Nurse is trying to force PPD diagnosis on me
My lunch on my toddler's plate cause I had no other ones.
Which ironically gets to the issue. I have a nurse following up with me postpartum, comes to my place, great.
She asks me lots of questions, checks my mental health, fantastic.
Then she points to the messy apartment and says that's a sign of PPD. I tell her it's messy cause we are struggling to find time to clean since this is our second baby and we have no help, she still pushes it, claims if I'm not cleaning up then I must be depressed.
I try to explain no, I'm tired from lack of sleep cause my kids need me 24/7 right now? And yes my husband is helping, but we are stretched thin, it's one adult per kid right now, he's looking after our toddler (who is going through sleep regression and hates being awake cause of teething) and I'm handling our newborn, and her feeds, which are like every 2 hours if not more.
I'm sorry being 1 month post partum means I have a messy apartment??
So I got annoyed, started cleaning more, but it's hard to keep on top of. I'm literally starting at 5am to clean cause that's usually when both babies are asleep, my husband handles trash and cooking, I clean the kitchen and living room, playroom,
It doesn't matter, my toddler is a tornado so the moment she wakes up there's a huge mess made, husband cooked so kitchen is a bit messy in a way you have to wait to clean it (dirty pans, dirty stove top, etc, things that need to cool down before cleaning). Baby needs to be fed, toddler makes a mess of her playroom, nurse shows up,
Immediately again, "it's still dirty, I'm pushing for you to see a psychiatrist but she doesn't speak your language so I'll come to the appointments and translate for you, I've told her you have PPD."
I nearly snapped at her but politely brought up how most of the mess right now is cause of my husband, so why am I getting the blame for it??
She backed off a bit and said she'd 'give him a talking to', never did.
I get wanting to be on-top of mental health for postpartum folks, I do, but this felt so sexist and targetted. She immediately assumed I'm the one who is supposed to clean everything, like wtf? Up until recently it was my husband's chore to clean everything, and also we are struggling to keep up with 2 kids I'm sorry, we have no help, we are on our own, I'm not depressed I'm just poor and can't afford a cleaner my gosh.