r/leaves

I'm 53. I smoked weed for 20+ years, and I am approaching 20 years of living weed free.

First off, it might seem strange that I'm part of this subreddit. Honestly, sharing my experiences and connecting with other people who have struggled with weed dependency has been absolutely KEY to my success.

These are my tips for those trying to quit.

Once you've made the decision, tell the people you care most about (and those who care about you).

Document your journey (on paper, digitally, or right here in this sub).

Keep track of all of the BENEFITS of quitting (saved money, no red eyes, less paranoid, etc.).

Keep track of dates and milestones (I'm a bit of a numbers nerd, so this helped me). Treat yourself to nice things (or experiences) at milestones of your choosing. You might calculate how much you've saved, and spend a portion of that on rewarding yourself with POSITIVES.

Do all the healthy shit: exercise, decent food, try to get enough hours of sleep.

Get OUTSIDE! Less time indoors= more time connecting with things that are good for your body, mind, and spirit.

Have a list on your phone of all the people, activities, positive distractions (or at least LESS harmful distractions) to keep you BUSY.

Advanced level Ninja mind trick that you can use at your own discretion: Get through cravings by PROCRASTINATING -- ex. "Yeah, I'll maybe smoke AFTER I do ___________ ." Do THAT thing (that isn't consuming weed). Then REPEAT. I was surprised to find that cravings would pass after I had done 1, 2, or maxim 3 other things to "procrastinate" rather than just pick up the pipe or spark up a joint.

Oh yeah. Get rid of any and all easy access to weed, so you don't go into autopilot and just mindlessly turn to it when you're stressed, rundown, or just low-key fiending for it.

Fill your days with people and experiences that fill you up (or positively exhaust you).

Take it from an old head: if I can quit this shit, so can YOU!

Different mindset this time around (3rd attempt to quit in the last 8 years).

Give me all the dreams, the weird ass vivid ones. Even the nightmares.

My appetite is weirdly so much better than it was before when I was smoking daily. I fucking love grubbing all of this food and ENJOYING IT!

More energy, better sleep quality. Didn’t sleep until 1am and got up early for work, still have more energy than I did when I smoked and slept for 8 hours. LET’S GO.

Shift your mindset guys, you’re not losing anything. You’re gaining so much. You are gaining FREEDOM!!!!

I thought of sharing this here because this subreddit has helped me in ways I can’t even explain.

Weekends are hard for me. I’m used to finishing work at 1 p.m. on Fridays and then going straight to the dispensary in my neighborhood to get my usual, then smoking all weekend long. This past weekend was different. I was already a few days sober but feeling like all I wanted was weed. Friday at 1 p.m. came, and I tried to get my mind off it, so I took a long nap in the afternoon and woke up feeling rejuvenated. I was able to go back to sleep at 10 p.m. and woke up the next day at 10 a.m. It’s been years since I’ve slept that much. I usually get high and binge-watch TV or something until late at night—but not this time.

I was sober the whole weekend. Weed was always in the back of my mind, but I resisted it. I went for a run, rode my bike with my husband, and we had a blast. Sunday came, and I went to a friend’s house to watch the World Cup match—a very special one. There were a bunch of people, barbecue, a swimming pool, and of course, a lot of weed.

That’s when I realized this time was different than the other 324,432 times I tried to quit. A friend of mine was passing her joint around, and when it got to me, I said no. I SAID NO!!

THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED, GUYS. NEVER. Perfect weather, perfect situation for a nice joint—but I resisted. I have never been this proud of myself in my life. I saw my husband looking at me across the patio, and I could read his lips saying, “I’m so proud of you.” I cried when I got home.

I hope you guys know that this subreddit has been an incredible part of this journey. It’s just the beginning, but we’ll get there together. Thanks, friends!

Isn’t it incredible how long life feels without it? Sometimes in a beautiful way and sometimes in a dread way, the mood swings kickin, but I remind myself constant high times were also dread filled and less navigable.

I’m relishing in having this sub on what is my 50th or so “real” attempt at quitting. I was in Europe for 9 of these days not working and eating great food, so I’m trying to stay in the sub and stay vigilant now that I’m back in America with shittier food that’s more expensive and will be starting my demanding job again shortly.

I also got engaged while overseas, something i am proud of doing sober and really intentionally wanted to stop for. Real life is going to hit more post vacation and when it gets tough i need to be grateful for this clarity and renewed sense of self amidst the tough parts of withdrawal.

Thank you to this sub, and plz feel free to share your success stories of quitting alongside important life trips or decisions, these kinds of stories are helping me push thru since being ourselves WITHOUT this crap helps make living with intention possible and not giving in to giving up

I've been sober from alcohol for 19 years but continued smoking cannabis. Off and on. Plus in some of the states I've lived in it was easily accessible.

I tested myself with a professional device 3 weeks ago that turned out negative.

It's been almost 3 months now. I don't feel like I've noticed a big difference.

I did it mostly because of my spiritual practice is and I have a professional role of high responsibility, I needed my memory intact.

Also, first the Puffs are always been good. But after that just became very blase, no matter how potent it was.

Significant to this is that my partner has been around for the past 3 months, and they smoke regularly, there's been a couple times it smelled really good and just said no

Well, I haven't been to this sub in awhile. I've smoked ever since I was 18 and I'm 28 now. Big pothead, incorporated throughout my whole day + life, the whole bit. I've gone to rehab for other substances before so I've had multiple stints of being weed-free.

I've been using weed for a year and a half (since January of last year). I'm also addicted to another substance so today I decided to quit both of them altogether. Two birds with one stone.

After feeling major depression throughout the day, I caved tonight and had a bowl. What a joke.

It feels like I can't even do this because it's been so normalized in my life for so long.

After 14 years of pretty heavy use (half my life!) I’ve reached a point where I am ready to quit. I used weed to manage undiagnosed ADHD and until recently it was a net-benefit. I managed to get a Master’s degree, start a successful business, stay active, save money, all the stuff you’re “supposed” to do. Although it’s interesting browsing this sub and having the mirror held up. I definitely have not been as connected to my loved ones as I could have been and would shift plans around being able to come home and smoke. I’m pretty excited to come back to my friends and family, my hobbies and my health, for the first time as an adult.

Anyway, after a lot of systemic failures and self-advocacy, I finallyyyy received a proper diagnosis and began prescription medication which has been a fucking gamechanger for me. This massively reduced my weed cravings but during titration I still had a bowl on a night to help me sleep, and smoked on the weekends without my meds. Four times now I’ve had significant panic attacks after smoking. I have health-related OCD and the increase in heart rate (and possibly too much dopamine) made me spiral to the point I thought I was dying. Other times I smoked, I just wasn’t enjoying it and wished I had the clear headed and motivated feeling my meds brought. So I’m officially done. Weed was a good friend to me when I had no other options but now I can manage my ADHD and have a ton of other healthy coping mechanisms and ambitions to keep me going. I feel I’m just having difficulty with the detox and changing up my habits and routines.

It’s early days. My last smoke was Saturday afternoon and writing this it is Monday midday. My sleep has been so poor and I have a cold but other than that I’m fine. The insomnia and weird dreams are the biggest struggle. I worry about my mood being low and irritable because I have a very sociable job and don’t want to be snappy with anyone in my personal life. I feel ready to ride it out but apprehensive.

All of this to say, I know what I need to do to manage in the meantime and I have great support around me. I’d just like to hear from people weeks, months, years down the line because it really inspires me. How has quitting benefitted you and your life? How is it to feel more connected relationally, physically, spiritually? When did you start having healthy sleep again? Let’s create a supportive and positive thread that myself and others can visit when times are tough.

Thanks for reading and I am keeping my prescriber up to date re: the panic attacks and my detoxing 😊

Anyone else have this problem? In my goal to quit weed permanently I’ve drastically reduced my weed usage. Like from every day smoker to now maybe once or twice a month. I’m happier in every way and 100% still committed to quitting it entirely.

The problem is, I feel so much more energized, motivated, and productive when I work out while I’m high. It allows me to focus way more easily on mind muscle connection, and fight out a few more reps on every exercise. Whereas sober working out just feels like a rush to get the exercise over with, working out while I’m high actually makes push myself, feel my muscles being worked, and feel like I actually got something out of my workout. No matter what I try or do, I can’t avoid feeling low energy and disinterested in working out when I try to do it without being high.

Has anyone else ever experienced this? Any advice on what I can do or try in this scenario?

day four starts today.

my 10+ years 'sobriety' (using AA's definition, pamphlet 35: a nonalcoholic cannot be a member of AA) has been marred by dependencies on a handful of 'dailies' with medical cannabis and ... other things.

I'm a diagnosed BPD that also takes 600mg of a certain metal ore repackaged as a pharmaceutical for 'bipolar disorder', marijuana as held me together in multiple ways for a long time.

I have been SO. SAD. these last three days.

thinking is crazy fragmented.

the window opened, I jumped through it.

I'm flying!

I stopped checking my counter so I didn’t know yesterday. I can’t even believe I made it this far. But replacing my 6am smoke session with walking was a great recommendation from this subreddit and I’m so gratful. it’s my 3rd week waking up and going straight to the park. I really enjoy it and look forward to it now 😊

Wow.
So I stopped using 5 days ago and it has been decently bearable until today. I could tell some tenderness was brewing under the surface but DAMN.

Today has been really hard. I feel like I’m on fire and like I’m about to lose it at any moment.
I feel like I’m so dissatisfied with how I’ve been living, mainly my job, and weed allowed me to keep these feelings at bay. I’m a therapist and shit is FUCKED right now for everyone and the world at large and I used weed to cope after work and let go of all of the stuff I hold onto throughout the day.
It’s hard to make space for others feelings when I have big ones of my own and so weed was very effective.

I’m grateful for the anger because it means I’m seeing that things need to change and maybe this isn’t the right job for me if i can’t do it sober (to be quite clear, I only used it when I was done seeing clients for the day and on weekends). But that also deeply saddens me and I hope that this feeling will integrate and give way into maybe a less extreme approach.

I want to numb out but this is no longer a sustainable option. It is radical to feel, and it hurts very much.

Sending so much love to you all on this journey

weed ruins my life. it numbs me to the point where i don’t care about anything anymore. it’s been 10 years. i’ve quit on and off — the withdrawals are brutal.

please give me advice, energy, love, idk. anything.

i’ll report back when i can.

this is gonna suck but plz give me motivation not to relapse again. please.

Literally so irritated from inconsistent plugs and feel pathetic for desperately waiting on anyone just to get high. So done being dependent on this. I’ve quit before but I don’t even remember how. Everyone says don’t go cold turkey but I deadass can’t even re up right now with these wack ass plugs so I basically have no choice. Plus, everytime is supposed to be me trying to “moderate” and it just doesn’t work. I smoke because I’m depressed. Smoking usually withholds me from getting things done that will actually benefit my life, so I stay depressed. It hurts because I want to so badly to be that person that can just casually integrate it into their lives but, I am dependent on everything.
I have to let go of it all, including my biggest crutch, weed. She’s been with me all through highschool. A part of me doesn’t know who I am if not a smoker. It almost feels like the end of my youth. Was that my last high? I don’t remember it at all. Or the one before that, or really anything since I first smoked at all. I was 15 then, 21 now. My entire life is allegedly infront of me but everything hurts so deeply and weed is such a comfort. I guess it’s time for me to hold myself is instead of running into it’s arms. I could go the rest of my life high and dissociated. I could try to avoid the inevitable pain of life and numb it all down but, I have the rest of my life for that. I’m going to try one more time, and maybe a few times after that. God I just wish I could smoke a blunt right now. I just want to get high and watch regular show. Why is life so complicated? Why couldn’t I just be someone who can smoke/drink like anyone else?

Hii!

I have been attempting to be completely sober since the fall of 2023 and I have had a few slips ups since, and last summer had my worst slip up. It was incredibly dangerous and impromptu and I hold a lot of shame around it. BUT as of today, I am a full year sober. :)

I am a pretty alone person and those who know about my sobriety and addiction don't know the full story of my slips, so no one knows that this day is so monumental for me. Yesterday was really hard. Holidays for me are the worst because I feel more alone than ever. It feels like everyone is with family or friends and I am never apart of it. My closest friends are with other people and it hurts... i cried a lot about being alone and about not wanting to be, and I cried a lot about being sober and not wanting to be. However, right now in this moment I am allowing myself to be proud and I am so grateful I did not give in and that I can say I am 1 year stone cold sober!!!!!

Thanks for anyone who has read this ramble, wishing everyone the very best. 🖤

I know this is addiction talking so I'm just going to let it speak here.

I am over a month of sobriety now from all substances but since this is the community for sobriety from marijuana i'll stick to that.

With it being some time apart from the substance, this thought of curiosity is coming in lately.

"What would happen if i smoked again?"
"Would it feel different?"
"Since I've proven i can go without it am I even still addicted to it?"
"If i just smoke a little bit what will happen?"

Most of the answers i'm receiving back from myself is that I will regret it. It will probably make me feel anxious. I know my past with it and I had shown myself time and time again that I abuse rather than use.

then another one comes in

"is it not different now?"
"Why can other people smoke and I can't?"
"I am a new version of myself so might it just be a new way of using?"

No

I don't want to give up on everything I have worked so hard for.

Every time I am around it and choose not to do it, I feel empowered, I feel closer to my "higher" self. The self that doesn't need anything to be high.

I will not give up on myself.

Curiosity in some aspects creates room for well, creativity... maybe that's what it is. I relied on marijuana to bring my creativity for a long time.

I have been creating without it but I don't feel that constant desire to create all the time like I did when i was smoking. Maybe that's a good thing because I am allowing inspiration to happen naturally. That just seems to take more time and less control for that to happen. But even when i was smoking and felt creativity inspired all the time I wasn't actively creating all the time. I was lazy and would more often than not choose to watch TV instead of create. Now TV is mostly boring and I find myself getting very distracted when I am consuming something... which often leads me to turn on the screen and go do something more fulfilling.

When i was stoned I would just rot in bed and over consume...

I guess that's all just wanted to dump my thoughts somewhere

Thanks 🙏🏼

So I did it.

I finally did it.

1 Year ago I wrote a post on here talking about how I was considering to leave.

3 Weeks ago I finally made that decision.

It was a Saturday and I was home with the wife and kids and had been on one of my "walks".

I tried to sit down and play a video game for an hour or so, but I started to feel the rush of anxiety flowing up into my body and mind and I ended up not being able to be around my wife and kids.

I just told the wife that I was having a panic attack and that I needed to be by myself in the bedroom.

I tried doing breathwork to try and ride out the attack but it didn't work. I just shut my eyes and felt awful. I ended up falling asleep in the end which ended the panic attack.

I was so ashamed about how shitty I was and how I couldn't be there for my wife and kids during one of the only days in our busy week where we can be together.

I have been a daily smoker, though not a heavy smoker, for around 18 years (I'll be 37 in August) and have been very functional.

I have built a family, a career and I am training, playing in a band, have loads of hobbies. But the older I have become the more I have been seeing Mary Jane as an obstruction rather than an enhancer. And I was still doing it..

I kept on smoking even when I had minor panic attacks or anxiety because of this plant.

Every day after work I would smoke on my way from the car to my front door, before even saying hello to my family. And I felt ashamed.

Every family holiday I would go for "walks", because I didn't have enough in the people I love the most...

My dad is an alcoholic and toker and is in a really bad state.

2 Weeks before I quit, I had spoken to him over the phone and he had been delirious. He is severely depressed and is not taking care of himself at all. Not eating enough or drinking water. Loads of alcohol and loads of weed.

My brother and I are the only family he has left and my brother has cut him off completely due to the neglect and following trauma my brother experienced during our childhood (I completely understand him). So I am all that is left for my dad.

I cannot cut him off. I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror even though he was not a great dad.

As I have grown into an adult and have learned more about his childhood, I have found that he himself is simply a little neglected boy in a grown man's body. Left by his own dad and having a mother that wasn't very present.

I knew I had to go and visit him after that phone call. He talked about not knowing how much longer he was going to be here.

I found him laying in a pile of his belongings on his couch in his groundfloor appartment. He was sleeping and unresponsive so I broke in through the window (mind you I am 6'5 and 293 lbs so it wasn't easy) because I was so worried for him.

When he woke up he was talking deliriously. His 1 room appartment was FILTHY. His fridge had fallen over and there was rotting food in it and falling out of it. He had 2 feet of filthy plates, cups and cutlery covering his kitchen counter and there was broken glass all over his floor.

I decided that we needed to go to emergency psychiatric institution (don't know the correct name in english) because of how he was acting.

We got sent to the regular ER due to his bio-markers being off and psych wouldn't take him until he had been cleared physically first.

After the initial admission to the hospital I spent 2 weeks on the phone every day trying to have the municipality step in and do a so-called social-sanitation of his living space so he could be let out of the hospital and hopefully get some psychiatric help.

I was doing all this while still working (in a new challenging job) and juggling family life and all my other responsibilities.

I finally cracked.

After having seen how this plant (and alcohol) has been a pacifier for my dad which has left him unable to process his own neglect and trauma, leaving me to act as a father for my own father, and my body and mind telling me that I cannot suppress my feelings and thoughts about everything going on with my dad and in my life through these panic attacks, I have finally made the decision.

I am fairly sure that this time it will be for good.

I have been using the plant exactly how my father has, to numb out life and feelings and to just go through the motions of life. I have been a coward and have been postponing what I knew to be right for so long, but this situation with my father has shown me that I need to fucking do something. In that sense he has been a sort of anti-role model, which I have been able to learn from.

It's scary, but also excilerating.

My first 3 weeks has been way easier than any other time I have been trying to not smoke before. I think I finally have a true "why" as to why I should stop smoking. I NEED to be able to handle shit for my own family, and my dads situation put my use into perspective.

If you got this far, thank you for reading. It feels good to get all this down in writing as I don't share with a lot of people.

My dad is finally in a psychiatric institution and receiving help. Hopefully he will get better and I will be able to be in his company for the last few years of his life.

TL;DR:

I had a big panic attack while smoking on a Saturday at home with my family, due to having to manage my own life + take care of my father who is an alcoholic and chronic weed smoker and mental health patient. His situation finally gave me the perspective to feel ready. I don't want to be ashamed anymore.

We were together 30 plus years. She took an insecure budding young adult and gave me the confidence to break out of the limiting beliefs about myself instilled by an overbearing father and anxiety stricken mother. She encouraged me to develop my artistic side, my intellectual side, and my lover side. With her newfound confidence, I excelled in college. Unlike many who she distracted and flunked out, she drove me to graduate with a 3.88. At the same time, under her influence, my confidence was off the charts. I was one of the most popular boys in college, dating some of the hottest women in the school. It wasn't until I completely fell for one of these women (and this woman wasn't as smitten with me) that I got my first taste of the paranoia Mary Jane could engender. Under Mary's influence, I grew very possessive, jealous, and clingy and deservedly got dumped. The confidence I had gained from her was totally false. I am remembering the heartbreak I felt back then because that is very similar to what I am feeling today.

Mary Jane seemed to help me come to terms with that heartbreak. She even helped me get the girl who dumped to give me a second chance. But, because of Mary Jane, it wasn't long before the same paranoia caused me to blow it again.

Nevertheless, Mary was there to cushion the blow. She kept me clinging to false hope I might get a 3rd chance which never materialized.

After college, Mary kept me intoxicated with my unrealized potential for 3 decades. After 10 years of putting it off, I got clean for a bit and entered law school. While I started it clean, Mary Jane tempted me back after the 1st semester. I did ok and graduated, but failed the bar and never tried again. Mary made me content to work as a paralegal for 20 years, since I could easily do the job stoned out of my mind.

At 54, married with a new infant, I finally woke up to see how toxic my relationship with Mary has always been. So I finally just dumped her out of nowhere.

I am little over 2 weeks clean, and I feel like I've lost the love of my life. All my confidence and sense of self is in tatters without her. Of course, the delusion that comes with most heartbreak is to assume that all will be well in the world if the object of your heartbreak would just return. But the truth is that the reason Mary Jane and I can't be together and what drove her away is my toxic attachment to her. Once a relationship becomes toxic it is over for good. It was always toxic really. Still, the heartbreak is real.

It took me months to take the leap...so worried about withdrawals. I have been using for years...basically daily even if it was just a little bit most days. I thought I'd be a wreck.

So far the sky has not fallen. Head ache and a bit groggy and foggy....a few cravings and weird feelings of Déjà vu.....boredom maybe...

Point is why not just start!!!

How do I support him on his journey to quit if I don’t
Plan to quit too. We usually smoke together 3 times a week. But he is a daily user and all of his close friends do
It too, while I only do it with him and stop for weeks at a time without issues.

How do I help him? . He told me he feels weed is messing up his goals and motivation in life. He told Me he has some sort of really mild hallucination sometimes when high.

I have been a daily user for the past 3 years. This is my first time quitting by choice (not going on vacation etc).

When does it get easier?
What is the timeline of quitting?
I am so new to this all but it is so mentally hard and I’m trying to be strong enough.