I am 38 years old and have smoked since I was 14. I’m only on day two of not smoking and the cravings are insane. What are some things you do when the cravings are overwhelming?
Is there any way to know in early sobriety that you will find happiness again? I am terrified that maybe depression is my baseline and weed is the only way I can feel joy in things. Another part of me wonders if the weed is what caused this depression. And if that’s the case, it can be reversed, right?
I know with my heavy prolonged use, I’m in for a rough ride. I made it 3 months sober last winter but still felt depressed and grey and joyless, that was enough to convince me to go back. Later I read that some heavy users have messed up their dopamine system so badly that it takes 6-15 months to start feeling better. That’s a long time for an addict with poor impulse control to keep it together.
Maybe I need to surrender to the depression and learn to accept it. Is being depressed better than struggling with the roller coaster of addiction? I don’t think I can honestly say that’s the case.
I just feel lost and every time I get sober I feel like I’m constantly fighting my mind. I have an extremely long list of why I need to quit and almost an equally long list of why I need weed. It makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.
Not sure what the point of this post is. Just wanted to get my feelings out on the page so to speak. I will keep trying despite things feeling bleak.
I was a heavy smoker for about 12 years**,** around 5 joints a day, every day. I’ve spent roughly 380 CHF per month on weed, without exception.
It was just part of my life since I was 14. For years it didn’t even feel like a “choice” anymore it was automatic. Wake up, smoke. Bored, smoke. Stress, smoke. Everything revolved around it in some way.
A couple months ago, a friend of mine lost his driver’s license for driving under the influence. Switzerland is extremely strict with cannabis and driving (basically zero tolerance). That was a wake-up call for him, he quit that same day.
I stopped a few days later.
After a few sleepless nights and sweat-drenched sheets, something finally clicked. Clarity hit in a way I didn’t expect.
Why was I so careless with my life?
I have a dog I need to be there for. I have a job I don’t want to lose. But when I was high, none of that really crossed my mind. It was always just “it’s only weed.”
I don’t want to say weed is bad, but anything becomes bad when it’s too much.
Looking back, I’ve probably spent over 40,000 CHF on weed over the years and smoked well over 11,000 joints. I’m only 26.
And honestly, I never really felt in control of my life. Everything revolved around weed, where to get it, when I could smoke, how I’d have it for trips. Even on vacation, I wasn’t really present because part of my mind was always thinking about weed.
Now that I’ve stopped, I feel different. Not perfect, but clearer. More present. I actually have time for my dog and for myself again.
Still early days, but I’m starting to see what I was missing.
I am an amputee and one of my excuses for smoking was pain relief. Well. I was good, then yesterday as I was walking down the steep stairs to grab my phone, I slipped, fell, and my freaking prosthetic snapped at the foot. Landed and sprained BOTH fucking wrists. But. I did not smoke, and I am dealing with it, sober. Day 10 for the win!
I never thought of myself having issues with weed.
I got a connect that I usually pick up from, but it’s always 12g’s minimum. And the last few years I would end up smoking daily after work at night. Told myself it’s ok. Other people drink wine after work etc. But now I’m in this weird place.
It’s been months since picking up some weed and I smoked my last joint a couple of weeks ago. But this happens often lately. I’ll have a week or two before wondering if I should go pick some up again. But something is holding me back. And I’m not sure why I’m posting this, but it gets to the point of checking traffic on my phone, planning when I could get there, debating if I should text my connect or not.
I suppose I’m wondering if my body is trying to tell me something. I literally spend an hour or more sometimes just debating myself on getting some or not. It’s also just a lot of money every time, just to burn a plant and inhale some smoke to feel high for a bit. Feels like literally burning money away.
hello folks! i have been a daily consumer of our friend mary jane for the past two years. i first started smoking because of college and truth be told i did not expect to like it as much as i do. it didn't present me any major problems until recently i find myself feeling very spaced out and it's not as enjoyable for me as it was before. i initially used it for its anger reducing, music enhancing and giggles inducing promises, but now it seems that i have fallen into a mindless routine.
i love the process of grinding, packing a bowl and i genuinely love the process of smoking. i love marijuana so much, i know that i should take a break from it for now and come back when i am much more clear-headed. i have taken week-long breaks sparingly before but since i started smoking i have not spent over two months without it. i would like to give my brain and lungs a break, but i should probably do it via the taper method.
sobriety is one hell of a mf drug, and every thought and emotion is amplified. while i have spent a lot of time getting to know who i am and what i like when i am under the influence blazed all the time, i am curious on what happens if i take away this amazing lovely dear plant from my life for a bit.
does anyone have any advice on how i can navigate this? i love who i am and who i've become because of this plant. i have grown so much and learned bountiful lessons that i will take with me till i die. but, i do not want this plant to hinder my amazing brain development and be so dependent to it to the point that i do not know who i am without the influence of it.
i am reminded of what my friend said that weed will always be around forever, i need not rush to smoke like a fireplace before i am a grown grown adult with way more freedom and agency.
anyways, thoughts? comments? anecdotes?
Hi all. I quit smoking in December but sadly that only lasted about 3 months. Ofc I thought "I can go back to it and just smoke occasionally. " We know how that turned out. I am smoking more than ever before , to the point its actually making me feel sick. Last time I quit, I puked non stop for 5 days and could not keep anything at all down but I dont fear that again. Im off the next few days so I will get my helmet and buckle in. So mad at myself for falling back into this. I know I need to quit for good because I am starting to see things when im not even smoking (small random things that I know aren't there IRL) and I know sometimes that can become permanent if gone too far. So I guess this post is just a rant and an ask to pls send all the prayers, strength and good juju my way pls. This page was a HUGE help when I quit last time, really it was the main thing that helped me get through it. TIA and good luck to everyone else trying to quit
I don't have anything meaningful to say, I just wanted to say I don't think I have ever been this sober, and I am so sad it took this long. No weed. No alcohol. No caffeine. Weed was the last to go and easily has been the hardest.
I do have one question, when does the fog go away? I was a smoker since 16, then eventually by 32 was a cart a day kinda smoker. It's been a couple weeks, but I am afraid I fucked my brain up for good and this haze will never go away. I'm 37 now for refrence.
Thanks for your time
I’ve been smoking weed basically daily for 8 years. The past 2 years, since going off work due to a traumatic incident, it’s only become more frequent. I have PTSD and have been making great progress in treatment, but I feel like this drug only makes my emotional instability worse. I am so tired of dragging myself out of the lows. If I could be an only weekend user or monthly, that’d be great. It’s hard when you’re not working. It’s hard when you’re traumatized. I’m scared of stopping and having the nightmares come back. I’m afraid of not having my plant friend to lean on when I’m dealing with this rollercoaster of emotions. I guess part of it that stops me is the thought of “well if you stop the weed you’ll probably still be messed up” and that thought breaks my heart. I don’t even know if mental and emotional stability is possible for me. I’ve been mentally ill since I was a child and a plethora of traumatizing incidents throughout my 20’s have only made it worse. I’m receiving very good mental health treatment and feel like if I’m ever going to have a shot at mental stability, this may be it. Ugh. I hide so much of it from everyone. The only person who knows the true extent of it is my partner. :( I know life isn’t over and that there are so many bright days on the other side, I just wish I could actually feel that hope inside of me. I have a strong feeling that quitting will help me. I also know that it’s going to make everything worse before it gets better. 🥲
Hello! I’m 32 days in from stopping use. Even while using I had to take something to help with sleep. This past Monday night I started waking up constantly. It’s Thursday morning and after 3 nights of this I’m miserable. I have no desire to go back due to the anxiety it was causing me in the end. Could this be related or is it related to something else?
hey everyone. i need some help. i'm sitting here in the dark, writing this from a headspace i never thought i’d return to, and i just need to get it out to people who actually understand this disease.
the highs: when sobriety gave me superpowers
on december 31st, after 2 years of daily, continuous smoking to numb the pain of a brutal breakup, i finally threw it all away. the first 40 days of withdrawal were a literal living hell. insomnia, night sweats, anxiety—you name it, i crawled through it.
but once the fog cleared? i felt like i had superpowers.
without weed, my life absolutely flourished. i enrolled in two morning technical courses (payroll management and accounting assistant) while simultaneously taking 4 subjects for my bachelor’s degree in music.
for the first time in my life, i wasn’t the quiet stoner in the back of the room. i became socially relevant. i was thriving, standing out as the top student in my harmony and counterpoint classes. during my 2 years of heavy smoking, i didn't go on a single date. clean? i was attracting women, making friends, and actually living.
then, it got even better. i started flirting with a classmate from music who shared all my tastes. at the same time, i started dating the girl of my dreams—a beautiful, artistic, incredibly smart girl i had been crushing on for four years. we slept together. it was my first time being intimate with someone in over a year and a half, and the first time with someone my age since my ex left me in december 2023.
my life was at its absolute peak. i felt invincible.
the fall: one night of self-sabotage
and that’s exactly when the addict brain took over.
the very night i was with the girl of my dreams, things were perfect. too perfect. so, what did i do? i self-sabotaged. i convinced her to smoke some weed with me. just for fun. just for one night.
i broke my 4+ month streak. and from that exact night, i couldn't stop.
the domino effect was brutal and instantaneous:
i completely abandoned university.
i dropped the accounting course.
i stopped doing the administrative work i owe my employer—who happens to be a classmate who trusted me and gave me my dream job at his distribution company. i'm ghosting him.
to top it all off, i completely obsessed over and idealized this girl. i lied to her, telling her i had a massive fight with my family just to get her attention. a few nights ago, drunk out of my mind at 4 am while wandering to her place, i got mugged and my phone was stolen.
the present moment: 2:30 am
it is currently 2:30 am here in argentina. i am supposed to wake up at 6:40 am in a few hours to go study. and i already know i’m not going.
i am paralyzed by guilt and shame. in less than two weeks, i systematically dismantled every single beautiful thing i built during the best months of my life. i traded my future, my education, my job's trust, and my dignity for a plant that promises comfort but delivers nothing but ruin.
i know i did this to myself. day 1 started again yesterday, but right now, the mountain feels too high to climb again. if anyone has relapsed right at their peak and managed to find their way back, please tell me it’s possible. i feel completely broken.
on monday i just smoked the very last joint i had left. as i exhaled, i told myself this is it. it has to be the final one. i need to draw a line in the sand right here, right now. but if i'm being 100% honest with you guys... i don't trust myself right now. my confidence is completely shattered. i look in the mirror and i don't even recognize the person looking back, let alone believe that he can beat this again.
I've been a regular 1g+ daily user since 2020, save when I was in the psych ward for a few months. Part of my reason for wanting to stop smoking is once I have one it never feels like enough. I could be higher, I have felt better- if I just have one more bowl I could maybe get a glimpse of those moments where I was 18 and a tiny smoke would throw me into giggle fits.
It doesn't make me feel anything other than normal now. Even when I realistically have so much THC in me, I feel nothing but the comforting haze.
I feel so fucking stupid for saying im going to quit for years now and never following through but I just decide to have one more and try and reach that comfy stoned over and over and over again
I have finally quit smoking all day every day (started at 14 and I am literally 23.5. Took me long enough 😐) my family is disappointed in me and my younger brother is farther in school and works in a hospital. I have always dreamed of working in a hospital, but even after 2-3 months of absolutely no THC consumption I am still testing very positive. I have been trying to chug water and lose weight but does anyone else have any tips that’s actually work??? I am so tired of being looked down on by my family for an addiction I have a hard time controlling and for working in a grocery store as opposed to patient care.
After tapering my usage down, I haven't smoked in a few days. The urge was minimal today. I am ready to be free from having to use all day every day again, but as I'm laying here tonight I'm thinking about needing to throw some stuff out tomorrow. Can anyone help me be accountable? I know myself, and if I don't get rid of it fast I will end up letting it sit there until I have a weak moment and then I'll be off to the races. I'm so tired of using.
I can't believe I'm nearing a year without any thc consumption of any kind. I feel good and healthy in everyway. All the best to anyone reading this ❤️
EDIT: to everyone that has responded and reached out, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I'm new to this reddit thing, and was not expecting so many responses and chatting with others who relate to this.
we got this.
Mostly a vent session but all comments welcome. I just want to relate to anyone..
I finally decided I'm ready for a new story. I've always smoked weed, and for no particular reason.
I see a lot of folks say they used it for eating, sleeping, coping, and every other reason under the sun.
But I just love smoking.
I love how it feels to inhale and exhale the smoke. I love touching weed, love the smell, love the sound of the grinder grinding it up to popping a bowl into the grav, and LOVE the creative side that my mind would go to.
Since dispensaries have come in, obviously I went that route. Because whatever I was buying off the streets (not quite literally. I did have a trusted source) but it was getting weird. You can tell they were puttin shit in it. Tasted weird. Didn't even smell right. But anyways, ultimately my decision to quit was based on I'm tired of paying taxes on weed. Dispensaries near the West Tennessee area, charge way too much for mediocre pot. No, I have no desire to grow it. Mostly because I don't think I would do any good at it.
However, it's day 5 , the urges do get better everyday but no matter what.. I still just want to hit. Not even to get high. Just to breathe in smoke, and let it out.. I started using one of those shitty vapes from the gas station, needless to say that only lasted about 3 days. Shit has my lungs and chest so tight.. fuck those things.
I've smoked for 25 years. And the only real reason I can actually come up with to quit is because it's become so unaffordable. My husband is the breadwinner, I don't feel right spending money he earns on my habit.
I don't just sit around the house and do nothing, we have a homestead that I tend to. And I just love smoking weed while I do it. But the more I smoke the more lazy I get and now that I'm not smoking I still don't want to do shit. Can't tell if it's just from heavy use of marijuana for the last 20 years or if it's just because the world is going to absolute shit. Which also goes to say the world has always been shit it definitely has a lot to do with how you perceive life, blah blah blah.
Right now I so badly want to smoke.
Smoking has definitely made me a little dumber.. I guess more lazy. Depending on the day, or the type of but I'm smoking but.. why am I on here, Trying to find a reason to continue to smoke?
Say I'm not alone.
Is it better to be sober or just enjoy getting stoned?
Been sober for 7 1/2 months idk why I took a few hits of my friend blunt is my progress back to day after a few puffs ? Im mad I got tempted , I did get super high tho
Hey, I have this problem when i try quit is i have my last joint but then i realise its my last one i get hella depressed and slowly smoke it then at the end of it im not even high or lightheaded cuz im stressing its finished then i always get more the next day thinking this is it i need to get super high once and quit but never works.
How did you have your last one like i have a problem with this is my last one i need to do all the things i like while smoking weed like playing rdr2 or even watching youtube or like should i listen to this song shall i smoke it in the park where i started smoking weed as a kid. like i feel like i need to have all these expereince before i finish this and kill my old self but i dont know what to do
im 23 now been smoking everyday since 15
I know everyone has a different timeline but I wonder how long it takes for you to truly get out of the “disconnected” stage. I think the prolonged isolation is the main reason why this feeling is even more intense at times. Removing myself from my friends and my old job were the main reasons I was able to quit smoking and never look back
I’m in the process of finding a new job and trying to be more social & i think time is truly all i need in order to feel like my old self again but right now the disconnected feeling is really strong and I don’t even know how to describe the feeling. The consequences of smoking is scary, but i think the consequences of isolation might be even worse which is what I’m currently experiencing. What are some things that helped you feel connected with life again?
Pretty much what’s in the title. I’m being dramatic, emotional, and mean to people around me. It’s like I keep saying things, hearing myself, and then being immediately ashamed. It’s something weed won’t fix, so it’s not tempting me to back. It’s just hard and I wanted to share.