r/NonBinaryTalk

Hey everyone,
I’m posting here because I’m feeling a bit lost and I really need some wisdom, advice, or just someone to talk to who might understand. I’ve been trying to figure out my identity lately, and it’s taking me to some really specific, deep places that I’m struggling to categorize.
To put it plainly, here is what’s going on in my head:
I like to think I’m trigender. Experiencing three genders feels right to me.

I feel a strong desire for "threes" in my physical/metaphysical form. Specifically, I feel like I should have a third eye, a third nipple, and three genitals.

I envision myself with three different voices and three different shadows.

I’m at a crossroads because the trigender part feels very rooted in the nonbinary community, but the rest of it—the extra anatomy, the multiple shadows, the different voices—feels like it crosses over into straight-up Otherkin/alterhuman territory.
I guess my questions for you all are:
Is this kind of experience still considered being nonbinary, or is it purely an Otherkin thing?

Can those two identities overlap? Like, is it normal for your gender identity to be tied to a form that isn't entirely human?

Has anyone else experienced a deep connection to a specific number (like three) when it comes to both their gender and how they perceive their ideal body/spirit?

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed trying to find the right language for all of this, and I'd love to hear your perspectives or any advice you have on how to navigate this. Thanks for listening.

Hi folks! I’m currently volunteering in a grade 3/4 class (kids are 9 and 10 years old) Our year end field trip is coming up and we’ll be swimming. I’ve had top surgery and no longer have nipples. I want some funny unhinged thing to say to them when they ask what happened to my chest/ where are my nipples! I know these kids and they are 100% going to ask and I love being silly with them! So hit me with your best explanations lol

For labels I've used: cis, non-binary, genderfluid, agender, genderqueer and femboy. I like femboy but it's become way too sexual for me (I'm also ace)

For pronouns I've used: they/them, it/it's, she/her, he/him, any/all, or mixture. And honestly I get kinda confused online as to who exactly they're referring to when people change the pronouns they use for me.

For feelings I've felt: fem (light-heavy) neutral/non-binary (light-heavy) nothing (light-heavy) masc (light-medium) and a mixture of all or some at the same time.

For presentation i want to be fem and androgynous or just whatever I'm wearing. Being fem or androgynous gives me euphoria sometimes.

For my body i feel okay with myself because I'm pretty fem already, I have a few features I don't like but it's whatever.

I'm AMAB and I do think the fact that I am plays into how I see myself and maybe how others see me and that might be the only social thing I get anything out of?

I really don't know what to do with any of this 😥

Idk how to communicate it or what things I can do to get the right "vibe" across to people.

I said that I'm ace but I'm also aegosexual which means i still watch porn and enjoy it but it's kinda in a really detached way and I also kinda feel gender the same way...

(TW: this post includes a lot of internalised queerphobia. for context, i was raised in a devoutly religious household that believed in God-given gender roles, especially in marriage (men being the protectors & providers and women being the submissive helpers), and implanted strictly homophobic & transphobic beliefs in me ever since i've heard the word "gay". my background wasn't mentioned in the actual text, but i'm sure those old beliefs will shine through somehow.)

(i think my problem is mostly internalised transphobia, but i need to be affirmed of it because if i keep it to myself, i think i'm just gonna go insane. this rant is absurd enough already.)

i identify as non-binary (as an umbrella term) & genderfluid, and i am AFAB. as of writing this, i am in a non-binary gender.

Am i genderfluid, or is it internalised misogyny 🥹🥹🥹

Am i a woman or is it internalised transphobia 🥹🥹🥹

hmmm decisions decisions

I like femininity. I've always liked femininity, and that's something I've never denied, but the thing is, do i want to be feminine in a way a woman is? i don't think so, but how could i know for sure? i think that i like femininity as a shallow, general concept mixed in with a shit ton, landfill amount of androgyny...but maybe i'm lying to myself and i just like femininity in the same way a woman is, and i don't want to identify with it because i just hate women, apparently.

i've always disliked the concept of masculinity on myself. i've always found it gross and disgusting and ugly. as a young kid, i found "man" as a gender gross, disgusting, and ugly (at least to some extent), until i realised they could be feminine. and I realised that i could be a feminine man. or that i could mix femininity with masculinity in a certain way to create a version of androgyny that i really enjoy. but do i want all these things, or do i just want to be a woman? i feel like simply being confined to “woman” is so limiting and dull, but do i really think that way in a nonbinary sense or in a “women are lesser than” sense? i mean, i think that i feel the same way for being a man as well, as in, being confined to being a man would also be limiting, dull, restricting, and boring. probably more so since being a Man in people’s eyes includes all these overly masculine traits and appearances that i've never liked -- buff muscle guy, beard, i don't know. but i don't think that i've ever felt this way about rejecting femininity until i discovered the internet or the existence of multi-genders/non-binary genders, so am i being brainwashed by the "woke internet transgender agenda" and overcomplicating things for myself and making up my dysphoria to feel cool, special, trendy, and unique? i don't know. i don't think so, and i don't want to, but i don't know if i can trust what i say about this. would i be lying and tricking myself, or would i just be plain wrong? i think it would be much simpler and fitting for me to just be a girl, so why am i so resistant to that? why can't i just accept what i am for what it is? i like being feminine, i like pretty things, i like being expressive, i like all these girly things, so why cant i just shut up and enjoy being a girl? i know being a woman isn't just being girly. i personally don't care about societal roles or how i'm supposed to act in accordance with them (even if i do often end up acting in line with stereotypical "girl roles"), and i try my best to detach my views of women from gender roles, too. I believe women can be masculine, strong, assertive, ugly, and gross, and they are still women. I don't believe that women are inherently submissive, emotional, weak housewives who exist for men’s pleasure and convenience. i believe in women’s rights, significance, humanity, and independence, so why wont i just accept that i am one? But being a woman is still being a gender. Being a woman still means being a woman, and i for some reason just don't want to be one. i could tick off every box that requires someone to be a woman, but i just feel so resistant to it. Why? does that make me bad? Do i secretly, subconsciously believe women are gross and inferior? why don't i want to be a woman? i like being feminine, i like dressing up, i like skirts, i like ruffles and lace, and i like all those pretty girly ethereal princessy things,, i like all those stereotypical things associated with being a woman, so why do i hate the thought of ALWAYS being one so much? why does it feel so limiting and constraining and dull? am i choosing to be genderfluid? am i choosing to be queer and transgender? i've never felt dysphoria before hearing about it. as a kid, i used to be proud to be a woman, to be a girl. why had that changed? maybe it could be attributed to my gender inherently being fluid (as per the label "gender fluid"), but would that be true? the closest thing to “dysphoria” i felt during my childhood was a weird, subtle sense that something about my name wasn't right, and that something about my little self-insert personas that i drew never stuck, but how can i say that's dysphoria when the same feeling still remains? am i secretly content with being a woman and have made up dysphoria because ive hung around in “misleading” queer spaces so much that ive become “indoctrinated” and convinced im one of them? i know for sure if i was born a man, there’s a good chance i would be a transgender woman, but why am i not a woman when i was born one? do i wanna rebel that badly? do i wanna feel special so bad? do i have some unknown internal belief that women are always supposed to be feminine and soft, and i feel limited by that (probably not, seeing that i enjoy the concept of soft femininity...)? i could be everything a woman is, but i don't wanna be. Why? am i bad for it? am i faking being non-binary? am i faking being gender-fluid? do i need to detransition right now? will i detransition in the future? i don't want to detransition, but i'm afraid that i will. i don't want to be a fraud, but i'm afraid that i might be.

i also think i've recently been growing resentful and bitter toward the concept of men and women because of how i feel so diluted and restricted in either one. i think i'm growing resentful to gender in general. i hate when i see snippets of people online, and all i can gauge from them isn’t the intricacies of themselves and the lovely human they are, but the veil that is gender this tight, sticky, gross, skin-ripping suit-costume of gender presentation. i fucking despise it because it just makes me feel dysphoric, and therefore, disgusted. i really hope that won't ever translate into me hating other people, or even worse, becoming a misogynistic, sexist, transphobic incel... think i just to be secure in my own gender, honestly…

am I ALlowed to have a Gender🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😁😁😁😁😁🤤

(it also might be worthwhile to mention that i eventually want to become more androgynous)

tl;dr: If i like feminine girly things but i don’t want to be seen as a girl, does that mean i hate women and believe they are inferior (general) 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 what a logical thought process we got here am i right, keyboard warriors of reddit (/j on that last line)

Hi, I've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half now, and I've been very specific about my labels, i.e. I like being a girlfriend, and I am a lesbian, but I'm not a woman or a man, and one day I will be a dad to my kids. This has all remained the same, but recently she mentioned I've referred to myself as a women more than when we first started dating and asked if my feelings about my gender are the same. I told her the truth, that I feel the same as I always have, and that I appreciate her checking in. (To be clear, in reference to myself I choose to switch around with gendered terms a lot instead of sticking to one set. Especially given they/them and non-binary labels have sort of become a third gender sort of thing among cis people, but I don't feel like any gender at all and feel that using all pronouns and a mixture of labels has made me feel most myself.)

I've noticed before that I have been acting more feminine recently, and I don't know if it has anything to do with my girlfriend or our relationship. I'm definitely kind of a twink, even as a masc lesbian, and my girlfriend is stronger and tends to take on a more stereotypical role that people may assume I would. I've found myself definitely being more feminine in the way we interact and I don't mind it, or think it makes me less non-binary, but it is something that makes me worry others might use that as a way to invalidate my gender. I have felt a lot of people seem to feel I'm sort of going to "figure out" my gender eventually, but it feels definitely already figured out to me. My girlfriend has never made me feel that way and has been nothing but perfect about my gender and how I choose to express it.

I guess what I'm trying to work out is if this is something other people can relate to? Having to combat with people's very binary way of looking at expressions of gender and feeling like you can't just be yourself outside of that without it somehow effecting your gender?

And if anyone else has acted more feminine or masculine in a relationship, how has that effected your feelings about expressions of gender with your partner and outside of them?

So if I take like half dose T, can I like put T cream on my ehem… lil friend… to maximize growth or will it not do anything? Okay yay pls answer if you know this stuff :)

Hi! I’m gonna have a little dysphoric rant here cause I don’t really have anyone in my life to say any of this too

So I’m really early in figuring out how I feel about my gender, I’ve had a close friend try out they/them pronouns with me as an experiment and it made me feel good in a way I can’t really describe.

I’m AMAB and struggling with just having a male body. Primarily right now I’m suffering hair loss, not crazy but there’s defs a balding spot on my crown and thinning on my temples. A lot of the discourse among men is to just “shave it off” but the idea of being bald makes me really sad.

Ive always have long hair and I do now, I like it. It makes me feel nice and androgynous. I’d be happy to cut it a little shorter, I’ve got kind of a “punk” vibe, I guess?? I wear a lot of denim and band shirts. I was thinking of maybe doing a half shaved look but the thinning at the temples might make it look really weird. I dunno, I guess I’m just disheartened, I’ve discovered and accepted this part of myself despite the homo/transphobic upbringing but now I feel more trapped in my body than ever.

This is disjointed, but I guess I’m just trying to get it out. I keep going through hair loss treatment and it all seems so snake oil-esque, predatory

*sigh* anyone have any suggestions for hair styles that could work for thinning hair that isn’t shaved? If not I guess just some advice for coping with your hormones demolishing your confidence

so hello fella non binary fellas i have been thinking abt it a while and ive been thinking abt it and think that im one but here comes the problem i am male look male asf i dress queit male too (im gay btw for now) butbdress comfy as in terms of male clothing but idk i dontlike labels and have wurite a hate on it bc of personal reasons that i cant explain and im a bit lost can somebody help maybe?

My body is feminine and consequently my face is too, but I refuse to cut my hair (it covers my butt), I have no idea how to look androgynous in that way, could someone help?

I'm trying to figure out how to articulate this...

When I first started using they/them pronouns, it felt euphoric no matter who used those pronouns for me. It still feels euphoric depending on who uses my pronouns. But after a while, I noticed a difference in the way it felt when certain people used my preferred pronouns. In the early days, I was just so grateful to anyone who made an effort. I still am even though it's the bare minimum. But every once in a while someone, a coworker, neighbor, well-meaning family member, will correctly gender me, but it feels the same as being she/her'd (herred?). It's like I can still see the label "girl" in their eyes...and it just wounds me. I know most people will never truly see us. Whether or not people understand or accept gender diversity it's more of a reflection on them (and patriarchy) than it is me. But it still cuts a little bit every time.

Does anyone else ever feel dysphoria when certain people use your specified pronouns? If so, why do you think that is?

I’ve always had very conflicting feeling with my gender. I (amab) used to think I might be a trans woman and then feel completely different the next day. Im also gay so I thought that was where my need to feel feminine came from. Media featuring trans women has always connected with me but it’s always felt like there’s something missing. Even modernly I feel like gender fluidity is relatively less talked about. I just feel weird all the time. Being gender fluid is really hard to come out as especially since I don’t feel like anyone would believe me or just care at all. Even writing this is really hard. I can’t imagine telling someone I feel like a girl; I have huge beard because I hate my face so anyone would just look at me and think I’m being silly. The days I feel like a man I can love myself; when I feel like a girl I just want to die because no one could ever see me as one. I have some girl clothes and I think I look really cute in them; I feel so afraid of anyone seeing me. I’m gonna try to wear the flowery top I have tomorrow when I go grocery shopping. I feel like I need to to stop this drowning feeling.

i haven't done this since i announced myself as a (very young) teenage girl on reddit asking for a penpal to practice my spanish with

(guess how that went)

a little bit about me:

20NB living out of the midwest USA, which is famously a very bustling place for queer people. online uni student, professional artist (occasionally) working in the indie animation industry (tho usually just end up doing freelance gigs)/content creation, huge cinephile, i love reading, was at one point very active in LGBTQ activism and Eco activism in my state but life gets in the way. basically putting my life on hold while i try to save up money to make a change.

even though i'm super involved in a lot of the local communities i've struggled a lot to make real connections with people for a variety of reasons, one being that irl friendships can feel like a lot of pressure for me in the early stages. or like, already established friend groups that i always seem to get to just a little too late to feel comfortable.

if that sounds like you, i have two ideas:

1. dm me/comment and we can talk

2. if multiple people comment we can make a discord server with a small group of people to alleviate some social pressure

and

3. by acknowledging the possibility that no one will respond to this post within the post, i dont have to feel any rejection. thanks tony tulathimutte for the idea

hello divas I want to share something I'm a gender fluid person which means I like more androgynous look and also want my body to be androgynous but I have gyno and I don't know why I find it very sexy is anyone here with a similar experience?

I truly didn't think that was a thing. I will try to keep it as vague as possible since I don't want to make the people known, but basically I recently went to a trans community that had a majority of binary trans people. In my previous experiences with it, I never had to deal with issues in face to face interactions.

Then... Well, it happened. To my surprise, that isn't an internet thing. Targetted transphobia towards nonbinary and gender noncomforming trans people is a thing.

I won't get into too much details, but I can say that it can be summed up as (tw: transphobia) >! a lack of recognition of nonbinary people in the LGBT community, on the issues we face and the idea that we are the reason transphobia is a thing.!<

I'm being vague because the actual words I heard were far worse than that. It wasn't subtle. It was explicit, obvious and clear. No room for misunderstanding. I wish that wasn't the case, but it was.

I'm exhausted after all that happened, really. I have no plans of being near this group again. I have better things to do than to explain to trans people that I'm trans.

Hi folks. I’m non-binary, and I’ve recently had a conversation with my parents about my gender. My parents are supportive and curious about my identity and have been asking some good questions, mostly about the difference between gender and gender roles. For instance, I’m AFAB, and mom especially is having a hard time understanding the difference between being a masculine woman and a non-binary person. She grew up in a culture with a lot of gendered expectations that she defied, and so I think she can understand parts of my experience (ie feeling constricted by gender roles), but I’m having a hard time explaining how not fitting gender roles and the associated distress about ill-fitting expectations is different than having gender dysphoria. If I had to condense her confusion into a single question, it would be “If gender is a social construct, how is it different than gender roles?“

I’m finding that I have a hard time putting it into words myself. There IS a difference, and it’s the felt sense of gender. But that’s hard to express to cis people — I think a lot of cis people don’t feel their gender often (or at least don’t notice it), because it matches with their sex and often with social expectations. It doesn’t cause friction, so they just … don’t think about it. Thus, it’s hard for them to grasp.

I want to note that my parents are very willing to use the language that I feel most comfortable with, and they are open to my experiences. (I’m very lucky, I know!). So this isn’t a ”justify why we need to use different name/pronouns/words” conversation. They get that they need to respect it, even if they don’t understand it. But since they love me, they WANT to understand my internal experience, and I’m having a hard time explaining it.

I’m wondering if anyone has any metaphors, frameworks, examples, or strategies of explaining the felt sense of gender, which is subtly distinct from society’s gender roles? Have any of you had success explaining gender to cis people, who don’t experience the friction between identity and body and perception that makes gender obvious to us?

Tl;dr. I’m having trouble explaining the distinction between gender and gender roles to my (supportive) cis parents, who are curious about my internal experience. Looking for metaphors, examples, or other rhetorical strategies that can help them get it.

this is gonna be a really weird question!! 😿 but here it goes!

just for a little background, i was assigned female at birth and am not undergoing medical transition. being assigned female also includes a wide (i'd say infinite!! 🥲) array of different ways a human being can look, and i happened to get stuck with a very very binary body. i do exercise (i love walking, and yoga, and dancing, and i'm trying pilates but i'm bad at balance so i do fall down a lot! 😅 ), and i am a recovered(?) anorexic, so i'm a little sensitive about food stuff being said to me, but i do eat food sometimes. at any weight, i have a very pear-shaped body, with a relatively-small chest but very wide lower body.

this is all to preface that, when i bring up things related to body or shape, or anything like that, people quickly jump to tell me how to change my body - and i don't blame them, because changing the body is the one thing we're taught is okay to do with the body, as long as it results in a very narrow, binary vision of what a "good" body is at the end of the change. this is not to come across as anti-transition or anything like that!!! i'm super pro-body-modification and pro-bodily-autonomy, including but not limited to body mods (duh! 😅 i'm pierced and tatted), transition in any form, losing or gaining weight/losing or gaining muscle, etc. i'm just bringing this up to preface that, as much as i love that journey for others, my struggle with disordered eating and recovery has taught me that that's just not* *my journey, i can't engage safely with the idea of changing the body from a weight/size perspective and have gotten to a place where i'm okay with that. and medical transition... just isn't for me. i already see my body as agender, and no medical paths really speak to me, plus i am currently unemployed and have health conditions outside of a history of disordered eating, so just in case not wanting it wasn't a good enough reason for me to not transition medically... there we go! it is also inaccessible to me, and you've gotta believe me on that! 😀

but here's the issue, though:

maybe this is just my autism and inability to understand gender and social norms in general, but i feel like there's this sense of... responsibility to others in regards to my own body that i just wish wasn't there, but i can't figure out if i'm actually required to feel that responsibility or not and, if not, i would like to stop feeling it, please!! 🥹

sometimes i can figure out that it’s really not my responsibility and it’s something being imposed on me by others that i truly do not care about or wish to engage in. for example, because i pass as a cishet woman with wide hips, living in a sexist society dictates that people feel comfortable telling me childbirth would be easy for me, and therefore i should undergo it. i think kids are cool and would be interested in WORKING with kids, but i dont wish to have any of my own, and also i know the science on hip size = painless childbirth of multiples is rocky at best, so i can disregard that “responsibility”.

but people still feel empowered to say these things to me, because of their assumptions about my body. so at what point do i have to take responsibility for the fact that this is my body?

THAT’S the part that freaks me out because, as evil and selfish and lazy as this probably is, i don’t WANT to take responsibility for this body. yes, i do all the “right” things to keep it alive, i take it for walks and drink water and keep it clean and stuff, but i feel like the shape of this body is a natural process i shouldn’t be expected to take responsibility for. at every weight, i’ve been pear-shaped. i was just born to be pear-shaped. do i have to take accountability for… having gone through puberty and ending up in a mid-sized body post-eating-disorder? do i have to be held responsible for something natural?

and the thing that trips me up is that it IS natural, but it also goes against my wishes, and it COULD be changed, but the changes don’t appeal to me either. i’m not interested in pursuing weight loss - but when people make inappropriate comments on my weight or how my body stores weight, to what extent am i supposed to step back and hold myself accountable for being of this weight/allowing my body to store weight in this way, and therefore allowing them to make those comments by presenting them with that visual data? if i say it hurts me when people aren’t willing to view me as my true genderless self after coming out to them, and they use my natural body type as an excuse for that transphobia, am i supposed to take accountability for giving them that excuse by not going on T or intentionally changing my body shape through building muscle beyond the muscle i already have or something like that? am i complicit in the ways in which people misinterpret me or dehumanize me based on how they perceive my body (and bodies in general), because i’m “keeping” my body like this?

but im not INTENTIONALLY “keeping” it like this. i’m really just doing what comes naturally. but how do i keep myself accountable for what happens to people in natural bodies like mine, and the fact that a different body WOULD solve the problems i claim bother me so much?

i just want absolution. 😢 which is a very gothy, depeche-mode thing of me to say. 😝🥀 but it’s true!! i feel like this body is dirty and unclean and harmful because it doesn’t accurately represent me and allows people to hurt me. i just want to be absolved of looking like this. i don’t want my body to take away my humanity anymore. i just want to be human in this body: neutral, genderless, free. i just want to be pure, instead of having to hold all this blame for seeing myself in a way that’s apparently diametrically-opposed to how others see me, and not doing the “right” thing and making the outside match the inside, but the thing is *there is no matching the inside*. i don’t think there’s any body that would feel 100% for me, i don’t have a list of wants, i just have a list of don’t-wants, and the good thing is i already don’t have most of them: i wouldn’t have wanted a penis, i’d be worried to sit on it funny and break it, because i never learned how to sit in chairs correctly 😅, i admire musculature on other people but i’ve never wanted to be very muscular myself, i’m fine with my height and wear platform boots anyway, so if i ever decide i’m NOT fine with my height, i can just… put my shoes on, lol. 😆

this is the body i got, and i’m resigned to it, the way i would be any other body. i just want to be pure in my resignation. i just want to be pure in my nothingness. i know it’s selfish to say, but i don’t want to be held accountable anymore. not for something that happened to me naturally. 💔

Getting real tired of the hypocrisy. They will agree that changing sex characteristics makes you transsexual and change sex but when it’s an enby person suddenly it’s not? Hrt changes sex. Gonadectomy does too. Getting rid of secondary sex characteristics you don’t feel matches who you are is a very trans thing to do. But just because it’s not a binary trans man or woman then it’s not trans? It’s not changing sex? It’s suddenly like the dysphoria people experience isn’t real. They treat being trans as more of an ideology, we have research pointing to gender and sex being bimodal and gender incongruence and dysphoria shows it too. They tell us not to transition and just live in extreme discomfort and pain till we kill ourselves

So all of my closest friends and almost all of my direct family now knows I’m queer, but very few of them know I’m non binary or that my pronouns are they/them, and honestly I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let them know without it becoming a massive thing where everyone questions me. I’m gonna break down each of the relationships that scare me when it comes to coming out below.

My brothers: both of my brothers are older than me and while they might be understanding and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, they don’t really care to understand gender identities or anything like that. When we play video games together I might make a feminine appearing character and they immediately question it, something along the lines of “by the way you might wanna change your character model” or “why did you make a girl character?”. It makes me think that if I actually told them I’m enby they wouldn’t understand or they’d just not accept it.

For context we are all tall and black with broad frames, I have dreadlocks that I’m growing out and I’m the tallest of all of us. So I have always been perceived as “man” or “one of the guys”. We live in different countries, so part of me just wants to text them about it and just leave it at that but maybe that’s too impersonal. Idk.

My best friend: I’ve known my best friend for 15 years now. He’s accepting of the fact that I’m queer, but he makes (slightly offensive) jokes about it from time to time, he also makes similar jokes about trans people that I don’t appreciate and I’m very vocal abt that. I recently told him that I live my life in a genderless way and he didn’t really have much of a response. Part of me feels like if I mentioned my pronouns to him he’d just make a joke about it that is slightly insulting and not okay. It kinda hurts to know that that’s probably the case but I love him like a brother and would really want him to understand

Honestly I just want to live authentically as myself, I’m so done hiding from the people closest to me.

So that begs the question, do I just send a text to/call some of them (the people that are overseas) and let them know so we can get it out in the open? Or should I just leave it and let everyone keep referring to me by he/him pronouns. I would love to hear from other perspectives or examples that people have. All advice is welcome 🫶🏿

Like The Fragile album specifically just queers up masculinity and femininity so beautifully for me... I mean the lyrical perspective feels like it channels a wounded masculine sometimes (but sometimes it feels gender fluid or neutral) but the music... fuuuuuck it is sooo queerly gendered to me. (I'm clearly not talking about Trent himself, but the soundscapes)

I listened to it on a mushrooms last year and I really learned a lot experiencing that. I don't really have words for it but it's like this genderless but deeply libidinous animal spirit I can feel resonating in me while experiencing that music.

It's also interesting bc I transitioned in middle age and I'm sort of re-experiencing the fierce power in the distorted rock in a femmine way... it's luscious... and different from the angry-sad doom and gloom place I experienced it pre coming out.

Curious how others feel the music in relation to gender identity? 👩🏿‍🎤🤘🏿🐉🥀🐦‍🔥

I have a really good friend, who I've known for a while now; we meet up a few times a week to hang out. We're both at similar points in transition/lack-of which helps us relate to each other's experiences as nonbinary people.

I'm so happy to have a chill, queer friendship like this. I feel like I can talk openly about my identity with someone who gets it - without pressure to date or explain myself so much.

In the future, I want to make all kinds of queer friends and ensure my friendship a safe space for others. I also want to throw little queer get-togethers where we read books and eat homemade snacks! XP