r/MuslimCorner

Hi everyone,

I’m 19, finished high school a year ago and I’m going to be traveling to my parents’ home country for an extended trip this year. I’m pretty sure this trip is going to lead to some marriage proposals as in my last trip, (where i was underage so i didnt agree but now im considering it if i find a fit) and honestly, I am feeling completely out of my depth.

To be clear: I don’t think I’m dumb, but I am incredibly inexperienced. I’ve never had the talk about what the courting process looks like. My family hasn’t really discussed it with me, and I’ve never had to navigate this before. Because of that, I’m feeling really anxious.

I’m also struggling with my own personality. I’m a very expressive person: I laugh, I make faces, I’m quite animated, and I cover my mouth when I giggle. I’m concerned that in this context, people might mistake my natural friendliness and warmth for flirting (which happens often) or worse, see me as not serious. I want to be respectful and professional during these meetings, but I also want to be myself and feel comfortable in my own skin.

I’m terrified that if I go into these meetings without knowing what to look for or how to act, I’ll come across as naive. I’m scared that if I don’t set the right tone from the beginning, I might be taken for granted or the dynamic might be skewed in a way that’s hard to fix later. I want to be respected and I want to make sure I’m asking the right questions, but I don't even know where to start.

For those of you who have been through this, or who wish they knew better the first time around, could you give me some advice?

Specifically:

What should I actually be asking? What are the must ask questions that help you figure out if you're actually compatible, rather than just getting surface level answers?

How do I carry myself? How do I strike that balance of being polite and respectful, but also firm, intelligent, and serious?

What are the red flags? Are there specific behaviors or patterns I should look out for nowing it wont work long term?

Salam walaikum everyone

Wondering if there are any Muslims in Stockholm here who are traditional but nerdy, into MMA, anime, gaming, TV Shows movies etc ? Been tough as heck to find likeminded people here for some reason. I'm 30M, so groups of brothers and sisters who are into similar stuff would be great since it can get pretty isolating here.

Plus if you're international minded.

I know getting your ears/nose pierced is not haram, but how about the stomach? Is it disliked or completely haram?

Thank you.

Assalamu Alaikum, I am building an app (the app's purpose, use, etc is 100% halal). I will be partnering up (50/50 split or something, its also possible, that he is given more share than me) with some some influencer for the app.

My question: If I build the app myself (halal), but later partner with someone who uses music in content he creates about the app or something else thats not permissible in islam, does that make me sinful?

So chances of that influencer being non-muslim is high and because he's a partner not a freelancer/employee I cannot dictate him what to do and not to do in the content.

If it is sinful for me, what options are there if any, I mean is there something that can be changed slightly for it to not be sinful for me. If there's no fully halal option, I'll try some non-influencer approach.

Jazakallah Khair.

The other day I saw a post of a woman who said she’s trying to get married and she’s so stressed out. I can tell you she doesn’t even want to get married for herself, she’s having culture telling her that she’s too old and she needs to get married……. Mind you she’s 25……

25 years old and was told she’s “old”….. like you see how this type of ignorant logic really messes with our mental health? Majority of the time logic like this leads to marriages that are not happy, usually it’s neutral or just unhappy, I never see any companionship, partnership, best friend or romance or anything.

And men….. YOU ARE NOT OLD EITHER….

Can you all please relax, get married for yourself, not limit yourself to only one race or have your parents control everything? They need to approve the marriage, they can’t disprove it for an invalid reason.

Assalamualaikum, I want to start off by saying that I’m in a very difficult place and looking for any support I can get. I think what I need at this point is an outside perspective from you all. My heart isn’t agreeing to let this marriage go, but my in my mind I know it needs to eventually come to an end…..I’m hoping some outside input will help guide me , along with continuous prayer to Allah SWT to help me make the right choice.

I’m F 29 married 2.5 years to a man who is a hafiz. Our marriage has had a lot of ups and downs. My husband is a hafiz but he smokes weed continuously all day. He prays all his prayers, but smokes right before and after them. I myself am a “revert” of sorts who didn’t live an Islamic life, and I found my way back to the deen again a few years ago, let go of my haram lifestyle and wore hijab Alhamdulillah. I’m genuinely trying to do my best and get closer to Allah SWT. We had a semi arranged marriage, met through parents (sharing biodatas) and got along well when we spoke, and got married very quickly.

When we were getting ready to get married, he showed that he was ambitious and trying to have a good earning and would be hard working. His salary was less than half of mine (Alhamdulillah I make well over 6 figures) but I respected his character and him being a hafiz, so I overlooked the financial aspect. When we got married, he lost his job after a few months and was out of work for around 6 months. During that time I was managing the entire household (bills, food, rent, everything). He didn’t have his own car and we found out he didn’t have any savings, so my parents got him a car so he could use it to go to search for jobs in hopes of helping him get employed again. In that time he wasted a lot of time playing video games and saying he was applying to jobs, but I saw that he wasn’t putting a lot of effort into it. This whole time he was smoking weed. I’m ashamed to say he even got me started on the weed but I eventually retained the fear of Allah back in my heart Alhamdulillah and stopped for good.

He finally got a job but it’s still less than what is needed to help even do 50/50, and he says he is doing all he can. He wants me to pay for his gas to go to work and so such things because he cannot afford it…. When I tell him to try and apply for better opportunities he fights with me and gets abusive. He is so comfortable at a job where he cannot even fully support himself if we weren’t even together.

He also rubs my salary in my face ….. he continuously brings up me making 6 figures when I myself never talk about or allude to it at all. He constantly tells me I’m arrogant for my salary when I truly loathe working and would love to make $0 and stay at home if I had the option to. He also compares his job to mine and says he does a lot of hard work to earn his money while I don’t do anything at my job and am unfairly paid…. I am a project manager and oversee a large amount of scientific data and have a large team I manage. I never compare our jobs or say I do this or that….he is the one who compares and belittles me for my job and my pay.

When things are good we are like best friends, but he doesn’t want to listen to any input or feedback from me. He was abusive to me and put his hands on me multiple times, and I admit I have also been harsh with my tongue, but he hits me in my face and makes punching motions to me like he’s going to hit me. He calls me a horrible woman and says he spits on himself for marrying a woman like me. All I try to do is try to be a good wife and be pleasing to Allah SWT. I’ve also let go of my harsh words and have stopped fighting with him.

I tell him to try and stop the weed for the sake of Allah SWT and he says he may stop one day. He coughs all day everyday due to the weed and vape use and I just am getting fed up of it. For our anniversary or other events, he doesn’t make any effort, for example I told him I would love some flowers, and he didn’t bother with it. We had a good few months for the past few months but he recently punched and hit me again due to financial issues. He is having issues helping cover half the expenses and is telling me to pay since I’m making a large amount of money. I am getting tired of paying and drowning my savings and I think he should at least try to cover the bills and I have agreed to continue covering half the rent. I’ve changed myself a fair amount Alhamdulillah in this marriage and I’ve let go of a lot of dunya related things I used to take part in. I now mostly focus on my job, watching Islamic lectures and trying to get more knowledge of the deen. It seems like he is still on the same boat he was on, happy doing the bare minimum, expecting me to continue with covering more than half the base expenses and continuing with his smoking. I fear having children with him…. On one side I would love to have him teach them Quran as a hafiz but his bad habits scare me when I think of it rubbing off on my children.

He also passes out relatively often when we sit down together, he comes home, eats and will just dose off while he sits on the couch so we don’t spend much time quality time together. He says he’s working on bettering himself and wants me to be patient but him punching me continuously without any remorse, saying I’m a degraded woman and calling me all sorts of names, especially in months such as Dhul Hijjah and Ramadan make me think he will never change or have any realization.

He tells me he knows he’s lucky he got me, he would die for me and he values me. When things are good they are great, but when something doesn’t go his way or when his issues are brought up for a grown married adult discussion, everything goes south. He also acts as a hypocrite many times, he will call me the B word and if I say it back to him after losing all my patience’s he will come and slap me.

My parents have told me I’m wasting my time with him and I should leave while I’m young. I unfortunately have love for him in my heart as my husband and am finding it hard to make a decision. I also fear being alone for the rest of my life if I go through with a divorce. Alhamdulillah I take care of myself and used to be confident, but I now find myself questioning my worth and whether I’ll be able to have a family if I leave.

I am a successful woman by Allah’s great blessings and His will, but due to my pre-revert lifestyle, I don’t have many Muslim sisters to talk to. I feel alone and confused and that is why I am coming here to get some of your feedback. Thank you in advance for your time and I apologize if this was all over the place as I have racing thoughts and bad ADHD. Jazakallah Khair

Hi
This is a little out of my comfort zone, but I thought I’d give this a try.

I’m 22F, practicing Muslim, born and raised in Dubai, North Indian by ethnicity I’m 5’4, a software engineer, and I’d describe myself as emotionally intelligent (I hope lol), self-aware, sensible, practical, considerate of how my actions affect people, I have a bubbly/smiley personality (not self glazing iv been told so many times), I’m very family-oriented, grounded, and try my best to stay aligned with my faith.

Outside of work, I’m pretty active, I run, bake, paint, pilates gym consistently, and watch an unhealthy amount of series/movies <3 I also love matcha ( am I …. turning into a white woman?).

I am going to be very open and outright say that I’ve never been in a relationship before and never really cared for modern dating/hookup culture. For the longest time I was super career-focused and honestly never felt the need for a relationship, but recently that’s shifted a little. I’ve started realizing that marrying young can actually be something really beautiful (my 1-year-ago self would be shocked lol), and I’ve been making a lot of dua for it this Ramadan.

I’m ambitious and still have a lot I want to do in life, buy my Porsche, skydive, travel randomly, all of that I’d say I’m very spontaneous/adventurous and would love a marriage where we genuinely enjoy life together and grow together.
I’m still very much aware of how the world and all this is temporary and we should be working towards Jannah!

I’d prefer someone around 23–27, taller than me (5’7+ ideally, sorry about that! You can have your physical trait preferences too and that’s completely fine!), religious, loyal, kind, emotionally mature, ambitious, funny, and just… a good person with good morals. And to be very honest, it would mean a lot to find someone with a similar background to me in terms of no past/no history/no zina etc., simply because that’s the life I chose for myself too. That being said, I’m absolutely not judging anyone at all, if someone has a past but sincerely changed, grew, and became better, I genuinely respect that.

Also, I’m not saying I’m a perfect Muslim whatsoever, I’m not even hijabi (yet, inshAllah one day), but I try my best, I dress very modestly, I pray 5 times a day without fail, Fast, Zakaat all of that(sometimes Tahajjud if Allah SWT invites me), read the Quran often, and want to keep improving inshAllah.

One thing that’s important to mention: I don’t currently see myself wanting kids right now, maybe later inshAllah. I love babies and I understand the beauty/barakah of it, but at this stage of life I still have a lot I want to do and experience, and I’d love to enjoy life with my husband first before taking on that responsibility emotionally and financially.

I’m not looking for anything inappropriate, just a halal way of getting to know someone naturally, I refuse to use any apps and would hate being setup. Unfortunately my guy can’t magically come knocking on my door as I hoped, but I still believe good things exist :)

If you feel like we’d align, feel free to reach out respectfully.

May Allah guide us all to what’s best for us 🤍

Edit: I am NOT desperate like that, infact in this generation if you want to get a bf/gf it’s so easy, many guys have tried but I didn’t see them as a potential husband so I had to politely turn them all down, it’s not the lack of options but the lack of right options and that’s why I’m here, and I mean this in the most humble non-arrogant way ifykyk

A girl liked my profile recently and tried reaching out through a mutual intermediary. On paper today, she appears practising - hijab on, Islamic reminders reposted, talks about “finding the deen again” etc.

But I remembered her digital footprint.

Years of social media content doesn’t just disappear from people’s minds overnight. The freemixing, clubbing clips, thirst traps, tabarrujj, vaping, swearing online, dancing on TikTok, revealing outfits, displaying chest and body shape, heavy makeup, lip filler selfies, posting for male attention, late night snaps with random men, holidays with non-mahrams, “girls trips” that looked anything but innocent, flirtatious comments, Snapchat culture, fishing for validation, and constantly needing attention from strangers... I seen it all.

And let’s be real, once a woman publicly carries herself a certain way online for years, serious men looking for marriage will remember it. The internet remembers. People remember.

Ladies need to understand something - your digital footprint matters massively.

You can repent to Allah and may Allah forgive you completely - that’s between you and Him. But human beings are still allowed to make marriage decisions based on what they personally witnessed. Actions have consequences socially too.

A lot of women think they can spend years building an influencer-style online persona, collecting male attention and validation, then suddenly switch into “soft traditional Muslim wife” mode and expect men to completely overlook the past. That’s not reality for many men.

For me personally, once I’ve seen certain behaviour publicly displayed, I can’t unsee it. No amount of rebranding changes the image already built in my mind. So I quietly declined and moved on.

Please sisters, protect your haya from the beginning. Not everything needs to be posted online. Temporary attention from strangers is not worth damaging your reputation long-term.

Assalamualaikum,

I'm currently conducting my dissertation research on the everyday experiences of Muslim women in India, particularly experiences related to visible religious identity and wearing the hijab.

I really need help in getting responses, as I have almost reached my deadline and am still falling short, especially from revert women.

Participants must be women above 18 years of age, currently residing in India, and identify as Muslim (born Muslim or convert).

The form is short, completely voluntary, and responses will remain anonymous and confidential. Kindly help me reach potential participants or circulate the form if possible.

Your support would truly mean a lot.

JazakAllah khair

My name is Yusuf, I am Turkish, 18 years old, and religious.

My height is 1.84 cm.

I am a student.

I am looking for a student like myself.

Regarding age, the person should be at most two years older than me, no more than that.

Please, no Indians, Arabs, or Kurds.

I want someone religious like myself.

Hygiene is important to me.

Those interested can send a message.

I have dark skin

Anyone feels like this whole process is so tiring? Like you meet a potential it doesn't work you meet another it doesn't work and it keeps going on and on until you feel like it's not for u anymore??

About the verse 4:34 and women & science.

regarding the holy Quran verse and many hadiths about the ways the husband can discipline the wife like temporary abandonment / light beating with a miswak… does this also apply to a wife ? Like can the wife do this to the husband if the husband was mistreating her ? And if not, what can a wife do if the husband mistreats (instead of asking for divorce of course)

If women do not have the ability to discipline then this is a problem. If only the husband is given the authority to discipline then this means Islam compares women to children, rendering them to be less mature, less intelligent emotionally and overall. This is objectively false since both genders have roughly the same intelligence on average as proven by many studies…..

Is it true that if you start to have a desire to make a specific dua more now then u ever have before, it means Allah put that desire in your heart and wants you to want it?

I'm nearly 33, still single. Several years ago I spent £7000 on eye surgery to get rid of glasses, I was very short sighted with very thick glasses.

Over the years, my crown has completely thinned, and my hairline has almost completely receded. I'm now having to go for a hair transplant which will cost me another 5-6k.

It's depressing that I'm having to continuously spend money chasing my flaws to just "be in the game" for marriage. I wish I was able to get married younger, because by this time, if I was, maybe she would've been in love with me and my hair loss would not have mattered.

I know what people are going to say, "it's not about looks it's about character, the right sister will care more about your character" but this to me is partial rubbish. It may be true when you're already in a relationship, as I've described above, but on the marriage search, you're screened like a product of a shelf; I'm already short at 5'2, no woman would find me physically appealing, if I'm balding on top of that (literally) my chances are even more slim.

So I (18F) am a muslim woman who's wearing the hijab (headscarf for those who don't know) and I hate it. It feels so suffocating, I feel ugly wearing it, and it makes me resent my religion even more. I once took it off when I was 16-turning 17-and it felt like heaven. But when turned 18, the pressure of wearing it again was placed upon me so I started wearing it again. But I genuinely hate it, I feel like my faith isn't as strong as to when I was not wearing my hijab. I want to tell my mother that I'd like to remove it a second time because I genuinely can't stand looking at myself in the mirror or photos because of how much I hate how I look. But I don't know how to tell her. Additionally, removing the hijab is a very frowned upon act and I'm 100% sure that my mom will not allow me to remove it again because she'd be embarrassed and I would disappoint my family. What should I do? I can't stand wearing the hijab anymore, it makes me cry every night. So how do I tell her all of this and make her understand?

Is it normal to sleep to the sound of rain? What does it mean?

It makes me feel at peace.

What do you think we can do now to our brothers in Palestine, Lebanon, Sudan, China...etc that really could make a difference?

I always think about donating, learning about them and speaking about them but I always feel like it's not enough

What do you think?

Salaam all

I’m a 27-year-old practising Muslim living in UK. Financially stable alhamdulillah and now looking to find a spouse with the intention of marriage.

I’m not looking for casual dating only something halal and serious with someone practising and compatible in deen and life outlook.

I wanted to ask those who’ve been through, what routes actually worked for you? (apps, mosques, community setups, marriage events, etc.) Not really been successful in these. Alot of time wasters.

Any advice or recommendations would be really appreciated. JazakAllah khair.