I don’t think I’ll be able to come out to some of the people closest to me (long rant, sorry)
So all of my closest friends and almost all of my direct family now knows I’m queer, but very few of them know I’m non binary or that my pronouns are they/them, and honestly I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to let them know without it becoming a massive thing where everyone questions me. I’m gonna break down each of the relationships that scare me when it comes to coming out below.
My brothers: both of my brothers are older than me and while they might be understanding and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, they don’t really care to understand gender identities or anything like that. When we play video games together I might make a feminine appearing character and they immediately question it, something along the lines of “by the way you might wanna change your character model” or “why did you make a girl character?”. It makes me think that if I actually told them I’m enby they wouldn’t understand or they’d just not accept it.
For context we are all tall and black with broad frames, I have dreadlocks that I’m growing out and I’m the tallest of all of us. So I have always been perceived as “man” or “one of the guys”. We live in different countries, so part of me just wants to text them about it and just leave it at that but maybe that’s too impersonal. Idk.
My best friend: I’ve known my best friend for 15 years now. He’s accepting of the fact that I’m queer, but he makes (slightly offensive) jokes about it from time to time, he also makes similar jokes about trans people that I don’t appreciate and I’m very vocal abt that. I recently told him that I live my life in a genderless way and he didn’t really have much of a response. Part of me feels like if I mentioned my pronouns to him he’d just make a joke about it that is slightly insulting and not okay. It kinda hurts to know that that’s probably the case but I love him like a brother and would really want him to understand
Honestly I just want to live authentically as myself, I’m so done hiding from the people closest to me.
So that begs the question, do I just send a text to/call some of them (the people that are overseas) and let them know so we can get it out in the open? Or should I just leave it and let everyone keep referring to me by he/him pronouns. I would love to hear from other perspectives or examples that people have. All advice is welcome 🫶🏿