u/veeveestar

I’m starting to socially transition and figure my gender out better, and I’m going by they/she for the first time. Like if you want to use just one use they/them, but I still like she/her sometimes.

I am pretty feminine rn, with both my presentation and my features, and I know that people will default to she/her and I won’t be able to stop it once it’s started.

From what I’ve heard teachers do give opportunities to share pronouns and Im probably just gonna say “they/she, but mainly they” and hope that works. I could also use they/them for introductions and just tell friends? Idk. Any other they/she’s (or they/hes) out there what do y’all do

I mainly heard that it’s an exclusive term for years so I stayed away from it, but recently I’ve seen people say otherwise. I’m wondering what the consensus is. I do have adhd and gad and I suspect autism but it’ll probably be a while till I can see someone about it. I definitely have hyperfixations, but I’ve had several longer lasting interests that are very different from them and line up with the term and the experiences of people who use it. It’s the best descriptor I have but I’m not sure if it would be okay to use it

I’m starting at a new high school soon, and I’m considering being more open about my gender (maybe using they/them and a gender neutral nickname). The thing is that I have no idea what to expect and the uncertainty is killing me. Most of my life I’ve gone to a private christian school, and I don’t know any openly nonbinary people irl. All I have to go off of is online, which obviously isn’t gonna be the same as high school.

How do you actually tell people? How did teachers take it? Do you stand out or get weird looks and comments? How did you tell people your name or pronouns, especially if you’re not androgynous? How did your parents take it, especially if they’re the “confused but trying” type or the “I’m not transphobic, but…” type?

I’m mostly just trying to understand what day to day life actually looked like for other people at first, and what specific problems I have to be prepared for

I’m 16 and I’ve been with my new therapist for a month or two. I really like her, my only complaint would be that it’s hard to actually bring up topics or get good insight sometimes since I can be a people pleaser. I’d like to bring up some things but I have no idea how that’d look. I did tell her a bit about being suicidal in middle school, but nothing past that.

I’ve self harmed on and off at varying severities throughout the past year. I did it worse at first and I have some pretty bad scars from then, but mostly it’s been minor stuff. I’ve been better since I’ve started seeing her, and I’ve only done very small things about three times I think. Sometimes I do want to hurt myself really bad or even die, but it’s pretty rare and I don’t think I’d ever act on it. I’m realizing now that it’s definitely still a lingering thing that I never actually worked through though.

I can see it going both ways if I tell her. I really just want to be able to talk about since it feels like this huge thing that’s holding me back, but I don’t thing I can bring myself to do it unless I’m sure it’d be fine. I’m worried about her telling my parents or making me tell them since she knows I have a good relationship with them. I’m not too worried about hospitalization since it’s minor things that I want to stop, but idk. I’ve planned on telling her a few times but I keep getting nervous and backing out.

Can other people please tell me about their experiences with this? Especially as a minor. People say so many different things about this and I have no idea what that’d actually look like. Please convince me that it’s gonna be fine and I should do it