r/GirlDinnerDiaries

I've messed up my whole life, due to my teeth. When I was growing up, I neglected personal hygiene due to depression and child abuse. I wouldn't brush, wouldn't bath, you get the picture. In my teens I got braces, but when my parents got divorced, one stopped paying for the procedure and the other just didn't want to work. The lack of dental help coupled with my avoidance of dental hygiene made my teeth worse. This went on all the way into my adulthood, when I moved out and got into a better emotional headspace. I even went to a dentist and got my braces taken out myself, but by that time it was too late; the damage had already been done.

My teeth are horrendous. I'm missing some, and 90% of the others have huge holes in them. They are yellow and misshapen. As I brush them, I can feel pieces crumble away in my mouth. I look like a monster.

I'm 28 and I've never dated, never kissed anyone. The only guys who ever approached me were creepy old men and a friend's ex-boyfriend who had just got outed for cheating. As I get older, the less and less it seem likely that I will find someone who loves me. Who could, when their significant other has teeth like a zombie?

My mouth needs a full makeover, which is not cheap. Few of my teeth were pulled due to the pain they were causing me, only for new ones to start hurting. I've gone through bouts of working hard on getting them fixed and other times I get depressed, give up, and don't even try cleaning them. I own teeth caps that cover everything and make my teeth look normal, but it still makes me feel uneasy, like I'm masking the real me, if that makes any sense. Like, if I'm dating, I would have to let the guy know eventually that my teeth are just a front, and that my actual teeth look like a decaying fence. I cry myself to sleep at night when I think about how ugly I am. It feels like something that can never be fixed, and that I'll remain so painfully lonely forever...

Sorry in advance if this feels all over the place, I just needed to vent somewhere 💔

Meal is Ful Medames (chickpeas, tomato, onion and parsley dish)

girl dinner tonight is ribeye, salad and pomegranate juice!

It was the most uncomfortable dinner of my life so far.....

i've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over a year and this weekend was my first proper dinner with his family. i was nervous but also excited because he talks about them all the time and i really wanted them to like me. his dad and sister were actually really sweet, but his mom was... a lot.

it started with little comments. she asked why i was wearing "so much makeup" even though i really wasn't, then commented that i barely ate anything after literally watching me finish most of my plate. she asked what i do for work and when i told her she immediately started questioning whether that's actually a stable career. at one point i said something about wanting to travel next year and she went "well, some people eventually have to grow up and think about real life."

i kept trying to laugh things off because i didn't want our first meeting to become a whole thing, but eventually she started talking to me like i was a child. i disagreed with her about something completely harmless and she actually raised her voice and said "don't interrupt me when i'm speaking." the whole table went quiet.

and my boyfriend just sat there. THATS IT

that was honestly the part that hurt the most. i wasn't expecting him to yell at his mom or start some huge fight, but even a simple "mom, that's enough" would have meant so much. instead he looked uncomfortable, stared at his food and said nothing. later in the car i told him i felt humiliated and he said "that's just how she is, don't take it personally."

i keep thinking about that sentence because if "that's just how she is" means i'm expected to sit there and take it every time we see his family, i really don't know if i can do that.

am i overreacting because it was only one dinner, or is him staying completely silent while his mom talked to me like that actually a red flag???

omelette w shrimps, avocado toast and a little salad with cherry tomatoes, antystress dish

I have a little sister who is genuinely the sweetest kid ever, but lately i've noticed she's gotten really self conscious about her body. she's at that age where everything already feels like the end of the world, and our mom has this awful habit of disguising criticism as "help." comments about portions, clothes being "more flattering," asking if she really needs dessert, stuff like that. i grew up hearing the same things and it took me YEARS to stop feeling guilty every time i ate something like "bad"...

at dinner my sister reached for another piece of bread and my mom literally went "are you sure? you've been filling out lately." my sister immediately put it back and went quiet. i saw her face change and something in me just snapped. i told my mom to stop commenting on her body and that if she couldn't sit through one meal without making a teenage girl feel guilty for eating, then maybe she was the one with the problem

my mom got offended and said she was "just looking out for her health." i said humiliating her in front of everyone IS NOT healthcare. then my dad told me to stop causing a scene, so i got up, told my sister to grab her coat and took her out for dessert, i mean it

she cried on the way and in my car and admitted she's been skipping lunch at school sometimes because she thinks she's getting fat. SKIPPING LUNCH you know how far is it now?

that absolutely broke me. I had no idea(

now my parents are saying i embarrassed my mom, UNDERMINED her parenting and made the whole situation dramatic. maybe i did make it dramatic but i genuinely don't care. i know what it feels like to spend your teenage years believing food has to be earned and i refuse to sit there quietly while the exact same thing happens to my sister.

apparently i'm the main family problem now. at least my sister ate the damn dessert! so its fine anyway for the moment

My lunch on my toddler's plate cause I had no other ones.

Which ironically gets to the issue. I have a nurse following up with me postpartum, comes to my place, great.

She asks me lots of questions, checks my mental health, fantastic.

Then she points to the messy apartment and says that's a sign of PPD. I tell her it's messy cause we are struggling to find time to clean since this is our second baby and we have no help, she still pushes it, claims if I'm not cleaning up then I must be depressed.

I try to explain no, I'm tired from lack of sleep cause my kids need me 24/7 right now? And yes my husband is helping, but we are stretched thin, it's one adult per kid right now, he's looking after our toddler (who is going through sleep regression and hates being awake cause of teething) and I'm handling our newborn, and her feeds, which are like every 2 hours if not more.

I'm sorry being 1 month post partum means I have a messy apartment??

So I got annoyed, started cleaning more, but it's hard to keep on top of. I'm literally starting at 5am to clean cause that's usually when both babies are asleep, my husband handles trash and cooking, I clean the kitchen and living room, playroom,

It doesn't matter, my toddler is a tornado so the moment she wakes up there's a huge mess made, husband cooked so kitchen is a bit messy in a way you have to wait to clean it (dirty pans, dirty stove top, etc, things that need to cool down before cleaning). Baby needs to be fed, toddler makes a mess of her playroom, nurse shows up,

Immediately again, "it's still dirty, I'm pushing for you to see a psychiatrist but she doesn't speak your language so I'll come to the appointments and translate for you, I've told her you have PPD."

I nearly snapped at her but politely brought up how most of the mess right now is cause of my husband, so why am I getting the blame for it??

She backed off a bit and said she'd 'give him a talking to', never did.

I get wanting to be on-top of mental health for postpartum folks, I do, but this felt so sexist and targetted. She immediately assumed I'm the one who is supposed to clean everything, like wtf? Up until recently it was my husband's chore to clean everything, and also we are struggling to keep up with 2 kids I'm sorry, we have no help, we are on our own, I'm not depressed I'm just poor and can't afford a cleaner my gosh.

buckwheat, little chicken cutlets and sauerkraut

trying to understand how i somehow became the bad person for wanting to know who has keys to my own home 😭

i'm 22 and i've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. we don't officially live together, but he stays at my apartment a lot, has some clothes here and i gave him a spare key months ago because it made sense. the apartment is mine and i live here alone.

yesterday i came home from work, opened my door and heard someone in my bedroom. genuinely scared the shit out of me for a second. then his younger sister walked out holding a charger and casually said she was just grabbing something my boyfriend left for her.

i asked how she got inside.

she pulled out a key. xo

apparently my boyfriend had a copy made for her a few weeks ago because she lives nearby and he thought it would be "convenient." he never asked me. never even mentioned it. she has apparently already been inside twice when nobody was home!!!

i called him immediately and he acted like i was making this into something huge. he kept saying "it's just my sister" and that obviously she isn't going to steal from me. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. i don't care if it's his sister, the pope or literally an angel. i should know who can unlock my front door...

what really got me was when he said giving him a key should mean i trust his judgment too. no?? i trusted HIM with a key. i didn't give him permission to start distributing access to my apartment.

I asked for his key back for now and he got genuinely offended. he says i'm punishing him over something harmless and making his sister feel unwelcome.

meanwhile i can't stop thinking about the fact that i came home yesterday and another person was just... inside my bedroom.

maybe i'm being dramatic but home is the one place where i need to know exactly who can walk through that door. ITS MY SPACEEEE

​

Girl Dinner: 2 rice cakes, some frozen blueberries and strawberries, and a spread made from cottage cheese, avocado, smoked turkey and some hot sauce.

I'm 25f and I've struggled a lot with my mental health and I've used a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms ever since I was 14. Not going to go into details about that but you can probably guess. I'm doing so much better. I'm like 6 months clean and I have a lot of healthier ways of coping now. My scars are still one of my biggest insecurities. Luckily for me they're in places that aren't very noticeable.

Yesterday I was doing pull ups at the gym and my shirt rolled up a bit. I have scars on my stomach and I wasn't really thinking about that at the time. I noticed that this guy was staring at me. I thought that he wanted to use the pull up bar so I asked him if he wanted to work in. Then he gave me this creepy ass smile and he aske me if I got mutilated by a wild animal. I ignored him of course and I tried to leave. He then stepped in front of me and asked me if was a kink thing. I didn't respond to him. I just turned around and walked away from him. I wish I had a comeback but in the moment I didn't know what to say.

Its so stupid. I've been trying to ignore it but I can't. I hate how much these stupid comments from a strange is affecting me. I hate that it's affecting me and that it makes me feel like shit. I should be able to ignore it and move on but I can't. Like why is it bothering me so much?? Also, I hate that I didn't stand up for myself but in the moment I really didn't know what to say.

Champagne and meatballs. I regret that I unintentionally hurt my boyfriend of 8 months due to my jealous trauma reaction which i’m in therapy for. I didn’t speak to him for 2 days. During that time he was texting me that he loved me and wanted to talk. I was dismissive. After 2 days when we spoke again we didn’t resolve it but he seemed like he was past it. It took me 2 weeks to realize I was wrong to not speak for 2 days. During that time he slowly detached with less communication. He stopped talking to me, saying he needed distance. The next week he ended it and said he realized he has no romantic feelings. I want to fight for the relationship and I’m struggling with how. I’m working on a response to his break up. He normally has anxious attachment tendencies.

I've been displaced and moving allot from one unstable living situation for a while, and I just got transferred from a women's shelter in the Bronx to a transfem center. So far I made friends with like four other autistic trans girls. I have my own room with air conditioning, my own bathroom and a shower!

today is homemade Thai glass noodles with chicken and veggies, but life changing decisions kills your appetite tbh ;))

i've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. we got together when we were teenagers, so in a lot of ways i don't really know adulthood without him in it.

he's my best friend. our families know each other, we have our routines, our places, stupid little traditions, plans we've talked about for years. there has never been some huge betrayal or terrible relationship issue that made me question us.

and somehow that makes this worse.

i got accepted into a program abroad that i've wanted for years.

it's four years.

this isn't some random opportunity i applied to because i was bored. i've been working toward this for a long time and when i got the acceptance email i cried because i genuinely didn't think i'd get in.

then about five minutes later i realized what it probably means for my relationship.

my boyfriend isn't coming with me.

and i don't blame him!

he has a good job here, his family is here, his friends are here, and he's finally built a life that he loves. asking him to throw all of that away and follow me to another country for my dream feels incredibly unfair.

but giving this up feels unfair to me too!!(

we've talked about long distance and neither of us is pretending to be excited about it. four years isn't six months. flights are expensive. schedules get busy. people change. i know some couples make it work, but deep down i don't know if i believe we would(

the conversation that completely broke me was when he said:

"i don't want you to stay here for me and hate me in five years."

and i said:

"i don't want to leave and spend the next five years wondering if i traded the person i love for a degree."

there was nothing else to say after that.

i think that's the part nobody prepares you for.

sometimes love doesn't end because someone stopped loving you.

sometimes life just asks two people to choose different door((((

if i stay, i'm terrified i'll resent him every time i think about the life i could've had.

if i go, i'm terrified i'll get everything i wanted and realize the person i wanted to share it with is gone.

i have to give them my final answer soon.

and for the first time in five years, when i picture my future, i genuinely don't know if he's in it.

would you risk a relationship like this for a dream you've wanted for years, or would you choose the life you've already built with someone you love?

Im so cooked(

I’ve posted a few times here before about struggling with my sexuality and shit but yeah. I’m bi with a heavy preference to women but I still feel like I HAVE to sleep with men every so often just to prove that I’m still worthy of love (grew up homophobic Christian). Also sorry this is so long, I’m just irked. My dinner was ground beef with rice and I put broccoli in it that was still cold despite being steamed in the microwave for damn near 10 minutes.

So I met this guy on Tinder and we were gonna hook up. I should’ve known it was gonna be bad when we were talking before we even decided to meet up, because he said he doesn’t eat pussy. And his whole attitude around sex was very “alpha male” coded but there aren’t many hot guys in my area or any gay women and I was desperate. I show up to his house, and his first offense is that there is zero and I mean ZERO furniture in his living room. It’s just a weightlifting bench.

He does some bare minimum small talk, and doesn’t even offer me a glass of water. I grew up with southern-level hospitality and I won’t let someone be in my house for more than 2 minutes before offering a drink. Water, soda, juice, whatever. I’m not offered shit. But wtv, perhaps he grew up without manners.

His second offense is that his bed is in the middle of the room, not touching any walls. There is a bed frame however, so I’m happy about that. And his sheets are those fuckass navy blue sheets that are like a t shirt texture?? And he turns on White Chicks. Why are you fucking me to White Chicks. He starts wordlessly making out with me, but however he is missing my mouth and is instead making out with my nose. I try to kinda guide him down a lil bit, but nope, just mouth and tongue in my nose. Cute. Love that.

He wordlessly strips and like gestures for me to do the same. Mind you, when making out with me, I didn’t get a SOUND from him. Not even a groan, not a whisper of “you’re so fucking hot.” At this point I’m questioning why I’m still here but I’m having a sunken-cost fallacy moment so like fuck it we ball and I just gotta see it through. He looks at me and goes “you gon suck it?” And at this point I’m starting to get genuinely irritated but there’s something in me that doesn’t let me bail on shit until I’m genuinely miserable. And he’s ginormo so I already know giving head is going to be a challenge but I do my best. Third offense and I already wanna bail.

Anyways I don’t get a LICK of foreplay from this man and it hurt. A lot. Couldn’t even get it in, and at some point I ask him to pause and at least like finger me a lil, and I get 30 seconds of the most mid fingering ever. It felt like I was getting a fucking pelvic exam from a suicidal gynecologist who has been in the profession for decades. He tries again to fuck me and I am in so much pain and he is AGAIN DEAD SILENT. I’m like audibly saying “ow” and hissing and giving every possible signal short of screaming “YEOUCH!!!”

He finally gets off me to reposition and I had to look him in the eye and say “I actually hate this, I’m going home.” And I pulled on my clothes and shoved my bra and panties in my bag, and went home.

This was like 2 weeks ago and I was sore for a week and it hurt to pee for 3 days. And mind you, he made me bleed.

TL;DR: I had horrendous sex and bailed after like 10 minutes. If you decide you hate a hookup before even hooking up, just go home. Don’t force yourself to go through with it.

Pic: preparing arayes

I(36F) have trigeminal neuralgia and have gotten multiple brain surgeries for it. I fly out of state for the surgeries, and the surgeon insists on me bringing a family member. My mom is the only person available because I'm divorced, my sister is heavily pregnant and my mom separated my sister and I from all our extended family.

During the trip, she continuously told me that I need to lower my standards and find a partner so that they can take me to my surgery. She said it's pathetic that I haven't found a partner, that I don't have kids, and that Im almost 40 and still partying with my friends. She told me that I used to have more power than my sister, but now my sister has more power than me because she's married and pregnant. BTW she was saying this in the doctor's office waiting room with everyone around us.

She is also...very MAGA, Karen like and racist. She kept criticizing our Uber drivers in a passive aggressive way. In the doctors office waiting room she said "remember you told me how all these Mexicans get pregnant early at 15, 16"... BTW I never said that and people were staring at us.

My sister and I diagnosed her with borderline personality disorder and high narcissism, to say the least.

Also, I have a PhD in space science, my own home, a great career, and wonderful community of friends. I love the life I have. Yes, I'd love a loving partner, and my mom knows I tried dating until it just felt too much for me. And I did try to have a baby via IVF, which failed. I had to pay $20K out of pocket, and my mom told me of course it didn't work because I didn't do it the natural way and it was a huge waste of money. But I really needed to do the IVF to bring me peace.

Anyways, this is just a rant. I've dealt with her abuse all my life, and it was WAY worse when I was younger under her control.

If anyone has similar stories, or any words of comfort, they are most welcomed here.

I’m in a self-help group here on Reddit for a mental health disorder. I had several people which whom I talked to and the conversations were always respectful and good (men and women).
A week ago I got a message from a guy that’s in the same group. He immediately said the right things, held the room for me, supported me with words and shared his stories with the same condition, so it was overall a good talk. I was at a low point a week ago and I needed someone to talk to badly so I didn’t have my armor up and wasn’t cautious enough to see the red flags right away. Over the next days he would send a lot of supportive messages, telling me I can always text him when anything is going on or if I need someone to talk to. I did end up texting him and we talked for 3 days. He came across as a good, genuine sweetheart that just wanted to help ( HA HA HA). Well… on the 4th day he tried to get flirty. He did it very manipulative and subtle so I didn’t see it right away. Ultimately he asked for nudes and that’s when I understood what was happening. I was shocked, confused, angry and sad. Here I was, needing support and opening up and he is using it to exploit me. I didn’t send any and ended up blocking him but this experience made me realize I need to keep my armor up and be cautious ALL THE TIME, even when I need somebody to talk to because I’m struggling. It’s a hard truth that people try to exploit other people that already struggle a lot and I know not every man is like this, but the damage from the ones that are like this is absolutely heartbreaking. Have been crying because of this and I feel it’s my own fault for trusting and not seeing the red flags right away…

stay safe out there 🫶🏻

Btw food is „Spätzle“ (noodles) with chicken, mushroom-cream-sauce and veggies. It’s german and one of my favorites

EDIT: thank you each and everyone for your kind and supportive words, it means the world 🥺🤍

My snack is the last off-brand thin mint in the package because I've been saving it for a moment when I need to treat myself.

Hi, I don't usually post on reddit, just lurk, so if I do something wrong, I apologize. This community just seems so wholesome and sisterly that I feel safe venting here.

So, long story short(er), this year has been significantly financially unstable for my husband and me. I have chronic migraines and really struggle to hold down a job, so for the previous few years, my husband has been the primary breadwinner and I supplement with gigs and side jobs when physically able. I got to rest when I needed and help when I could, and it was great. We didn't have a ton of surplus money, but we weren't living paycheck to paycheck either. Things were really comfortable and on an upward incline and our savings was the highest it had ever been, and we'd even begin trying to conceive because we've both always wanted kids and thought we were safe enough to try.

Then, things just started happening. I won't get into all of it because we'd be here all day, but here's some highlights:

We moved, which took a decent chunk of our savings, and then before we'd managed to recover, our car had a very expensive break down that took a solid bite out of what was left. Then I had two ER visits close together and each cost around $2k even with insurance, then my husband and I proceeded to both get COVID, and while we were both down for the count with high fevers, he found out he was being laid off from his tech job. He immediately started trying to damage control and find more work, but the whole field was and is hemorrhaging employees or in the midst of hiring freezes and he couldn't (and can't) get in anywhere.

It's been a year. We're barely scraping by with both of us working and doing gig work. He got a job at a small local manufacturer and I clean buildings at night. I'm in so much pain all the time and it's absolutely miserable, and my husband is getting more and more burnt out as time goes on from the perpetual anxiety. We have a penny in our savings account. At the end of last month, we had seven dollars left, total.

We're not being financially irresponsible. We've reduced everything we pay for. Any unnecessary purchases (subscriptions, hobby supplies, etc) are gone. Grocery shopping is potatoes, bread, rice, and peanut butter. My prescriptions are affordable only through the help of a local clinic. We drive as little as possible to conserve gas. These $1.99 cookies from WinCo are the first chocolate I've had in *months* and they were heavily debated on before purchasing.

It's exhausting and scary and I'm terrified of the day we can't pay rent, because it's coming, and oh boy is it coming soon. We found out yesterday that my husband is being laid off from his new company because they're downsizing. We can't afford our current small apartment on only what I bring in and nowhere he's applied has so much as interviewed him.

I'm scared. So freaking scared. We're doing so much. My husband has sent out *thousands* of applications and reached out to every single person he can think of for opportunities. I'm working myself to exhaustion and constant pain with so little to show for it. I feel the broken promise of the American dream like jaws waiting to close around me at any given moment, and through all of this, my family keeps encouraging us to have a baby.

*A baby.*

We can't afford to feed ourselves and barely scrape together enough for rent.

My family will listen to and commiserate when we tell them our financial woes and have even helped as much as they can, but as soon as I mention being sad we had to stop trying to conceive, it's like everything I just said is erased from their minds.

"You can make it work, parents always do."

"The most expensive thing about babies is the birth."

"They don't even eat for several months so they won't be a financial drain on you."

"You'll get a bigger return in tax season."

And on and on and on and on...

Just last week, I had to sit there and listen to my mom and sister list all the reasons we shouldn't let impending homelessness stop us from having a baby. They wouldn't stop talking about it no matter how many times I tried to change the subject and I felt every reassurance like a brick being added to the pile on my back.

I want a child. It's been something I've wanted as long as I can remember. But I don't just wanna spawn in a kid and not be able to care for it. I want to give my baby a safe, happy, healthy childhood with ample food, clothing, school supplies, health insurance, and all the wonderful things money can buy. I never want them to worry about where we're sleeping tomorrow or if they'll have dinner on the table in the evening. I can't bring a whole human being into a world when I can't even keep myself and the man I love more than anything in a stable position. I just *can't* and I'm so exhausted by all of this and by the constant reminders that only a year ago, we were so close to everything I've ever wanted, and it was snatched from us and continuing to slip further and further away.

EDIT: I am so sincerely, genuinely touched by the response to this post. I wrote this in a very sad mindset with my last cookie and the weight of everything we're going through on my shoulders, and the outpouring of understanding, compassion, support, and validation has been so healing for me. I've received so many loving messages and comments that I can't reply to them all and that's absolutely incredible. I know I don't need other people's validation in a decision like parenthood, but when you have hundreds of women telling you you're making the right choice despite the pain it causes, it really, really helps cement that it is what you need to do. I admit that I had doubt that I was making the right choice and that added to the pain I was feeling. To have so many people say no, it is the right choice, has made me feel more anchored than ever.

Thank you to everyone who has commented, from the bottom of my heart. Even the tough love comments have felt like love and I really needed to hear it.

The three loudest messages I've heard from this post are that I definitely shouldn't have a baby right now, that I need to be able to accept help from my community and take better care of myself, and that I have more options than I thought when it comes to my migraines. I've received so much insight on all of these topics (and I gladly welcome more. I might not respond but I'm reading every single comment and message) and for the first time in months I feel like I have a course of action. That, more than anything else, makes me feel so much better than I have been recently.

So again, thank you so much. This experience has been nothing short of beautiful and I never expected how comforted this would make me feel. I really, really needed it. 🩷

Pastries from a French Korean bakery me and my grandma went to

If’s been months now. I just want to vent because I want to shout it to the world almost but I’ve told no one except my current boyfriend, who is amazing. My ex and I had a very toxic relationship. We dated for 7 years. Majority of the time we were drunk. I still struggle with alcohol to this day because of how much I would drink with him. About 2 years ago he and I fought badly and I moved ten hours to move back in with my grandma. We continued to date but he told me he was telling his coworkers he was single because they didn’t want to spend time with him if they knew he had a girlfriend. I didn’t like that but I was like whatever. Then he started hanging out with a new guy at his work, who was trans, a lot. They had sleepovers where they would sleep in the same bed. I was very uncomfortable with this, but he accused me of being transphobic because he was straight and would never hookup with a guy. So I relented because I’m not transphobic. He got drunk and flipped out on me one day so I agreed to drive the 10-12 hours and visit him as soon as possible, which was about 2 days. I left at like 3 am and texted and called him through the journey when I knew he was awake and he ignored me. I show up, we are having a good time and have sex. I developed a cuckquean fetish because of the emotional affairs he would have with other girls and he told me during sex that he had sex with his friend, during the time I was driving to see him. I screamed and yelled at him. I couldn’t believe he would actually do that. I genuinely believed he was 100% straight. His friend was on hormones and very much passed for a guy. We did it without a condom. Immediately after he did it with his friend without a condom, his friend who had frequent casual hookups without using condoms. So I’m immediately terrified I caught an STD. Thankfully, I did not. I started getting drunk often and would vent on social servers about what I went through and people usually weren’t very nice about it. I got called transphobic a lot. I’m not, I just felt like it was a relevant detail because my ex told me during the act that he pictured him as just a really hairy girl. Didn’t make me feel better. In one of my drunken rambles I met my current boyfriend who sat with me for hours and talked. I’m so in love with him. He treats me so well and is so sweet. My ex wanted to get back together and I think if I didn’t have current bf I might have done it. My boyfriend taught me how I want to be treated in my relationships. I genuinely feel like the luckiest girl ever to meet someone like him, especially when I was at the lowest point of my life.

My partner of 5 months has been snapchatting an 18yo girl everyday

My 33f partner 29m has been snapchatting his neighbours daughter 18f everyday for god knows how long and I found out when I had this weird gut feeling and went through his phone while he slept. I'm not proud of it. But I don't really regret it.

I live in a tiny town (like population of 300 tiny) and obviously I got to know everyone in his life pretty quickly. When I met this girl for the first time i didn't think much of her. She's young and attractive and super ditzy. Then we would see her more often at the local bar and everytime she was around my partner she seemed to act so dumb and helpless. Like one night she kept dropping her cigarette and he would pick it up for her everytime. At one point she broke her cigarette and he then rolled her one. I didn't know if she was doing it on purpose but I had this feeling she probably loves male attention so I was developing a bad impression of her.

Anyway, after 2 months of us dating I found a girls tshirt in his lounge room, and he told me it could be hers. Then he changed his story and said it's his exes and he just hasn't cleaned for so long (quite plausible cos his house was a dump site) After that happened though I requested that he limit his contact with her because I feel uncomfortable with their friendship. Fast forward to today, when I'm finding out that he was snapchatting her every single day. When I spoke to him about it he said it was just because he wanted to keep his Snapchat streak.

Kinda feel a bit betrayed, and idk how to move forward.

Girls please tell me if I need a reality check.

Don't feel like eating so banana red bull and cigarettes

This is one of the most insane coincidences I've ever experienced. I want to preface this by saying I have no romantic feelings towards my boss at all, but I really like him as a person and we always get along great when we work together. Right when I got hired at this job (about 3 weeks ago) I had a dream that he proposed to me and gave me this sparkly silver engagement ring with a fairly large diamond in the middle (this will come up later). I have a notes page in my phone where I like to write down all the insane dreams I have and trust me I have so many and they're SO detailed and its always so random. I just love going back and reading them later but anyways I wrote this dream there and it had a bunch of other details that won't make sense to any of you guys unfortunately buttt a couple days ago is where I got the engagement ring irl. We were going through our lost and found at my workplace and anything thats been there over 6 months we donate, unless the staff wants to keep anything for themselves. Someone had left an engagement ring in there and I always wear a lot of rings, and its something my boss always jokes about with me saying I must get in a lot of fights. So he insisted that I keep this ring and I was like sure whatever BUT THEN I looked at it closely and guys when I tell you it was literally a carbon copy of the ring in the dream I had I'm not exaggerating. I don't even understand how this kind of shit happens and I know it might sound like I'm being dramatic but it was genuinely insanse to me. I just have to tell someone about this and I can't tell anyone else that I'm having weird ass dreams about my boss for no reason. I'll also mention he's 20 years older than me and married with kids lol...safe to say not my type. Thanks for reading guys and I guess I can now enjoy my new engagement ring this might help me fight off the creeps if I ever need to!

Sad looking anchovy pizza and miso in a cup. was yummy I swear

My bf and I had some time to kill before our friends came over so naturally, we decided to smash.

We're just getting into it and I have to pee so I said brb. When I come back into the room he jumps out from behind the door and pushes me to the bed which was kinda sexy, he was trying something new. He put me on the bed with my legs on his shoulders (our bed is kinda high up) and the angle is not totally comfortable for me.

For context I was a virgin w/ vaginismus when we started dating for almost a year so we're still learning to be creative with positions and stuff. He tried to re adjust me by pulling me towards him and his schlong went in a bit too much and it hurt slightly but I got such a fright that I pushed him off me and started having a panic attack. I curled into a ball sobbing and hyperventilating for I think a few minutes while he was also freaking out thinking that he had hurt me.

After we cuddled for a while and I reassured him everything was fine, bc it wasnt his fault I got scared for some reason. I felt embarrassed I'd ruined the sex over something so silly. But it wasnt ruined cuz we then fucked and after made this pizza together :)

We’ve together for 13 years, married for three. When we got married we delayed our honeymoon as he left our city to work a few hours away for three months. When he came back, he told me he’d be leaving again a few days later for over a year, again for work. I wasn’t consulted, just informed. I asked him to stay but he refused.

I had already started to resent him because he had stopped contributing to our home. I did all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, trash, you name it. He cleaned the bathroom once a month. I also earn almost double, so was also paying for everything. When I asked him to do more, he called me a nag. He returned to our city early last year once his work project was done, but while he was away I found him more irritable and quicker to anger than he had been before we married.

Just before he returned, I had an abnormal pap which resulted in a hysterectomy to prevent onset of cervical cancer. There were three procedures in total during the year, and he missed two of them. He collected me after the final surgery but went to work 12 hours later.

We’ve struggled with intimacy for a few years, partially down to physical issues for him and me not wanting to pressure him while he worked it out with his doctor. He only ever tried to instigate when I was doing something like chores or cooking and I was never in the mood when being a housemaid.

Last month I spotted a message on his phone, him calling someone “so hot”. I waited a few days and checked his phone, and found tons of messages from women, going back years.

I confronted him and at first he lied and said the first message I saw was him messing with his friends. When I told him I knew more, he admitted it and said he’d talked to these women because he felt lonely and rejected. He blamed me. He swore he’d never slept with anyone. I was started counselling to work out if I could live with it.

I then found a list he’s been keeping of all the women he’s slept with. My name is on there, and there are forty names after mine. He’s been cheating on me for years and years.

It’s entirely possible that his extracurricular activities gave me the disease which necessitated the surgeries, but there’s no way to know for sure.

I’ve told him it’s over. We need to sell the house and move on with our lives. He’s refusing to engage or discuss it. When I last raised separation, he walked out of the room and refused to speak to me for 6 hours. He wont leave our home so I’ll have to go instead.

He’s doing every chore he ignored for years as though it will allow us to stay together and I feel suffocated. I can’t work out if it’s abusive or if he’s literally incapable of dealing with the consequences of his own actions.

I have no appetite but dinner is a cheese plate, apple and pear with walnuts, Brie, Wensleydale, mature and smoked cheddar, plus chili jam.

Ok, not a perfect human, but almost perfect for me. My bf makes me feel like a princess - holding doors open, carrying bags, pulling out chairs, paying for EVERYTHING, taking me to the best restaurants and events in the city, taking care of mechanicals, always on time, gentle, texts and calls back immediately. He loves me like no one’s ever loved me before - openly loving in public and private, which makes me feel safe. We compliment each other like he calms me down when I’m anxious and vice versa. Hanging out together is so fun!

But he broke several sexual boundaries and i dont know if its fixable.

For one, he admitted to having a p-addiction since he was young. I dont know if its ongoing since we started dating but I assume yes. Our sex is great, but he often takes long time to finish or he doesnt care when i dont finish.
He knows i dont like sending pictures over text, so he started taking them in the bedroom using my phone then recently with his own phone. No prior consent:( I talked to him about it and he stopped, but i secretly fear he may be taking them without me knowing. Lastly, he whines about condoms and still pressures me to get on BC (i cant because health issues.) Its confusing to me how he is perfectly normal on all other aspects but when it comes to sex, he becomes an immature, entitled boy.
Im hoping for change but worried its a hard-wired thing

-Do men’s sexual values/behaviors change if theyve had an addiction?
-If i tell him this is a hard boundary and he agrees, will he hold resentment and turn it into a bigger problem?
-Ifhe doesnt respect me in the bedroom, does he respect me at all?

Would love real life stories if possible - good and bad! Thank you

Edit: i dont think hes actually perfect haha no human is…but i wondered if this one area is fixable. But you guys are convincing me otherwise. I do feel safe but theres a reason im asking for advice so.. thanks everyone:)

Edit 2: wow this blew up thank you!! I regret calling him perfect, he is nottt. Also please only offer example stories, i appreciate the similar comments and hear you but its a lot to comb through now haha.
For context ive been in relationships with good men. Current guy about 8 months. Outside of sex he really is normal, successful, gets along with friends, great balance of deep talks and flirting, goes above and beyond what my previous bfs and even my friends good bfs are like (i have successful, level headed and beautiful friends). This stuff started happening recently so yeah, im appalled too. I believe communication and giving people the chance to “do better” is important. Ive given him that chance and maybe another strict, honest conversation is fine but this is probably the end. I really liked him:( Dont worry my support system is strong and ive gotten out of a bad relationship before. My guy sounds bad, but im not afraid of him. I know my worth and will do what needs to be done