I lied to my family about losing my job 8 months ago and I'm still lying
I (29M) have been the "responsible one" in my family since I was like 22. First one with a real job, first one with savings, you get the picture.
My family treated that like a communal bank. My sister needed rent money, my brother needed car repairs, my mom needed help with utilities. I dont want to sound heartless, I know things are hard for everyone and I genuinely dont mind helping. The problem is it never stopped and it never came back. Over about 6 years I gave out somewhere around $23,000. I recieved maybe $400 of that, and only because my mom made my sister pay me back for a birthday gift.
8 months ago I had to dip into MY emergency fund to fix my own car and I mentioned it to my mom. She said "well at least you have savings" and then two days later asked me for $600 for my brother. Something in me just quietly snapped. I didnt even plan it, I told her my company had layoffs and I was one of them.
I have a good job. I still have my job. I work from home so its easy.
My life has never been this peaceful. Nobody asks me for anything. My phone stopped ringing, and that stung alot more than I expected, because now I know most of those calls were transactions. My mom checks in maybe once a month and asks about the job search. I tell her the market is rough. It definately is, so thats not even a full lie.
The funny thing is nobody has offered to help ME. Not once. They all know im "broke" now and suddenly everyones budget is too tight.
Here's what I actually feel guilty about. My niece had a birthday in March and I told them I couldnt afford to fly out. I could afford it. I just couldnt sit through another dinner listening to my sister talk about her new nails while she owes me $4k. I skipped a little kids birthday to avoid an awkward conversation and that is honestly the worst thing ive done to someone who didnt deserve it.
I dont plan on telling them. Ill "find a job" eventually with a lower salary so the requests stay small.
I guess I just needed to say it somewhere. Anyone else done something like this? I feel like the villain in a story where im also the victim.