r/progressive_islam

I'm non Muslim man. I guess I would be considering non-practicing Christian. Probably too old to be posting on here but here I am.

I've known this Muslim woman for probably 5ish years and we've talked daily (good morning, good night, have you ate kind of stuff among texting basically all day). We're both at the age where it's past dating and marriage has been mention on both sides, BUT she's kind of set old school where her thoughts are she can only marry a Muslim man. She said if I was Muslim she wouldn't hesitate to marry me. I sent her some reading material and videos where they were discussing the Quran not saying women can marry outside their religion. but doesn't say they can not either. I know there's possibility of people disliking it but I'm 1000% willing to take that head on and support her any way possible. There's a YouTube channel I've watched QuarnSpeak they discuss it and say its basically the woman's choice. I have zero issues with her religion or if it were to happen, raising kids as Muslim. I'd NEVER expect or ask her to leave her religion. I recently was telling her about this page and that there's a lot of different ideas behind the whole situation. I REALLY care about her to the point just thinking I might lose her hurts. Is there any advice/thoughts/ideas that might help the situation or how to go about it? I'm really at a loss right now.I've seen lots of women saying they were in the same situation and have been happily married for many years now, some with some without

I want to rant and please if you see this i need your support and feedback if you have slight experience please let me know

I decided to wear the hijab two years ago but i have always hated it
some days im motivated but others im not
i keep seeing those influencers and digital creators with hijab to help me motivated but i don't think it works
as of now i am a part time hijabi i wear it to work etc but when i am doing quick errands or going out with friends that i am comfortable with i don't wear it
i am not sure what to do
i am trying my best to hold on to it but idk
so my questions are to you
how did it feel when u took it off ?
what was the breaking point to taking it off?
if you didnt take it off why ?
the reasons why i want to are :
\- i am uncomfortable the hijab makes so uncomfortable and overstimulated
\- it restricts me from dressing up, daily activities and expressing myself
\- i dont think it reflects me which ik sounds stupid but i dont think ima a person that is fit to wear it

Again i see all this pretty girls in hijab and i wish i can be like them but i can
see trends like hijabi do it better but seriously do not relate it makes me insecure and its not that i feel prettier without hijab thats not the case because i feel insecure in both cases the hijab just adds another layer or type
i love Allah i really do and i actually don't why i am holding onto the hijab
cause i talked to my friends and my family about it and they are supportive but im not sure what do i do
i am trying and i am trying but going to events or outings with girls i cancel cause i never feel me or comfortable.... i dont want to do something i regret
thats why i am being a part time for now

Is it haram to download paid games for free or use pirated websites? Assalamu alaikum. Is it haram to: Download paid games for free from Google or other websites Play pirated/cracked games Use pirated websites to watch content I would like to know the correct Islamic ruling on this. Jazakallahu khairan.

First one

Why does alchool abd zina require hadd despite being personal

Second :

I have noticed thar judaism was strict on rules , christanity was laid back , then islam came in middle was there reason or whar

Third :

Aby books or scholars you would recoomend reading to detox often extermist or simple black and white mindset .

Basically whatever you look online on anything islam realted you get the most blzc abd white extermidt stuff you can find like this football is haram cuz man thighs are exposed or something nobofh is literally id bothering looking at that yet somehow it treated same as looking as nudity or somethinh

Fourth

What islamic position on non sexual premartial boudnaries like for example couple kissing hugging and all

Fifth :

There is hadith about teaching kid to pray at 7 and hitting them at 10 and seperate them can i be given context or explanation cuz it soujd a bit tough ngl

And lastly :

How do you define women dress code and male dress code (no i am not one of the guys who say few hair exposed is basically extreme haram but somehow slightly above knee is fine then even that try to justify knee or thighs or watever arent awrah i am not sure what coubt as awrah but i dont have that double standard mindset)

Experience with girl from Gaza THIS IS NOT A POLITICAL POST just a vent.

I want to start by saying that I’m not a good person. I’m flawed and I have my shortcomings, but I’m sincerely trying to do better, even while dealing with CPTSD and ADHD. It’s hard but I’m trying.

I went through severe trauma and experienced a period where I left Islam, hated the religion and hated Muslims.

I didn’t drink or commit zina(sex outside of marriage). I was just dealing with PTSD, the raw depths of it, and the demon of depression that came when everything became normal again. I hated everything and everyone. I still struggle with that, but I’m getting better.

I came across this person from Gaza who had also experienced trauma. She had been relatively middle-class and had a functional life in Gaza. Knowing her made me start to hate less, because hating Muslims also meant hating her and other ordinary people like her.

She also had issues with religion because of something that had happened in her life, which she blamed for. She had also survived being hit in a missile strike.

We bonded deeply. Because of the gravity of her situation in Gaza, I didn’t pursue anything remotely “spicy”, because that would have been the trashiest thing on Earth. I wanted her to be able to trust again, and I wanted her to know that I had no ulterior motive, so I always kept things wholesome.

I sometimes felt bad telling her about the nice things I was doing, such as going on holiday. I did tell her that one day we would go to Paris, I’d take her shopping and we’d go to a bougie restaurant, but I emphasised that it wouldn’t be a date just a wholesome time.

She was a very attractive woman, but I’d say I’m also attractive. Sometimes I felt like she wanted me to chase her, which annoyed me. It also seemed at times she fished for compliments and I really didn’t like that.

She would send pictures that could be considered thirst traps. In response, I’d sometimes send pics of myself, indirectly trying to communicate: “I don’t need to chase a woman. Look at me.”

But then I’d remind her that I wasn’t there to play games, and im not here for all that.

Generally, we would go back and forth talking about trauma, dealing with hatred and discussing books we had read. We would bounce ideas off each other for projects, particularly charity projects aimed at vulnerable adults and children experiencing poverty.

That made up a huge amount of our conversations, and we’ve done a lot of good together. Many people have been fed because of things we worked on together.

When I tried to end my life, she video-called me and reminded me of all the good things we had been doing and that we got so much to do. Likewise, when she was having difficult moments, I would call her and reassure her that things were going to be okay.

I told her that when she eventually left Gaza and reached Spain, her nervous system might finally begin to calm down, and that all the thoughts and emotions she had been repressing for years could come flooding back. I told her to really take care of herself because the demon of depression will emerge.

When she left Gaza, she was lonely, and we became very, very close.

Part of me expected her eventually to ask me for things or imply that she needed something, especially because she had effectively left Gaza with the clothes on her back. I asked her whether she needed any money. She said no, which genuinely surprised me. She just told me to stay by her side.

She would sometimes make comments suggesting that I only spoke to her because she was from Gaza and that I pitied her. She once described it as me “practising kindness” on her, and she sounded slightly resentful.

I called her out on this quite bluntly and said we have both been there for each other equally and I don’t pity her, that most of our conversations aren’t even about Gaza . She had also mentioned, before resentfully, that Palestinians are often only looked at with pity and how she does not like it at all.

Once she was in Spain, she became more open. She would video-call me while dressed in a way that, , wasn’t appropriate for a Muslim girl AT ALL. I felt as though she was deliberately trying to arouse me into chasing her by looking like that. 

I didn’t take the bait and saw through it. Instead, I told her how I had made a girl blush that day just by looking at her today. I acted extremely cocky while deliberately refusing to acknowledge what she was wearing.( I have a trauma response to feeling manipulated I can’t help it)

I became frustrated because I didn’t want to play this game with her. It felt shallow and stupid. I felt as though she was trying to manipulate me or play the role of a siren, and I really didn’t like it.

One day, I was tired and fed up with this performance, so I asked her, “When are you going to take this mask off?”

She replied, “What mask?”

I told her, somewhat playfully, “I don’t believe half of what you say. You’re wearing a mask. I see through you. You’re hiding so much from me, as if I can’t tell.”

I doubled down: “Stop all this. Show me the real you.”

And then she showed me a side of herself I hadn’t seen before.

She was angry, resentful and vindictive. She had survived a missile strike when she was 14, experienced physical abuse as a child by her step mother, been abandoned by her mother and had an ex-boyfriend cheat on her and leave gaza while she was still in Gaza.

She admitted that she speaks to loads of guys, has multiple boyfriends and partly does this as a form of revenge against her ex. She also told me that she hates men and hates everything and everyone and doesn’t trust anyone and that’s it all fake. 

Apparently, I was the guy and friend she had spoken to for the longest because I had never really crossed any boundaries with her.

I was taken aback. I started wondering whether I had been an intended target as well, so I asked her, “All this time, were you just planning on using me?”

She took that extremely badly and told me to go to hell.

She then told me about her plans now that she was in Spain. I called her unhinged and crazy and told her that she needed therapy.(they were that bad and sociopathic )

She took that badly too.

She said she would talk to me later.

My final response was: “You are as bad as the rest of the world that you claim is evil.”

she responded

"I dont like you anymore"

"but im going to miss you tho"

Then she blocked me.

It’s been two days.

Now I don’t know how to feel about the entire interaction.

I don’t know how much of it was real. She helped me become a better person, and we genuinely did good things together. =But after everything she revealed to me, I feel deeply disappointed, I didn’t react the best way to what she said to me at the end but I don’t know if she was actually trying to use me and use me for revenge due to the fault of other men, because the plans she told me were deeply disturbing.

I feel I have a deep distrust of the world again

So a lot of disturbing shit has come out regarding this guy. I wonder how Mo. Hijab and other red pill muslims who used to support this guy feel about him now lol

I have a boyfriend, he is a muslim, and of course youre supposed to get involved and try to get information about your partner's beliefs, and thatd what I did. I researched about Islam, read some of the Quran, asked him questions, saw him pray, and I really find Islam peaceful and reasonable.

The problem is that for me, uncertainty is what is making me not be a muslim. I really need certainty with everything, maybe it has to do with the fact that I suffer OCD, which makes me always doubt everything.

I know that faith is an essential part of believing in God, but I feel that the only answer and solution to my issue, would be a particular tangible proof of the existence of Allah, If that happened, I would completely surrender to Islam. Is it selfish to wish that? What other alternatives do I have to believe Islam? Thank you all😔

I'm tired of people coming up with new words to use as slurs and for fear mongering. Wth is an "islamist" bro they sound so dumb lmao

For those who don’t know, Ghamidi uses verse 47:4 in the holy Quran as explicit evidence that the Quran abolished any way of obtaining new slaves and concubines, such as prisoners of war.

A thing that comes to mind though, is that if one accept his interpretation which does make sense, we would have to admit that slavery is terrible which is why the Quran ended it.

If this is the case, why was concubinage and slavery allowed (even in a regulated form) by god in the first place?

I grew up a muslim believing in hadith and the quran, i was young and never questioned it. I prayed 5 times a day, did every instruction I was given.

Until another group told me you will go to hell for believing this, asharis say atharis are going to hell, madhkalis with wahabis with this and that. Basically islam in itself is confusing because everyone has a verse in the quran to back up their claims or a hadith.

So i stopped believing in hadith all together i went stricly through the quran, but then I said if we can question hadith why can't we question the quran? Isn't that blind faith?
I learned that even the miracles in the quran aren't miracles they were theories already mentioned by geniuses like aristotle hundreds of years ago. At the end of the day it's all just BELIEF no proof. Allah didn't even show us the correct way to pray and he ALLOWED hadith to exist causing so much division.

Why is our religion the right one if we have 0 proof? I mean even the christians and hindus can say "well you just have to believe" i really need guidance, i'm leading towards agnosticism but I want guidance and I hope one of you who went through the same thing can help.