Vent - had to ask a trans woman her pronouns, invalidated the both of us.
It was sprung on us in a paired-up group setting that we had to introduce the other party, including their exact pronouns, to the group but we weren't told to discuss them beforehand. I am nonbinary and dysphoric, then using they/them pronouns but still “girlmoding”. My assigned partner was an alternatively-styled woman, and I didn’t realize she was trans at the time. I panicked and asked her for her pronouns in front of her group, because from her style I thought she could be using a mix of pronouns, and I wanted to make sure she’d ask for mine back. God, I was so anxious. I feel terrible for not going about it in a discreet way.
It feels strange, in retrospect, to have to publicly suggest another person's gender identity, possibly outing them in the process. I don't know.