r/Sufism

Salaam everyone :)

So basically I’m Sunni and I’m open to marrying another Sunni. I’m also open to a Zaydi Shia, and I’ve recently been considering Sufis too.

I’m not open to Ahmadi, Salafi, Twelver/other Shia groups, Alevi, etc. because I don’t think the theological/practical differences would work for me personally in marriage. I’m not looking to debate that part though 😭

My actual question is about how Sufis view descendants of the Prophet (saw).

My family lineage is recorded back through Imam Husayn, Imam Ali and Sayyidah Fatimah to the Prophet (saw), through Ali Zayn al-Abidin after Karbala. Historically, my ancestors also had major titles, social status, lots of power, wealth and influence given to them simply because they were directly tied to that lineage (it’s apparently recoded lol)

And to be completely honest, I personally don’t like the idea of hereditary status carrying that much weight 💀
I can respect the historical significance of Ahl al-Bayt without believing that someone deserves extra social power, spiritual status or special treatment simply because of who their ancestors were. I didn’t do anything to earn my ancestry 😭

So when I hear things like:
- descendants of the Prophet should be treated with extra deference
- being good to them is somehow like being good to the Prophet
- upsetting or insulting them is especially serious because of their lineage
- their du’a may be more accepted
- people should give them special honour or social precedence

I’m just not comfortable with that being brought into my marriage. AT ALL 💀

I want a husband with a strong personality who can disagree with me, challenge me, call me out when I’m wrong and treat me like a normal human being 😭 I absolutely do not want someone putting me on a pedestal because of my ancestry or feeling intimidated by the fact that I’m a ‘Husayni Sayyida’.

So for Sufis: how common are these beliefs actually?
Is this mainly associated with certain tariqas, cultures or regions, or is strong reverence for Sayyids pretty widespread across Sufi communities?

If I were considering marrying a Sufi, is this something I would need to screen for individually, or are there particular traditions where this kind of attitude is much more likely?
I’m completely fine with someone loving and honouring Ahl al-Bayt. I just don’t personally believe ancestry alone should make someone socially or spiritually superior, and I wouldn’t want that dynamic in my marriage 💀

So basically, help me understand where this sits within Sufism so I can work out whether I’d be compatible with Sufis generally, only certain tariqas/types of Sufis, or whether this would just be too much of a worldview difference for me in marriage.

Context for anyone who cares:

Part of why I’m asking is because I recently spoke to a Sufi guy who was honestly amazing on paper 😭 Lovely, 10/10 attractive 💀, from a filthy-rich and very influential Pakistani family with a documented Sufi tradition going back around 700 years, including generations of Sufi music/nasheeds and even connections to Imran Khan (not that I care lol 😭). But from the way he spoke about Ahl al-Bayt, I genuinely felt like if I told him I’m descended from the Prophet (saw), he’d start putting me on a pedestal or seeing me as somehow spiritually superior. That gave me the ick so badly I just couldn’t get past it, so I ended things without ever telling him the reason 💀

Salaam brothers and sisters. Does anyone have any recommendations for legitimate Islamic prayer apps that do not track or sell our data?

I recall hearing about a scandal last year about a popular app that ended up selling user data to the US government, which is insane! After reading about that, I deleted all my apps and went old school.

I’m just looking for something simple and basic: accurate prayer time announcements for my local area and maybe a Qibla checker for when I’m traveling. Nothing fancy.

Can the dhikr of Jamaali Divine names make people in general more attracted towards you? I'm asking this question because ever since I started doing dhikr of Jamaali names like Yaa Wadudu Yaa Rahmanu together in combination I've noticed that my interactions with people are more friendlier than before like whenever I see people they smile at me and even sometimes greet me abit more easily than before also another thing I've noticed is that i sometimes cry and have tears whenever I do dhikr of these names because when I do them i begin to remember past mistakes that might have happened and that causes the tears to come up it's like a surge of emotions and i feel a electric like vibration in my body before I begin to feel tear up, I'm not bragging in any way just was curious as to what these things indicate if someone has experienced this can you please guide me as to what this is?