u/Due-Smoke8035

I'm sorry for lurking here, but I was wondering if u guys could help.

How do chinese students study for such long hrs without getting burnt out? How do u pull urself?

I have studied for like 8-12hrs in the past but once the burn out hit me,it's been 5 months and I can't pull myself even for 8hrs. I've lost the will to even live. I can't find any reason as to live or stay motivated to study either.

Thanks for reading it!!

Stay blessed!

Sorry,I have no solution in regards to it.. but I would like to ask couple of questions:

(1) Did u ever find someone in ur life who felt compatible,but there were restrictions such as age,financial trouble..etc? Wt did u do then?

(2) Wt would u suggest someone who found compatible at young age?

On one hand,u can't marry due to age,financial issues... But mature enough to handle the other. If u give up,u might lose someone... Ofc there's replacement from Allah but i wonder why many ppl are struggling in that case... Nauzubillah... I don't mean such way but idk marriage feels definitely difficult coz ppl are getting into things which could become dealbreakers later on.

I'm bored. I got studies but bhai i can't pull myself. It's been like this since almost 5 months. I barely studied for boards that too with immense force.

I don't want to go anywhere,don't want to eat anything,nthng feels exciting. I was watching series so that I feel distracted- but ab wo bhi khatam hogayi. Now that I realise,I spent my time in worse way possible by watching that.

Tried reading Qur'an- headache! Doing Sajdah- headache!

Am I possessed or wt?

Masha Allah!! May Allah bless u guys for doing it!

But I wanted to ask-

Don't ppl stare at u? Today i was trying to look at the Persian Architecture done at a mosque closely,and damn! Look at the stares...🫠

Also, somebody sponser me man! I wanna visit too! 🥀😭

It's not like my eyes hurt or something... Idk why I'm getting headache while reading it. I could barely study for a hr even with breaks.

(Caffeine doesn't seem to work either)

I have Narayana Modules,Resonance modules, Inter material(Narayana's) ...

Where can I sell them all?

When I was overwhelmed,was scared of things,was angry at everything, when I kept on weeping- asking Allah to help me somehow.. she appeared.

Even my own sisters- wouldn't talk to me as much as she ever did. Listening to my issues,helping me and all that.

It's not like i never tried to leave her. I fought with her,left her.. and even prayed to Allah that if she is bad remove her but lemme know why she's bad so that my heart stays at peace,and if she's good let her be. I created a mess thrice and she ended up saying "don't talk to me then"- only to come back within a day or so. It happened 3 times. And since then I didn't try to leave her. All the 3 times,I asked Allah's mercy and asked something in return for leaving this ... But opp happened.

Till now I've received like ton of signs.. ik ppl say don't trust. But man,I can't believe all that happened are just coincidences.

She came when I was groaning in pain. And now? I've lost terribly in the life. I failed major tests and there's mess at my home rn. My mental health is at stake. Sometimes I feel like praying for my d*ath...

I was Abt to send a last msg to her few months back, ended up with almost getting hit on the road. Saw many coincidences.. on the way back.

I never met her,I never saw her and i never heard her. Yet somehow she was there

(Not at the right age to marry,and also idk if she even has feelings for me as such. I'm just someone who ppl could feel pity for)

Allah says in the Qur'an that he doesn't burden a soul with anything more than one can withhold. Perhaps I'm a sinner and this is my test,but I'm tired of these tests.

(Way too long to read)

I was born with health issues,then within few yrs i lost someone dear to me. I've changed from a person who would be forced to go to masjid to someone who goes without it now. Stayed away from my dad's fam for years only to realise now I can't get along with them. I moved in, it's been a yr so far yet i don't feel comfortable. I don't even have my personal room so that I can lock up.

My siblings? Others? Imagine this now:

U got two own sisters- one who cares abit but has kids which trouble often when they come (once every month for a week) who stays in t1 city. U have other sis who is kinda toxic who hated u whenever u came to ur dad's place and now expects u to take care of her new born and help her. U have a room where everything that belongs to u is there,but u need to give up the room every 2 weeks coz someone would come to stay for 2 days. I shift things to other room? Surprise- u will spot other family members ur uncomfortable with.

Then u got the relative who fed u for years, now calls u whenever they want. U can't reject their call or else it ruins family bonds.

Been a state topper(till highschool) till the time I stayed with my relative coz I didn't feel uncomfortable,had my own room, often I would live alone which I liked but it all came with a price- verbal abuse,physical abuse sometimes and ofc free labour even to lift a cup from the floor, no matter if the person is still young

Now that I think, i feel like perhaps my cousin should have str*ngled my neck much harder so that I atleast could live in peace.

Wt if u had health issues like low immunity,locked jaw disorder,dust allergy,conjunctivitis..etc - despite this I studied.

I moved here in 2025June and started my jee prep (was in 12th) and then it was way too hard to adjust,i would get furious,depressed coz it was much worse than how i lived. There was care,but somehow it felt uncomfortable. Thanks to someone,who helped me but things turned opp and soon by Jan 26,i got that depressed feeling back and i left my jee prep.

Painful for me to understand my life. I gave 8-12 hrs each day only to give up at last moment. Couldn't even qualify as i touched books just before 3 days (that too at relatives home coz it felt more tidy and comfortable) then boards me bhi interest nhi tha somehow I forced myself and did it.

Now Im thinking of drop.

Offline drop lu? My dad used all his savings in my sis preg and now idk how much we got. But I'm sure we don't evenhave 30k rn. I thought of going to Allen and stay with my elder sis (kinda caring but her kids won't let me study after reaching home & no separate room for me either) ... my dad is against pg.Shoukd I force my dad to take loan and send me? It's gonna be a burden right? Even to me...

Should i prepare for exam by doing online prep? But I'll have to take care of new born. Even if I go to library, my dad won't stay at home few days so I'll be forced to stay and my prep will be paused.

I thought if I get good rank in cet (state clg entrance) parents won't let me take drop so I didn't study but before cet I realized wt if jee isn't for me? I scored okay but not enough to get into t2 or t3 even. Just local clg me milega. I don't think I can do partial drop.

When I told the idea of drop- my sis told she won't be staying in t1 city all time... She will stay mon,tue and come back to take care of the baby.

If u have read till here, Jazakallah khair!

​

So,I made istekhara regarding choosing a clg. Actually I'm gonna take a drop. I was wondering whether i should join an institution or just study from online resources.

I made istekhara and asked my dad if he would allow me- he said ok but u gotta stay with ur sis (my sis lives in other town with her family and comes here every two weeks and stays here for few days)

My sis was preg, so my dad had to take care of these expenses too..currently there are no savings and probably my dad will have to ask someone. i thought I'll write scholarship test and reduce the fee somehow. But i couldn't register that day. When I tried to register now, the date is shifted to 17. It was today actually.

Now my dad barely has savings left and most probably he will have to ask ppl for it. I rly dk if i should indirectly force my dad to find money somehow.

And i made istekhara again coz I was hella confused, coz my sis and I planned to leave Monday morning and i would be taking demo classes from Tuesday. Noww suddenly the plan changed and my sis is telling we will go next week. I'll lose alot of classes by then.

Does this mean the institution isn't right for me?

​

So,I made istekhara regarding choosing a clg. Actually I'm gonna take a drop. I was wondering whether i should join an institution or just study from online resources.

I made istekhara and asked my dad if he would allow me- he said ok but u gotta stay with ur sis (my sis lives in other town with her family and comes here every two weeks and stays here for few days)

My sis was preg, so my dad had to take care of these expenses too..currently there are no savings and probably my dad will have to ask someone. i thought I'll write scholarship test and reduce the fee somehow. But i couldn't register that day. When I tried to register now, the date is shifted to 17. It was today actually.

Now my dad barely has savings left and most probably he will have to ask ppl for it. I rly dk if i should indirectly force my dad to find money somehow.

And i made istekhara again coz I was hella confused, coz my sis and I planned to leave Monday morning and i would be taking demo classes from Tuesday. Noww suddenly the plan changed and my sis is telling we will go next week. I'll lose alot of classes by then.

Does this mean the institution isn't right for me?

T3 me jaunga tab bhi regret hi hoga. Ab padhne baith rha hu to pata nhi kya horha hai. I can't do this

So,I made istekhara regarding choosing a clg. Actually I'm gonna take a drop. I was wondering whether i should join an institution or just study from online resources.

I made istekhara and asked my dad if he would allow me- he said yes but since it was kinda expensive.. I was hesitant.

My sis was preg, so my dad had to take care of these expenses too.. i thought I'll write scholarship test and reduce the fee somehow. But i couldn't register that day. When I tried to register now, the date is shifted to 17. It was today actually.

Now my dad barely has savings left and most probably he will have to ask ppl for it. I rly dk if i should indirectly force my dad to find money somehow.

Agar mere muqaddar me haasil karne ka tha hi nhi, to haasil karne layak banaya hi kyu?

Been a state ranker till 10th. Fir 11th me somehow got 4M less than top ranker.. and wrote improvements for it and got same as state topper.

Now comes 12th. I stopped going to schl. Everyday i would go to library to study since June. Had some depressing phase in June but that's the beginning.. i prayed for someone to leave so thaat I don't engage in haram,it hurt me alot coz she was the only one listening to my rant yet since it was haram,i left it. I somehow got help from Allah... Indeed Allah blesses us with something better. And haa aisa hi hua. Since then I was studying. Barely i slacked off for two weeks. Every month i would visit hospitals. Health issues never stopped. Somehow December Tak- I reached over 12hrs of study in single day. Hona kya tha? I lost the will to live. Felt to do nthng. Kuch nhi karna tha. I had jee but i didn't want to live at all. Why? Standard of living fell terribly. I couldn't get over how i used to live earlier. I couldn't even have a room for myself completely now. I'm sick of it.

Exam went terrible. Couldn't even qualify. Boards came. I didn't want to study again. Nthng excited me anymore. I accepted my fate... But somehow I studied last days and got alot good marks. Alhamdulillah,i thought I'll fail.

I never registered for other exams...coz I was obsessed with jee. My dad told me to write cet exam. It's within 2 days. No prep nthng. Reason? Fir wahi! Since Ramadan ended, I'm getting same thoughts. The same feelings of emptiness. I don't know wt got into me. I can't study. I don't want to live either. I hated cet exam coz I didn't want to live here further or even choose those clgs over other. But now I realised,I'm unfit for even the cet.

My frnd, who started prep during June same as me... Did alot better than me. Jee qualified, and now wrote cet and is constantly getting top rank. I'm not jealous of them rn. I'm thinking- why am I worried Abt the exam noww? Why am I getting the urge to study when I didn't even had the urge to live all these days?

Mann I got two options:

(1) I can stay at Shaikpet and leave the next morning... But how? I rly hate travelling through bus and does rapido even work?

(2) I'm staying at wgl,so I can leave early morning through cab? But at the max the guy would drop me at the ghatkesar toll, how do I reach Sreenidhi from there?

Mann I got two options:

(1) I can stay at Shaikpet and leave the next morning... But how? I rly hate travelling through bus and does rapido even work?

(2) I'm staying at wgl,so I can leave early morning through cab? But at the max the guy would drop me at the ghatkesar toll, how do I reach Sreenidhi from there?

Till now I've been online student. Notably,I found teachers of my frequency. But i realised I need to switch to offline in drop to get my potential. I forgot ton of concepts due to gaps and lack of revision.

I'll be going for demo classes soon. How do ik if the teacher is gonna suit me? Do I just go with the flow?

I'm actually thinking to take a drop for JEE. Initially i bought an online batch worth 15k (kinda expensive but uh). Now I realised that I can't rly study this way coz I feel uncomfortable living at my dad's place . ( For ref,I shifted to my dad after like 7yrs and here there's no personal room where no one could disturb me) I thought I'll manage but dk why I can't. I dont even want to go to library like i did last yr. I feel like I'll rather go for offline. Why?

+ Kinda toxic sis

+ Lack of personal space

+ Being uncomfortable with my stepmom and others

+ I fear that kids,relative would come often causing trouble.

Now the issue is- I have health issues and need to go for teeth removal and braces costing again some 15k ig. Now my dad earns like 8LPA. We are already in debt of 40k and probably even more. He doesn't say much. My sis preg is there and we could require atleast 1L? Or atleast 50K at any time which i beleive my dad saved.

Now in such circumstances,should I force my dad to take a loan for drop yr? It's gonna cost like 2L for whole yr including mess and everything.

I did online prep last yr during 12. I prayed prayers on time except fajr(I used to miss it often). I had managed alot well- carrying deen and dunia but i failed terribly. If i shift to offline... I'll be missing 2 prayers and gotta pray as Khaza.. that's one thing bothering me.