u/haley_fox

One of my coworkers who I thought I was friends with, approached me today and said very sternly that I pose a threat to him and to his family. He told me never to speak to him except for immediate work related things. I asked how exactly I was threatening towards him and he said it was of a sexual nature.

Obvs this scared the crap out of me. I'm happy with my partner, I haven't done anything at all to this dude. In fact, I even have his motorcycle because I was working on it for him. We were friends.

But now that he knows I'm trans, now I'm dangerous. He issued me this warning to just stay away from him, apparently after speaking with his wife and his lawyer. The whole thing I guess threatens his livelihood, he literally said that being friends with someone like me is the equivalent of hosting a kids pool party and losing your home insurance. (What??)

The whole experience was weird. I plan on bringing his bike to work so he can retrieve it and just avoiding the crazy.

I know I've posted in here a couple times throughout the past few days, but I've been on a roll. I'm coming out mtf, I'm nearly five months on HRT.

Almost all my close friends have been told in person. My somewhat important acquaintances have been texted. I wrote my mom a card. I've told my boss and direct coworkers. The only thing left is to make the big social media post informing all my customers and distant family, and change my name on there.

My mom wants nothing to do with me. My boss doesn't care as long as work gets done. My friends have been supportive, most of them knew. I thought I kept it pretty hidden but I guess I was eggy. My long term gf apparently knew before we even dated, eleven years before I decided to transition.

I expect to lose customers, I expect to lose even more family (most of them didn't like me already for reasons I don't even know). But I'm feeling good about it.

Edit for clarity: I work full time in a non customer facing position, I also run my own business on the side. Loss of customers will only affect me, not my boss or my regular job!

I (32mtf) told my mom that I'm transitioning. I sent her a note in the mail. She read it and called me; she thought it was a prank, AND mentioned that she disagreed with it, said I was meant to be a boy. Called me some names. Ultimately at the end of the call she was still convinced it was a prank.

For perspective, the call honestly went a lot better than I expected it to. But now I haven't heard from my mom all day, and we usually call every day. Should I give her some space or reach out in the morning? Dunno what to even say.

As the title states... My mom has shown herself to be transphobic in the past, so I wrote a letter (a greeting card actually) and sent it to her. It just said I've been transitioning since x date and this is my new name.

She just called me. Thinks it's a prank. Called me a "dirty little boy" and started going off about how my kids will hate me. She wasn't as mad as I expected.

I fully expect a torrent of phone calls tomorrow from family I never hear from and various forgotten cousins. She needs time to sleep on it and subsequently spread the word I'm sure. That's if she moves past the thought of it being a prank.

Yeah so this may be a weird question and I didn't know if it belonged here or in a bicycling sub. But to the cyclists, whether you're a commuter or a hard core type or if you just ride on the occasional nice day:

Did you get a "woman's" bike when you transitioned? Or did you just stick with whatever you would normally have ridden? I'm kinda partial to my old beat up fixie. It's a diamond frame, black in color, no frills, one brake, traditionally it would be considered a "man's" bicycle. (I have opinions about all that but this isn't the time or the place lmao.)

So I have no plans on abandoning my baby again... I did sell it once... But what did y'all do?

Before I started transitioning, I pored over every month to month update post that I could find. I'm writing this out in the hopes it helps someone else in some way! I am 32, active, blue collar worker and avid cyclist. I take 4mg oral estradiol in the AM and 4mg in the PM, 100mg spiro in the AM and 100mg in the PM. I was started out on smaller doses and gradually increased per my endo. I'm also taking finasteride to help with my hair loss.

Note: I used to drink one Monster every day. I found about three hours after the Monster, I would get extremely dizzy and get tunnel vision, etc. This turned out to be some reaction between the drink and the spiro. I quit all energy drinks, I have the occasional soda or a coffee and I'm fine. Unsure if this is a me thing or a documented spiro thing, I never read too much into it.

My sense of smell has gotten stronger. A lot of people also report this, I expected it, but not to this degree. I'm like a bloodhound. Certain smells now make me physically ill, whereas before I wouldn't notice them, or not even be bothered. Also when fueling up the car, gas smells different. Sweeter. Please don't huff gas to prove me some kind of way.

My gait has changed a bit. I always had an awkward gait, so it's something I was/am super aware of. I was 20+ before I had myself trained to walk in a way that didn't destroy the front inner and rear outer of all my shoes. Now I'm finding myself having to pay attention to that again. It's hard to explain and probably just a me thing, but I'm including it here because it's happening.

I find that I stand up for myself more now. Before everything I was more passive, kinda let people walk all over me. Lately I really don't like it, I do something about it! On the same note, I feel a lot happier, others have even pointed out that I don't look sad all the time anymore... Something I never noticed anyway. Friends and family have said I'm easier to get along with.

When I get hungry, I get HUNGRY. I used to be able to just ignore it, that's not happening now. I'm really having to watch that I don't overeat. On that note, I've lost weight, but gained fat. Pretty sure it's muscle loss. Had to go out a belt loop (same belt, ten years!), I have some barely visible stretch marks on my thighs and butt. I've been riding the bike more to try and counter the muscle loss a bit.

My hairline is making a bit of a recovery. Nothing major, I'm almost able to tell the difference in pre hrt photos.

Breast growth is subtle and slow, but there. I'm having to wear undershirts/sports bras. Yes people noticed. Someone pulled me aside and said "it's time for you to get a bra." So that was awesome and awkward at the same time. I bought a 3 pack of sports bras the same day.

My face is a bit different. Not as rugged, but I still look like a dude. My eye shape has changed slightly and cheeks are fuller. Facial hair, interestingly, slowed down from months 1-3, but I think the growth actually sped back up a few weeks ago. I haven't done laser yet but I'm planning to do it around the end of summer.

I'm sure there is more... This is already a wall of text though! For most of you, this is useless info but again I hope it helps someone who is nervous or just wants to read it!

EDIT TO ADD MORE:

My energy levels tanked at first. I really do mean it, too. I cannot describe how tired I was. Gradually it has come back, I'm not too far below my old energy levels.

Body odor is a really big subject people always touch on. Everyone says it goes away. It does! For a bit. Now after sweating all day, I stink, but differently. I went a couple months without needing deodorant at all but now I need it again. I also went through a phase, right after upping my spiro dosage, where I would sweat profusely. That seems to be winding down quite a bit now. Granted I'm not very heat tolerant to begin with.

I'm an incredibly awkward 32yo. My mom has shown me that she can be transphobic in the past, but lately she has been supportive of other family members that have come out.... as gay, mind you. Not trans. I'm the only one in the family, that I know of.

I really don't know how it's gonna go. I tried calling, I've visited in person, I couldn't work myself into saying it. I'm several months on HRT now and she knows *something* is up, but not what.

So I decided I'll get a greeting card that says "it's a girl!!" And I'm gonna write a note inside to clarify my gf is not pregnant, briefly state that I'm trans and taking hormones, and sign it with my new name.... Then I'm gonna drop that puppy in the mail and wait for her to call me about it.

Thoughts?? (really hoping someone will tell me if this is too deranged or not tbh)

It was a weird experience. I went to him privately in his office and he just said "okay, well that's your thing then." And went back to work. So. Idk what to do now. Lmao. I guess I have to handle everything? Tell coworkers myself?

I'm not very far into my transition, I stopped a long time ago and restarted only a couple months back. I haven't told anyone at work because my insurance is paying for it, not sure what will happen when I do, and I wanna keep the money train rolling as long as I can. Nobody from work has seen me present as fem.

My coworker made a big show of inhaling deeply when I came into the area he was in, asking why I smell *like that.* (Which happened almost immediately after I noticed my own scent to be different.)

One day it had started cold and got warm out, typical southern indecisive weather, and I hadn't yet taken off my hoodie. He says "bit warm, ain't it? ... unless you're hiding something under there."

Randomly started using "he or her" to describe me ie "you might just be the guy or girl that does [job, task, or other activity]."

The whole thing feels like a psyop and it's weirding me out. I work directly with him and there's no way to address this without outing myself OR denying I'm trans, which tbh I've spent long enough denying. Although I did straight up ask him what he's trying to imply with all this and he just kinda acted like it was normal talk.