r/KeralaRelationships

I am a dude, and both me and my sister grew up abroad, hence we are not accustomed to the traditional arranged marriage market.

We are at a stage where we are getting marriage proposals, and a few of the proposals that came for my sister listed, “fair skin”, “must look good”, “flexible career” as a requirement.

Brother where do you get the confidence to ask these requirements when you barely earn and is clapped af.The audacity of some of these men are insane.

https://preview.redd.it/jy24ei99eakh1.jpg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53f09deae128db7485140fd26ed4a978abb8d9ea

https://reddit.com/link/1vsfsa2/video/561kx4s9eakh1/player

illenki illann ang paranja pore verthe enthinadey ingne okke parayane...

I'm 24M, and I was in a relationship with my girlfriend, 22F, for around 10 months. I recently broke up with her, and I'm having a lot of mixed feelings. I want an unbiased perspective because I don't want people to blindly take my side.

We officially got together on October 19, 2025.

Before this relationship, I was very into fitness. I used to work out regularly, take care of my diet, play games, spend time with friends, and generally enjoy having my own hobbies and personal time. Fitness was a big part of my life, and I didn't want a relationship to mean completely giving up the things I enjoyed.

During the first week after we got together, I was extremely excited about the relationship. I wanted to call her, meet her and spend as much time with her as possible. But even during that first week, there were a few incidents that bothered me.

At one point, she called me a "sugar daddy." Another time, one of her friends called me and told me that she wasn't having dinner and asked me to tell her to eat. When I called her, she replied, "You don't tell me what I have to do," and cut the call.

Later, she apologized, so I didn't take it too seriously and moved on.

There was also another thing that might be relevant. One of her best friends, who studied with her, was actually the person who introduced us.

Before my girlfriend and I officially committed, I had spoken with that friend a few times. My girlfriend seemed to have a feeling that I might like her and kept asking me things like, "Do you like her?"

I never had any romantic intention toward her, and I eventually committed to my girlfriend. At the time, I didn't think much about her insecurity around this. But looking back now, I'm wondering whether that insecurity played a role in some of the problems we had later.

Things were mostly okay until we moved into a co-living PG, basically a live-in setup.

While living together, I started feeling like I was doing almost all of the household work. I would clean, wash clothes and dishes, get water, bring food from outside/PG, collect clothes, bring things back when she ordered something, and handle many of the small daily tasks.

I didn't mind helping her because I loved her, but over time I started feeling more like a caretaker or maid than a partner.

I wasn't expecting her to do everything, but I wanted the responsibilities to feel more balanced.

At the same time, I started feeling like she was becoming controlling about my personal life.

I wanted to continue going to the gym, playing games, spending time with friends and doing the things I enjoyed before the relationship. But whenever I wanted to do something for myself, it sometimes became an argument.

I started feeling like I had to explain or justify how I spent my free time. I was willing to make adjustments for the relationship, but I also wanted some independence and space to maintain my own interests.

One day she got a fever, and I took care of her and helped her a lot. Once she recovered, we had an argument over something very small.

I ordered food from Barbeque Nation. She asked me to order Coke, ice cream and chocolate. While ordering, I noticed Pepsi was available for ₹9, so I asked her whether she wanted Coke or Pepsi. She told me to remove the Coke, so I did.

Because of the way the Instamart offer worked, the order total went below the required amount, so neither the Coke nor Pepsi ended up being included. I didn't notice this at the time.

The delivery was also a little late, and she was already irritated because she was worried the ice cream would melt.

When the order arrived, some of my friends happened to be there and started talking and laughing with me for about two minutes.

She called me, heard the laughing in the background and became irritated.

When I went inside, she started scolding me and asked about the Coke. That's when I realized it wasn't in the order.

I told her I would go to a nearby shop and get it, but she told me not to go outside.

We continued fighting, and she didn't eat that day.

I was very angry because I felt she could have simply adjusted over something so small.

Later, she apologized, and I decided to let the issue go and behave normally again.

About a week later, she was folding clothes and there were two unwashed plates. I thought I would help her, so I started washing them.

She told me not to wash them.

I said something like, "It's okay, let me help you. You're already folding the clothes."

When I came out of the room, she became angry, threw clothes at me and said, "If I tell you something, you have to listen."

I became very angry and we started fighting. It almost ended in a breakup.

She later apologized and asked me to forgive her, so I gave her another chance.

Eventually, we left the PG. I went back home and she moved into a women's PG.

A few days later, she called me to meet her, so I travelled from Hosur to Bangalore to see her. We spent some time together, and afterward I went to my friend's house.

I kept asking her to come to my friend's place, but she didn't want to come.

One Friday, she initially told me she would come around 12 PM, but later changed it to around 4 PM.

At around 3:30 PM, I had a project discussion with my manager and another manager. My phone had very little charge, so I put it on charging and attended the meeting.

After the meeting, it was around 4 PM. I went to the washroom and came back around 4:10.

By then, she had already called me three times.

I immediately called her back, but she didn't answer.

Around 6 PM, she called me again and told me that she had intentionally not picked up my call because one of her friends had advised her to do it.

I became very angry.

After all these incidents, I told my girlfriend that I wanted a break from the relationship.

She started crying and asked me to give her another chance, so I gave her one.

Recently, she told me that I wasn't spending enough time with her and that I wasn't texting her like I used to.

I explained that I have been dealing with a spine/back problem, attending physiotherapy sessions and dealing with a hectic workload. Because of that, I haven't been able to spend the same amount of time or text as frequently as I did in the beginning.

This conversation happened over a phone call.

During that call, she told me:

"Now I understand why your ex left you."

That really hurt me.

By that point, I felt emotionally exhausted.

I felt like I had repeatedly adjusted, forgiven her, accepted apologies and tried to move forward, but the same cycle kept happening.

After that, we had a long conversation.

She apologized repeatedly and said she understood her mistake. She told me she wanted to change and asked me not to leave her.

She said she genuinely loved me and that she mainly wanted my time, consistency and affection.

She also explained that she had been overthinking because the relationship didn't feel like the initial honeymoon phase anymore. She said she couldn't accept that the intense early stage had changed and thought I had lost interest in her.

Later, she said she understood that life becomes busier and that couples have to build their lives separately while still supporting each other.

I understand her perspective.

I also know that I wasn't perfect.

During the final argument, I said some very harsh things because I was extremely angry and emotionally exhausted. I told her I didn't care, said I had started hating her, and brought up my ex.

I know those words were hurtful, and I regret saying some of them.

But at the same time, I felt like I had reached my limit.

I told her that I wanted my mental peace and that I didn't want to continue the relationship.

She kept asking for another chance. She said she would change and promised not to repeat the same behaviour.

But I couldn't give her another chance.

I eventually blocked her because I had asked for space several times and felt that I wasn't getting it.

Now I'm confused.

I still care about her. We had many genuinely happy moments together. She wasn't a bad person, and I know she loved me.

But I also don't want to go back into the same cycle of:

fight → hurt each other → apology → forgive → everything becomes normal → another fight.

I don't know whether I ended the relationship because we genuinely weren't compatible or because I became emotionally exhausted after too many incidents.

I also don't know whether what happened was simply a normal relationship moving past the honeymoon phase, or whether there were genuine issues with respect, boundaries, control and how we handled conflict.

I don't want people to simply tell me that she was wrong. I want an honest opinion.

Was I unreasonable for ending the relationship?

Was this just a normal relationship going through the honeymoon phase, or were there genuine compatibility, respect and boundary issues?

Did I contribute significantly to the problems?

And now that I've blocked her, should I maintain no contact for a while, or should I have one final conversation with her?

I'm genuinely looking for an unbiased perspective. If I was wrong somewhere, please tell me.

And to say more

Im not talking about the physical cheating

The non physical cheating

How does it happen , how do we know it , and what are the situations that arise

Because when people hear cheating physical comes to mind

So im clueless about how non physical cheating happen

Someone please explain

Will you stay if your ex tells that she loves you and she want you to be her friend, but dont want to be committed (if you still Love her)

My best friend said bad things about my bf in the starting of my relationship (oru kozhi ahnu enna reethiyil and can't trust ennokke one time meet cheythappol touch cheyyuvan nokki enn ok njan koodyullapol🥲she thinks ellavarum avale vayinokkal ahn enn eppozhum ingana ahnn. Aareyengilum patty ingana parayum)

but he is nothing like that. Its been very long. And he thinks my bestfriend is a pavam kutty and helping her in somethings. Now she didn't have bad opinion about him(i think so). Appol mathrame paranjittullo.should i tell this thing to my bf? Does he feel bad

6 months ago My gf told me that she didnt enjoy time with me,im done,leave me alone,over a fight.the fight was for an expectation vs response problem over a conversation through text msge. I didnt expect she would say that for that issue . So next day i called her but she didnt picked and i msg her and asked whether you told that out of anger or did you meant that. She was like "yes i meant that i m serious".i did the same for couple of days too(asking her whether she is serious).As she use to tell me abt breakup during fight i tried to talk abt it but she stood on what she said. Once i felt she was serious. I accepted what she said and moved on. Then for 3 month no contact (but i still love her).

I am someone who dont go back to people who dont want me. Idk why. may be if i go back to those people i feel like an irritation to them. Even though i love her i didnt messaged and i respected her decision, because of self respect too

After 3 months it was her birthday. I dont know why, i didnt wish her i felt i dont have to. And there was fear of ignorance too.

But she called me that day and asked me "why didnt u wish me i thought you would come to my place" i wondered how can she say that after everything she told me that day. We had a small chat and i didnt call her back too

After couple of month she text me we chatted. And we have gone through abt events and she told me that still likes me and when i asked abt what she said that day. She said that she said it out of anger and she was waiting expecting me to come back and solve it. I was confused and after some conversation she told me that i mean only this much to you. If you loved me u should have come back. I told her what i supposed to do at that point i called you text me for some day. But you stood on what you said

And she said something abt what it is an ideal relationship or partner for her. "An ideal partner or someone who love will comeback to solve even though the partner tells something like what she said to me on that day

If you were in my position would you have gone back to her?

Should i have gone back to her?

English mosham aanenkil kshemikkanam 🙏

I met this guy through a mutual friend around last Onam. We hit it off casually at first, but somehow, we ended up talking almost every single day for the past year.

To be totally honest, he’s a fair, good gooking guy, I'm a dark skinned, average nerdy looking girl.. so In the back of my mind, I always had this nagging insecurity that a guy like him wouldn't go for someone like me, and that his type would be completely different. But as the months went by, it became so hard not to fall for him because of how naturally everything was progressing.

He wasn't just someone to text when bored, he actually cared, he's a great listener, has progressive views, and never put me down, was patient and kind in a way that just made you feel safe. He cared enough to check in on me without ever being overbearing, just that comfortable sweet spot that makes you crave talking to them even more. We talked about everything, our daily lives, future plans, personal ideologies, family and deep personal stuff.

Over the year I just fell hard. I got so attached that honestly, even just seeing his name pop up on my phone gave me this quiet sense of peace.

I was too much of a coward to ask him out fac to face, so I ended up bringing it up to our mutual friend instead. I know that probably wasn't the best way to handle it. The friend talked to him and he responded to me :“You’re a gem of a person, but I’m not into you like that.”

It hurt a lot, but I accepted it. He was honest and he didn't do anything wrong.

What I’m struggling with now isn't anger, it's pure confusion. I don't blame him at all because he’s been a wonderful person to me throughout. And honestly, that’s what makes it harder to process

Obviously he just wasn't into me in a romantic way. But after talking nearly every day for a whole year and sharing so much emotional intimacy, how does someone still not develop even a spark of romantic feeling?

I just can't wrap my head around how two people can live through the exact same year together and come out of it so differently.

Did I completely misread the entire situation? Is it normal to fall in love when you're this emotionally close to someone, or was I just naive for hoping there could be something more? I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or if anyone has been through something similar.

Yoo I'm really curious about the people who're having bff of opposite gender do u guys have sex?

Why the fuck am I (27M) doing this? Why am I sitting here comforting (25F) her about another man while I am barely holding my own shit together? Why am I always the guy who gets the 5 hour phone call? Why am I the guy who knows everything? Why am I the guy who gets the drunk confession, the ex story, the situationship disaster, the post-date embarrassment, the emotional breakdown?

Why am I apparently good enough to be trusted with the ugliest parts of someone's life but somehow never important enough for them to stop and ask what the fuck is happening in mine? Am I her friend? Or am I her free therapist?

Am I the emotional support department? The 24-hour customer service desk for romantic disasters? Do I get a little fucking certificate at the end? Congratulations. You have successfully listened to another woman talk about the man she's going to fuck instead of you. Your reward is being added to Close Friends.

And the worst part is, I don't even want her. That's what makes this so stupid. I don't want a relationship with her.

I don't want to date her. I'm not sitting here wishing she'd choose me over these guys.

I just want to feel like I exist in her life outside of what I can provide. I want her to know when I'm having a shitty day. I want her to ask about my problems and actually stay there for a while. I want to be more than the person who is awake at 3 AM when somebody else's life is collapsing.

Because sometimes it feels like I'm a side character in everyone's story. People come to me when their plot needs emotional exposition.

They tell me everything.

They cry.

They confess.

They rant.

They fuck up.

I listen.

I understand.

I comfort them.

And then their actual life continues.

There's another guy.

Another crush.

Another office flirt.

Another trip.

Another date.

Another person they suddenly care about.

And I'm standing somewhere just outside the frame, holding all the information that apparently makes me important but never important enough to actually be part of the scene.

And this isn't even the first time. I have another one who does almost the same thing. She'll lovebomb me, make me feel like I'm incredibly important, talk to me constantly, and then she'll start talking to some guy at work or go on some office trip and suddenly I don't fucking exist. And then she'll come back when she needs something. Mostly an emotional tampon.

So here I am again.

And I don't even know if I'm angry at them anymore.

Maybe I'm just tired.

Tired of being useful.

Tired of being understanding.

Tired of pretending I'm completely okay listening to things that quietly hurt me.

Tired of being the guy who says, “It's okay, don't blame yourself,” when some part of me is screaming, “What about me?” Maybe I'm not a free therapist. Maybe I'm just a friend. But sometimes I wonder if there's any difference when the friendship only seems to work in one direction.

And that's the part I can't tell anyone.

Because how do you explain this without sounding pathetic? “I'm upset because a girl I'm not even romantically interested in keeps telling me about the men she's sleeping with, and it makes me feel like I don't matter.”

It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud.

But sitting here alone with it doesn't feel ridiculous.

It just feels fucking lonely.

I (23F) was in a 3 yr relatnshp with a guy (23M) I met in clg. We were genuinely compatible and got along really well. In many ways, he felt like the male version of myself

Things started falling apart when our relationship became more serious and we started talking about family, marriage, and our future together. Then I realized that our values and perspectives on certain things were very different. He grew up in a very different scenario from me, and some of his views about relationships, family, and gender started becoming major red flags for me.The arguments became more frequent, and eventually I decided to end the relationship.

It's been about a year since the breakup, and I genuinely thought we'd both moved on. I still really liked him as a person. We always had fun talking, conversations came naturally, and he was probably the person who understood me the best. Because of that, I didn't want to completely lose him from my life. I thought maybe we could eventually be friends.So I told him this and he agreed.

At first, we could talk normally and things felt easy. But gradually, things started getting weird. He would randomly bring up our relationship and say things like, "Things would've been so much easier if we were still together," or "Are you really over me? I still think about you sometimes." Then he started acting like we were still in a relationship. He'd call me repeatedly asking what I was doing or where I was going. If I went somewhere without telling him, he'd ask why I hadn't informed him. Sometimes he'd call late at night, and if I didn't answer, he'd send me multiple messages.

It started feeling less like a friendship and more like he wanted control over my life.

Now I'm starting to regret trying. Looking back, the time after our breakup when we weren't talking at all was actually much more peaceful.

Maybe some exes can genuinely become friends, but maybe it only works when both people are completely detached from the old relationship and can respect the boundaries of a friendship. In our case, it doesn't seem to be working.

I'm seriously considering ending the friendship too and going back to no contact. But I was the one who called off relationship then I wanted us to be friends and again I am calling off friendship. It's like hurting him twice.

What do you guys think?

Naming conventions in the Christian commuity has undergone changes in the last several decades. My grandmother's name has her house name as an initial but from my generation we have only my father's name, and a middle name which is most often a baptismal name. Where is the mother's name! like wtf! What is the rationale for not having the mother's surname in the baby's surname anymore? I didn't change my name after getting married- not planning to, either, because it is complete as is. So, I'm gonna argue the case for having a hyphenated surname for my babies (my surname-husband's surname). I know it's going to be mouthful, but I think it's more than fair. Has anyone else done the same?

My friend 29M had been in a relationship for 4 years with 26F . She asked if they could be in an open relationship and he denied. Later he had some suspicions and found out she had been cheating on him for a while and confronted him. Later broke up with her.She pled him back into relationship but his trust was already broken.

A few days later a guy texted and wanted to meet him regarding this and they met.That guy said he was the one who this girl cheated with and he didn't know at that time about this and he found out similarly confronting her and breaking up with her, which was when she said she wanted to get back with him.

And what my friend said to me about the meeting was kinda shocking...

He said when he saw the other guy he felt what she meant and she wasn't wrong in feeling attracted to him because he was that attractive and even he would fall for him.

He said the other guy wanted to take revenge since even though it was new he fell hard and wanted his side. And my friend asked me whether he should act upon his feelings and cheat with this guy to take revenge on her.

I don't know what to tell him . I was shocked to know about all this . Is this okay? He says he's a straight person but he still got attracted to this guy and wants to act upon it even though it is for revenge? What do I tell him ? And please tell me if this is normal for guys to act this way?

I have seen many people lose the flame after some years of marriage. Especially after kids. How do you keep it alive?

Whenever I start conversation with someone I end up being friends with especially females then they become part the life as in like friend for life. Idk why this happens. I'm all in for friendship but, worst part is detachment then feeling that loosing a small part of ourselves.

Btw I have males friends too for life.

Especially when I start with romantic interest I'll be the one who they hold onto for advice and talk to. I can't deny the fact I'm good at having conversation usually.

Appearance wise I'm not that great it could be a fact. Does anyone went through same thing, what helped actually for you?

Also when I'm pursuing someone I can go for dates and stuff. I genuinely doesn't like to even touch them(if I'm not close) or have anything planned like to sleep with them(this no way) Doesn't even cross my mind as in real life.

I make a good company.

Have you been through same any advice

I’m a male in my late 20s from Kerala, and I think I’m finally done with the whole matrimonial search.

I’ve been trying for a while now, but at this point I’m just tired. I’m a pretty reserved and shy person, so approaching a girl in real life has never really been my thing. I’m also not someone who is good at casual flirting, dating apps, or talking to someone for months without knowing where it’s actually going.

That’s actually one of the reasons I chose matrimonial platforms in the first place. I liked the fact that the intention is clear from the beginning. You talk, get to know each other, and if things work out, you take it forward. There’s less of the usual guessing, flirting, or timepass. I thought that would suit someone like me better.

But honestly, online matrimonial comes with its own set of problems.

I’m just an average guy working a private job with an average income, and sometimes it feels like that simply isn’t enough for the expectations on matrimonial platforms. What makes it more frustrating is that even when I come across profiles where almost every basic criteria seems to match, things still end in rejection. I’ve talked to a few proposals, had some good conversations, and even felt like things might actually go somewhere. But eventually, everything just ended without any clear reason.

After a while, you start questioning yourself. Was it my looks? My income? My personality? Did I say something wrong? Or was there just no interest from the other side?

I also can't help but feel that things would have been very different if I had a Grade A government job or a much higher income. Maybe the same person I am today would suddenly become a much more acceptable proposal. I know that’s probably not the only factor, but it’s hard not to think about it after going through this repeatedly.

And honestly, I’m just tired of putting myself through it.

Maybe I should have figured this out earlier and focused more on preparing for a good government job. Maybe things would have been different. But there’s no point thinking about what I could have done years ago.

So I think I’m going to stop actively looking now. Whatever happens, happens. If someone comes into my life naturally, I’ll see where it goes. Otherwise, I’ll just accept it and move on with my life.

I know this probably sounds a bit pessimistic, but right now I just needed to get it off my chest.