ruined green eyes, car rides, chai lattes and tiramisu for me. there's not an inch of this city that doesn't remind me of you, there's not a fucking hour i don't choke up with your taste in my mouth.
i can't stop myself from crying whenever i think of you. i tried talking to other people, i tried distracting myself with work and every single hobby out there, but whenever i put my head on my pillow all i can think about is your beautiful face. you're cruel, so fucking cruel.
based on my skintone and general coloring, would that look cute on me? i already have velvet teddy and sweet deal(closest possible shades i have in my collection) i would also really appreciate if someone could swatch it for me 😌😌
why do we write dissertations on why avoidants avoid things? why do we think and think and talk and talk about it constantly? why do we feel like there must be a way to get them to give a shit and work overtime over finding it?
they just wanted to leave and they did. end of the story. from now on i'm a firm believer of "if he wanted to he would"
i'm doing everything i can to distract myself but i cant stop thinking about him. i even tried bumble again but i couldn't talk to anyone for more than a day then ended up deleting the app in 4 days. i keep stalking his instagram(all i can see is the number of his followers and the accounts he followed since its private) and when he is one mutual down i start writing scenarios in my head. i know i'm crazy, i know it's not worth it, i know he doesn't want me back. i work like a dog and come home literally spent but he's still all i think about.