r/MuslimLounge

Im really curious whats going in the minds of muslim men who post their wife/sister/mother online. What do you get from this. The first reason why Muslim women are being liberal/feminist is men who lost their geerah.
Recently some telegram groups has been exposed who fetishes hijabi women, users will post muslim women and the admin or someone will digitally remove their clothes. When devils like these exist, how could you post your women online.

If you are one of them, Fear Allah ya akhi, you will be questioned about your women

Like genuinely why they think it is okay to trauma dump on women. It can be literally any man thry just complain and want to be a victim. Honestly I want to know from men. I don't intend any harm or mocking I'm genuinely curious to understand.

Please make dua for my sick kitten that I reacued. The kitten has fvp and is very tiny we took him to the vet who told us to only give him drips and no food for the next 6 days . It's extremely heartbreaking to see my baby in such a weak and painful condition the only thing I can do is take him to the vet and pray. Please please please make dua that he will be okay in the next hours. May Allah accept all ur prayers. Please keep him in ur duas

Indeed, you ˹O Prophet˺ are not responsible whatsoever for those who have divided their faith and split into sects. Their judgment rests only with Allah. And He will inform them of what they used to do.(6:159).

According to authentic Hadith, the prophet explicitly said this saved group is the main body or the "Jama'ah". There is no saved sect.
It was narrated from ‘Awf bin Malik that the Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said:

.
“The Jews split into seventy-one sects, one of which will be in Paradise and seventy in Hell. The Christians split into seventy-two sects, seventy-one of which will be in Hell and one in Paradise. I swear by the One Whose Hand is the soul of Muhammad, my nation will split into seventy-three sects, one of which will be in Paradise and seventy-two in Hell.” It was said: “O Messenger of Allah, who are they?” He said: “The main body.”.
Grade: Hassaan.
Ibn Majjah 3992.

I apologize for the long post, I just need someone help.

i'm struggling with the hijab. i've been wearing it for 4 years but i still don't think of myself as a hijabi. i never had an epiphany or was forced to wear hijab, i just wore it the first day i started university because it felt like a "fresh start", and because it was an obligation i had to fulfill. over the past few years, i've lost so many job opportunities because of it. even my sister who was a hijabi for 8 years was turned down from two coffee shop jobs, the employers said "will that get in the way of making coffee" and "i have to ask hr about if you can wear that" nevertheless my sister kept wearing it and i know whatever isn't meant for you will pass you and Allah swt will give more opportunities, but it's really hard to deal with this, for reference we live in Florida. after 8 years my sister took it off, no one in our community other than older aunties that all started recently wears the hijab, only the two of us, but now my sister doesn't even wear it and it's made my struggles amplified because i'm the only one. i know i wear the hijab for myself and Allah swt, but it still feels unbearable sometimes. I've always been modest, even before the hijab, I've never even worn short sleeves. I just randomly wore the hijab one day as a fresh start. But these days sometimes the hijab makes life so difficult and also gives me insane sensory issues to the point with it makes me resent the hijab and islam sometimes. Over time, I've started feeling like I am doing enough sacrifice by wearing the hijab and I've stopped praying as consistently. Before the hijab, praying was all that made me feel muslim and now being visibly muslim, I feel like I'm doing enough sacrifice, but i KNOW i'm not. I want to pray and get closer to Allah swt and islam again, I've been making efforts everyday to get more consistent again but the hijab issue haunts me everyday.

I know I want to wear the hijab again, but I'm scared to take it off and die before I get the opportunity again. I just want to focus on my religion without external pressures. I also feel like if i take it off, the religious guilt will eat me alive and I'm scared of going to hell so I keep wearing it. But day by day the resentment gets harder sometimes. I also work about 70 hours a week and it gives me headaches and ear pain, I even tried wearing wig grips and headbands or no undercap to lessen the pain, but the sensory issues are so much sometimes. I'm so torn, I just want a break to focus on my religion and get back to the hijab. But i know people outside don't view it that way, I also know it'll disappoint my mom with both of her daughters taking it off and I don't want to hurt her. It just feels like these days I'm wearing it for the wrong reasons.

i've tried so many styles, colors, materials, it all feels the same. it's not even how i look with it on, i know i'm prettier with it off but i've never been one to care too much on how i look. it's just exhausting wearing it no matter what, for 5 minutes to leave the house, for 70 hours at work. sometimes i feel like whats even the point in taking it off if im already 22 and about to graduate university, what more is there after this? but i feel worried that my attachment to the hijab and intention behind it isnt even there anymore and i just keep it on bc im scared of the consequences but i dont feel attached to it anymore. I'm not sure I'll end up taking it off, i dont know if i can handle the guilt, sometimes I wish i hadn't put it on because I feel like if I take it off Allah swt will punish me and take everything good in my life. I don't know what to do i'm so lost, I've researched for months and asked so many older people but they'll never tell me anything other than keeping it no matter what. I just want someone to acknowledge my struggles sometimes.

Any tips and suggestions are appreciated.

Sometimes in our lives things happen where it shakes us, breaks us and makes us turn to Allah.

Sometimes you get an epiphany and question yourself ‘what have I been doing in all my free time?’

Some people have dream about themselves thinking it was real.

So my question is in the title.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

I've been having a really tough time, making dua, and sometimes I even wake up with a tight chest. Could you please make dua for me to get back what I lost? It was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and this struggle has been going on for 62 days now. Strangers dua is always accepted to please help me

Sometimes I get so lonely. I do like being alone but I also really wish I had a person I could open up to almost like I'm thinking out loud with them. It makes me wonder if this emptiness is actually means that I should get closer to Allah?

I am 18 right now, I left when I was 15, and now, I have done lots of contemplation, and I just feel no internal peace. I just want to get back to it, but i have so many doubts, they never get cleared.

anyways, I don't know if it is the right decision, but I'd like to discover more. I'd like to revert back. I have doubts still, I am not a hypocrite, I just want to learn more. I've been wrong about a lot of things in my life, I want to put my ego aside, and give it another chance.

i hope it makes sense.

I’m F27. I’m looking for genuine advice from men. Unfortunately my father had passed away, and there isn’t any male adult in my family who can help me from their experience.

I’ve met an amazing human being at work & we have involved our families but we were talking to each other and initially everything was perfect. The salah, the motivation of him working hard for future and also, his commitment to get better at health/fitness and I had a belief and positivity that this is going to be the best decision for me.

But as a few months passed, I saw lack of efforts. He is extremely kind, sweet with me but I’m an ambitious woman who had worked very hard in my life. I have savings, investments for my future, working on myself in terms of religiosity, professionally as well as personally. I go to gym. I am continuously working on expanding my business. This constant hustling in my life comes from seeing financial issues at my home due to which I worked very hard to change the quality of my life.

I had never dated or seen a good man that leads up to marriage, but then I met him. After talking to him about his goals and all, he specifically shared how he would like to take up religious studies in a few years because he wants to learn about Islam, plus I saw and noticed his demeanor at work. Very respectful. Prays. Talks softly & seemed like a good decent working man.

When I say lack of efforts, I don’t mean he doesn’t work. But our energies are very different. He’s okay doing minimal effort at work despite of him not having savings, his place, any car or even sometimes he struggles to pay his bills which breaks my heart for him but it puts me in an extremely dangerous situation where I despite showing interest to him for marriage.

He doesn’t go to gym, financial reasons are there. He doesn’t want to change his jobs due to bad experiences in past. He also doesn’t want to move countries. He also smokes heavily which initially I was aware but not the frequency of it.

He has improved his efforts when I communicated that I cannot marry if my needs are not met, he started making efforts but I personally feel he’s not being smart about it all. He also doesn’t prefer to put himself out.

Now being in business all of these skills are important. Now comes the main confusion, he is a very good human being when I say it, I mean he has consideration, empathy & kindness for human beings. He’s humble & down to earth. He has this delusional positivity that Allah tallah provides but sometimes It annoys me because I feel that’s a disguise to not work harder.

He also doesn’t pray anymore. It’s been months. I do also skip my salah sometimes but It’s never months. Plus, he uses credit card to meet my expectations sometimes or please me which is not a good thing.
Because I don’t want to have my needs met likr this but in a respectful manner.

I’m confused because as a south asian woman coming from experiences with bad men around my community and personal life, I also want to hold onto a person who’s kind to me but I’m afraid if he is able to provide for me or even take up responsibilities. I’m okay with helping him out but I don’t want to be naive in a way that I keep helping a man to build himself and mother him to become someone strong.

I have also done istikhara a lot of times, and trust me I know Istikhara isn’t about dreams and symbols but each time I did Istikhara, I continuously saw bad dreams in a row involving him.

He expects me to give him time which I did and now I want to just take a decision and move on with my life. I feel guilty if I say no and scared because I genuinely connects with this person but our values don’t align anymore & that scares me.

I’m extremely scared of marriage and even divorce because again, I feel It will break me if it doesn’t come out as I expected dur to my past traumas.

Am I being too negative anxious due to his less ambitious energy? Am I being extremely judgemental and harsh as no human being is perfect. Any advice will be helpful.

Bismilllah. I’m gonna start this off by saying I support women being financially independent. Not all advice can be applied to all women but this one where I strongly believe that as a woman you need a source of income somehow. That being said, women cannot do it all. Also, it goes without saying that this does not apply to all Muslim parents.

I hate the fact that as I’m typing this out, I feel like there’s gonna be men ready to argue with me. However this is not your place to express your issues.

Growing up I never really had an issue with family, I was one of those people that loved to think “family first!” Now that I’m in my 20’s, things have changed.

I am often irritated, I lack the sabr to speak with patience and to brush things off. It’s not good to be like that as a Muslim but it truly feels like my family members trigger me day in day out. I’m living within a “mixed” family. One of my parent’s siblings, my own sibling and their spouse, they all live with us. Even though this home does not have enough space.

I was sold a lie that daughters are doted on, that daughters are so special, yet I feel like I’m put 2nd place when it actually matters. I have a job that requires a quiet place so I can wfh, yet I got the small room. When I say small, I mean small. I cannot fit a required desk in here and a chair in addition to the other furniture. Others often are using the bathroom or kitchen, no place besides my bedroom feels like I can be ok in it. Someone is in the way or they find a way to bug me.

I know I’m not allowed to say this but I sometimes feel “failed”? I reflected why I feel such strong emotions, why I’m so mad about all of this and I suspect I had some unconscious expectations about my life. “I’m the daughter, I thought I had a right to live freely with you.” I was foolish enough to think that I would be put in first place, instead of my sibling or my parent’s sibling. My parents aren’t bad people and they didn’t abandon me. It just feels like they didn’t choose my peace and future when it mattered, in the long run. That’s what is bothering me.

My father has worked very hard his entire life and I’m not here to dismiss that. If anything, that hurts more. He works hard but the environment my parents have allowed to form within our home, is overshadowing the sacrifices he made. That’s very bad to say, I know that. However my limit has been reached.

I most likely have hormonal issues and sometimes I look at my home environment wondering whether the stress it gives me, is worsening my health. My parents speak of marriage but I feel like I’m not gonna become marriage worthy while I’m living at home. It worries me. I want to be a patient, kind wife but the past year in this home has legit brought out the worst version of me.

I don’t want to blame others time and time again but how am I supposed to keep my calm when I don’t feel protected by the people who are supposed to do that.

Last night I feel like I reached a limit. Someone in the extended family sent out a video of a relative who’s normally a hijabi, but without her hijab on. They sent it to non mehrams, some men in the family know this but their reaction was so disappointing. Imagine having the option to delete those pics but you decide against it in the moment cause it will become an issue right now. Later, they say. I feel disgusted with the lack of gheerah. I feel disappointed how I am asked to contribute to the house/ bills earlier than my sibling was expected to. I am the daughter but where are the mehrams that are supposed to stick up for me?

I have seen my extended relatives being prioritized. I have seen my parents spend money on less important matters when our house looks an absolute mess. I rarely ask my parents to buy me anything, to take me anywhere. Comparison is the thief of joy, I know. However I cannot help but look at other women sometimes and see them, relaxed, happy. They don’t feel like they’re half a man. The men in their life spend on their wants. I don’t have that. I spend on my wants. I take myself out to restaurants, I buy myself the makeup, the wants and needs.

I am gonna move out in Sha Allah. I can’t live here and be happy. I can’t sacrifice my life and health for people who don’t put me first. My question: any woman who’s been in a similar environment and moved out, how do you deal with the resentment? And how do you uphold your ties of kinship without it ruining you peace? How has moving out improved your life? JazakAllah Khair

This is simply a friendly reminder... as one of the best things I have done for myself by the Grace of Allah is to delete those apps and not worry about such presence in the first place.

We Muslims are far exalted than such lowly stimulation, and that energy & time is supposed to be dedicated to lecture hours, learning your religion under the shuyukh (whether online or in-person), reading the Qur'an, even developing a beneficial skillset.

May Allah bless you all, just a friendly warning.

Salam alaikum, I'm a uni student and I really need some advice because I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. We see patients in clinic with certain supervisors, and two of them for some reason are so rude. I don't know if this is normal but they talk to me with an attitude, are disrespectful, are not informative at all and I honestly dread going to uni because of them. When I ask questions to learn they reply back arrogantly and dont even answer my question, they just try to humiliate me, in front of patients. It's not a one time thing too, its happened soo many times last semester and now this semester too. And I noticed these same supervisors laugh with people from their same race and only do this with me, not sure if its because I wear hijab or what. My confidence is shattered and I'm also a bit sensitive and a big people pleaser and I always feel sooo sad coming back home from uni. Whenever something happens I keep on replaying the scenario in my head and I lose sleep and appetite over it. I usually also stress the day before I have one of these supervisors I really dont like uni because of this and it shouldnt be this way 😔😭

A woman is interested in a man for marriage. They know of each other but don’t talk or have any kind of relationship. The woman is friends with the man’s sister, so she asks the sister if she could ask her brother whether he’d be interested in considering marriage.
Would you see this as respectful and mature, or would you think it makes the woman look desperate or lowers her value?

33M | Pakistani | Bay Area, California | 5’11”

Assalamu Alaikum!

Figured I’d give Reddit a shot because if algorithms haven’t found my wife yet, maybe actual humans will.
I’m originally from Pakistan and moved to California last year. I have a background in Computer Science and I’m currently pursuing my Master’s in Artificial Intelligence & Machine Learning while working. Before that, I spent several years building businesses in IT and startups. I enjoy creating things from scratch. Turns out that’s easier than finding someone who replies with more than “lol.”

I’d describe myself as ambitious but fairly low maintenance. I enjoy meaningful conversations, random late-night drives, discovering good food, and chai that’s actually worth the caffeine. I’m equally happy discussing AI, business ideas, why biryani should never have raisins, or planning a spontaneous weekend trip.

Faith is important to me, not just as a label but as something I try to practice. I’m far from perfect, but I’m intentional about growing and becoming a better Muslim and a better person.

Family means a lot to me. Both of my parents have passed away, but Alhamdulillah I’m blessed with a close-knit family. I have three brothers in finance, medicine, and tech, and one sister, so there’s never a shortage of opinions or WhatsApp notifications.

What I’m Looking For

I’m looking for someone who’s kind, educated, grounded in her deen, and emotionally mature. Someone who’s confident without needing to prove it, enjoys good conversations, communicates openly, and doesn’t think every disagreement is the end of the world.

I appreciate someone who takes care of herself, values cleanliness, and has a natural sense of humor. I admire people who are curious, thoughtful, and excited about building a life together rather than just checking boxes.
I’m here because I genuinely want to get married. Not looking for endless talking stages or collecting matches. If we get along, great. If not, I sincerely hope you find exactly what you’re looking for, insha’Allah.

P.S. If your idea of a heated debate is whether chai should come before or after dinner… we’ll probably get along just fine.

Assalamu Aleikum,

I obviously know that taking part in any sort of LGBT activity is wrong because Allah said it is and He knows best. But is there any reason outside of Islam why it may be a bad thing for humans to engage in? Are there any logical reasons why someone may oppose LGBTQ? For instance maybe it can lead to long-term mental issues and make them develop distaste for living a traditional lifestyle of having kids and raising them, since two men obviously can't have children. I would be grateful for even one answer to my question. Jazakhallah khair.