Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters. I hope you're all doing well and utilizing these first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah.
I've a question. I'm trying to fast all 9 days of Dhul Hijjah. But tomorrow, according to my country's time zone, is Friday, and I've heard that avoid fasting on Friday unless it's Ramadan's Friday.
Therefore, should I fast tomorrow?
Thanks in advance.
why there's people that are happy when we feel sad
Id rather d.e early even when im 20 which im gonna be 20 in a month 20 lol or juts in my 30s 40s or 50s nothing older than that no thank you.
And just having the wars going on and having people stress over it and also stress about what we eat "this is toxic that is toxic" i just dont give a flip anymore tbh if this or that causes cancer thamen amazing it means im d.ing early Alhumdulilah for that i just dont care anymore and wish to d.e early and just be close to my deen even tho its hard but yea my wish is to d.e early
I am struggling emotionally and am really hurt. I want my love of my life to return to me i miss him so much i am so heartbroken inside 😭💔 please make dua for our reconciliation 😭❤️ ill make dua for you too
F27. I’m talking to a guy who’s 6 years older than me (proposal through his parents), and honestly I’m struggling with the kinds of questions he asks. Things like *“How do you wind down?”, “What instantly makes your day better?”, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to experience?”* etc.
Maybe this is normal getting-to-know-you conversation, but to me it feels a bit superficial or forced, and I find these questions mentally draining to answer. This is the first proposal situation I’ve actually spoken to someone in, so I genuinely don’t know if this is just how it usually goes.
We haven’t even spoken on the phone yet, only texted. I’m also unsure whether I’m actually attracted to him.
He doesnt live in the country
Am I being unreasonable or just impatient?
I feel like im being mean for not wanting to continue.
Also worried cause i feel im running out of time cause age.
We kids are not servant. I myself was beaten with belts and thrown to the ground and have my head stamped over to the point of bleeding. How can they slap me.
Yes, in many of them it was completely my fault. But that STILL doesn't allow anyone to beat me, or any kids, SO MUCH. I know that the Prophet instructed to strike kids if they don't pray, but do you think he meant such high levels, or even medium level, of beating? According to those experienced in fiqh, he meant small reprimanding.
Moreover, allah instructed us to follow the rule of the land we live in. Beating is almost certainly not allowed in most (maybe all) countries. How is it so prevalent in Muslim households?
Ok, forget beating. Lets talk about calling your kids with abuses. I cannot describe what all I have been called. Why do you have to bring out my past sins IN FRONT OF MY SIBLINGS 3-4 YEARS LATER? Why do you have to have to call me disgusting names? The Prophet didn't allow this for ANYONE, contrary to striking kids when they don't pray.
I haven't been able to be a good child. But that doesn't allow infinite punishment
Please pray for everyone in such situations
Salam everyone,
I'm looking for 12 Android testers to help me push my app from closed testing to production on the Play Store. Google requires 12 testers opted in for 14 consecutive days, so consistency matters more than heavy usage.
What the app is:
Green Grass is a verified Muslim community app. Verification badges(gold for imams/masjids, green for masjid verified members, silver for family of green badges) keep the community accountable.
What I need from you
- Android phone, signed in to Google Play
- Opt in to the closed test and keep the app installed for 14 days
- Open it now and then for all 14 days, even just a few seconds counts toward Google's 14 day rule
- Feedback is welcome but not required
- Happy to return the favor and test your app, drop the link in a comment.
How to join
Reply or DM with your Gmail (the one tied to your Play Store account)
I'll add you to the tester list
I'll send you the app link
Thanks in advance.
30F from NYC and I genuinely don’t understand modern dating anymore 😭
Every single time I go outside, I get stared at, complimented, or catcalled. Men always assume I have some huge roster or that I’m constantly dating, but the reality is… I’ve literally been single my entire life 💀
I think people assume attractive women automatically have endless dating options, but attention and actual intentional approaches are two VERY different things.
Most of the attention I get feels surface-level, unserious, or just straight up awkwardness. I rarely experience men actually approaching with confidence, conversation, and genuine intentions.
And before anyone asks: no, I don’t want dating apps lol. I want to meet someone organically in real life.
The problem is I work remotely, I’m naturally introverted unless I’m comfortable, and I honestly don’t know WHERE people are meeting quality men anymore. Especially in NYC where everyone seems emotionally unavailable, scared to approach, or only looking for hookups.
So realistically:
Where do women in their late 20s/30s organically meet serious men these days?
Not club guys.
Not “wyd” texters.
Not men looking for a situationship.
I mean normal, confident, emotionally mature men between late 20s to early 40s who are actually intentional and not afraid to approach women respectfully in real life.
I’m a Black woman, 30, born and raised in New York, and honestly just tired of feeling isolated romantically and socially.
Any genuine advice is appreciated because I refuse to believe staying home and hoping my soulmate spawns into my living room is the solution 😭
My Mom is in a deep coma with severe brain injuries in ICU. It’s been 10 days. I have been praying, making dua and having surahs and Quran play in her room. Please make dua for to have meaningful recovery.
Assalamu alaikum everyone,
I'm a Muslim college student (male), currently finishing my second year. I have developed a very strong crush on a sister at my university who is one year older than me and will likely graduate before I do.
I want to emphasize that I do not want a haram relationship, a situationship, or even a talking stage for the sake of romance. I've only spoken to her twice, both times for study-related reasons. We exchanged a little information about ourselves, but that's all.
The problem is that my feelings have become very intense, and I don't know how to handle them Islamically. I would like to pursue marriage in the future if she were interested, but I am younger, still in college, and not yet financially established. Since she will graduate before me, I worry that waiting may mean losing the opportunity entirely.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? From an Islamic perspective, what would be the most appropriate and respectful course of action? Is there a halal way to express serious interest without entering into a dating-style relationship? Or is the correct approach simply to focus on my studies, make dua, and leave the matter to Allah until I am more prepared?
Jazakum Allahu khayran for any advice.
Al-Uḍḥiyah refers to the sacrificial animals slaughtered during the four days of ʿĪd al-Aḍḥā.
Sunnah: - Uḍḥiyah is a highly recommended Sunnah but not obligatory (wājib).
Refraining from Grooming:- Those intending to perform Uḍḥiyah should refrain from cutting their hair, nails, and any other part of their body from the start of the first ten days of Dhū al-Ḥijjah until they have performed the sacrifice.
Permissible Animals:- Only sheep, goats, cows, and camels can be used for Uḍḥiyah. No other animals are permissible.
Age Requirements:
- Sheep: 6 months or older
- Goats: 1 year or older
- Cows: 2 years or older
- Camels: 5 years or older
-Animals below these ages do not qualify for Uḍḥiyah.
Animal Quality:- Chosen animal should be healthy & free from defects. Sick, injured, or extremely weak animals are not acceptable for Uḍḥiyah.
Sharing in Sacrifice:- Up to seven people can share in the sacrifice of one cow or one camel. There is no sharing for sheep/goat.
Household Sufficiency:- One sheep is sufficient for the entire household, regardless of the number of members.
Distribution and Compensation:- None of the meat, skin, or parts of the Uḍḥiyah animal can be sold. The butcher should not be compensated with parts of the animal; instead, he should be paid separately.
Consumption and Charity:- It is recommended to eat from one's own Uḍḥiyah and give some as charity to the needy. However, it is permissible to keep all of it for personal use and storage.
Self-Slaughtering:- It is preferable for the person offering the Uḍḥiyah to slaughter the animal themselves.
Entrusting Others:- One can delegate someone else to perform the slaughter on their behalf.
Sending Uḍḥiyah Abroad: - It is permissible to send Uḍḥiyah abroad if it is deemed more rewarding or beneficial, especially if living in non-Muslim lands or where there are no needy Muslims.
Timing of Slaughter: - Udhiya must be slaughtered after the ʿĪd ṣalāh. Any animal slaughtered before the ʿĪd ṣalāh does not count as Uḍḥiyah.
How Many Days is it Permissible to Slaughter in: - Uḍḥiyah can be slaughtered for 4 days, the day of ʿĪd (10th) and the three days of tashrīq (11th, 12th and 13th).
Entrustee's Responsibility: - The person entrusted to perform the slaughter should do so after the ʿĪd ṣalāh of the person who entrusted them.
- It is not obligatory for the entrustee to refrain from cutting their hair or nails.
This (authentic) guide provides a concise overview of the key points regarding the rulings of Uḍḥiyah. (Share for sadaqah-e-jariyah)
Assalamualaikum, I want to start off by saying that I’m in a very difficult place and looking for any support I can get. I think what I need at this point is an outside perspective from you all. My heart isn’t agreeing to let this marriage go, but my in my mind I know it needs to eventually come to an end…..I’m hoping some outside input will help guide me , along with continuous prayer to Allah SWT to help me make the right choice.
I’m F 29 married 2.5 years to a man who is a hafiz. Our marriage has had a lot of ups and downs. My husband is a hafiz but he smokes weed continuously all day. He prays all his prayers, but smokes right before and after them. I myself am a “revert” of sorts who didn’t live an Islamic life, and I found my way back to the deen again a few years ago, let go of my haram lifestyle and wore hijab Alhamdulillah. I’m genuinely trying to do my best and get closer to Allah SWT. We had a semi arranged marriage, met through parents (sharing biodatas) and got along well when we spoke, and got married very quickly.
When we were getting ready to get married, he showed that he was ambitious and trying to have a good earning and would be hard working. His salary was less than half of mine (Alhamdulillah I make well over 6 figures) but I respected his character and him being a hafiz, so I overlooked the financial aspect. When we got married, he lost his job after a few months and was out of work for around 6 months. During that time I was managing the entire household (bills, food, rent, everything). He didn’t have his own car and we found out he didn’t have any savings, so my parents got him a car so he could use it to go to search for jobs in hopes of helping him get employed again. In that time he wasted a lot of time playing video games and saying he was applying to jobs, but I saw that he wasn’t putting a lot of effort into it. This whole time he was smoking weed. I’m ashamed to say he even got me started on the weed but I eventually retained the fear of Allah back in my heart Alhamdulillah and stopped for good.
He finally got a job but it’s still less than what is needed to help even do 50/50, and he says he is doing all he can. He wants me to pay for his gas to go to work and so such things because he cannot afford it…. When I tell him to try and apply for better opportunities he fights with me and gets abusive. He is so comfortable at a job where he cannot even fully support himself if we weren’t even together.
He also rubs my salary in my face ….. he continuously brings up me making 6 figures when I myself never talk about or allude to it at all. He constantly tells me I’m arrogant for my salary when I truly loathe working and would love to make $0 and stay at home if I had the option to. He also compares his job to mine and says he does a lot of hard work to earn his money while I don’t do anything at my job and am unfairly paid…. I am a project manager and oversee a large amount of scientific data and have a large team I manage. I never compare our jobs or say I do this or that….he is the one who compares and belittles me for my job and my pay.
When things are good we are like best friends, but he doesn’t want to listen to any input or feedback from me. He was abusive to me and put his hands on me multiple times, and I admit I have also been harsh with my tongue, but he hits me in my face and makes punching motions to me like he’s going to hit me. He calls me a horrible woman and says he spits on himself for marrying a woman like me. All I try to do is try to be a good wife and be pleasing to Allah SWT. I’ve also let go of my harsh words and have stopped fighting with him.
I tell him to try and stop the weed for the sake of Allah SWT and he says he may stop one day. He coughs all day everyday due to the weed and vape use and I just am getting fed up of it. For our anniversary or other events, he doesn’t make any effort, for example I told him I would love some flowers, and he didn’t bother with it. We had a good few months for the past few months but he recently punched and hit me again due to financial issues. He is having issues helping cover half the expenses and is telling me to pay since I’m making a large amount of money. I am getting tired of paying and drowning my savings and I think he should at least try to cover the bills and I have agreed to continue covering half the rent. I’ve changed myself a fair amount Alhamdulillah in this marriage and I’ve let go of a lot of dunya related things I used to take part in. I now mostly focus on my job, watching Islamic lectures and trying to get more knowledge of the deen. It seems like he is still on the same boat he was on, happy doing the bare minimum, expecting me to continue with covering more than half the base expenses and continuing with his smoking. I fear having children with him…. On one side I would love to have him teach them Quran as a hafiz but his bad habits scare me when I think of it rubbing off on my children.
He also passes out relatively often when we sit down together, he comes home, eats and will just dose off while he sits on the couch so we don’t spend much time quality time together. He says he’s working on bettering himself and wants me to be patient but him punching me continuously without any remorse, saying I’m a degraded woman and calling me all sorts of names, especially in months such as Dhul Hijjah and Ramadan make me think he will never change or have any realization.
He tells me he knows he’s lucky he got me, he would die for me and he values me. When things are good they are great, but when something doesn’t go his way or when his issues are brought up for a grown married adult discussion, everything goes south. He also acts as a hypocrite many times, he will call me the B word and if I say it back to him after losing all my patience’s he will come and slap me.
My parents have told me I’m wasting my time with him and I should leave while I’m young. I unfortunately have love for him in my heart as my husband and am finding it hard to make a decision. I also fear being alone for the rest of my life if I go through with a divorce. Alhamdulillah I take care of myself and used to be confident, but I now find myself questioning my worth and whether I’ll be able to have a family if I leave.
I am a successful woman, but due to my pre-revert lifestyle, I don’t have many Muslim sisters to talk to. I feel alone and confused and that is why I am coming here to get some of your feedback. Thank you in advance for your time and I apologize if this was all over the place as I have racing thoughts and bad ADHD. Jazakallah Khair
Im 25F and he's 30. He was Palestinian. We hit it off and we were both seemingly serious about marriage. Talked for a month and he promised right when my dad got out of the hospital he would ask for my hand without even seeing me in person since I told him I don't do that or date.
I told him we can as adults talk respectfully and if we align we can do things the halal way and my dad will allow you to meet me with his knowledge and a mahram.
I believed him....of course he couldn't stand it. He started becoming annoyed I don't facetime him...I told him I wanted to sstay away from fitnah and it's not osmehting I can do without there being something more offical.
He started pulling away...then there it was. I was blocked. When I asked him why he blocked me and played me like that, he said he never wanted to see or hear my voice again and that I disgust him...I was hurt and cried a lot. My friend knew. She's nonmuslim. She added him on snapchat and wanted to see how his character is to give me the closure I needed (I didn't ask her to).
I sat next to her ballling and she showed me. He right away flirted with her like crazy. He then told her "he is down for whatever with her" "are you looking for something real or just a hookup"....this man was out here commiting zina openly and freely.
I dodged a bullet. But it hurt.
I commented on a post replying to a woman struggling with something and wallah the fact I had 5 men dm me in the span of 7 minutes was disgusting.
What’s wrong with you people? Are you not ashamed? Do you not fear Allah?
A woman speaking about loneliness, emotional struggle, or replying to another post is not an invitation for YOU random men to enter her DMs. Especially in an Islamic space where people are supposed to feel safe being vulnerable without ulterior motives attached to it and It’s honestly disappointing seeing how quickly some of you take a sister opening up as an opportunity instead of lowering your gaze and respecting boundaries.
And before anyone says “they were probably trying to help”, please be serious. Anyone over the age of 13 knows exactly what they were trying to do. There is a difference between publicly giving advice for the sake of Allah and rushing to privately message someone after finding out they were a woman.
Some of you genuinely do not realise how predatory it comes across. A sister could speak about loneliness, friendship struggles, mental health, or insecurity in ANYYYYYY (even subreddits created just for women that somehow men have managed to enter) thread and within minutes random men appear trying to start private conversations. It’s uncomfortable and it pushes women away from speaking openly in Muslim spaces at all.
Fear Allah and learn boundaries. Not every woman online is an opportunity for you.
Throw away account. Salam, I met this brother online, he seems genuine and a good, honest man. We are in the early stages of getting to know each other but he seems serious about marriage and I don’t think he’s playing games. He was honest with me and told me he was in a relationship with another women for a few years, she was not Muslim and they broke up for that reason. He did mention what he did to her was not nice (I think he meant being with her and eventually ending things because of religion) Doing the math he was about 20/21 when they dated and 23/24 when they broke up.
I was looking at his social accounts and found a woman in a few of his old likes on fb I assumed it was the ex and I was correct. I ended up stalking her accounts and found she made quite a few posts about him. Some were couple posts but some were her venting about him, telling her followers how he broke up with her (email then blocked), a few red flags he had etc etc. It kinda contradicts what he’s showing me and what she’s posting online. I do want to get to know him more but also was wondering if I should reach out to the ex to hear her side of the story? Obviously not now but if things progress with him and we move forward I would like to know what he did that made her make these posts.
For the sisters out there if your exes new potential partners reached out to you asking about him would you find it weird? I personally wouldn’t find it weird unless she messaged me with bad intentions but if a sister asked me genuinely how is this man I would answer with complete honesty whether I have good or bad things to say.
Tldr: New potential seems good with green flags, his ex gf posts questionable stuff online about him. Wanted to know if it would be a good idea to reach out to her to hear her side of the story once me and him are a bit more established.
Hello!
I ship out to Army Basic Training, but have had a change of heart towards Islam after years of fighting it, I finally want to take Shahada and officially revert! I’ve met many Muslims in my RSP (pre-training drill), and they’ve definitely aided my journey!
I won’t be able to visit the Masjid near me, and the only time I’ll have in the next 6-months will be during Basic Training and AIT (OSUT).
I want to learn how to pray ASAP, and understand the basics of Islam ASAP as well. I’m unsure of the days of Muslim worship during Basic (Sunday? Friday? Non-Muslims and those interested allowed?).
I’ll be at Ft Sill (Oklahoma), if anyone has experience going through this any guidance would be greatly appreciated!
I’ve heard of the view (although it is in the minority) that maniy is not najas. Can I adopt this view. It’s making my life a lot more difficult in many ways because I consider it najas and making me m\*sturbate a lot more and waste time in the morning waiting for it to clear, changing clothes etc. I’m missing prayers and losing sleep/routine destroyed over it also. I ask here because no way am I asking an imam this type of question, it would be extremely embarrassing to do so.
The age of Lady Aisha
Alsalamu alaikum, I looked into the matter of Aisha’s age. Some people say she was at least 19 while others say according to the hadith that she was nine.
I understand that marriage practices were different in the past, but I don’t think that something being commonly practiced in earlier times necessarily makes it morally right.
And how can the actions of the Prophet be suitable for every time and place? Is it normal nowadays for a 54-year-old man to be married to a 9-year-old girl?
My question is not meant as an attack at all. I see the Prophet as the greatest man in the world.
I just want, if you have any thoughts, to share them with me on this matter so I can feel reassured
No matter what sorrow reaches me, no matter how overwhelmed I am, no matter what intense emotions befall me, I just can't send to let a tear loose.
I physically cannot cry anymore. After years of conditioning, my heart st stone cold and hard as sapphire. I feel emotion but I struggle to release it. This itself pains me further and takes a toll upon my mind and body. I feel not much emotion in reciting the Quran, I cannot bring myself to cry even when repenting to the Lord of the worlds
I don't know what to do, how be softhearted human anymore. Help me
Assalamu Alaikum good folks. I'm(20M) planning to come to Palo Alto, California for a 2-week summer program at Stanford University. Now the thing is, I've never travelled to any other western country nor have I ever NOT use a water jet spray/bidet while pooping.
The hotel I'm gonna be staying over isn't likely gonna have one. So, I'm planning to buy a cheap portable water bidet. Could you guys please suggest me one that I can buy off amazon or something? Preferably it's nothing fancy or too expensive, as I'll only stay here temporarily & will go back once the program is over.