u/Familiar-Prune8621

Salaam. I’d like to first clarify i have severe OCD.

I have plenty of compulsions. And the only way to stop doing them is saying things like an oath on Allahs name, to not do that act. But then, that stopped working and i changed to something extremely terrible. I started uttering phrases like.. if you do this then you’re challenging/ daring Allah. For instance when i kept buying new headphones and returning them i said, “If you buy another pair of headphones then you’re daring Allah to send you to hell etc”.

Now, i know how severely disrespectful this is but i just can’t stop. I keep saying it when I’m frustrated and now it’s become a habit.

Now, thankfully recently i’ve been having less compulsions. But Recently, i’ve become a bit overweight and the only way to stop myself from eating has been taking oaths on Allahs name. I know how disrespectful this is, but idk why i do it and it’s the only thing that makes me serious enough to stop eating more.

I have an event I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. Now this is where i messed up. Yesterday, after a meal, i made an oath on Allahs name and said “if you eat anything else today then that means you’re challenging Allah to kill you during the event.”

I’m a Muslim, and believe in Allah’s power. I know how insignificant i am, and how anything is possible. I was ok with not eating all day, but i accidentally bought bubble tea with boba balls and when i had swallowed a few balls (which included chewing so eating them) i realised what i had done. Even so, I still continued to eat the rest of the balls and finish the drink. I should’ve stopped when i realised, but i still continued.

Now, i’m spiralling. In my heart, and mind, i’ve NEVER had any intention to challenge Allah. I just say it to stop actions, although eating is not an OCD related action. But i really have to go to this event tomorrow. I’m terrified of what’s going to happen, i don’t want to die.

I know there’s terrible people who insult Islam, but i doubt anyone has outright said those words like i have and so i’m doomed. How can i save myself or is it inevitable?

I know how you are forgiven for OCD related actions, but this wasn’t OCD, i said those words to stop EATING and to not gain fat, it wasn’t an ocd compulsion so i was completely sane.

Edit: i really appreciate the ocd advice but this situation yesterday in particular wasn’t really an OCD related event it was more of me repeating a habit i had back from my OCD past of saying these phrases to stop myself from doing something…

Salaam. I’d like to first clarify i have severe OCD.

I have plenty of compulsions. And the only way to stop doing them is saying things like an oath on Allahs name, to not do that act. But then, that stopped working and i changed to something extremely terrible. I started uttering phrases like.. if you do this then you’re challenging/ daring Allah. For instance when i kept buying new headphones and returning them i said, “If you buy another pair of headphones then you’re daring Allah to send you to hell etc”.

Now, i know how severely disrespectful this is but i just can’t stop. I keep saying it when I’m frustrated and now it’s become a habit.

Now, thankfully recently i’ve been having less compulsions. But Recently, i’ve become a bit overweight and the only way to stop myself from eating has been taking oaths on Allahs name. I know how disrespectful this is, but idk why i do it and it’s the only thing that makes me serious enough to stop eating more.

I have an event I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. Now this is where i messed up. Yesterday, after a meal, i made an oath on Allahs name and said “if you eat anything else today then that means you’re challenging Allah to kill you during the event.”

I’m a Muslim, and believe in Allah’s power. I know how insignificant i am, and how anything is possible. I was ok with not eating all day, but i accidentally bought bubble tea with boba balls and when i had swallowed a few balls (which included chewing so eating them) i realised what i had done. Even so, I still continued to eat the rest of the balls and finish the drink. I should’ve stopped when i realised, but i still continued.

Now, i’m spiralling. In my heart, and mind, i’ve NEVER had any intention to challenge Allah. I just say it to stop actions, although eating is not an OCD related action. But i really have to go to this event tomorrow. I’m terrified of what’s going to happen, i don’t want to die.

I know there’s terrible people who insult Islam, but i doubt anyone has outright said those words like i have and so i’m doomed. How can i save myself or is it inevitable?

I know how you are forgiven for OCD related actions, but this wasn’t OCD, i said those words to stop EATING and to not gain fat, it wasn’t an ocd compulsion so i was completely sane.

Edit: i really appreciate the ocd advice but this situation yesterday in particular wasn’t really an OCD related event it was more of me repeating a habit i had back from my OCD past of saying these phrases to stop myself from doing something…

Salaam. I’d like to first clarify i have severe OCD.

I have plenty of compulsions. And the only way to stop doing them is saying things like an oath on Allahs name, to not do that act. But then, that stopped working and i changed to something extremely terrible. I started uttering phrases like.. if you do this then you’re challenging/ daring Allah. For instance when i kept buying new headphones and returning them i said, “If you buy another pair of headphones then you’re daring Allah to send you to hell etc”.

Now, i know how severely disrespectful this is but i just can’t stop. I keep saying it when I’m frustrated and now it’s become a habit.

Now, thankfully recently i’ve been having less compulsions. But Recently, i’ve become a bit overweight and the only way to stop myself from eating has been taking oaths on Allahs name. I know how disrespectful this is, but idk why i do it and it’s the only thing that makes me serious enough to stop eating more.

I have an event I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. Now this is where i messed up. Yesterday, after a meal, i made an oath on Allahs name and said “if you eat anything else today then that means you’re challenging Allah to kill you during the event.”

I’m a Muslim, and believe in Allah’s power. I know how insignificant i am, and how anything is possible. I was ok with not eating all day, but i accidentally bought bubble tea with boba balls and when i had swallowed a few balls (which included chewing so eating them) i realised what i had done. Even so, I still continued to eat the rest of the balls and finish the drink. I should’ve stopped when i realised, but i still continued.

Now, i’m spiralling. In my heart, and mind, i’ve NEVER had any intention to challenge Allah. I just say it to stop actions, although eating is not an OCD related action. But i really have to go to this event tomorrow. I’m terrified of what’s going to happen, i don’t want to die.

I know there’s terrible people who insult Islam, but i doubt anyone has outright said those words like i have and so i’m doomed. How can i save myself or is it inevitable?

I know how you are forgiven for OCD related actions, but this wasn’t OCD, i said those words to stop EATING and to not gain fat, it wasn’t an ocd compulsion so i was completely sane.

Edit: i really appreciate the ocd advice but this situation yesterday in particular wasn’t really an OCD related event it was more of me repeating a habit i had back from my OCD past of saying these phrases to stop myself from doing something…

Salaam. I’d like to first clarify i have severe OCD.

I have plenty of compulsions. And the only way to stop doing them is saying things like an oath on Allahs name, to not do that act. But then, that stopped working and i changed to something extremely terrible. I started uttering phrases like.. if you do this then you’re challenging/ daring Allah. For instance when i kept buying new headphones and returning them i said, “If you buy another pair of headphones then you’re daring Allah to send you to hell etc”.

Now, i know how severely disrespectful this is but i just can’t stop. I keep saying it when I’m frustrated and now it’s become a habit.

Now, thankfully recently i’ve been having less compulsions. But Recently, i’ve become a bit overweight and the only way to stop myself from eating has been taking oaths on Allahs name. I know how disrespectful this is, but idk why i do it and it’s the only thing that makes me serious enough to stop eating more.

I have an event I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. Now this is where i messed up. Yesterday, after a meal, i made an oath on Allahs name and said “if you eat anything else today then that means you’re challenging Allah to kill you during the event.”

I’m a Muslim, and believe in Allah’s power. I know how insignificant i am, and how anything is possible. I was ok with not eating all day, but i accidentally bought bubble tea with boba balls and when i had swallowed a few balls (which included chewing so eating them) i realised what i had done. Even so, I still continued to eat the rest of the balls and finish the drink. I should’ve stopped when i realised, but i still continued.

Now, i’m spiralling. In my heart, and mind, i’ve NEVER had any intention to challenge Allah. I just say it to stop actions, although eating is not an OCD related action. But i really have to go to this event tomorrow. I’m terrified of what’s going to happen, i don’t want to die.

I know there’s terrible people who insult Islam, but i doubt anyone has outright said those words like i have and so i’m doomed. How can i save myself or is it inevitable?

I know how you are forgiven for OCD related actions, but this wasn’t OCD, i said those words to stop EATING and to not gain fat, it wasn’t an ocd compulsion so i was completely sane.

Salaam. I’d like to first clarify i have severe OCD.

I have plenty of compulsions. And the only way to stop doing them is saying things like an oath on Allahs name, to not do that act. But then, that stopped working and i changed to something extremely terrible. I started uttering phrases like.. if you do this then you’re challenging/ daring Allah. For instance when i kept buying new headphones and returning them i said, “If you buy another pair of headphones then you’re daring Allah to send you to hell etc”.

Now, i know how severely disrespectful this is but i just can’t stop. I keep saying it when I’m frustrated and now it’s become a habit.

Now, thankfully recently i’ve been having less compulsions. But Recently, i’ve become a bit overweight and the only way to stop myself from eating has been taking oaths on Allahs name. I know how disrespectful this is, but idk why i do it and it’s the only thing that makes me serious enough to stop eating more.

I have an event I’m really looking forward to tomorrow. Now this is where i messed up. Yesterday, after a meal, i made an oath on Allahs name and said “if you eat anything else today then that means you’re challenging Allah to kill you during the event.”

I’m a Muslim, and believe in Allah’s power. I know how insignificant i am, and how anything is possible. I was ok with not eating all day, but i accidentally bought bubble tea with boba balls and when i had swallowed a few balls (which included chewing so eating them) i realised what i had done. Even so, I still continued to eat the rest of the balls and finish the drink. I should’ve stopped when i realised, but i still continued.

Now, i’m spiralling. In my heart, and mind, i’ve NEVER had any intention to challenge Allah. I just say it to stop actions, although eating is not an OCD related action. But i really have to go to this event tomorrow. I’m terrified of what’s going to happen, i don’t want to die.

I know there’s terrible people who insult Islam, but i doubt anyone has outright said those words like i have and so i’m doomed. How can i save myself or is it inevitable?

I know how you are forgiven for OCD related actions, but this wasn’t OCD, i said those words to stop EATING and to not gain fat, it wasn’t an ocd compulsion so i was completely sane.

Edit: i really appreciate the ocd advice but this situation yesterday in particular wasn’t really an OCD related event it was more of me repeating a habit i had back from my OCD past of saying these phrases to stop myself from doing something…