u/Fuzzy-Ad-7691

My friend moved down here from New Jersey and she often bragged about how she's a Jersey girl who takes no shit, drives aggressively, and flips other drivers off when they're assholes. I warned her to quit doing that because people have guns down here (there are crazy people everywhere but gun owners are just a lot more common down here).

She didn't listen and one day a crazy guy in a truck followed her pointing a gun out the window. She minds her business now

Materials:

- Picture with their full name written on it

- Something to scratch, like a paperclip

- Sage

- Stinging nettle

- Mugwort

- Poppyseed

- Salt

- Small jar or plastic bag

- Psalm 7 (optional, but strongly recommended)

Process:

Take the picture with their full name and scratch out their mouth to make them shut up.

Spit on it.

Fold it away from you three times and put it in your shoe. Go throughout your day while stomping on them. Stamp your foot a few times throughout the day while thinking about putting them in their place.

When you get home, take it out and put it in your vessel. I used a ziplock bag.

Add sage to cleanse that nastiness out of them.

Stinging nettle to make it burn.

Mugwort to make them dream about what they've done.

Poppyseed to cloud their brain and make them slow down.

Salt to protect those around them.

Pray Psalm 7 over the open vessel. I've put the most important parts in bold; if you use this Psalm, give thanks. This is for your protection and to bring justice to the offender. Adonai rejects no one as long as you are respectful. AKA you don't have to be Jewish or Christian to use this. I'm neither.

Lord my God, I go to you for safety.

Help me. Save me from all those who are chasing me.

If you don’t, they will tear me apart as if they were lions.

They will rip me to pieces so that no one can save me.

Lord my God, suppose I have done something wrong.

Suppose I am guilty.

Or I have done evil to my friend.

Or I have robbed my enemy without any reason.

Then let my enemy chase me and catch me.

Let him stomp me into the ground.

Let him bury me in the dust.

Lord, rise up in your anger.

Rise up against the great anger of my enemies.

My God, wake up. Command that the right thing be done.

Let all the people of the earth gather around you.

Rule over them from your throne in heaven.

Lord, judge all people.

Lord, show that I have done what is right.

Most High God, remember that I am honest.

God, you always do what is right.

You look deep down inside the hearts and minds of people.

Bring to an end the terrible things sinful people do.

Make godly people safe.

The Most High God is like a shield that keeps me safe.

He saves those whose hearts are honest.

God judges fairly.

He shows his anger every day.

If evil people don’t change their ways,

God will sharpen his sword.

He will get his bow ready to use.

He has prepared his deadly weapons.

He has made his flaming arrows ready.

Whoever is full of evil

plans trouble and ends up telling lies.

Whoever digs a hole and shovels it out

falls into the pit they have made.

The trouble they cause comes back on them.

The terrible things they do will happen to them.

I will give thanks to the Lord because He does what is right.

I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.

Seal your vessel. Since I used a ziplock bag, I squished the air out and rolled it up away from me.

Put it in the back of your freezer and forget about it.

Materials:

- Picture with their full name written on it

- Something to scratch, like a paperclip

- Sage

- Stinging nettle

- Mugwort

- Poppyseed

- Salt

- Small jar or plastic bag

- Psalm 7 (optional, but strongly recommended)

Process:

Take the picture with their full name and scratch out their mouth to make them shut the fuck up.

Spit on it.

Fold it away from you three times and put it in your shoe. Go throughout your day while stomping on them. Stamp your foot a few times throughout the day while thinking about putting them in their place.

When you get home, take it out and put it in your vessel. I used a ziplock bag.

Add sage to cleanse that nastiness out of them.

Stinging nettle to make it burn.

Mugwort to make them dream about what they've done.

Poppyseed to cloud their brain and make them slow down.

Salt to protect those around them.

Pray Psalm 7 over the open vessel. I've put the most important parts in bold; if you use this Psalm, give thanks.

7 Lord my God, I go to you for safety.

Help me. Save me from all those who are chasing me.

2 If you don’t, they will tear me apart as if they were lions.

They will rip me to pieces so that no one can save me.

3 Lord my God, suppose I have done something wrong.

Suppose I am guilty.

4 Or I have done evil to my friend.

Or I have robbed my enemy without any reason.

5 Then let my enemy chase me and catch me.

Let him stomp me into the ground.

Let him bury me in the dust.

6 Lord, rise up in your anger.

Rise up against the great anger of my enemies.

My God, wake up. Command that the right thing be done.

7 Let all the people of the earth gather around you.

Rule over them from your throne in heaven.

8 Lord, judge all people.

Lord, show that I have done what is right.

Most High God, remember that I am honest.

9 God, you always do what is right.

You look deep down inside the hearts and minds of people.

Bring to an end the terrible things sinful people do.

Make godly people safe.

10 The Most High God is like a shield that keeps me safe.

He saves those whose hearts are honest.

11 God judges fairly.

He shows his anger every day.

12 If evil people don’t change their ways,

God will sharpen his sword.

He will get his bow ready to use.

13 He has prepared his deadly weapons.

He has made his flaming arrows ready.

14 Whoever is full of evil

plans trouble and ends up telling lies.

15 Whoever digs a hole and shovels it out

falls into the pit they have made.

16 The trouble they cause comes back on them.

The terrible things they do will happen to them.

17 I will give thanks to the Lord because he does what is right.

I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High.

Seal your vessel. Since I used a ziplock bag, I squished the air out and rolled it up away from me.

Put it in the back of your freezer and forget about it.

I've gotten to a point in life where I have very little sympathy for people who are assholes. I don't care what you're going through, it does not ever justify abusing service workers. Fuck your sob story, I'm over it. Act like an adult and use your manners.

So, I have started assuming these people are mentally ill. Not in a degrading way, nor in a way that excuses their behavior--just an explanation. And somehow it cuts off that part of my brain that would react emotionally.

Oh, you're crazy. Well, that ain't got shit to do with me. Finish transaction according to policy and let them rave. They're just mentally ill. They do that. Ain't my problem at the end of the day.

I've gotten to a point in life where I have very little sympathy for people who are assholes. I don't care what you're going through, it does not ever justify abusing service workers. Fuck your sob story, I'm over it. Act like an adult and use your manners.

So, I have started assuming these people are mentally ill. Not in a degrading way, nor in a way that excuses their behavior--just an explanation. And somehow it cuts off that part of my brain that would react emotionally.

Oh, you're crazy. Well, that ain't got shit to do with me. Finish transaction according to policy and let them rave. They're just mentally ill. They do that. Ain't my problem at the end of the day.

I encounter this a lot with my well-meaning white coworkers. We work at a library, and on occasion a coworker will come tell me a patron on the floor needs assistance. I'll ask what area they're in and what they look like so I can go help.

When the patron in question happens to be a black person, I know from the second I ask because I can see my coworker freeze up and panic because they don't want to say "he's black." Instead they'll stumble out something like "Oh, he um...has black hair...and a white shirt..." Wow, so helpful! Not like there's five different men over there with dark hair and a white shirt!

Just say they're black. It's fine. No one is going to cancel you. Chill out.

It's kinda helping. I itch so bad to take an edible every evening as soon as I get home from work, and when I don't, it's all I can think about. So...got some BORING gummies so I can placebo my brain into shutting the fuck up. It does help a little; after I eat one I stop thinking about it quite so much.

My sister's husband (BIL) is great, but as a very reserved person he's hard to pry ideas out of. Please help me brainstorm!

Gift is for 29M's birthday. Budget is ~$50

What I know about him:

- He's a middle/ high school music teacher and band director

- He's a professional conductor and teaches classes for that at a university (even has his own custom conductor's wand! Apparently that's a thing, and he's very particular about the details)

He likes:

- Cooking (steak is his favorite)

- Penguins

- Being outdoors (hiking, only rarely hunting)

...I can't think of anything else 😭

Edit: He doesn't drink alcohol

In the past I've given him cooking gadgets, dishes, seasonings, and a rechargeable handwarmer. I don't want to keep giving him kitchen junk, and especially because he doesn't like clutter--he likes things practical and neat.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

A woman called because she was upset about her account being suspended. I explained our policy and she didn't like that, so she wanted to come talk to the department head in person and asked if he'd be there tomorrow. I told her that yes he's working tomorrow and you can come ask for him, and if he's available I'll be happy to get him for you.

She went around in circles some more, complaining about her account being suspended (it was her own fault because she didn't keep up with it), and trying to get me to tell her that my department head will override it for her.

Lady: "So the manager will be there tomorrow, right?"

Me: "Yes, and he leaves by 4:00 pm."

Lady: "And he'll fix my account?"

Me: "He'll be happy to talk with you about it."

Lady: "I can definitely talk to him tomorrow?"

Me: "If he is available, yes."

Lady: "You said he'd be there."

Me: "Yes, but he often has meetings and other things to attend to."

Lady: "Well, he'll definitely talk to me, right?"

Me: "If he is available when you come by."

Lady: "Well, he'll fix my account, right?"

Me: "He'll be happy to talk to you about it."

When customers are really insistent that you give them the answer they want, it's because they want to be able to say "BUT THAT EMPLOYEE SAID IT" and a) get you in trouble, and b) get what they want. It's very annoying.

I know it's pathetic, but growing up I was a glass child (the house was dominated by my older sister who had behavioral problems) and I learned to make myself as small and inconsequential as possible.

I hear most people say they hate going to the doctor, but I'm always excited about my appointments. I get to talk about my issue to someone who listens and actually helps me address the issue. Most of the time they're really nice, too.

It just won't stop. How do y'all escape the rumination whirlpool? Can you turn it off or ignore it?

I go visit my parents occasionally because I do love them and want to see them, but it's really difficult being around them. They'll be normal and all, but I guess it's just all the baggage. I'm in therapy and have had conversations with my parents about their neglect in my childhood, and they were receptive. I'm grateful for that much.

Still, I get around them and I immediately itch to leave. I rushed home after visiting them this weekend and then cried in the bathroom because I want my mom and dad. This then leads to incredible amounts of guilt.

Does anyone else experience this? How do you cope?

Saw another commenter in this sub mention that after quitting, they started having vivid dreams again.

I'm only on day 4 of sobriety, but the past two nights I've had crazy dreams cooked up from childhood trauma and anxieties I have. It's a good thing I'm dreaming again, I guess? But woof, it makes going to sleep feel rather unrestful.

I don't typically remember my dreams, at least not for the last several years. But when I do, it often involves me screaming and crying at my mom.

I drank mugwort tea last night to help me sleep, and mugwort is also known to give vivid dreams. I dreamed about my mom again. In the dream, I confronted her about the way she disregards my emotions and how the way she treats me is cruel. In the dream I got so upset because she just sat there not really listening, giving me empty platitudes about how she cares, but clearly she doesn't or I wouldn't be where I am right now.

I don't remember the details of the dream except for the part where I was saying "Do you think this is normal?" And I kept trying to yell and shout my words, but I had that dream experience where you're trying to scream but can't. It was hard to breathe because I was crying and trying to sob and scream at her but no matter what I did, I couldn't get through to her.

It's funny. When I'm awake I don't feel so angry. It only comes out in my dreams.