u/Due-Smoke8035

So, I just read a post on something...

So there's a specific region in my country, where most of the marriages occur soon... Like girl reaches 20 nd she already knows whom she is gonna marry. Guys being 24+

Now the thing is- this guy already comes from rich family,is handsome and has enough fame too. And most of all he is already commited to a beautiful girl which his family chose for him.

This guy, later on goes to a trip with all of his clg mates- and then later it gets revealed that this blud has already slept with few of ppl completely from other religion- and is into w££d and dk wt more.

For some reason,this could also be a fake post... But deep down ik that there are ppl still engaging in some sorta things like this.

If it's real, doesn't the girl have the right to know Abt such a person?

Should the person be blaming the naseeb? Or do what?

So i had to feed 10 poor people... I bought 10 food packets, and then distributed them.

While distributing, two ppl said they need another packet coz they need to feed their siblings/children...

Now,logically I gave food packets to only 8. But did i rly fees 10 ppl?

I'm still overthinking over and over again.

Wt do I do?

How much does a clg rly matter?

I couldn't prepare well for jee and neither for my state entrance engineering exam.

My parents are willing to pay for Management Quota at a nearby college. It's a private uni with an avg of 6-7 LPA in CSE.

But,I'm unable to decide coz I feel like maybe I can go to better clg by taking a drop? Sometimes,I'm thinking let's go directly-but I'm gonna feel worse there? Maybe? None of my frnds are gonna be and neither do I feel good thinking Abt it.

Idts. Am I right?

This whole week has been stressful for me. I learnt alot, i strongly believe if I had prayed alot- then it's this week. Even more than Ramadan.

I barely get sleep at night and I'm unable to take any decision properly. I made istekhara but i just can't understand wts even going on. I listened to Qur'an,tried alot things...but I'm just tired of everything so far.

Afternoon, I got 5 min of peace...idk how but I smiled for no reason as if Allah fixed my trouble. I thought my test is over. I quickly prayed Shukr Nafl,only to realise things are still the same and I'm still in the same dilemma.

Everything is in mess rn. Nthng is giving me peace. I'm following all my prayers,did istekhara,dua,astagfar,charity,Listening to Qur'an... Wt else do I do?

I badly wanted to go to a certain Uni,but i couldn't. Fine? Maybe I should just choose wt I'm getting. Guess wt? I can't move on from the phase. I've completely lost interest to study,continue my major, or anything.

I don't feel like living, my home environment is making it more troublesome. I'm getting angry super fast,getting annoyed and feeling restless. Having trouble to sleep, unable to wake up earlier.

It was the same earlier,just that Allah sent me peace through a person... I badly want to talk to her and maybe I'll feel the peace again? But I'm afriad it will be a sin. I left it. It's been enough days. Yet Allah makes me go through even more mess. I'm finding it so difficult that i can't even walk or drive properly to masjid. I'm staying hrs there hoping Allah will guide... My Tawakkul is dropping. I just can't do it anymore.

I just completed my high school taking Math as my major coz my parents wanted me to do engineering. I hated math during school yet I scored good enough. Probably luck? Idk.

I wanted to get into a good uni, but i couldn't. Studied tediously...but when exam approached,I was burnt out..broken due to some bonds.

I've always been like this since high schl. I never had interest in life. Therapy doesn't work . councelling just feels waste of time and money. I kept relying on ppl to exist. When they leave,i forget to live.

I'm tired of everything. I'm getting a local uni but I'm thinking I can do better. I'm afriad I'll fail national exam again... Then the gap yr would feel worthless and I'll be a junior to my frnds.

A part of me says- I can do better while other just wants to move on from the phase. Then should I move on? If i did I'm afraid i won't give my best in the local uni

Meku malum thak gye hunga roz roz mere baatein sunke...but I can't rly understand how to fix myself. So just venting incase something helps

Meri life me sabse bada change aaya boleto- change in standard of living. It was as if someone shifted from Jubilee hills to some chaotic place. I lived almost whole my life in a place very calm,haad my own place..etc. Ngl,tab tak i stayed away from my dad and siblings and studied tediously. I shifted to my dad's family last yr. Yaha khud ka room ny hai, home environment is completely opp.. I just don't want to do anything here. Aadha din ya rehrum,aadha bahar/masjid etc

My dad is caring but i hate things he does (bus ek cheez pucha mai- a room for myself,i cojdknt get it),my other sis who has a baby- she's literally acting way too much toxic to me. Overprotective to her baby to the core that she doesn't let me touch him, har waqt ladai... She hits me and cries instead. And it's super uncomfortable living with my dad's family.

Mai last yr,Boht mushkil se sambhala...I went to a library and used to stay there whole day studying... Ab wapas jaana dil ny karra,I'm tired of that place. In December,I was forced to leave library just coz my sis wanted my help to bring her food due to pregnancy. Funny how the same sis I left my schedule for,makes me feel worse everyday.

Since childhood,I've been that A+ kid. 10th me 10/10 cgpa tha,inter me kuch 980+ (idk state board is hella easy or wt) but ab bus thak gya hu life se. Shayad home environment rly matters...coz when I went to the previous home i used to live- I don't feel this sad at all. Alag energy aati meku wa.

Before EAMCET,I was obsessed with IIT/NIT life- I didn't prepare for EAMCET so that parents allow for drop. Meku kya malum tha ki chizan itta kharab hote bolke. I thought my sis would leave after pregnancy or I'll go offline coaching-

Ab samjhme ny aara kuch bhi... Local clg pappa ke ghar ke paas milra but I'm rly not satisfied with wt I'm getting. Crowd would be completely different. Drop leke padhinge bole to ghar ke masle theek ny hore.

Ngl,I just don't feel the reason to exist anymore. It has been this way almost everytime but I was immature back then that I found things to live by. Ab kisme bhi interest ny aara.

I rly want to get into a good uni, but things keep going otherway. My mind is confused whether to take a gap yr or move to local uni im getting. I've no interest to study rn idk why.

I feel depressed to the core,and I'm sick of the environment I'm in.

Economy is dropping at worse. 500 ki to value ich ny hai. Rest items are starting over 300. Petrol prices are surging...aise Boht chiza hai ngl.

Ab iski wajah se sab jobs karre...like in a family, husband and wife both are. I'm not against women working. But wt I've observed is- bacche bigad jaare.

Ab dekho,before ppl come in the comments restricting women completely...hamara deen ijazat deeta is cheez ka with certain boundaries ofc. But wt I'm trying to say is- make sure aapke cousins ya relation me jo bhi hai- wo bacchon ke saath time spend karo. Look wt they are watching, wt they are learning.

I'll tell u my personal experience-

Ik a family, both parents working and they have 2 kids. They stay awake till 1am watching yt shorts(elder) nd yt kids (younger). Ngl seeing shorts at this age? Attention span hamara ich itna kharab hai...I basically even stopped watching yt shorts and I see long form of content. But itne age me shorts dekhe ki shot hojate baad me. The kids are showing weird behaviour ngl.. like itna gussa? Throwing things? Ye sab? Darr hai to thoda ich. Above that they don't even home made food. Hamesha dukaan ku jaake kharidna. And evening chicken items ofc. Their parents are thinking they are giving them best life. How do I explain they are ruining them?

Now they are taking up loans,idk how to convince them to not take. But their situation isn't good either.

(I'll be back with my rant/vent soon 😭)

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I just don't know how to express wt jm going through.

I tried my best to cut out every haram deed possible. Fastings,staying at mosque evening times,astagfar, istekhara,reading Qur'an...everything so far. Peace? Even while praying- i sometimes get weird thoughts...like i just don't want to live? My overthinking never stops.

Since 2 yrs, i have been praying for one thing. It didn't happen. Now I'm asking for some clarity in my mind,I just can't find that. I'm in dilemma. I want to let everyhting go and just go with the flow,but I don't want to regret things in future.

Lemme be honest,it was mostly this way... I found someone last yr, and ngl she helped me avoid ton of Sins. Anger issues were completely gone. She made me calm more than anyone did. Its not like i didn't try to avoid haram... I did. Yet somehow Allah guided her to me back again. I even made prayers to bring clarity and it did. Did istekhara Abt her, and things became more clear Abt her. Whenever I talked to her,I just felt peace till we talked and even gave me energy to continue my life despite how many issues I was going through.

I thought this was one thing that Allah might not have liked and i voluntarily stopped talking to her. Idk how much I have hurt her...idk if she gonna forgive for it either. But I did it,thinking atleast Allah would help me somehow.

It's been days- ton of astagfar,istekhara,prayers,donations... Everything i could think of,I did. Wt do I do anymore.

(Did Ruqyah too, it worked just for half n hr barely that too)

I just don't know how to express wt jm going through.

I tried my best to cut out every haram deed possible. Fastings,staying at mosque evening times,astagfar, istekhara,reading Qur'an...everything so far. Peace? Even while praying- i sometimes get weird thoughts...like i just don't want to live? My overthinking never stops.

Since 2 yrs, i have been praying for one thing. It didn't happen. Now I'm asking for some clarity in my mind,I just can't find that. I'm in dilemma. I want to let everyhting go and just go with the flow,but I don't want to regret things in future.

Lemme be honest,it was mostly this way... I found someone last yr, and ngl she helped me avoid ton of Sins. Anger issues were completely gone. She made me calm more than anyone did. Its not like i didn't try to avoid haram... I did. Yet somehow Allah guided her to me back again. I even made prayers to bring clarity and it did. Did istekhara Abt her, and things became more clear Abt her. Whenever I talked to her,I just felt peace till we talked and even gave me energy to continue my life despite how many issues I was going through.

I thought this was one thing that Allah might not have liked and i voluntarily stopped talking to her. Idk how much I have hurt her...idk if she gonna forgive for it either. But I did it,thinking atleast Allah would help me somehow.

It's been days- ton of astagfar,istekhara,prayers,donations... Everything i could think of,I did. Wt do I do anymore.

(Did Ruqyah too, it worked just for half n hr barely that too)