r/Parentification

So a lil about me - I'm a short person (5 ft) as well as a lil chubby and growing up my mom would take me to badminton, swimming, basketball etc. with a hope that it'd help me grow taller. Now growing up I wasn't that insecure about my height or weight but I do have a vivid memory of one day when I was not in the mood to go for swimming class and my mom yelled at me saying if I become lazy like this I'll end up becoming fat like my cousin.

Also, she's always been super conscious about her weight. While she's been doing yoga and gym for many years (my school days), I've always seen her talk about getting thin and not fit. I do understand that the generation she comes from had a very different school of thoughts. And now I'm a strong 5' female - I can do 3 sets of 15-20 full pushups, I recently cracked 1-2 chinups, I'm training for pullups, I run 10k multiple times a year, I dance - very active lifestyle but even then the first thing I look at in the mirror would be my slightly chubby arms, my hips - which i constantly feel are larger for my frame.

And then today I showed my mom an AMAZING dance video of my new Kathak teacher and the first thing she said was - "she's a lil fat na but". And a couple days ago also I showed my mom a picture of one of my new friends who's actually become a close friend now and the first thing she said was the same thing! And it annoyed the hell out of me! And I was like I think I finally know why I'm never satisfied with the way i look! I'm a lil disappointed - not really with her (or may be a lil) but just with the whole scenario.

Hey, I’m 21F, currently in my final year of BTech. I’ll hopefully start working next year, and from the outside my life probably looks pretty normal. But I’ve been carrying a lot of things from my family for years, and I don’t really know how to process them.

I come from a very strict family. Since I was a girl, there were always restrictions on where I could go, what I could do, and who I could interact with. I never really got to experience the freedom that a lot of teenagers had.

My parents had an arranged marriage. My mother has a government job and my father worked as a mechanic. Their relationship was never very healthy. My father was very egoistic and often treated my mother badly. Then my mother had a miscarriage. She was already very emotional, and after that she struggled a lot.

Later, my brother was born.

My mother became extremely protective of him. She wouldn't let him play outside much, and whenever my father told him to do something, she would often stop him. He became the child everyone worried about.

Then I was born.

I was the "good girl." I didn't give them reasons to worry. I never did anything they could be ashamed of. I tried my best to help my mother and even tried talking to my father when things were bad.

But as I grew older, everything started falling apart.

My mother's brother borrowed money from her and several relatives to build a school. My mother asked my father multiple times about taking a loan, but he refused, and eventually she felt she had no choice but to give her brother money.

When my father found out, things became extremely bad.

I was in 12th grade at the time. My father tried to hang himself. I was studying for an exam while all of this was happening. Thankfully, he eventually stopped. I tried to talk to him afterward, but he screamed at me.

He then started posting on Facebook about how my mother had betrayed him.

My mother eventually ran away from the house. A relative found her on the way and stopped her, so she was safe.

After that, my father's elder brother threatened my mother's brother, saying he would shoot him if he didn't return the money.

The entire environment at home became horrible.

I fought with my father and eventually he told me things like, "Who is she to talk?" After that, he didn't speak to me for around six months.

He never asked which college I was going to. He never asked where I was staying. He never came to drop me at my hostel.

I was extremely anxious during my first year of college. I would literally vomit because of anxiety.

Because of some health issues, I had to stay with my cousins for a while. They were two girls who were extremely mean and rude to me, and being around them made my mental state even worse.

Eventually I moved into a PG with my school friends, and things slowly became better.

I don't vomit from anxiety anymore, but I still sometimes become so anxious that I can't even speak.

And then there's my brother.

He's older than me. He spent a lot of time playing PUBG until 12th, then got admission into BTech ECE. He apparently wanted another branch, but during COVID things didn't go well. He failed multiple times, and what should have been a four-year degree took him six years.

Now he's been unemployed for around two years.

My mother still supports him completely.

He knows that even if he doesn't do anything, she'll support him. He has also learned exactly how to use her weak point.

What hurts me isn't simply that she supports him.

It's that she seems to believe him more than she believes me.

Once, a classmate messaged me on Snapchat to wish me happy birthday. My brother saw it and told my mother. He told her that if I had nothing to hide, I should show her my phone to prove him wrong.

I didn't even feel guilty because I genuinely had nothing to hide.

But I felt hurt.

My mother knows me. She knows what kind of person I am. She knows everything I've done and how careful I've always been.

So why is it that when my brother says something about me, she believes him first?

I also have to beg my brother for help with the smallest things, like filling out an exam form. Yet whenever someone in the family needs advice or help, they come to me.

I feel useful when everyone needs something from me, but when I need someone, I feel completely alone.

And recently, my mother said something that really broke me.

She told me she doesn't want me to get a job before my brother because he is older and he won't feel good about it.

I'm trying to build my career. I'm trying to become independent. I'm finally going to have a chance to make something of my life.

And apparently even that has to wait because my brother might feel bad.

I know my mother loves me. I genuinely believe she does.

That's what makes this so confusing.

I don't think she hates me. I don't think my brother is some horrible person either. But I can't ignore how differently I feel treated.

Sometimes I even think about the miscarriage and wonder what my mother's relationship with me would have been like if she had never lost that baby and I had never been born.

I hate myself for thinking that.

My mother had a government job, family support and everything she needed, yet she never left my father despite everything. I've watched her tolerate things that I don't think I would be strong enough to tolerate.

And now I'm terrified of relationships.

I've never had a boyfriend. Love marriage isn't really an option in my family, and even the idea of trusting someone scares me.

I've watched my parents' relationship and I've seen what happens when someone depends on another person emotionally.

I'm scared that if I ever trust someone, they'll eventually hurt me, control me, abandon me, or use everything I've told them against me.

I know people often say that when someone grows up in an emotionally dysfunctional family, they look for love outside the family.

I didn't.

I was too scared to even start.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm actually hard to love.

I've never really had that feeling of being someone's first choice.

I'm always the responsible daughter. The one who helps. The one who understands. The one who is expected to adjust.

But who chooses me?

I don't want my mother to love my brother less. I don't want him to suffer.

I just wish I didn't constantly feel like I have to be less so that he can be okay.

I'm 21. I'm trying to graduate, get a job next year, become financially independent and build a life outside all of this.

But emotionally, I still feel like that little girl who was trying to keep everyone happy while nobody noticed how scared she was.

If you've grown up in a family like this, how did you stop feeling like the second choice?

And how did you learn to trust people without being terrified that they'll eventually hurt you?

Me he criado con una madre adolescente con un trastorno mental (TOC). No tenía prácticamente a nadie más he tenido que aprenderlo todo yo sola y siempre fui independiente pero aun asi me siento la persona mas inútil y disfuncional del mundo. Tengo depresión, ansiedad y TCA desde adolescente. Pero aun asi he tenido que ser funcional porque si yo no trabajaba nos quitaban la casa. Tuve problemas con la ira cuando ya fui adulta porque a pesar de todo lo que hacía y de ser una niña que no fui cuidada mi madre era muy exigente e incluso a veces cruel conmigo aunque no creo que apropósito. Hubo tanta negligencia en mi infancia, que tengo demasiados problemas de adulta, tengo problemas psicomotrices, me da miedo todo porque mi madre pensaba que con cualquier cosa que hiciera me podía morir, problemas de alimentacion y lo ya mencionado antes de salud mental.

Me siento inútil en todos los aspectos de mi vida. No encajo con nadie, y si encajo me acaban abandonando. Siento que no se hacer nada y en todos los trabajos me siento una mierda aunque sea el trabajo mas fácil del mundo siento que lo hago mal. Y la verdad es que estoy muy cansada siento un peso insoportable con el que no puedo. He ido a terapia y todo pero son tantas cosas... incluso he llegado a sufrir abuso sexual, pero por negligencia también no intencionado (aunque suene raro puede pasar). A veces pienso que no debería haber nacido y que el mundo es cruel por haberme traído a estar padeciendo. Nadie merece una madre sola adolescente y enferma. Me siento ridícula porque el ejemplo que tuve como madre fue una persona que no vivía en otro planeta y siento que muchas de las cosas que me enseño estaban en su cabeza y no eran reales. Dudo de absolutamente todo lo que hago.

I’m constantly frustrated about our financial situation. We’re a family of four, and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve started thinking more about my parents’ decisions.

My mom had an opportunity to work in Canada when we were younger, and we had properties that could’ve provided passive income, but they were eventually sold. I can’t help but blame them for some of those choices. Sometimes I wonder, what if they had made better decisions?

What frustrates me more is that we don’t really have an emergency fund or financial safety net, so eventually, the responsibility falls on us. I also have my own dreams, I want to work or study abroad, but money is one of the biggest things holding me back.

Today I lashed out and told my parents how stupid some of their decisions were. I know it was harsh, but it came from years of frustration.

They told me, “It’s your life now. We already did our part. At least we sent you to good schools.”

For those who grew up without one, how did you become financially independent? Especially if you wanted to work or study abroad?

I have a sister who berates me, puts me down, and criticizes everything I do. And then there’s my mom, who’s so starved for family love that she’s basically helping destroy her own immediate family in the process.

I genuinely believe both of them are good people at their core… but today crossed a line for me. I’m still drained 8 hours later. My mom (who’s in her 60s) threatened that she’ll just leave and never come back again 😵‍💫 for a bit of insight into the narcissism that was happening when I told her she hurt me.

I’m just wondering… at what point do you stop trying?
I’ve been told they may simply not be capable of real emotional depth. So do you just keep showing up forever because they don’t have the tools for a functional relationship? Or do you eventually draw a hard line?

If any of you have drawn that line with a parent or sibling…when did you do it, and do you regret it?
Grandkids are involved in this situation too, which makes everything messier.

Feeling pretty lost right now and would really appreciate hearing how others have handled something similar.

I am a 22 year old Female from (INDIA) and i want to leave my house, because my parents are so conservative, and they want me to just get married and do household chores like my mother do , but i don't want that type of life, i want to be an software engineer, but i know they will kill me but never support me, whenever i sit to study they just scold me for studying. my parents and my brother too are so narrow minded.

in my family, no girl ever did any graduation or any job, they are just meant to produce kids and do household chores, that's it

i always think that i should leave them, they treat me soo bad, no one supports me in my house, but if i left my house my father will make my mother's life a hell, he is so abusive towards her, but she still scold me , she also don't want to change. i don't know what to do.

I’m coming close to 40, and I’m just so done. The back talk, the constant excuses, and the victim blaming is just getting so old. To having to remind them that you can’t do this, that this is bad, that you can’t say that specifically at your age. I spent my whole life trying to avoid this. Yet I’m forced to do it till either I pass or they do. I don’t want to do it. I’m done.

I can’t get it through their thick skull. All the gentle talking and all the ways of showing them it’s wrong , just makes me a bad guy time and time again. No one ever prepped me for this. I wasn’t ever told I’d have to do this. I never wanted this is the first place. It wasn’t like this when I was growing up. I never saw my parents doing what I’ve had to do.

I want to quit, go for a gallon of milk and never look back.

Though. I love my mother, she would be homeless and dead with out me. I chose a childless life just to be saddled with and take care of the biggest child I know. My mom. I hate this woman man, and love her.

I can’t imagine how many Millennials are facing what I am cause their parents did nothing but fuck all to depend on their kid.

I’m really struggling right now and just need to vent and maybe get some advice. I (19F) have been crying a lot these days because I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated with my mom. I love her so much and want her to rest, but being around her stresses me out to no end. For context, I’m the middle of three sisters. There isn't a strict hierarchy, but there’s definitely no equality either. My mom expects us to treat each other like we're the same age, but then completely flips the rules whenever it suits her. My little sister struggles a lot with social interactions, gets intimidated easily, and is a bit of a pushover outside the house. My mom knows this, so she acts super protective of her, backs her up in front of everyone, and thinks she's "too pure for this world." But because of that, my mom lets her get away with anything at home. she can literally swear at us and my mom won't bat an eye. The moment my older sister or I act out, suddenly it’s "you're older, you should know better." It feels like such an exhausting double standard. On top of that, my mom doesn't force us to do household chores because she wants us to focus on our studies. But I feel immense guilt watching her do everything alone. The problem is, whenever I step in to be a "good daughter" and help, she hands off every single chore that my sisters refused to do directly onto me. Because of this, none of us want to help her anymore we know if we offer an inch, she’ll take a mile. She works herself to exhaustion, but whenever I try to talk to her or ask her to rest, it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall. She never actually listens or tries to understand what’s going on with me. I feel trapped between loving her, feeling guilty for not helping more, and feeling completely resentful of how she treats us. It’s emotionally draining and I don't know how to navigate this dynamic without constantly breaking down. Has anyone else dealt with a similar parent dynamic? How do you set boundaries without feeling like a terrible person?

When I was 16 my baby brother was born despite us not having a stable income or the time to raise a child. My parents really wanted a boy, at the time they only had my sister and I. Being neurodivergent I am a very impatient person prone to explosive anger and heavy anxiety/ depression. I never liked children and never cared about having one of my own and when my mother announced her pregnancy I knew what was coming.
And there it was: the kid was dumped into my arms since the day he was born. I had to push down all my anger and sensory issues to take care of a screaming, crying baby while my parents were either busy with other stuff or didn’t care to deal w him (they’re currently in their 50s, I’d say that’s pretty old to be having a child). My brother only recently found out that I’m not his parent, now he’s 5 and I’m 21. He’s a wonderful kid but this has destroyed my life.
I can’t go out with friends, I can’t take a nap if I’m exhausted, I never get a break if im sick and it doesn’t matter how tired I am I can only go to sleep once my brother goes to sleep (and even then he wakes up multiple times at night). Starting 16 I had to plan my school/ uni schedule around my brother’s life. I ended up failing a lot of courses not to mention I’m diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and deal with a lot mentally. I developed alcoholism and drug problems at some point, my brother would ask why I was suddenly so happy but I never failed to show up for him even during those times. He always says how happy he is that I’m with him and this is the only thing that keeps me going.
About two months ago my father announced that he bought the three of us tickets to go to our home country for the summer. I cried for a week straight as I had told him that I do not want to leave right now due to work related matters and wanting a little break but I guess he needed a housewife who will cook, clean and take care of my brother while he’s out partying. Leaving my brother at home with me wasn’t an option he wanted to consider either since he insisted that he has to be in his home country. I had to resign from the job that I worked hard to get (I was a new hire and they wouldn’t accept a two month break).
He’s been teaching my brother all sorts of bullshit that women are inferior to men and he has the right to boss me around since I’m a woman. My brother doesn’t understand any of this yet and he only uses these phrases when he’s around our father to get validation but it is becoming increasingly insufferable. I can’t stand anyone in this family I want to get out so bad but I come from a traditional household and moving out isn’t an option until I’m married. All my bank accounts are under their supervision, there’s cameras in the house so they know what I’m doing when. now my mother who i thought at least understood me says it’s time to get married and have children of my own.
I still feel an 8 year old stuck in a 21 year olds body. This is a nightmare and I don’t want to go through this process again when I’m not even done raising this kid. I was greatly disappointed with my mother because she has spent years apologizing to me for physically abusing me in the past and i thought we were getting close again. She promised to love me no matter what.
I don’t want to get married, I don’t want children. I just want people to leave me the fuck alone but it’s all every relative can ever talk about. I am so exhausted of it all. What is this cult around forcing people who clearly don’t want and can’t take care of children to have them?

My mother and I(29M) have never been all that close. Not for a lack of trying.

I should preference this by saying she is a warm, loving person, so that isn't the issue.

She was a single mother who raised me with the help of my grandparents. Which is a whole other discussion. As you might expect, she was gone a lot. Working, going to support groups that she sponsored, and she was in a relationship with one man for 15 years. She would stay the night at his house every Saturday night.

When she was around, often times she was on the phone. So much so that I refer to her as a millennial before millennials. We did things together, took trips, and ate at restaurants (when she could afford to). She always made sure my schoolwork got done, which I did not make easy.

She said some hurtful things to me growing up. Notably, she said, "You don't care about me."

I was 16/17, so I don't remember what the context of her saying that was. That was right as she dropped me off at school. I went to the bathroom and sobbed. Honestly, in my mid teens, we were the closest we ever were up until that. All these years later, and we never got that close again.

My grandmother (her mother) was emotionally abusive and often bad mouthed her, which I often took delightful part in. Much to my regret. So that may also be a factor.

Over the last 10 or so years, she's expressed frustration that we don't connect, and I often sensed it. Admittedly I not the most open person, especially around her, I'm also on the spectrum and have trouble connecting with others. Her voice also grates at me. She speaks with an airy southern mom voice, which makes it hard to listen to her. My mother has the firm expectation that because we're mother and son, we're supposed to be connected. Especially since I'm her only child.

Hey i am 21F and i never had a boyfriend nor male best friend nothing no male interaction.

So next year I'll get a job and become financially independent after that at the age of 25 my parents will look for a good arranged marriage for me. My parents were literally the opposite of each other that's why it was really difficult for me and my elder brother to survive in that environment. He is not in a good mental health State but he is trying but my father stopped talking to him because he is unemployed. But since he is 25 now she said that she doesn't want me to get a job before him as he is my brother and he will feel bad. And my heart broke.

So let me give you a back story my mum had a miscarriage before my brother so she was very overprotective towards him in a very unhealthy way. I was not a pampered kid i figured out things on my own. When I was a kid people used to call me that I am so mature but now I feel like I have to take therapy for being like that my mum always taught me to not have expectations from anyone from a very young age so now I don't ask for help i don't expect anything from anyone.

She is a very strong woman and she used to be very happy and funny.

Because of very bad situation of our family now I see a women who is tired of everything.

She kept the angry for the father for so long inside her that she turned into him slowly.

What my real mom was that has experienced by my brother only when it was my time she was different.

I am asked to behave properly not to have any relationships i should know how to cook ,clean and all the stuff because I have to somebody else house.

I am now tired of all this because how can I trust someone now to marry. It's so depressing for me she has controlled my entire life like at this point I have no opinion on clothes, the things I like i don't know anything i don't have any personality.

I know deep down she is not like that but she became like this because of the situations.

Context me and my mom got the same job opportunity somewhere and we both went and got it , along with that Im living with her in a house we both pay equal on everything. I been paying rent , for my own food, and insurance since i was 15 im tired . I cant move out because i don’t have a car and now im currently studying to take the test. Shes been just not stop she wants me to wake up 2 hours before we go to work just incase she wants to go to work early but she never does. She wakes me up to move stuff, to see something, to cook, to give her money, to say shes tired of me and ect. Usually its at a normal hour lately if shes awake EVERYONE has to be awake so she will call me out of my sleep to do stuff, it can be at 8am ,4am , 11-12pm im not getting sleep. If i go to bed early she will wake me up and stuff before she goes to bed . Theres no winning im not getting sleep and now my sister here leaving stuff every where so im cleaning after her and im working and im trying to keep the small social life i have and im not sleeping. I dont ask for anything , the only thing i ask is for a ride to work. I dont ask for money, food, love anything. I just dont know what to do im overwhelmed ,im so tired. Its like i need to do everything i cant just relax ever. And it. Doesn’t end with just not sleeping , if shes behind on something i have to pay it . If she wants something i gotta pay half just because.

Today was after working 5 days straight WE WORKED THE SAME DAYS and she woke me up out of my sleep for something i did it , i went to clean something else nothing , i go eat nothing . I close my eyes and shes calling me again for something , i do it . I go to bed , again she calls me again i start to literally cry because im tired. My job is literally walking up and down roads and stuff 8 hrs a day , i just want to relax my legs and relax. She blows up and starts yelling at me , knowing im trying to rest i been talking about sleeping in all week.

understandably, a lot of the posts on this subreddit are about people who had to care for their younger siblings as kids. i was an only child and i feel like i was heavily parentified in different ways. when i was younger i was responsible for so many aspects of my own care that i ended up developing serious hypervigilance (always worrying something would be overlooked and come back to bite me). meanwhile, my dad was so mentally ill (unmedicated bipolar) that when i (very occasionally) stayed with him i was basically caring for myself and him, rather than being cared for. and as i got older and gained an income my mom became less and less responsible/stable and tried to rely on me for money and emotional support (thankfully i've set serious boundaries and gone low contact, which has helped). there's lots more, of course, but that's a quick summary. just curious if anyone else on here has had experiences more along those lines.

Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My father worked abroad as an NRI for nearly 20 years. Every time he came home on vacation, my mother would pick fights with him. She constantly accused him of having multiple affairs and extra-marital relationships. As kids, we believed her completely. My younger brother and I started hating our dad. He never really called us or showed much affection, so it was easy to side with mom.
One year he returned, and the fights became daily and unbearable. My mother sold off almost all our properties without much discussion and moved us to another place. I was in 10th standard, my brother in 5th. A few months later, she started again — this time dragging neighbors’ names into her accusations too.
Someone finally told us she might have mental health issues. We somehow got her to a hospital (with some lies/tricks because she wouldn’t accept help). But the very next day she insisted she was fine and we couldn’t see any obvious suffering. It was so confusing.
Years earlier, the stress got to me so badly that I tried to end it with rat poison and ended up hospitalized for several days. Between all this chaos, we lived in rented homes for almost 12 years, shifting places constantly. Financially and emotionally destroyed.
I started working at 22, doing daily wage jobs before that. For the first 5 years I earned just ₹10,000 a month. Then I went abroad. In the next few years, despite a home loan, I managed to buy some property and build a house. That’s the only thing I’m proud of.
Now both my parents are aged. I’m back in the same situation — they’re still fighting as usual, even with me abroad. I never fully reconciled with my father. He was never the emotional type.
The worst part? I completely forgot about my own life. I never got married. My brother also didn’t. I’m 35 now and I feel like I’ve wasted the best years of my life dealing with this family mess. The constant fights, instability, and emotional burden took everything from me.
I don’t know if my mother truly has mental health problems or if it was something else. I don’t know how to fix the relationship with my father (if it’s even possible now). I just feel exhausted and regretful.
Has anyone gone through something similar with parental conflict and mental health denial? How did you move forward? Any advice for someone who put their entire life on hold for family drama?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Even writing this is difficult for me because I’ve never done anything like this before, but right now I really need some outside perspectives and different people’s opinions.
I’m 17, and my mom is a narcissist. Because of the way I grew up, I became a very sensitive and empathetic person who constantly feels guilty. And now I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
My mom recently broke up with her boyfriend, and their relationship was very intense and painful. They had been together for almost a year, and they recently broke up. I found out about it when I came home from work. She told me what had happened and why, and I just kind of froze. I didn’t know how to support her. At the end of her story, I asked if she wanted me to hug her. She said yes, so I hugged her. That was basically the end of the conversation.
For the past few days, I’ve been watching her struggle emotionally, and I feel an insane amount of guilt because I can’t really do anything about it. I’m barely even home when she needs me. I’m either working until late or spending time with my friend, doing random things that I’m honestly very ashamed of (things involving alcohol and other not-so-hard substances), just to escape my thoughts, exhaustion, and the desire to die.
My mom knows nothing about how I’m doing or what I’m doing. Partly because, first of all, she isn’t interested, and secondly, she has never, ever understood me. She has always dismissed and invalidated my feelings and the things I do.
At the same time, there’s geolocation on everyone’s phones in our family, which my mom doesn’t really check anyway… But I’m getting a little off-topic.
Anyway, my mom recently told me that throughout this whole situation, I haven’t supported her even once and that she has been alone within the four walls of our home the entire time. Even though I did support her. I hugged her, listened to her, and was there for her. She just wants me to stay home with her.
I don’t want to stay home because being there makes me feel even worse mentally. And soon I won’t even be able to go out much because my schedule is going to be VERY packed. I’m genuinely just trying to survive.
And I feel terrible because I’m not supporting her, but on the other hand, I’ve always dealt with my own problems by myself. I’ve never put my problems or responsibilities onto someone else.
And if I have a deep conversation with my mom, it will basically turn into me being her therapist, and afterward I’ll feel awful because I’ll end up carrying part of her emotional burden too.
I don’t want to have that conversation with her. I don’t even want to be around her because of how guilty I already feel. But at the same time, she’s my mom… and she does need me.
I could keep going and going, but that would probably be boring as hell to read.
I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me. Please help me. What am I supposed to do???

I’m 22f I’m still in the cycle of mental abusive parents and I don’t know what to do anymore. They love seeing me suffer and want to see me fail.
Why they are like this? My dad stopped buying groceries as a way to emotionally control me. My mom doesn’t want me yet she wants her 6month old baby.
They weren’t there for me when I needed help as a kid and pushed and pulled me away now their winning argument is that I’m an adult and I need to act like it and grow up. I’ve always been in a mental spiral, anti depressants only help with my depression that turned into anger.
Am I crazy? Or are they driving me crazy? And I a rude and disgusting pathetic person or am I being convinced and provoked I am? I try and when I try things get better and then something happens and I’m in the hands of my parents again. I’m scared. I don’t want to be homeless, but I don’t want to live with my manipulative lying narcissistic mentally/verbally/emotionally abusive pervert creep dad. I want to live with my mom but she’s in a weird subconscious but obvious competition with me, her fiancé is a creep too and she saw it so she doesn’t want me anymore. I’m exhausted and I feel like I can’t breathe. I have a life plan don’t get me wrong but every time I do something to get there something happens, I had a truck and I got into my very first accident. My dad has a mechanic shop and said he can find the parts and fix it, that was a month and half ago… he’s been saying he’s waiting for the parts or his workers haven’t been in work and he hasn’t been able to get started on it but he has everything just missing 1 part or suddenly he couldn’t find any of the parts and he only has 1 or he doesn’t have the money for the parts or his bank is frozen so he can’t buy the parts but he has the money and lastly, he just needs $800 to fix it. I understand wut he’s trying to do, he’s trying to fight me into getting a job and paying those 800 but bro is just greedy as fuck, also I have tried, I work food service and I haven’t been able to find a job anywhere near me or that’s cheap to Lyft to🧍🏽‍♀️on top of all of this my dog got ran over or he’s with someone??? Idk he went missing idek how long ago atp I’m so depressed. The morning he got out I ran home to ask my dad for his truck to go after my dog but he spent 30 min yelling at me saying I’m a shitty person and I’m so entitled thinking I can ask him for his truck when all I needed is to go down the block. I was running after them without shoes and they just kept booking it towards a busy main road. He spent an additional 15 minutes of getting ready for work and then we finally went out to look for my dog. We never found him 💔💔
Bruh
I’m so 🫩
I also think I’m scared to get a job again cuz I got sexually assaulted and harassed at my previous job, I reported it and they fired me 🧍🏽‍♀️

Please I’m so fucking tired why is the universe cursing me? I feel like a 10 year old and a 40 year old at the same time

I have no friends, I lost them in covid and the friends I make along the way are not the right kind of people I would like to be around, I’ve been Shmokin since I was 12 and I want to stop so badly but when it’s around me or my friends offer I fail myself and end up getting back into it

I’m not that much of a fuck up tho I’m in college for applied science of culinary arts, I start in September..

Any advice? Also pls don’t judge me im autistic level 2 with ADD, major depressive disorder, severe anxiety, and Cptsd.

Also im in therapy I have been since 2021, I also got into a psychology hyper fixation from 17 to like 20 and now im a burnt out broke loser dumbass 22 year old🧍🏽‍♀️

I (28F) am the youngest sibling of a blue collar, fundamentalist baptist family. I have spent my entire life neglected and controlled by my parents and older siblings. My parents are truly awful people and my oldest brother is just as awful, if not worse than them.

I have spent the past 27 of 28 of my years caring for my parents’ emotional and health needs while everyone in my family was absolutely horrible to me. I’m not doing it. My siblings are completely on their own with this one. During this time I also built a life for myself, obtained the highest college degree in our family, even ran a marathon, and no one was there, physically, to support me during a time I really could have used support. Not a soul. Not even just family, friends as well. I’m done. I deserve better than to have to fight for basic respect.

I deserved better than to be treated like a joke for my entire life. Best of luck and don’t call me asking what meds our parents take. While we’re at it, never talk to me ever again. I mean it. I want absolutely nothing to do with any of you assholes. I will not be giving you any money in a few years after you tanked your own lives. I won’t be shocked to find my brother’s DV and p*dophilia charges in a few years. While we’re at it, let’s get that drug screen and SA record pulled up as well. I can at least take accountability for the things I have done to others, would love to see you do the same. Best of luck, see you never.

Edit: older people on reddit (state your age), does this get better with time? Or is it worth it to cut ties entirely? I recently spoke with my aunt, my mom’s younger sister, about this to gauge her perspective. But I could use further advice on how to navigate this.