r/KeralaRelationships

A very close friend of mine comes from a Latin Catholic family and is getting married to his longtime girlfriend, who belongs to the Syro Malabar Catholic community. During a family gathering, one of the bride’s uncles made a comment about my friend’s family belonging to a supposedly “low-caste fisherman community.” When it became awkward, they brushed it off as a joke.
For context, my friend is a doctor, his parents are well known lawyers in Kochi, and even his great grandfathers were doctors and lawyers. Meanwhile, the bride’s family runs a business and isn’t particularly wealthy or highly educated. Not that any of this should matter, because these things shouldn’t determine their worth in the first place.
What upset my friend wasn’t being associated with the fishing community. There’s absolutely nothing shameful about that. It was the assumption that being Latin Catholic automatically made his family socially inferior.
What was supposed to be a happy evening turned into an awkward one. Thankfully, his gf is a great person and apologized on her uncle’s behalf that very evening.
I come from a Syro malabar family myself and has a gf from the Latin community and we’ve never looked down on anyone because of their caste or religious background. My parents taught me better. But I’m not going to pretend this attitude doesn’t exist within parts of the Syrian Christian community.
My question is, when are we going to move past this obsession with caste among Christians in Kerala? How are we still making these distinctions in 2026, especially when we’re supposed to belong to the same faith?

Almost everyone has a “type” when it comes to sexual attraction, and there are features that some people find repulsive/unattractive. I even know someone who had marriage problems at the beginning of their marriage because of this reason. I wonder how many arranged marriage couples have faced similar problems, and how they communicated it with their partner without hurting their feelings.

Naan ingane aloikuayirunnu ,school il padikkumbo enikk ondaya crush ithvare marannittia. Ee crush thodanghumbo I was in 7th grade. I never got the chance to confess but I knew he liked me too. The last time we saw each other was in 10th grade. 7-8 years have passed but still I think about him sometimes. I've also been single till now.

Choich vannath. Boys nm ithpole aano. Ningal ningade first crush ne patti oorkarundo?? Any regrets for not confessing?

Hi everyone!

Use this thread to discuss stuff which you wanna share but doesn't feel that it needs a separate thread. It could be a small win/milestone in your relationship, vent, or just random casual discussions on anything.

Have a great week ahead!

What's on her mind guys, the context is I went to attent a pooja. It's conducting my ammas home. It's two day pooja, first day my fam couldn't attend. We went to next day morning, were so late that time to arrive. Mostly 7 fam on the pooja. When I first enter the home with my fam, dad nd elder bro. I got payasam from valliyamma, then I got panchamritha from a girl. I ask her give little cause I on suger cut nd winter ark. She look at me while giving that prasadham. I didn't look at her. Then she's gone. I am also roaming around the home to cach my brother. Then I find my cousins, she also sit near to my cousins. While I talking to cousins, we had glance, not once, kinda njan evde poyalum Eval enne nokkum. Appo njanum nokkum, aval interested ann en olla nottam

We took a group photo only the cousins. While doing a selfie she also stand near to me. Manasil laddu potti. Najangal kann kond samasarichu, cause all fam around us. Pinne povan neeram buy okke panju, poonnu

Ee kayam ente friendsnod paraju, ennuk crush adichunn, ennal mutti nokkan paranju, than I started looks her id in ig, I got her from our mutual cousin.

I send request, she accepted. I didn't open her profile cause i am too tired.

Next morning she posted a story, it's yesterday group selfie. I give her like, then look her profile

I stunned, she is engaged ☠️, few couple photo on her profile. I felt like glikson 😔

I asking to my self why she give me that looks continuously. Idk could u help me with her psychology.

A few years back, almost every relationship felt real and fake ones were actually rare. Now it feels like genuine relationships are the rare ones Nowadays everyone seems to want a physical relationship before marriage. I don’t know, maybe I’m just boring, but I really don’t like this generation.🙂

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I met him at work when he was already married. At the time everyone in our office including me thought he had an almost perfect marriage. He had been with his wife for around 10 years,they dated for about 8 years,lived together after college and had been married for two years. He constantly posted pictures and stories with her and we all genuinely admired them as an “ideal couple”

I was also in a relationship at the time although mine was extremely toxic and on and off. Eventually that relationship ended.

Over time, this man became my best friend. Both our then partners knew about the other person and the friendship. It was nothing more than that.We no longer work together or even live in the same city but we remained friends. We worked together for just 1 year.

It was only after becoming close friends that I slowly realized his marriage wasn't anything like what it looked like from the outside.

He would vent out about serious fights at his home with wife, sometimes even fights involving their families. Yet on the same day he would post happy, romantic pictures with her. Once I asked him how he could do that after telling me they had just had a huge fight. He told me “This is how it is every time. I post these things because it makes me happy. Atleast dont question my long standing relationship” He saw that an achievement that he married the person he dated for so long(it is a flex indeed) and there were lot in college who used to say this relationship won't last and his posts are a constant reminder to those that it worked out. This is one of the reasons i stopped believing the happy couple posts in social media anymore. But it was always him who does that she never posts anything. One day I remember he was jumping in happiness that she sent a thank you msg to him for teaching her swimming. Her parents appreciated her skills and she felt thankful he taught her. I asked him why are you sooo excited for that, why are you sharing this with me isnt this a regular thing. He said this is the first time she expressed such a thing to him. So instances like these made me understand that he shares a less romantic, less intense, thankless relationship with her.

Even then I never questioned their relationship, these are the judgements i made to myself. Quite the opposite I repeatedly told him to work on his marriage and give it a genuine chance when fights came.I understood that marriage was very different from a relationship and didn't want to interfere.

Eventually things became much worse. They stopped speaking even while living under the same roof over a big fight. Their families involved and there were several discussions and confrontations.

During one such conversations his wife admitted something that completely changed his understanding of their entire relationship.

She said she didn't have romantic love for him. She didn't hate him and she wanted to continue living with him because she was comfortable with him and couldn't imagine living with anyone else. But she didn't feel the kind of love he had always believed existed between them. Everybody knows that she has attachment issues even with her family or anyone else either.but thought he is an exception.

For more than a decade he had believed that she loved him deeply but simply wasn't expressive.He had interpreted her lack of emotional expression as her personality, while believing that he was the one person she was truly attached to.

He felt like his entire understanding of his life had collapsed. He became severely distressed and even suicidal during that period.

There was also very little physical intimacy throughout their relationship. According to him they had sex fewer than 20 times over more than a decade. Whenever he tried to discuss the issue or suggested counselling/medical help she would interpret it as him only wanting sex and call him a “sex maniac” and making tantrums out of it.This is even mentioned in their divorce petition and she doesnt disagree any of him claims.

Eventually, she moved back to her parents' home. They remained separated.

He filed for divorce because after what she had told him he no longer felt there was a marriage left to save.

They have now been living separately for around three years. His divorce was finally signed for mutual consent earlier this year and the legal process should be completed soon.

And somewhere during all of this something completely unexpected happened.

He and I fell in love.

There was no affair while they were living together.I wasn't secretly trying to get him away from his wife. In fact I have messages from the period when his marriage was falling apart where I was telling him to work on things and give her another chance.

Our feelings developed only after they were separated and after he had emotionally detached from the marriage.

He is now my best friend, my partner and genuinely the person I always dreamed I would end up with. We have been together for over a year now, although our friendship goes back much further. We've also been through a lot of the divorce process together and have helped each other heal from our previous relationships and everything that happened during that period.

For both of us this relationship feels like a second chance at life. We are incredibly grateful for each other and are waiting for the divorce to officially finish so that we can build our life together.

But there is one thing I can't stop worrying about.

Because our relationship happened during the divorce process and because we may announce our relationship/marriage relatively soon after the divorce is officially completed, I'm terrified that people will say

“She was the other woman”

“She broke up a 10 year relationship”

“This is why his marriage failed”

“She waited until he got divorced”

We know when our relationship actually began. We know what happened inside his marriage. I know because I was there as his friend throughout the breakdown, long before we became a couple. But obviously we can't prove our entire emotional timeline to everyone.

And I know people may look at the timeline and create their own story. Even his ex-wife would make claims like that i donno. I would like to clarify one thing that she isn't a vile woman, the only issue she had was in her marriage. She used her partner as a giver and took that for granted always. Otherwise i have not found her a problemetic person and i really wish she also finds love again.

I don't want to be seen as a 3sha/other woman/marriage breaker when I genuinely wasn't one.

So I'm asking Redditors: How would you perceive this situation from the outside? Would you consider me the other woman or an affair partner simply because our relationship developed while his divorce was still ongoing?

I know we can't control what people think.I'm more interested in whether, the timeline makes this look like something it wasn't or whether I'm worrying too much about how other people will perceive us.

I tried using one of my genuinely good photos, and my friend did the same. He even purchased the premium option and ended up getting a bunch of matches, while I didn’t really get the same results.

I’m not jealous of him or anything,I’m just talking about what I’ve personally experienced. From what I’ve noticed, looks seem to play a pretty significant role on dating apps, especially for men. If a guy is average-looking, it can be much harder to get that initial opportunity to actually talk to someone and let his personality show.
At the same time, I know this is just my personal experience and not necessarily how it works for everyone. There are obviously other factors involved too.

For girls, I’ve also noticed something interesting from people I know personally. I have two friends one who is conventionally pretty and another who is more average-looking and both seem to get a decent number of matches without paying for premium. Again, that’s just my personal observation, not a universal rule.

Not sure if anyone can relate with this.. It's been 37 years as a woman on this earth..

Tried to give 100% in every relationship... But realised it was my longing to have a family that lived.. They were not in love... I was chasing a feeling i wanted to live.. Was craving a home, was craving belongingness and was trying to fit in.. But one day things changed.. They stopped when i stopped reaching out.. Never been proposed in my life.. Nobody told i looked beautiful... Bo clue why nothing worked for me...

Lack of emotional warmth or bond will affect us negatively.. We will even start losing memory and focus..

Anybody had similar experience? Now, kind of accepted that i will fade like this without having much impact or presence in life.. It's such an emptiness...

I've been in a fwb (27M, 21F). We never did anything sexual just kissing. Eventually, I caught feelings, so I decided to end it myself. We stayed friends afterward and texted casually once in a while.

It's been almost a month since I ended things. It was really hard not to think about him, but I was slowly starting to move on.

A few days ago, he texted me saying he still craves me. The moment I read that, everything I had done to keep him out of my mind felt like it had gone to waste. Later, he said he wasn't trying to restart anything—he just wanted to tell me what was on his mind.

today, I texted him again, and he was actually rude. I don't understand this person at all. I'm so shattered, and I don't know how to move on from him.

For context : in 7th standard, i had this friend called lets say C. I only knew her for a month.

She had a bf who was 21 year old at that time💀. Her parents didn't know.

Apparently they used to video call each other and all that. After that year, i lost contact so much so that i don't even remember her full name.

Her bf was a college student.

I wish i said something to the teacher cause now that i'm older and think about it, it's a crime and who knows what's doing now.

I just hope they break up and he's forever single.