I’ve tried. God, I’ve tried. I’ve put myself out there, gone to events, improved myself, worked on my confidence, all that shit people tell you to do. And still… nothing. Just more rejection and more proof that I’m the one who’s not good enough.
I’m not even angry anymore. I’m just… empty. Fed up with hoping. Fed up with trying. Fed up with being the guy who always ends up alone while everyone else levels up in life.
I’ll be in Kerala from Dec 4 to 30.
I’m from Kottarakkara and
want to travel around and enjoy a proper vacation.
Especially looking for ideas for a nice 5-day stay somewhere relaxed – maybe a beach spot, hill station, or good backwater place. Any recommendations?
Also, any good food spots or things
happening around Christmas time?
Thanks a lot
I have been thinking a lot after posting my own story here. Reading through so many of your experiences, it feels like most of us are going through very similar things, even if the details differ. Not the big dramatic stuff you see in movies, but the everyday realities that almost everyone in our generation seems to face.
You know how it is — you’re trying to build a career or at least hold on to a stable job, but family keeps bringing up marriage and “settling down.” Then there’s the pressure of finding someone who matches not just in love, but also in caste, financial background, and all those other things society throws at us. Some days you feel motivated to push forward, other days it’s just exhausting trying to balance what you want with what everyone expects.
A lot of us end up in relationships that start with hope but slowly become about managing money, family expectations, hospital visits, and constantly “adjusting” for peace. And even when you’re surrounded by people, there’s this quiet loneliness because no one wants to admit that things aren’t perfect. We’re just normal middle-class folks dealing with rising costs, limited opportunities, and the race to get everything sorted before a certain age
Thank you all for the support on my previous post.
The constant tension at home destroyed me physically too. I stopped caring about myself — lost a lot of weight and went bald quite early. The doctor said it’s all due to extreme stress.
Both my father’s and mother’s families have completely distanced themselves. I can’t face any relatives, neighbours, or even old friends anymore because of the shame and sympathy I get. Recently when I visited my birthplace, people only talked with pity in their eyes. It was humiliating.
I feel like I’ve lost so many years and now I’m struggling to rebuild my own life. Still trying to accept that my parents won’t change and that I need to move forward for myself.
Thanks again for listening.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My father worked abroad as an NRI for nearly 20 years. Every time he came home on vacation, my mother would pick fights with him. She constantly accused him of having multiple affairs and extra-marital relationships. As kids, we believed her completely. My younger brother and I started hating our dad. He never really called us or showed much affection, so it was easy to side with mom.
One year he returned, and the fights became daily and unbearable. My mother sold off almost all our properties without much discussion and moved us to another place. I was in 10th standard, my brother in 5th. A few months later, she started again — this time dragging neighbors’ names into her accusations too.
Someone finally told us she might have mental health issues. We somehow got her to a hospital (with some lies/tricks because she wouldn’t accept help). But the very next day she insisted she was fine and we couldn’t see any obvious suffering. It was so confusing.
Years earlier, the stress got to me so badly that I tried to end it with rat poison and ended up hospitalized for several days. Between all this chaos, we lived in rented homes for almost 12 years, shifting places constantly. Financially and emotionally destroyed.
I started working at 22, doing daily wage jobs before that. For the first 5 years I earned just ₹10,000 a month. Then I went abroad. In the next few years, despite a home loan, I managed to buy some property and build a house. That’s the only thing I’m proud of.
Now both my parents are aged. I’m back in the same situation — they’re still fighting as usual, even with me abroad. I never fully reconciled with my father. He was never the emotional type.
The worst part? I completely forgot about my own life. I never got married. My brother also didn’t. I’m 35 now and I feel like I’ve wasted the best years of my life dealing with this family mess. The constant fights, instability, and emotional burden took everything from me.
I don’t know if my mother truly has mental health problems or if it was something else. I don’t know how to fix the relationship with my father (if it’s even possible now). I just feel exhausted and regretful.
Has anyone gone through something similar with parental conflict and mental health denial? How did you move forward? Any advice for someone who put their entire life on hold for family drama?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My father worked abroad as an NRI for nearly 20 years. Every time he came home on vacation, my mother would pick fights with him. She constantly accused him of having multiple affairs and extra-marital relationships. As kids, we believed her completely. My younger brother and I started hating our dad. He never really called us or showed much affection, so it was easy to side with mom.
One year he returned, and the fights became daily and unbearable. My mother sold off almost all our properties without much discussion and moved us to another place. I was in 10th standard, my brother in 5th. A few months later, she started again — this time dragging neighbors’ names into her accusations too.
Someone finally told us she might have mental health issues. We somehow got her to a hospital (with some lies/tricks because she wouldn’t accept help). But the very next day she insisted she was fine and we couldn’t see any obvious suffering. It was so confusing.
Years earlier, the stress got to me so badly that I tried to end it with rat poison and ended up hospitalized for several days. Between all this chaos, we lived in rented homes for almost 12 years, shifting places constantly. Financially and emotionally destroyed.
I started working at 22, doing daily wage jobs before that. For the first 5 years I earned just ₹10,000 a month. Then I went abroad. In the next few years, despite a home loan, I managed to buy some property and build a house. That’s the only thing I’m proud of.
Now both my parents are aged. I’m back in the same situation — they’re still fighting as usual, even with me abroad. I never fully reconciled with my father. He was never the emotional type.
The worst part? I completely forgot about my own life. I never got married. My brother also didn’t. I’m 35 now and I feel like I’ve wasted the best years of my life dealing with this family mess. The constant fights, instability, and emotional burden took everything from me.
I don’t know if my mother truly has mental health problems or if it was something else. I don’t know how to fix the relationship with my father (if it’s even possible now). I just feel exhausted and regretful.
Has anyone gone through something similar with parental conflict and mental health denial? How did you move forward? Any advice for someone who put their entire life on hold for family drama?
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.