r/confession

So around age of 9 or 10 i was exposed to a lot of shit which kids shouldnt be and some things i understood were right and wrong, but some things i did not, i didnt even fully understand what was sexual assault so i used to live in a building and we had a new family in this next apartment abd thier kid used to come play and she was really younger than me and i used to play with her like how you usually would then one day i saw another kid hit her and say mean shit AND I DONT KNOW what went in my head i just started doing same shit, thing is i dont remember what i did, i just remember hitting her, pulling her pants down (i never touched her istg) because for me pulling the pants down meant humiliation so i did that, since i dont remember half the terrible things i did to her i dont also remember how it ended i've forgotten half my memories actually, i pray everyday for her safety and that she becomes so happy in her life nothing should ever hurt her. Just wanted to get it off my chest i think this will always haunt me and it should i dont want forgiveness i just hope she is safe

And yes i grew up and matured and then suddenly remembered this horrible stuff i did to a child now i just try to help someone going through all this best as i can

i really don’t know how this all started but I’ve been doing it for a while. I live in a pretty large city and the trains are packed during rush hour. You’re pretty much guaranteed to be pressed up against other people. Even though I have nowhere to go, sometimes I just get the urge to ride it anyways. I’ll go in a tight crop top or a low cut shirt and if I’m lucky I’ll feel an older man’s hand grabbing at me when he thinks nobody can see. It happens most times I go. I know it’s dangerous and a really bad idea, but nothing else gives me a thrill like this does.

I had an affair with a much much older big big woman and now it seems that's all I want as a sex partner. Anyone ever had a thing like this?

Bonjour mon but ici est de me sentir moin seul, j'ai 27 ans et je souffre d'hypersensibilité, du syndrome de l'abandon, je suis en couple libertin depuis 6 ans(mon homme est quelqu'un d'exceptionnel et avec lequel je me sent le mieux sur cette planète

Pourtant je suis à mon apogée de ma dépression... Et récemment un ex sexfriend d'il y a dix ans et moi nous reparlions mais la je viens de voir qu'il m'avait bloqué sur la seule réseau sur lequel on parler et je suis perdu, comment passer à autre chose... Ma psychiatre m'a elle aussi abandonné parce que je suis arrivé en retard au rendez vous et ne me l'a même pas dit en face et d'autre truc... Je pleure tout le temps je me sent tellement seule et abandonné... Alors que je suis en couple me dirais vous... Comment y faire face... Tout m'énerve je veux sans cesse plaire je ne me supporte plus je dort si mal et je suis extrêmement tendu et fatiguée

🙂

Ma meilleure amie et moi nous connaissons depuis 11 ans,on se complète,se comprend et s’aime mais y’a une chose par rapport a laquelle il m’arrive de la regarder avec mépris…
Elle est très populaire avec les garçons et c’est compréhensible,c’est une jolie filles qui est vraiment très gentille mais en tout elle n’a été en couple qu’une fois et avant de dire quoique se soit je tiens à dire que je ne suis pas dans une situation de jalousie car je suis nullement intéressé par les relations amoureuse.Son problème c’est qu’elle se laisse trop faire,il y’a un garçon qui est amoureux d’elle et bien qu’elle l’ai rejeté elle a proposé qu’ils restent amis.Ils se taquinent souvent mais par là je veux dire il la taquine.Mais c’est pas n’importe quelle petit jeux,il la frappe de temps en temps (rien de bien violent mais assez répétitif pour qu’une de nos professeure l’engueule pour ça).Il lui vole son téléphone assez souvent (pendant parfois 30 minutes) et la critique des fois en disant qu’il plaisante (des trucs comme ah t’es petite ou t’a grosse tête..).Il y’en a un autre,lui il est pas amoureux,c’est juste un gros pervert qui lui fais des commentaires cachés ou lui dit des fois en face des chose très déplacé.Le problème c’est qu’elle ne voit pas qu’en réalité elle se ridiculise (lorsqu’elle est face à des situations avec le premier mec elle se plie souvent à lui,se laissant faire frapper,voler son téléphone,ce qui fait que les autres le voit lui comme un dominant et elle comme une soumise) J’ai déjà essayé de lui en parler mais elle n’a jamais réellement fait quelque chose contre.
Le pire c’est que souvent on est que nous deux et après l’autre relou vient et elle rentre dans son délire ce qui me laisse moi souvent seule sur le côté.
Qu’auriez vous fait à ma place ?

I'm a 23 year old trans FtM and I've only ever been sexually attracted to women(as far as I can tell). I am now on HRT and can pass as a cis man on a good day.

I was raised in a religious Christian household and my father is a pastor, that among other things had lead me to repress my true self. I was more of a tomboy in high-school and because I was afraid my family would disown me for being attracted to girls, I'd date boys or say I had a crush on one just to have proof that I was "normal".

At 14 I met this guy at school because of our mutual interest in Anime and Manga. He was a year older than me. We hit it off as friends quickly and despite being in different year levels and classes we'd find time to hangout and talk about Anime we watched that week. My younger self thought he was a really odd boy, in a good kind of way. I thought he was cool and interesting. So, when he asked me to go to prom with him, I said yes. Our dynamic tho never really felt... normal? Our friends would always say something like how I'm more of a boy and he's more like a girl when we're together. That alone gave me immense gender euphoria.

I didn't feel like i had to pretend around him and I confided with him about how I didn't really feel like I was in the right body. In turn, he told me about his somewhat secret "persona". He didn't have any social media account as himself, but what he did have was an FB account as a crossdresser with a girl name and everything. He didn't show me the pictures of himself cross dressing because he felt that would be too vulnerable, be he showed me some makeup, outfits and wigs he'd bought for crossdressing. It made sense to me that he'd be interested in that because he'd recommend me a lot of anime with male characters who crossdresses. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme with him.

I forgot to mention that we progressed from beings friends to him admitting he was interested in me and I'd just let it happen coz what else was I supposed to do? We weren't dating but it was a close thing. Anyways here comes the nsfw part. At some point prom was over and he was graduating jr high and probably would be leaving our small town. We'd text almost every day on summer and it led to like some Phone sex or whatever. I'd just roll with it but I wasn't really interested... Not until he'd say shit like he wanted my dick inside him. Sometimes he'd send a long message about how he's wearing a skirt and how much he'd like me to fuck him while wearing it. At this point I HADN'T EVEN REALIZED I WAS TRANS YET. As far as I knew, i was just a girl who hated herself for having a body that meant she can't be with other girls.

I found myself being into this, whatever it even was. It confused the heck out of me because he'd say things like he'd spread he's legs like a girl for me. It didn't even matter that I had imagined him exactly the way he was, in a mini skirt, badly applied wig, flat chest, and a dick under there. Just the thought that I was a man in this scenario he thought up made me actually aroused.

I didn't know how to deal with my own emotions at that time but it bothered me that I allowed myself to feel the way I did. So I cut him off. I sent him a text about never contacting me again and how he was weird and that it was stupid for him to assume I would actually be interested in his oddities. I said some mean things about him probably being gay and judging him for his effeminate interests. That part I regret the most.

I never heard from him again, aside from that one time his mom tried to reach out to me. Now I'm 23 and I've only dated women ever since. I came out as trans at 20, before that everyone just assumed I was a lesbian. But anyone I know after jr high would never believe I used to date boys.

Sometimes at night I'd wonder where he is now and if he still remembers me and what I said. I wish I could apologize for that. I also wonder how he'd react to me being trans now, thank him for planting that seed of curiosity in my head. I did try to search him on social media but I've long since forgotten his surname and even if he has a unique name I don't think he's using that one since it won't show up anywhere. Or maybe he's had me blocked which I won't fault him for doing.

Went out to watch a sports game. Had various beer myself. Ended up talking with some lady who was in early 40s. Hinting at me then ending up inside their car. I was kinda sketched out but seemed safe at the end. Well we hooked up and it was pretty awesome I won’t lie. I don’t ever hook up with anyone from the bar tbh. But man I’m all bruised up from bite and scratch marks. It went on for 2-3hours

So here's some back story: My wife and I have lived at this apartment complex for about 10 years. About a year ago we had new neighbors move in across the hall from us. Turns out it's an entire hive of tweakers. Husband, wife, 2 kids(every other week), grandma, 2 adult friends, 3 chihuahuas. One bedroom apartments btw. We've never had such problematic neighbors the entire time we've lived there. Our complex has assigned parking and clearly labeled visitor spots. We have one car for our one spot and the tweakers have 4 or more cars at any given time. The tweaker husband is a mechanic and constantly brings home new shitboxes to fill up all the visitor spots. We have a chain of emails with our apartment management going back to the first month they moved in with probably over +20 pictures of their cars parked in our spot. They refuse to tow anyone unless the car is there for OVER 24 hours, at which point they'll move last second. We've had candy, garbage, dirt, and more thrown on our car many many times since they've moved in, but no proof of who's doing it so I can't do anything. The few times I've knocked on their door and asked them to move, I get screamed and cussed out by them and their 3 demon dogs. I've never retaliated in any way whatsoever. I've only taken pictures as proof to email apartment management in hoping they won't renew their lease when the time comes. 

 Today that finally changed and now it's my turn to feel like the piece of shit I am for sinking down to their level. So wife and I come home from work the other day to see yet another car parked in our spot. We parked in a visitor spot(like 3 or 4 open ones to choose from) and I knocked on the tweakers door, asking if this car in our spot was theirs. They screamed at me that it wasnt their car and to shut the fuck up and leave them alone so I just walked away. After almost a solid year of this crap, of course I didn't believe a single word they said. I was SEETHING with anger at how anyone could just not give a shit about basic human decency. So like the hypocrite I am, I went back over to the car in our space and spit the biggest nastiest glob of snot and spit all over the diver side window. The second I sat down inside my apartment and started to calm down I realized how absolutely fucking dumb and immature and GROSS it was. Not only that, but in my head I'm thinking well shit, I've never retaliated against them after ALL this time but now I've opened the door for them to fuck with MY car or something. (Assuming they're not already the ones messing with it every couple weeks) 

Several hours later, wife goes back out to our car to grab some paperwork and sees a guy taking pictures of the car I spit on in our spot. He's on speaker phone yelling to someone about how he doesn't even live here so why would someone do that to his car, that he's gonna report everything, find out who did it, and get them evicted. So yeah turns out he's completely unrelated to the tweakers that have been fucking with us for months. Just a random guy who didn't bother to check what parking spaces were labeled. 

I don't know if he has any proof it was me, but whatever consequences might descend upon me I will embrace with open arms. If you've read this far, please take this as a lesson to not act out of anger for something so fucking dumb like I did. Nobody was in danger and nobody cost me money or time except the extra minute to park in a visitor spot. That guy did NOT deserve to have to clean my spit off his window and I'm a gross asshole.

ive never thought of myself as an addict but I think im getting there. the casino has always been alluring to me since I was a kid and I went the night I turned 21.

since then, ive been gambling very regularly. not always big amounts, but I do it at least once a week.

lately the amounts have been getting big. just this past weekend I lost over 5k, including 4k in one night.

I honestly have no plans of quitting completely, but I feel guilt. ill have to work for several weeks just to recoup this weekend's losses. I feel shitty

but today is a new day

Y a t’il des acheteur fiables ? Venez et on communique sur snap.

I’ve been bullied my whole life in nursery, primary, secondary, and college. Non stop. Everyday. I never had a break for years.

My first experience with bullying started in nursery; I would have girls pulling my hair and eyelashes, getting pencils stabbed into me, and being physically attacked by girls. No girls wanted to be my friend.

I’ve been called names by guys and girls. Boys all my school life have always disrespected me, sexually harassed me, called me names, and insulted me.

In secondary school, hundreds of guys in my year bullied me, and every single person in my year knew my name without me telling them. Hundreds of girls in my year bullied me too.

In secondary school, most girls who didn’t know me would talk badly about me and make fun of me. This one girl in particular would get close to me, and one day she ripped my letter in front of the whole class, and everyone laughed, which got me into trouble with the teacher because the teacher thought mind you, every single lesson i had had different students, so imagine how many different people bullied me.

In secondary school, guys would chuck stuff at me, say cruel things to me, talk about me to other guys, and call me names every day for years.

One time, this guy came up to me and said "shut up" to my face when I wasn’t speaking, and I didn’t make a sound.

Guys and girls would target me when I did nothing to them, but everyone else wouldn’t get targeted, especially the ones who were classed as “weird” or “shy” in school; they never got bullied like I did.

In primary, secondary, and college, most girls targeted me and were horrible, some of who didn’t know me. I would get talked about behind my back, called names; some would be nice and then turn really emotionally abusive, and some girls who didn’t know me wouldn’t want to get anywhere near me or have anything to do with me. But I don’t get that because these girls have never spoken to me before, and I did nothing to any one of them. Most girls I tried to make friends with would distance themselves, run away from me, and treat me nastily to my face.

In secondary school, one friend that I had been friends with for years since primary, even turned on me and said horrible things to me, like "I could beat you up." All we were doing was walking in school; I didn’t annoy her, I didn’t do anything, and I didn’t say anything. Every time she said sorry when she did something wrong, she would do it again. She always sent me inappropriate stuff too and emotionally abused me. But in the beginning, she was nothing like this. She then begged me to come back and be her friend when I distanced myself.

In primary school, I had girls stealing my food without me knowing from my backpack and talking badly about me to other girls, never wanting to be friends. I had girls being cruel to my face every day for years in primary.

I was always left out; even boys in my primary school would be very nasty to me and make fun of me.

In secondary school, in class one day, this guy who doesn’t know me and doesn’t know my dad said, right in front of my face, "Make sure your dad goes back to his country," and that he must be good at making pizzas. I was born in England, but I have a foreign name and a foreign last name.

For a whole year in secondary school, I had two classmates who sat behind me during math class. They constantly sexually harassed me, making inappropriate comments and sexual gestures throughout the entire lesson. They would argue with each other, claiming, “She wants me.” This behavior went on for the entire year, with them saying sexual things directly to me. Not a single student in the class spoke up or helped, and neither did the teacher. The teacher was fully aware of what was happening, as they witnessed it every math lesson, yet chose to remain uninvolved and let it continue.

It was all different guys and girls not the same ones. Hundreds of people bullied me.

In secondary school and primary, even every single teacher in my different lessons with different students would disrespect me and the teachers let me get bullied in front of their own eyes. They would hear it happening and do nothing to stop it. Everywhere i went was basically unsafe for me.

This one guy in secondary school even timed how long I took to go to the toilet in classes. The same guy threatened to beat me up in class one day. I did nothing to this boy, by the way; I didn’t bother him, and I never involved myself with him. We weren’t friends; I hardly engaged with him or spoke to him, and he randomly wanted to beat me up and said he wanted to my face. He used to throw rubber at me, and the girls in my year would watch, smiling and enjoying it, not telling him to stop.

Girls in lessons in secondary would throw rubber at me during the whole lesson, and the teacher would watch it all happening, ignore it, and not say anything, pretending it wasn’t happening. Teachers never told anyone off.

In secondary school, I was even choking on my water once in class, yet no one asked if I was okay or helped me, and my teacher said in front of the whole class, “Choke in silence, please.”

In secondary school, I was also sexually harassed by older boys who were not in my year that were older than me.

Every single person that has come into my life has abused me, walked all over me, talked behind my back, but been nice to my face only sometimes.

In college, every girl I tried to make friends with distanced themselves a few weeks into being with me and started emotionally abusing me.

There was this one girl in my college with who I used to hang out a lot, but she would only hang out with me if her boyfriend was there. Then, a few weeks down the line, she started distancing herself, and when she saw me with her boyfriend, she tried to hide. I told her I was leaving the friendship, and then she and her boyfriend turned cruel to me. She even threatened to slap me in the face just because I looked at her after our friendship ended. She would call me fat in class all the time too. She always got her boyfriend involved, texting me and starting random drama that I didn’t cause when we weren’t friends anymore. After all of that, after not being friends for a few weeks, she texted me randomly one day, saying I could hang out with her and her boyfriend again. "What course are you going to in college now?" she also texted.

In college, a group of girls I used to be friends with, who I’m not friends with anymore, would normally wait for me outside the class because they were in the same class as me. We would hang out all the time, and then one day, when class finished and they normally waited for me, they all disappeared.

I wondered where these girls went, so I went to the toilet because I needed to go, and I randomly found them in there. When I walked in, they looked shocked, and one of the girls in the group said, “We were talking shit about you.” To my face.

The other girls in the group went silent. I replied, “I don’t care.” The girl who said we were talking shit about you laughed at me after I said I don’t care. She went on her phone and wouldn’t engage with any of us, not even me. After that, I grabbed one of the girls lipstick in the group and got her lipstick in my hand. She said, “Yeah, you need that; your lips are chapped,” and the other girl in the group said, “Your hair looks nice.” Then, after we walked out of the toilets, they all didn’t mind me hanging out with them.

The girl who told me that I need lip gloss because my lips are chapped is the same girl who, in the past, would write letters to me. She would write, “I’m so pretty,” and always play with my hair without my permission.

The same girl, one day in class in college, kept saying to my face, “You’re sick-minded.” She said it out of nowhere; I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t speaking to her; I was busy doing work because we were in class. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I replied back with, “How?” She kept repeating, “You’re sick-minded.” Every time I said how.

The girl next to her in our group said “yeah you’re annoying”.

The girl who called me sick-minded after she called me sick-minded and kept repeating it a few minutes later. After that situation happened, everyone left class because it was the end of class, and it was just me and her in the room. She started breaking down, crying out of nowhere, talking about how bad her past was, how people used to abuse her, and her abusive family members. I was comforting her, and then a few minutes later, she was absolutely fine and said, "Do you want me to buy you some food?"

The same girl one day also said, "I bet your mum is pretty," out of nowhere; I never mentioned anything about my mum.

On a different day, she said to my face, "You’re ugly," and walked off. I just stood there, and she came back to me, trying to hug me, saying, "I’m joking.”

Other than that the same girl would want to hang out with me at times even call me to hang out with me in college.

Every single girl who has come into my life has acted nice, then been very cruel to my face down the line, always distancing themselves. I’ve never had a true friend.

Even individuals who were unfamiliar with me, had never engaged in conversation with me, or had never encountered me previously would treat me poorly and refrain from forming friendships or would keep their distance, especially in primary school and secondary school; I had that issue.

I can remember all the hurt I've been through and still picture it to this day, which helps me put into words what I've experienced. I've been through a lot more worse stuff that I haven’t written about in this post, but the writing would have been so long that I had no time to include everything I went through that I wanted to put out there.

For about two years I took stuff from the supply closet at work, pens, notebooks, printer paper, even a few USB drives, way more than I ever needed for personal use. I told myself it was fine because "the company doesn't care," but the truth is I just liked getting free stuff and never gave it a second thought.

Last month, a coworker was written up for "inventory shrinkage" in our department, and it occurred to me that it was probably partly due to what I'd been doing. I felt sick about it. Over the past few weeks I've been slowly buying replacement supplies out of my own pocket and restocking the closet a little at a time so it doesn't look suspicious.

I haven't told anyone what I did, and I don't think I ever will, but I needed to admit it somewhere. It was a small thing that I never thought about seriously until it actually affected someone else, and I regret not thinking about it sooner.

I’m just tired, can’t explain it all because it’s too much other than I am just tired. I love someone but I have destroyed them and ran their compassion towards me into the ground. That was my last straw, tonight every one will leave and I can just fall asleep for the final time. I’m tired of hurting the people I love, I will hurt them one last time by dying and then it will be over

I hit my best friend.

He did something really wrong, and it made me so angry. I tried so hard to control it. I tried to walk away, but the anger was too big. Before I could stop myself, my hand moved. I hit him.

The moment it happened, I saw the shock in his eyes, and then I saw the pain. I don't like this person I became in that second. I hate violence, and I always thought I was better than this.

Now, I feel sick . He was my best friend , the person who knew all my secrets, the one I laughed with every day. Now, when I look at my hand, I just feel shame. He was wrong for what he did, but I was completely wrong for how I reacted.

I think our friendship is ruined forever. it is all because I lost control.

Like whenever I'm studying, scrolling, watching movies, or reading, my hand automatically slips inside my shirt and I start playing with my bloomis without realizing it. It's kinda a habit now, I don't do it sexually but it's just soo comforting, like grabbing one and feeling the warmth. It's hard to explain, but it feels really good in a non-sexual way...

It’s not much for me to say. I’m 19f, I never had a great life. Always struggling, hungry, hit. I just tired. I think it’s honestly make everyone feel better around me if it’s one less mouth to try to feed, one less person taking up space.

Nothing to really say. That’s it.

edit: I am in therapy through Salvation Army for a year now. I don’t think I’ll be finishing college, I can’t pay for it, FAFSA isn’t covering it anymore, some new act was made I believe. I’m not sure, didn’t finish reading the email. I had a job, it fell through as its work study.. ironic. No one has reached back out, churches don’t even let me sit for service. I don’t want to sound like a pity party, I’m just getting it off my chest. I feel content with my decision.

2nd edit: I’m reading all comments even if I don’t reply. I apologize if I don’t. Thank you all again.

I apologize in advance for the long read but if I don’t explain it exactly how I feel, I’m nervous no one will get what I’m talking about.
I’m 24 (F), my dad unexpectedly died when I was 12, and I have found that I have been chasing older guys since. I fantasize about having sex with dads I meet all the time, who are like anywhere from 35-60, like what the f**k is wrong with me. Is it issues? Hormones? Both? But not any dads, the sweet, yet have some grit to them ones. I like older guys and dads because they have a softness about them and experience behind them. Also they make me feel safe. I like how they have that tenderness to them. They bring out the kid in me, and I think I chase both the dad I was robbed of and the child hood to. I have the yearn to be babied and adored but also that feeling of simply just f*****g the pain away by a man who’s old enough to well, be my father. Sometimes I just crave it.
All I ask is just don’t be cruel in the comments, I’m confused to lol

Eh bien voilà. Le titre.

Je suis attiré par les femmes, je fantasme sur les femmes, je voudrais vraiment vivre avec une femme lorsque le moment sera venu et que ne serai guéri de mes traumatismes.

Mais depuis deux mois environ, j'ai découvert des subreddits NSFW masculins, et pour une raison quelconque, cela m'a excité. Je ne comprends pas.

Depuis, il m'arrive de fréquenter ces subs juste pour voir de nouvelles images de pénis et en profiter.

J'ai honte et je suis confus. Je pense que je suis devenu hypersexuel.

C'était ma confession.

i was trying on tjmaxx pajamas and had the sudden urge to shit. fyi i have IBS. so unfortunately i tried to get my pajamas off which that i was trying on and put on my clothes to run out and find a toilet. i had no time to do this and had diarrhoea allover the door and the changing room bit. i felt extreme quilty and wanted to get tissue and clean it up but where would i throw the shit away? i cant just go back and forth into a changing room and clean up my mess. and its too embarrassing to tell one of the workers what i have done. so i got out a pen and a little old sticky note from my purse and wrote "sorry for the person to has to clean this up, i really needed to go it was a terrible emergency" with a little sad face. i never went to that tjmaxx again in shame and embarrassment.