r/Breakupadvice

My ex and I broke up and agreed to take a week apart. After that week, he decided that our relationship wasn’t good for either of us anymore. He told me he loved me and would think about me every day for the rest of his life, but then he blocked me on every platform without even giving me a chance to respond or have one final conversation.
What confuses me is that, in the past, he was the one who begged me several times to work things out when we had problems. So when I tried to reach out to him this time, I didn’t see it as a matter of pride. I saw it as mutual effort. If he had fought for me before, I wanted to show him that I was willing to fight for us too.
I realized he hadn’t blocked me on Spotify, so I messaged him there, hoping we could work things out. I also asked my cousin, whom he still followed on Instagram, to tell him to check his Spotify messages. They rarely talked, except when he asked her about me. After that, he blocked me on Spotify too and told my cousin that “sometimes loving someone means letting them go.” He didn’t block her or unfollow her.
A week later, I realized I still had him on Snapchat. He was watching my stories, so I thought nothing of it. Today, after two weeks of not talking and one week since he made the breakup final, I felt calmer and decided to send him a simple “Hey, how are you?” I wasn’t trying to beg him to come back. I just didn’t understand why he had cut me off everywhere without allowing us to have a proper conversation and end things on better terms. He ended up removing me from Snapchat too.
I genuinely don’t understand how someone can tell you they love you and will think about you for the rest of their life, then suddenly treat you like a complete stranger. Can you love someone that much and still block them everywhere? Do you think he did it because he still has feelings and needs distance to move on, because he’s completely done with the relationship, or for some other reason? And did watching my Snapchat stories mean anything, or was it probably meaningless?
I know nobody can know exactly what’s going through his mind, but I’d really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who have been in a similar situation or have been the ones to end a relationship this way. I’m not necessarily hoping he’ll come back; I just want to understand the contradiction between what he told me and how he chose to leave. Why say you’ll love someone forever, then cut them out of your life as if they never mattered?

So to start off my whole relationship of three years went down the drain bc my partner couldn’t muster up being an adult to communicate with me. Like hey I don’t see us working …. But no they had to dragged it on for a whole year . Keep in mind this person was so called obsessed with me through out high school, and only after graduation they confessed to me.

The fact that I opened my whole life to them hurts at a degree. I also even came out to my own mother which for me was very nerve racking. Meanwhile because my parents are very religious, but still my mom did respect my decision. Another thing is that really bugged me was … they were very distant at times which I took it as ohhh they are probably working . Since they had long hour shifts through out the week, but to basically ghost me through weeks really hurts.

In addition, I was also going through health issues and family issues , and yet I always replied back to them. There so called excuse would always be ohh sorry it’s been busy lately. Yet they would post on a daily on other platforms and interact with others while completely ignoring me. Another thing that pissed me off was their excuse saying sorry I was playing … we played the same game … and more so I’m a very mega nerd and gamer and still find time to talk to people.

I still remember I send a whole paragraph expressing my feelings over and over . They would also give the most bs of responses. There was also no change , so I called it a quits and wrapped it up. It’s been 2 months since I broke up with them and they are dating someone new. To be fairly honest I still feel hurt but when I saw their post … I felt even more disgusted.. they are posting like cringy stuff and pet names …. Which I’m like yuck … maybe it was for the best to break up. I’m currently also a college student so I have to really finish my degree plan.

Along with to sum it up while I was suffering…. They did no effort to take me out or get me some stuff or just be there . Instead they partied with their so called friends and went to places . I saw that as micro cheating, but nahh it’s cheating at the end of the day bc I was never told anything.

I’m still recovering while trying out new things and even went back to yoga classes
. Anyways … that’s my rant (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

TLDR -- I had a relationship last year that only lasted a few months last year, but left a profound impact on me. It was an all-consuming love for me from the first date. He was the first guy that I really liked, and I consider him my first love in many ways. I didn't realize how much, or how deeply, I could love until I met him. I was willing to move or change many plans or ideas of my future to align with the future that he wanted, and think long-term. I wanted long-term with him. I'd never experienced that before.

But it became long distance, it was hard, and we broke up. And the past year has been fine, I was I was in a really good spot until recently when I learned he has a new girlfriend. A girl who seems like an upgraded version of me. And he's doing long distance for.

Much of our time together, I was insecure that maybe I wasn't good enough for him. It made me anxious and hesitant to share things about myself, anxious about being burdensome and reach out to him. I feel like I ruined things, and chased away someone good. He feels like a great guy, and I fear that I lost someone really great because I wasn't able to be good enough, both in who I was and the way I acted. Seeing him with a new girl makes me feel like it was just me — I wasn’t good enough for him.

I have yet to meet anyone that I feel about like that again, or anyone near that. I feel like I was previously anxiously-attached, and now I'm so avoidant. I find people cute and can flirt, but any sign of anything more serious and I want to run away. I can't imagine getting into anything serious after this, can't imagine ever being able to feel like that again.

And I'm a little scared of how much I was willing to re-format my life around another person, and I'm scared I will feel like that again. But at the same time, if I don't feel that height or depth of love again, do I really want it? Is that even love, or just someone I like enough to be my companion?

I feel like I'm backsliding, and I'm emotionally stuck. I want to move forward and I do want to find love again. but it's hard.

My friend told me that you will feel like this many times in your life, and it's only because this is the first time I've felt this, it's why I fear I'll never find it again. I've many people this year, and I can't help but fear that it won't happen again.

My ex (29M) and I (28F) were together for 3.5 years (officially 3). We were seriously discussing marriage and he had taken me engagement ring shopping. I thought we were building a future together. We're both in medicine; I'm a medical student and he's an EM resident who moved across the country in June.

Some relationship context:

We had conflict-resolution problems even before long distance. He could be incredibly loving and supportive, but also had a serious mean streak. He was frequently defensive, argumentative, and a smart-ass, sometimes deliberately pushing my buttons or initiating arguments. He could be condescending and say hurtful things. I could also become emotionally reactive and say things I regret. I was also hurtful to him.

I felt like I was usually the one initiating repair afterward, while he rarely examined his own contributions to our arguments. We'd often make up without really addressing the underlying problems.

Long distance made everything worse. We went nearly three months without seeing each other. I was lonely, struggling with the separation, and increasingly resentful. I sometimes expressed that resentment in hurtful ways, which he had raised concerns about before, but would shut down longer discussions about it. We never had the heart to hearts we needed to.

The breakup:

We spoke for less than one hour

We argued on a Saturday, made up, and continued talking normally throughout the following week. He repeatedly told me he loved me, said he couldn't wait to see me, and even requested intimate photos.

We had a 10-day visit planned for the following week, including five days he had off work, which is incredibly rare during residency.

Then, on Thursday night, immediately after finishing his shift, he called me at approximately 12:30 AM (on my mom’s birthday)

I'd been awake for nearly 48 hours due to travel complications, had a train to catch in four hours, and he knew both things.

He literally said, "Well, before you go back to sleep, I think we should break up."

He was drinking a beer, wearing a shirt I'd bought him, and had the entire following day off. All throughout the week and even the day of the breakup he was talking to me like normal— even at the beginning of his shift and on the way home he was texting like normal.

I was completely blindsided. He said he'd been thinking about our Saturday argument and had finally decided he couldn't get past it. He also cited differences about children, religion, and where we'd live.

He canceled our visit despite me gegging for one last in-person conversaiton. I hadn't seen him in almost three months, and our entire relationship ended over a late-night phone call.

The following Monday:

We spoke for 48 minutes

I'd spent several days reflecting and explained that I finally understood how much of my anger about long distance was actually fear of abandonment. I took responsibility for the ways I'd hurt him and explained what I wanted to change about how I handled conflict.

I also wanted us to address our longstanding problems with conflict resolution and discuss our future differences more thoroughly rather than assume they were irreconcilable.

He told me he believed things could change, but needed time and space to remember that his own wants and needs mattered, because he hadn't felt that way in our relationship.

I understood that to mean he needed space to process things, potentially including whether he wanted to reconcile.

I gave him space. It was hard.

The weekend I was supposed to be visiting him:

That weekend was especially painful because I was supposed to be visiting him. I kept recieving partiful notifications all day about a Karaoke pary I was suppsoed to go to with him. Then I saw an insta story showing him singing with some girls at the party that I was supposed to be with him at. It felt like he was gloating the breakup, it broke my heart and I STILL did not reach out.

I understand that he was single and entitled to spend time with his friends. I'm not suggesting he was obligated to sit at home grieving. But seeing him out socializing while I was devastated, knowing he'd canceled our long-awaited visit just days earlier, was incredibly hurtful.

It was difficult to reconcile how abruptly my life had changed with how seemingly normal his weekend looked.

The following Wednesday:

We spoke for 37 minutes

I reached out to clarify what he meant by needing space because I didnt want to be blindsided again like how I was with the breakup. I was preparing for a major medical licensing exam and didn't want an unexpected conversation in the middle of it.

I was not asking him to take me back, but I think that is how he interpreted it. I wanted to know whether he was considering rebuilding or whether he'd already made a final decision.

He said, he just “doesn’t want put in the work required to rebuild this” He said rebuilding would require a lot of effort if we were in person and distance would make it harder. I am confused what he thinks it would take to rebuild. He is extremely overwhelmed and busy with residency so I think that contributed. I was confused because his Monday statement had sounded much more open-ended to me. He said he believed change was possible but didn't want to rebuild our relationship. He said he will always love me and care about me, he said he is still in love with me, he said he forgives me for our past conflicts (but he didnt apologize for his role still…) he said that it is just too much for him.

What happened afterward:

I was devastated that night and continued trying to understand him, including sending messages explaining my perspective and asking for another conversation. I recognize that I should have respected his request for space sooner.

He eventually blocked me. I completely panicked and continued to try to contact him that night directly after being blocked.

He also contacted people close to me to check on my well-being after I struggled badly with the breakup. While I appreciate that he was concerned, it was painful that he was communicating with people around me while refusing to communicate directly with me.

Altogether, we've spent less than three hours actually discussing the end of a relationship that lasted over three years.

His family reached out to me 2 weeks after he dumped me about his grandpa’s passing (I will obviously not be going to the funeral). I left him a message saying I am sorry for his loss and I hope things are okay with him. He blocked me from his voicemail too.

I am still so confused. I am so sad that he didnt bring up earlier how close he was to leaving. I feel totally blindsided. I asked why he dumped me in the middle of the night and he said he “just had to get it over with” and I asked why he wouldn’t see me in person and he said he “didnt want his limited time off to turn into us fighting”. I thought that was totally heartless. He was treating the breakup like an inconvenient task he had to finish as opposed to ending a relationship with someone he loved dearly.

Where I am now:

It's been five weeks. I still love him and miss him, but I'm also increasingly angry about how he handled this.

I fully acknowledge that I hurt him and that he had every right to end a relationship he no longer wanted. I'm not arguing that he owed me reconciliation.

But after 3.5 years, engagement ring shopping, and plans to see each other within days, I feel like I deserved a more considerate breakup than a midnight phone call while I was severely sleep-deprived.

I'm also struggling with how quickly he went from telling me he loved me and couldn't wait to see me to cutting off communication. I am also struggling to understand why he doesn’t want to rebuild. We had spoken about going to premarital counseling before getting married (like as a divorce-preventative thing) so I thought that I was in a relationship where we were committed to working out our issues, not giving up.

I was supposed to spend the week of New Years years with him and see him at Christmas. He was going to watch our cat for the week of christmas. I am assuming none of that is happening now. I have no idea if we will ever see each other again. He said like a week after the breakup that he doesn’t know how he will feel in the future but he doesn’t want to give me false hope.

Am I unreasonable for thinking the way he handled this was cruel? Was his Monday statement genuinely ambiguous? And how do you reconcile still loving someone with feeling deeply hurt by the way they left? Anyone have any advice on how to get through this?

Please. 😢 I know you can’t be my friend I just literally need a distraction

I 33M have been married to my wife 33F for 2 years. Her male coworker 30M is in a relationship with a woman named Erika 30F for 2 years. My wife and her coworker have texted regularly for 4 months. Any references to “Erika,” “my wife,” or “the wife” in his messages refer to his significant other.

The full text log is extremely long, so these are some of the exchanges that stood out. They also had plenty of ordinary conversations about work, anime, food, coworkers, etc.

She confided in him about our marriage
Wife:

“My relationship right now is not the best thing… he’s pushing me to give up.”

Wife: “I’m scared about future without him. If I decide to give up, I was scared about everything.”

Wife: “Please don’t tell nobody what I’m saying to you.”

He responded:

Him: “I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone what you talk to me about or share with me…”

Him: “If you go separate ways I hope you find the love of your life who treats you like a queen like you deserve to be treated.”

Him: “Sometimes in life you gotta walk about because of differences or problems.”
The next morning:

Wife: “Good morning Shaun thank you so much and I hope that too is I just need to try to find a exit of everything…”

Him: “God bless you too and I’m always here to listen or talk or give advice as needed…”

They told each other they cared about each other

Wife: “I care about you a lot, and Erika too…”

Him: “I care about you a lot too you’re very sweet down to earth have a wonderful personality and you’re always looking out for me and Erika…”

He repeatedly told her she could contact him anytime

Him: “I’m always here to chat or talk or listen don’t matter if it’s 5am or 5pm or whatever time of the day…”

Later:

Him: “If you need anything and I mean anything just text or call please… I’m always here to talk listen or give advice whether it’s 5am or 12am.”

Another time:

Him: “Thank you Doris that means a lot I hope you do as well and I’m always here to talk or chat or listen if you need it 😊…”

❤️** [Heart reaction to a GIF during this exchange**]
Good-night and affectionate messages

One night:

Him: “Goodnight sweet dreams sleep tight I hope you had an amazing day and I hope you have an amazing night filled with beautiful happy dreams bigs hugs sent your way and blessings as well.”

Another:

Him: “God bless you as well and sleep well sweet dreams… I appreciate it and you and you caring so much if you need anything call or text I’m always here to talk or listen or just have a conversation you’re a very sweet lady and I appreciate you very much…”

Another:

Him: “Goodnight Doris much love to you big hugs sent your way and blessings for you and your family.”

Another:

Him: “Have a wonderful night sweet dreams sleep tight and I appreciate you as well.”

There were also good-night GIFs that received ❤️ reactions.

Other affectionate/personal messages

Him: “You’re welcome Doris much love to you big hugs…”

Him: “Sounds good hon big hugs sent your way hope everything goes better for you and gets better.”

Him: “You’re so silly xD and you don’t have to apologize ❤️ and I’m sorry you don’t feel good I send hugs.”

Him: “Awe you poor baby 🥺 I hope you feel better soon and get better soon and if you need anything or just wanna talk message me 😊.”

Another message ended:

Him: “Have a wonderful night enjoy yourself be safe and careful ❤️.”

When she wasn’t talking much:

Him: “Everything ok? You don’t seem interested in talking lol or shy or did I do something…”

Another time:

Him: “Do I bother you? Cause if so I won’t message you so much.”

And:

Him: “Text me more lol you act like you bother me or something.”

They regularly checked in with each other

There were repeated good-morning/good-night and checking-in conversations.

For example, my wife initiated:

Wife: “Gm”

Wife: “Buenos Días”

Wife: “How are you and did you sleep well”
Another time:

Wife: “Hey hru?”

Wife: “Hello how is everything going?”

Wife: “How is your training???”

Wife: “Probably you are sleeping already”

He responded that he was awake, and later joked:

Him: “Oooo nice nice I’ll sleep later lol you trying to get rid of me already damn girl…”

Another time she wrote:

Wife: “Good morning Sr hope you doing well”

He told her:

Him: “And you don’t have to call me sir haha”

Later she intentionally continued the joke:

Wife: “Hello sir how are you today? I know you told me not to call you sir. Just doing it to bother you anyways hope you’re doing OK today.”

Food, drinks and favors

They also brought/offered each other food and drinks.

My wife:

Wife: “Do you work today?”

Wife: “I have chocolate cake to give you”

Later:

Wife: “You have a tea in the fridge I got u next to your bag”

She clarified the cake was for both of them:

Wife: “Hopefully you can enjoy the cake Guys”

He later offered:

Him: “I am at Starbucks would u like something as I’m coming to get Erika?”

She said:

Wife: “Yes, of course”

He invited her to hang out

Him: “If you wanna do something let me know I’m free in the morning or later afternoon if you’re allowed to hangout lol.”

She responded:

Wife: “Awww that’s nice thanks”

Wife: “I don’t know he wants to do something tomorrow”

Wife: “So hopefully”

She then said her mother-in-law wanted her to help move things from the attic and that she was still feeling sick.

My wife’s first language is Spanish and her English isn’t great, so I don’t know exactly what she meant by “so hopefully,” and I don’t want to interpret it for her.

He responded:

Him: “Well just let me know not a big deal if you can’t or don’t wanna lol and you’re very welcome I told you I don’t mind hanging out or asking you if you wanna go do something so you’re not cooped up in the house…”

I don’t have anything in the texts establishing that they actually hung out privately outside of work.

Context that may matter

He frequently included Erika in conversations. For example, while he and Erika were on vacation he told my wife:

Him: “We both are sending big hugs and kisses for you…”

My wife responded:

Wife: “Oh that’s great!! I’m happy for you guys. Please enjoy your vacation…”

My wife also repeatedly wished both of them well and talked positively about Erika.

There are no explicit sexual texts, declarations that they’re romantically in love, or admissions in these texts that they kissed or had sex.

Separately from the texts, my wife previously told me that she and this same coworker got in trouble at work after another woman complained that they were getting too “handsy” and flirty/sexual with each other.

I hate to tell you this, but reaching out to people about me really isn’t going to accomplish much. No one cares. I hope you’re okay though. I love you 🫂. I’m not going to throw the past in your face it’s fine forget about it. If you need someone I’m here. I hope you’re having a good day.

I posted here earlier about my ex suddenly unblocking me everywhere and asked whether I should contact her. Most people told me not to. I genuinely tried not to, but eventually my emotions got the better of me and I contacted her.

We ended up talking on the phone for almost 4 hours in total over two days.

I don’t even know exactly what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just need to get everything out somewhere because yesterday I cried like hell and right now I’m finding it extremely difficult to accept everything.

For context, we were friends from around December 2021 and got into a relationship in March 2022. She was my first serious relationship and my first love.
We were together for around 3.5 years and finally broke up in September 2025.

After the breakup, we had around two months of no contact. Then we started talking again around November 2025.

November, December, January and most of February were relatively normal. We weren’t back together, but we were talking. At one point in February, our conversations even became romantic again, which obviously gave me some hope that maybe there was still something between us.

Then everything changed again.
During March and April, she started pushing me away really hard. At times she literally told me things like “I hate you” and “I don’t want to talk to you.”
It was incredibly confusing because not long before that, we had been talking normally and even romantically.
Then around May, I came to understand that she was with someone else.

After that, especially during June, I tried not to interfere with her life.
Eventually she blocked me. Later, around the time of our birthdays and after her birthday on September 22 ,she suddenly unblocked me again.

That’s what led to my previous Reddit post.
Everyone basically told me: Don’t read into the unblock. Don’t contact her. If she wants to talk, let her contact you.

I know you guys were probably right.
But I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Eventually I contacted her.
During these calls, I finally directly asked her why she had unblocked me.

She told me that I had been running through her mind.
Hearing that obviously affected me because I still have feelings for her. But our conversation also made me realize how differently both of us see our relationship.

She told me that she had to push me away because she was suffering in the relationship.

And I want to be fair here.
I know I made mistakes.
I could be reactive sometimes. There were situations I handled badly, things I should have approached differently, and things I genuinely regret.

I’ve apologized to her for those things. If I had to look at our relationship honestly, I would say I probably contributed around half, maybe slightly more, to what went wrong.

I’m not trying to escape responsibility for that.
But what hurts me is that whenever we talk about our relationship, I feel like everything gets placed on me.
From her perspective, it sometimes feels like I was the reason everything went wrong and she was simply suffering because of me.

That’s difficult for me to accept because I remember things that hurt me too. I remember her mistakes too. I don’t think either of us was perfect.

Maybe that’s something I need to stop trying to resolve.
Maybe I don’t need her to agree with my version of the relationship.

Maybe she experienced our relationship one way and I experienced it another way, and we’re never going to completely agree about who was responsible for what.
After these four hours of conversations, I think something finally hit me:

I can’t keep living my life waiting for her.
Yes, she told me I was running through her mind.
Yes, she unblocked me.
Yes, we managed to talk for hours.
And yes, there are couples who break up, date other people, grow individually and somehow reconnect years later.

But I can’t build my life around the possibility that we’ll be one of those couples.
Right now, I’m single.
Right now, we aren’t together.
And right now, I need to learn how to live without constantly asking myself whether she’ll come back someday.

If life somehow brings us together again years from now, that’s something future me can deal with.
But present me needs to move on.
And honestly, I don’t know how.

I spent years loving this person. She was my first relationship. I pictured a future with her. Even after our breakup, because we kept talking on and off, I don’t think my brain ever completely accepted that the relationship was actually finished.

Every small thing kept restarting my hope.
She talks nicely → hope.
She becomes romantic in February → hope.
She pushes me away → heartbreak.
I find out there’s someone else → heartbreak.
She blocks me → heartbreak.
She unblocks me → hope again.
She says I was running through her mind → hope again.

I’m exhausted by this cycle.
Yesterday I cried so much.

I genuinely feel very low right now. I’m trying to build my career, I’m living abroad, and objectively I know I have an entire life ahead of me. But emotionally, part of me still feels stuck with the girl I fell in love with years ago.

I also know that immediately finding another girl isn’t magically going to fix me. I eventually want to date again and experience love again, but I don’t want to enter another relationship while secretly waiting for my ex.

So I’m asking this community for something different this time.

Please help me move on.
Not “How do I get her back?”
Not “Does her unblocking me mean she still loves me?”
Not “Will we reconnect someday?”
I’m tired of trying to decode everything she does.

For those of you who genuinely loved someone, spent years with them, broke up, kept going back and forth for months, and eventually managed to let go:
How did you finally accept that it was over?
How did you stop checking their socials?
How did you stop imagining that every little action meant they might come back?
How did you start dating again without comparing everyone to your ex?

And how did you forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in your first relationship without spending years thinking, “If only I had behaved differently, maybe we’d still be together”?

I know healing isn’t going to happen because of one Reddit post.
But right now I’m hurting badly, and I could genuinely use advice from people who have been on the other side of this.

I don’t want to hate her.
I don’t want to prove that she was wrong or that I was right.
I don’t even want to keep figuring out who was responsible for 50% or 60% of the breakup anymore.
I just want to reach a point where remembering her doesn’t destroy my day.

She Went into new relationship in March 26, after wishing me valentines day and romantic conversations.

She says she has been talking to him since November 25, but also she was saying she missed me in November.

She is saying her relationship is not a rebound.

sorry for this criminally long story but the reason why i‘m posting this is bc i‘d like to know if this is normal. this is my first ever breakup, it honestly emotionally drained me so much which is why i hope someone can look at this from an outside perspective. am i overreacting when i say this is not healthy behavior? i‘d love to hear any thought you have on this, and i can answer any questions you have too.

here is some context: last year (feb-apr), i was in montreal where i met a guy. we met in february and made it official in march, and when i left montreal, he told me he wanted to try long-distance. even though we weren‘t together for a long time at that point, we had a pretty deep, meaningful connection and neither of us expected that. we did long-distance, and in august he broke up with me bc the long-distance was feeling like a job to him, that his work + the relationship is exhausting him and that he can‘t put in the effort i needed from him. he constantly reassured me that it had nothing to do with me, i deserve better and that i will always hold a special place in his heart etc.

after the breakup for the first two weeks, he would text me every day (pretty much exactly how we would when we were together), calling me pet names, telling me he loved me (which confused me but at the time i didn‘t know these weren‘t healthy boundaries). he confided in me that he is talking to new girls on insta, telling me he‘s having a hard time talking to them bc he still thinks about us (like dude no one is forcing you but wtv). he even gave me their insta bc he wanted to be honest with me (again, no boundaries here but this was my first breakup so i didn‘t know any better). after around two weeks of this, he sends me this long-ass goodbye paragraph where he says he has been going on a few dates with this new girl and that it is time for him to move on from me („it‘s time for me to flip the page on this one“). again, he says i mean a lot to him and he will never forget what we had blah blah. this broke my heart at the time because i felt like i was being replaced/discarded for a “better“ girl, and that he would rather put in effort for a different girl than for me. i removed him on all my social media and removed him from our shared notes and shared playlists as a way to gain back control over the situation and bc i felt like it was the right thing to do.

this is the important part: pretty much since we broke up, he has been dating the same girl. they apparently made it official in december after dating since september. since our breakup, he has periodically (every few weeks to few months) reached out to me for different reasons. most of the time, he would ask how i‘m doing, or ask about how things were going in my life (like if i had moved apartments already). on holidays like christmas he would text me and also thanked me for the good times we had. i always gave him minimal answers and never initiated new questions. any type of contact we had through texting was initiated by him which naively kept me hopeful for a long time.

also, he would make public (?!) spotify playlists that were clearly directed towards me. the titles either had names we called each other, phrases we used when we were together, or were related to meaningful memories we shared. keep in mind they are public for everyone (including his new girl) to see. (it‘s one thing to privately make playlists about your ex to process it but to make them public while your gf is clueless to what they mean?? i think that‘s disrespectful to her). over time he would either change the title of the playlist to a different reference to me or add songs that we used to listen to together. i never reacted to this externally and just pretended i never saw it. it has been over six months since the breakup (three months since he made it official with his new girl) and he still has public playlists about me. one detail: i had a playlist with a subtitle that said „fleeing my country as soon as exams are over“ meaning i was going to montreal during my break. shortly after, he made the title of one of his playlists about me to „show a sign when u flee“. he also recently asked if i was going to be in montreal soon to which i answered yes (nothing else was said). also, he has recently viewed some of my insta stories (even though i removed him) and every time he did, would block me after (bc of guilt? to stop the urge? to hide it from his gf?). i know these are just small things but i‘m trying to point to the bigger picture: he is being emotionally dishonest. am i overreacting for thinking this is unfair for his new girlfriend?

at this point this is what i think: he is trying balance his conflicting needs (= staying emotionally attached to us while enjoying something new) which is emotionally immature to do. it makes it harder for me to move on bc it feels like he is still emotionally invested in us. and it is not fair for the new girl since he publicly is showing lingering feelings towards me.

Downloaded reddit soley for this situation

I’m going to try and shorten this as much as possible without losing the important context of the situation. I (18/F) was dating a guy (18/M) for about 2-3 months but had known him as a friend for 2 years prior to this which made our relationship advance quite quickly as (well I thought) we already knew each other quite well. Everything was perfect and we seemed so in love and I genuinely believe he is the first guy i’ve ever properly liked as someone who only forms attraction after knowing someone a long time. Long story short we somehow ended up talking about politics which he did say was a bad idea but as I do feel quite strongly about politics I insisted on him continuing after getting the sense that I did not agree at all with his views.

To summarise what I could not get over:
1.) He seems to think reform-like immigration policies will protect the nation because he believes that loads of immigrants are rapists and also choose the uk to exploit benefits rather than travelling to other countries
2.) He also seems to think this because he believes a vast majority of immigrants are muslim and seems to also think a vast majority of muslims are extremists and believe it’s ok to rap children - he is against all religion but seems to make excuses for christianity and judaism when it comes to extremist traditional scripture passages but does not provide the same grace to islam
3.) he doesn’t like the green party because be believes they want to eradicate the right wing (coz of this one interview where polanski said there is no place for the right wing in politics) and also because he wants to be in the RAF and they want to defund the military
4.) he seems to agree with the stance that people should get on with mental health issues because he has been through a lot of hardship and “hasn’t let it get to him” and that people exploit benefits e.g he told me he could go to the nhs claim he has anxiety and take benefits
5.) he denies that reform policies are rasist and made excuses for what sarah pochin said about advert, farage’s naz*sm accusations in high school and the fact they want to abolish equality acts (claims it’s just to make anti-immigration laws better)
6.) He supports the death penalty

This feels impossible for me to get over as a mixed woman who has had mental health issues including anxiety and has a younger brother with autism in a special ed school, a mother who works in DEI and aunty who works in abortion clinic who. It therefore led me to break up with him even though we still love each other because it’s hard to see how he can care about me as much as he claims to when his politics sidelines my rights and my family’s. I never thought i’d say this about someone with such views but admittedly I still think i’m in love with him and he claims he is still with me and doesn’t mind the fact i’m left wing but I fear he doesn’t mind just because my beliefs don’t affect him like how his directly affect me. I do believe he has good intentions behind his views e.g to avoid the rape of women and they are partly due to his upbringing i.e both his parents support Reform and his dad used to hit him when he cried as he was trying to teach him to be “tough”.

For the first week of break up we agreed to be friends as from the beginning of our relationship we said we would continue to be friends no matter what happened (we didn’t want to lose 2yrs of friendship by trying to be more). However he was still acting like a bf e.g complimenting me, staying up late to check i’m home safe from a night out. I would call this behaviour out and he would say he can’t help it. Since I could tell he hadn’t understood the extent of why we physically could not be together (partly my fault as when I broke up with him it was very sudden and I was crying and still processing what i’d just heard so was struggling to get my words out) we arranged to meet up and have a proper discussion and hear each other out - why I thought we couldn’t be together and why he thought we could. He thinks it is unfair of me to not try to work through the situation as he knows how much we both loved each other and how well our relationship was going before this (and also believes love overcomes politics). His best friend (who I was also somewhat friends with) thinks I was unfair to break up with him and wanted us back together but also that me attempting to stay friends with him (as I didn’t want to lose him entirely) was selfish and controlling . Once I found this out and also found out that 1 of my friends felt that she wouldn’t ever be comfortable around him again after hearing his beliefs, I unadded him and told him we can’t be friends. However, I am really really struggling right now after going no contact and I know he is too. I know time is supposed to heal but I know I still love him and he does too.

The main ?s: I need advice on whether I was right to break up with him or whether it was possible to work through the situation (including the potential of me somehow changing his views and he also suggested the possibility of me being able to explain and change them but I couldn’t tell whether this was a desperate attempt to not lose me), whether I should’ve gone ahead with the conversation and whether I was right to call it off and what steps I can/should take now (including the possibility of being friends as I still care about him too much or even being back together as we both clearly love each other).

If anyone has any more questions to ask about anything relating to the situation and our relationship that would help paint a better picture of what is happening i’m happy to answer them as I understand I have skipped over a lot to try and shorten this post. Thank you for taking your time to read this x

i’m 24m and my girlfriend and i broke up on 30th august after almost 4 years together.
i honestly still don’t know how to process the whole thing.
she was a massive part of my life. i don’t want to sit here and act like she was a horrible girlfriend or that the entire relationship was toxic because that simply isn’t true. she stood by me through a lot, we had a lot of genuinely happy memories and for a long time i was convinced i was going to marry her.
the last 6 months of the relationship were pretty bad for me mentally. i started having severe anxiety and panic attacks, mostly related to my health, and i was constantly worried and overwhelmed. i know that affected me as a person and definitely affected the relationship too.
on top of that my business/career and finances were stressing me out badly.
there was also some financial pressure within the relationship that i don’t think i really acknowledged while i was in it. sometimes i felt like there were expectations around spending, gifts, going out, lifestyle etc that i was struggling to keep up with while already dealing with financial pressure.
i’m not saying she was with me for money or anything like that. that wouldn’t be fair at all. but i did sometimes feel pressure to provide or spend in a way that was difficult for me at the time.
and i’ll admit that instead of communicating that properly, i would sometimes bottle it up, get frustrated and react badly.
we had other issues too. we fought a lot at times. there were unhealthy patterns from both sides. she says she felt pressured and that she lost herself in the relationship.
i can accept that i made mistakes. there are definitely things i did that i regret. there were times i was controlling, reactive and difficult.
i’m actually trying to work on those things now.
but one thing that has been really difficult for me after the breakup is that it feels like the entire relationship has now been turned into something where everything was my fault.
like the story now is basically:
i was the problem, she tolerated me for years and finally had enough.
and i don’t really think that’s fair either.
there were things that hurt me too. there were breakup threats during fights. there were financial pressures. there were times i felt dismissed. there were things i put up with because i was terrified of losing her.
i’m not saying this to avoid responsibility.
i know i hurt her in some ways.
but she hurt me in some ways too.
i don’t think a relationship of almost 4 years falls apart completely because of one person.
another thing that is really difficult for me is our different ideas of commitment.
whenever my career or business was struggling, whenever money was stressful, even during the last 6 months when i was having really bad anxiety attacks, she was still non-negotiable for me.
i never thought “my life is difficult right now so maybe i should get rid of the relationship.”
if anything, she was the person i wanted beside me while everything else was going wrong.
but when her own life started becoming really difficult, it felt like the relationship was one of the first things she dropped.
i know that sounds harsh and maybe she sees it completely differently. maybe from her perspective the relationship itself had become one of the things making her life worse.
but emotionally it feels like:
when my life was falling apart, i still chose us. when her life started falling apart, us was something she could let go of.
that really hurts me and makes me question whether we understood commitment the same way.
after we broke up on august 30th, things became even more confusing.
there were moments where she was still warm with me. at one point she told me she hadn’t completely moved on. she said maybe if we were meant to be together we would meet again someday as better versions of ourselves.
she even told me i could text her whenever i felt low.
obviously i took that as some kind of hope.
then over the next few weeks she became much colder.
eventually i directly asked if there was any hope for us at all and she told me no.
she even said there wasn’t even 1% space left for me in her heart.
that sentence honestly destroyed me.
i tried going no contact after the breakup but i’ve broken it three times.
each time it’s basically the same thing.
i miss her, start overthinking, convince myself that one conversation will make me feel better or give me some clarity, contact her and then somehow feel 10x worse afterwards.
i’m starting to realise that no contact can’t be some strategy where i secretly hope she notices my absence and comes back.
i actually need to do it because i’m hurting myself by constantly going back.
i’ve now stopped sending snapchat streaks too and i’m trying to stop checking her stories/posts because even that sends me into a spiral.
another thing i’m really struggling with is how unaffected she looks.
i know social media is fake and i obviously don’t know what she feels privately.
but she looks like she’s just living her life normally.
meanwhile i’ve cried in front of my parents, had anxiety, checked my archived chats constantly to see if she messaged, reread old conversations and analysed every tiny thing she says or posts.
sometimes i miss her like crazy.
sometimes i’m angry at her.
sometimes i think about all the fights, the financial pressure, the breakup threats and the way it feels like everything has been blamed on me and i get really bitter.
then i remember how much she did for me over the years and all the times she actually stood by me and i feel guilty for even being angry with her.
my mind keeps bouncing between:
“maybe i ruined everything”
and
“why am i carrying all the blame for something that clearly had problems on both sides?”
i also keep thinking stupid things like what will everyone think about me now, what if she was the only person i’ll ever love like this, what if i never find anyone else, what if she moves on completely and i’m still stuck here.
my family has been really supportive. my sister basically keeps telling me that i need to stop reacting to every little thing my ex does and start accepting that it’s over.
and honestly i know she’s probably right.
i’m also slowly realising that i don’t need to convince myself that my ex was a horrible person in order to move on.
she wasn’t.
she loved me. she stayed through some really difficult parts of my life. we had something real.
but at the same time i don’t think i should ignore the things that hurt me either just because i still love her.
maybe the relationship was genuinely good and loving for years and still became unhealthy towards the end.
maybe both things can be true.
i think that’s the hardest thing for me to accept.
something can be real, meaningful and full of love and still end.
it’s only been a little over a month since the breakup so maybe i’m expecting myself to be okay way too quickly.
for anyone who has been through a long relationship ending, how did you stop waiting for them to come back?
how did you stop checking if they missed you?
how did you deal with breaking no contact and restarting again?
did you also start noticing things after the breakup that you had been ignoring during the relationship?
and has anyone else struggled with this feeling of:
“when i was at my worst, you were still non-negotiable to me. when you were at your worst, i became something you could let go of.”
how do you make peace with that?
i’m not really looking for ways to make her miss me anymore.
i just want to reach a point where my life doesn’t revolve around whether she does.

I’m about to throw in the towel.
It has been four weeks since my ex and I broke up, and right now I genuinely feel like she is winning in every possible way while I am left carrying all of the damage.
About a week after the breakup, I called her because I needed to bring over some clothes she had left behind. During that conversation, she made a point of telling me how incredibly well she was doing, how happy she was, and how much energy she suddenly had.
Her parents apparently said they had never seen her with this much energy before. She was training constantly, barely spending any time at home, always doing something.
And then she told me about a new guy she had already started talking to.
“He’s really sweet.”
Now four weeks have passed since our breakup, and they are officially together. From what I understand, they have basically been seeing each other since around one week after she left me.
So while I have been trying to understand what the hell happened to my life, she seemingly went straight from our relationship into a new one.
There is also an important detail when it comes to social media.
I am blocked by her on Instagram, Facebook, Messenger, TikTok and on my phone number.
The only reason I was ever able to see her TikTok activity after the breakup was because I had an old fake account.
And this was not some secret account she knew nothing about.
She knew I had it.
I had told her about it while we were still together, and during previous periods where we broke up and got back together, we had even acknowledged that we sometimes checked each other’s reposts.
About a week after this breakup, she indirectly confirmed again that she knew I could still see her TikTok.
She had started posting pictures of herself in swimwear and other similar content, and during one of our conversations she asked me whether I was “stalking” her.
I said no.
But the fact that she even asked made it clear to me that she remembered the account and knew there was at least a possibility that I could see what she was posting.
I have deleted that account now because seeing everything became too painful.
But before I deleted it, I saw what she was posting.
And honestly, the intensity of it has completely messed with my head.
Almost everything was about love.
Posts about someone “bringing her spark back.”
Posts about never having felt this way before.
Reposts saying things like “How do you see him?” followed by pictures of weddings, children and an entire future together.
She even made her own post saying, “2026 is going to be my year,” and when you swipe, there is a picture of the two of them standing together in a mirror.
Videos of them driving together.
“I’m so happy to be your girlfriend.”
Constant romantic reposts.
And this is where I start questioning my own perception.
Because I do not know whether this has anything to do with me at all.
Maybe she is simply extremely infatuated and posting exactly what she feels.
Maybe she is in a honeymoon phase and none of it is directed toward me.
But because she knew about the fake TikTok account and knew that I had previously looked at her reposts, part of me cannot help wondering whether there is also some awareness that I might see it.
I even find myself wondering whether knowing that I could potentially see certain posts gives her some kind of validation or emotional reaction.
I do not know if that is true.
I do not want to pretend that I know what is going on inside her head.
But it is something my mind keeps returning to, especially because the posting became so intense and because I was never displayed like this on TikTok when we were together.
Not even close.
And I know how unhealthy it is for me to watch it.
That is exactly why I deleted the account.
But I cannot get the images out of my head.
Because while all of this is happening, I am the one who has had to seek help from a psychologist and a mental coach just to process what happened during our relationship.
I was there through psychiatric treatment with her.
I attended group therapy with her.
I was there during some of her absolute worst moments.
There were times when she screamed at me, insulted me and threw things at me, and instead of leaving, I stayed.
Sometimes I would literally hold her while she was raging at me until she eventually broke down in my arms, crying and telling me that she loved me more than anything.
She told me nobody had ever made her feel as safe as I did.
She talked about wanting a future with me.
Children.
A life together.
And I stayed through things that took an enormous psychological toll on me because I loved her and because I believed that underneath everything that was happening, the person I loved was still there.
That is why this is destroying me so much now.
Because four weeks later, I look at her life from the outside and it looks like I was the problem.
She looks happy.
She is training.
She is constantly doing things.
She has a new boyfriend.
Her family says she has more energy than ever.
Her social media looks like she has found the love of her life.
And I am sitting here trying to rebuild myself.
There was also another situation about a week and a half or two weeks after the breakup that confused me even more.
She called me because she was upset that I had discovered that a rumor I had heard was actually true.
The person involved in the situation had personally confirmed it to me, and she wanted to explain herself.
I met her at the train station at around 10:30 at night.
At that time of night, trains only came approximately every twenty minutes.
She skipped two trains just to continue standing there talking to me.
But during that same conversation, I was repeatedly told how amazing she was doing.
She was happy.
She did not miss me.
She did not really love me anymore.
She was doing better than ever.
At the same time, there was still this strange tension between us.
At one point she grabbed my head, and I grabbed hers.
She looked at me and said:
“You’re the person who can make me the craziest.”
I replied, “Likewise.”
She suddenly had this huge smile on her face.
I joked, “Well, someone just got flashbacks to our sex life.”
And she completely lit up, smiling and almost unable to contain herself.
I know meeting her was probably a mistake.
But she called because she was upset, and the truth is that I missed her too.
What I cannot understand is how somebody can go from everything we had — everything we went through, everything she told me, all the plans for the future — directly into another relationship within what feels like days.
And there is another part of this that I am almost embarrassed to admit because I know how irrational it sounds.
I am terrified that she is going to change completely for him.
That somehow every problem we had disappears.
That everything I went through was somehow necessary for her to become the perfect version of herself for the next person.
That she suddenly becomes completely stable, builds the perfect life, has children with him and gives him everything I fought so hard for.
She also lives with paranoid schizophrenia, which added another very complicated layer to our relationship and to everything we went through together.
I understand intellectually that a person’s mental health, relationship patterns and deeper issues do not simply disappear because they meet someone new.
But emotionally, that is exactly what I am afraid of.
And I keep questioning the TikTok situation too.
Why is this relationship being displayed so intensely?
Especially on TikTok?
I was never posted like this.
Not even close.
And she knows that TikTok was the one place where I used to watch her reposts.
So part of my brain keeps wondering whether some of this is consciously or subconsciously directed at me.
Is it possible that she genuinely feels intensely in love with this person while at the same time knowing that displaying it could hurt me?
Could both things be true at the same time?
Or am I desperately trying to find meaning in something that has absolutely nothing to do with me anymore?
Maybe she really is completely infatuated.
Maybe this really does feel like the greatest relationship in the world to her right now.
I honestly do not know.
That uncertainty is destroying me.
Right now I feel like I am standing alone in a completely dark room and I cannot tell which direction is up or down.
I feel like she won.
She got to walk away, start over, be happy and apparently become this new version of herself.
And I got left with the anxiety, the memories, the questions and the psychological consequences of everything that happened.
For people here who have gone through breakups involving BPD traits, severe mental health issues or similar relationship dynamics:
Have you experienced something like this?
Did your ex also seem unbelievably happy and completely transformed immediately after the breakup?
Did they enter a new relationship almost instantly and present it as if they had finally found everything they had ever wanted?
Did you ever feel as though their social media was partly meant to be seen by you, even when you were blocked?
And how did you learn to tell the difference between what was actually happening in their life and what your traumatized brain was trying to interpret from social media?
Most importantly:
How did you stop feeling like they “won”?
Because right now, I am struggling to believe that there is another side to this.
I just want to understand how I get there.

**Hi Reddit, first time posting here, so please be kind. English is my third language ❤**️
My boyfriend is breaking up with me, and I honestly don’t know what to do.
Some background: Me 25F BF 25 M We’ve been together for exactly one year today, actually. But for the past month or so, we’ve been struggling a lot and having arguments almost every day.
Most of the arguments started because I was reacting to the way he was acting towards me. I felt like he was becoming distant and that we weren’t on the same page anymore. I don’t know the exact English expression for it, but I felt like we couldn’t meet each other halfway.
I kept feeling like I needed more from him — more affection, more attention, more time together. I would tell him what I needed or ask him to do certain things differently. Looking back, I can understand how that might have felt controlling or like I was constantly complaining.
But the reason I was reacting so much was because I felt like I was losing him.
We actually live together, but for a while now it has felt more like we’re roommates than a couple. We don’t really spend quality time together. We’ll eat together, but we’re both on our phones. We’ll sit together, but we’re both on our phones. I’ve been bringing this up for a while because I genuinely just wanted to feel connected to him again.
What I didn’t know was that he has been struggling a lot with work.
He’s been under a lot of stress because of the responsibilities he has now, and apparently he’s been in his own head about it for quite some time. But he never really told me. Whenever I asked how he was feeling or how his day was, I would mostly get “I’m tired” or “it was a long day.”
So while he was struggling with work and becoming more distant because of it, I thought the distance was because of me. I thought he was upset with me, losing feelings for me, or that something was wrong between us.
And because I didn’t understand what was actually going on, I reacted to the distance. I complained about not spending time together, asked for more affection, and kept trying to figure out what was wrong.
Now he has told me that all of my complaining became too much for him. He says that because I was constantly reacting and asking him to change things, he felt like I couldn’t change, and he started mentally preparing himself to leave the relationship.
And now we’ve broken up. Or more accurately, he broke up with me.
The hardest part for me is that I feel like I never got the chance to show him that I could have handled things differently.
If I had known how much he was struggling with work, I genuinely believe I would have reacted differently. I wouldn’t have taken his distance so personally. I would have understood that he was stressed and overwhelmed. I would have listened to him, supported him, and been there for him instead of constantly wondering why he was pulling away from me.
I’m not saying I did everything right. I know I have things I need to work on. I know constantly complaining and asking someone to love me a certain way isn’t healthy, and I can see that now.
But I also feel hurt because I asked him so many times if he was okay. I asked how he was feeling. I tried to understand what was going on. I just never got the full answer.
He never gave me the opportunity to understand what he was going through, and now he feels like it’s too late.
I’m having such a hard time accepting that I’m losing him. I love him so much, and I really want to fight for our relationship. I want to show him that I can change the way I communicate and that I can be a better partner.
But I also feel like he has already made up his mind, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can do anymore.
What would you do in my situation? Would you fight for the relationship and ask for another chance, or would you respect his decision and let him go?
I’m honestly heartbroken and could really use some perspective.

There is no going back.

Once the respect is gone, the attraction dies the love fades and you just become ordinary. I can never trust you again not because I’m bitter, but because you showed me that your character is fluid based on your convenience I exhausted myself giving you chances. I painted your red flags white just to keep you in the picture. I really try but you didn’t do right by me. You took a person who was all in and you taught her exactly how to be indifferent and honestly, I don’t hate you. Hate takes passion. Hate is an investment and my bank is closed. I don’t want you to be in pain. I actually hope you win. I hope you finally become the person you pretended to be. I just need to do it way over there far away from my peace. You are evicted from my energy. I forgive you truly I am canceling the debt, but forgiveness does not mean reentry it just means I’m done collecting, but I can never look at you the same. The version of you I loved is dead. I am looking at a stranger with a familiar face. There is no bad blood. The bridge is burning. It’s just closed. I simply stopped walking down past that lead to nowhere

​

28F, 29M — together for 2 years

My boyfriend and I have been together for around two years. The first year was a casual relationship, and since February, we became officially committed. For the most part, our relationship was beautiful, although we did have quite a lot of arguments and fights.

About a month ago, we had a major fight, and I said some things that really hurt him. After that, he decided to end the relationship. I was devastated and kept asking him to give me another chance. I told him that I was willing to work on myself and change the things that were hurting our relationship.

He says that he is completely emotionally exhausted and that he no longer has feelings for me. Yesterday, after I asked him to meet me, we finally met. He cried a lot and explained how deeply my words had hurt him. I told him again that I wanted to work on our relationship, but he said he isn't ready and that I should move on.

I've also spoken to three astrologers, and all three told me that there will be a reconciliation between us in the future.

I'm struggling to accept the breakup because I still love him and genuinely feel that our relationship could potentially be repaired. At the same time, I don't want to pressure him or make things worse.

For people who have experienced something similar, how did you handle giving an ex space while still having feelings for them? Did giving them space eventually help you get clarity about whether the relationship could be rebuilt?

I'd really appreciate hearing about other people's experiences.

I’m struggling with something and I’d really appreciate some outside perspective.
A few weeks ago, I saw my ex again after about four months of not seeing each other. I was the one who ended the relationship because of some problems I won’t go into here. At the time, I don’t think I fully understood what breaking up actually meant for me.
Seeing him again brought everything back. I realized that I still love him deeply and that I never really stopped caring about him. Since then, I’ve been thinking about him constantly and wishing we could be together again.

We have talked and spent some time together recently. He told me that he is disappointed and hurt by some things that happened after our breakup, and I completely understand why. I regret hurting him and I’ve apologized.
The confusing part is that his behavior sometimes makes me feel like he still has feelings for me. He seems to enjoy talking to me, he has said that I’m still important to him, and there have been moments where we’ve been physically affectionate. At the same time, he says that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me right now.

He says he needs time and has even mentioned something as long as a year. He also seems genuinely confused about his feelings. I don’t know whether he still loves me but is afraid to try again, or whether he cares about me but simply doesn’t want a relationship anymore.
I told him honestly that I still love him, that I want us to get back together, and why I still want to be with him. What I really want from him now is an honest answer about whether he still has romantic feelings for me and whether he can ever see us being together again. I can understand needing time before actually getting back together, but staying in complete uncertainty for months or potentially a year is very difficult for me (and it is in general because he is the only thing i can focus on).

If he ultimately tells me that he doesn’t want to get back together, I don’t want to completely lose him either. I would still want to talk to him, see him, and potentially become friends. The problem is that I still love him, so I don’t know whether being friends would actually be healthy for me or whether I would just spend all my time hoping he changes his mind.
I know people will probably tell me to “move on,” but emotionally I’m not there. I genuinely want to try again with him, while also respecting that he has his own feelings and choices.

What would you do in this situazioni?
Would you ask for a clear answer about his feelings, or give him the time he says he needs? And if he ultimately says he doesn’t want a relationship, is it possible to stay close friends when one person is still in love?