r/KeralaRelationships

This is one of the traumatic experience I had…

I studied in ekm for a few years.. after that all my frnds left… but I stayed for work…
At that time I was staying in a hostel and I had this roommate Chechi .. she’s so sweet and so helping…
Later both of us decided to move out..
finding a good place to stay was a hectic process for us… Finally we got this rented upstairs place…

Life actually became peaceful.

Then every weekend, this guy and a small child would come visit her. We’d all go out… but half of the time she’d make me baby sit…
And the child called her’kunja’

I genuinely thought they were husband, wife, and child. Like full cute little family setup.

Then one random day, chechi packed all her things and casually told me:
I’ll be back in a week.

She never came back.

No calls. No messages. Nothing.

After weeks of confusion, I started stalking her Instagram. Then I saw a post.
Her and that guy standing in front of some resort or smthg

“Finally together ❤️”

BRO WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINALLY TOGETHER????
I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE ALREADY MARRIED 😭

Turns out… that man already had a wife and the chid was theirs.

This Chechi was his side chick

And somehow… I became the villain in everyone’s story

Her parents got my number and literally yelled at me saying I supported their daughter. Another lady from my workplace side accused me too because she knew the actual wife’s side. Since people always saw me hanging around with the child, they assumed I was involved in the whole thing.njn ee kochine Kond funtura il povarunn.. the lady who was this actual wife’s company kaari thought I’m this wife’s frnd…so avark ahnnu doubt thonni illa.. pinne ithokke arinjappo they thought I’m the helper of this avihitham

I explained everything to both sides and ellam onnu odhukki teerth… I came back to my stay… appo there is this house help chechi … that Chechi casually fun ayitt parayuva.. they thought njn ahnu that chekkante koode poyenn… njn ah.. ah home wrecker nn Avaru vicharich nn… u know y?? There is this stereotype that south side ppl are scammers…

Ithinu okke njn entha cheyyandey..😭 then I immediately shifted places… now I have this serious trust issues…
How do you go back to trusting people normally again?
And is becoming extra cautious/prejudging people actually a bad thing… or just adult survival skills?

This post may seem illogical idk this has been in my mind for long ! But is it just me or do you also feel sad/bad when someone texts you after they left you for no reason let it be a breakup or an argument which led to cutting off bonds , no matter how much i try not to care even if it’s someone who hurt me alot i fall for it and forgive talk and make them feel good :) i still don’t why i am doing this 🧑‍🦽‍➡️

How does it feel after we say goodbye to a person we loved deeply? What are some things we can do to overcome it and stop thinking about him?

She after spending together 6 months told our vibes dont match, now i am confused & hopeless even if I one day get married will this happen, how come after 4-5 months of best moments of lyf turn out to be no match.
How do ppl try again & again in each relationship where with just one i feel my heart can never be full again. Wouldn’t lyf & heart be fragmented to pieces

I tested my boyfriend, and he failed. I posted about it here, and many people told me to ghost him or break up with him.

I tried to ghost him, but I couldn’t do it. My mind kept going back to him again and again. When we talked about breaking up, he told me he loved me a lot and said he would d!e if we broke up. The truth is, even I couldn’t leave him.

So we patched things up again. After that, I never brought up the test thing anymore. I didn’t ask him about it and I didn't ask his Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, or Telegram either. In fact, he asked to see mine, and I showed him everything. Last night, we talked happily till 2 AM without any problems.

But this morning, everything changed again. From the moment I woke up, he started calling me bad names, saying unnecessary hurtful things, and acting like he wouldn’t care even if I left him.

At this point, I genuinely don’t understand whose fault this is anymore mine or his?. I don’t even know how to solve this relationship. Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m the red flag here.

I’m 23F,since five years I liked a guy 24M,Iconfessed to him but was a no, it took my two years to move on(thought I did) I downloaded “dating app” where I met this guy 28M in January, he is pursuing his UPSC, still haven’t met him, but vibes were good so I thought I finally moved on but he never asked me out it’s been five months, he had told me we will go out after his prelims this month but we are no contact for a month already. What should I do? I also kind feel guilty moving on from that guy.

As in what estimated percentage of Kerala indulge in this? (% for my peace of mind). Asking cause I'm not someone who get into the deed without emotional connection present, likewise I'm not into girls who get into alot of casual flings without emotional connection. I'm not judging people who do it as they have their reasons.

We usually talk about what we want from a partner in relationships, but sometimes the bigger factor is the life situation we come from.

So I’m curious:

What are the privileges you wish you had in your life that would have made your relationships easier or better?

Would like to hear honest perspectives from people here.

Why are people, especially younger generation so easily jumping in to Suicidal Tendencies or attempts. Teacher scolds, low Marks, Father angry, Girl left - common how much we faced during our lives and that made us only stronger

Asking for my sister who is going through dowry harrasment. Married for 10years and still it continues

Hi guys, I’m 27M. All my friends have already found their better half and are planning to get married very soon, but nothing has worked out for me so far. I’ve done my part and put in the effort, but things didn’t go as planned.

The issue now is that I’m getting peer pressure from friends to find someone or go through matrimony. Career-wise, I’m not where I want to be yet. I feel like I can still get a better job and build a better lifestyle, so I don’t really feel like finding someone right now.

But everyone keeps saying that age is running out, and honestly, I’m totally confused. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you manage it?

One of my childhood friends turned 31 this year. She has a good job in IT and is financially stable, and is honestly a very kind person. But she still lives with her family in a rented house, and most of her salary goes toward supporting them financially.

The issue is that her parents don’t seem interested in her getting married because they depend heavily on her income. There’s no pressure from them regarding marriage at all, even though she personally wants to get married and have her own family.

She’s also very quiet and reserved, has never been in a relationship, and doesn’t use dating apps. On top of that, her parents are not allowing her to create a matrimony profile either, and I honestly feel that’s selfish.

Now in our entire friend circle, only the two of us are unmarried. Whenever people ask her about marriage, she can’t even tell them the real reason honestly, and I can see how uncomfortable and emotionally draining that is for her.

I feel really bad because it seems like her personal life is being sacrificed for her family’s financial comfort. Am I wrong for thinking this? How can I support her?

See the reel on how she is struggling to express her condition to a psychologist. It is heart breaking.

My question is, if her condition is not fixable even after years, how will she marry? Whom will she live with for the rest of her life? Who is there to take care of her when she needs care?

What will she do when she grows older, past 40, past 50, past 60? Won't she feel lonely? And what do guys in this situation do?

23F and 24M.

We met during bank coaching. She was the outgoing type and I was the introverted one. She actually talked to me first because initially I barely spoke to anyone. Slowly we became close. Late-night chats, calls, inside jokes, talking about films, books, random gossip, relationships... basically everything. At that time, she was only person I could open up to and it was the same for her.

She had just come out of a bad breakup and according to her, her ex manipulated her into a physical relationship. She was in a really bad place mentally. I was there for her through all of it. I listened to her cry on calls, motivated her to keep studying, tried to make her feel better.

I cracked the bank exam on my first attempt and moved to another city. My work is very hectic, around 10 to almost 8 every day, but I still made time for her because talking to her felt like relief after exhausting days.

She couldn't crack the exams, but later her uncle referred her for a private company job in an IT park. I was genuinely happy for her. In the beginning she told me everything — about work, her day, new experiences. I was excited because I had seen her at her lowest.

Then slowly things changed.

Replies got slower. She stopped initiating conversations. I felt like I was slowly fading from her life. She would tell me about her new friends there, guys hitting on her and all that. I acted cool, but truthfully I was lowkey jealous. Even the pictures she posted or sent me sometimes made me feel weirdly unwanted and I didn't understand why.

Last week she told me she's dating someone she met there.

And my heart just sank.

The weird thing is I don't even know if I was in love with her. I never confessed anything. I never even properly thought about it. But I got attached. I think somewhere I believed what we had meant something bigger.

Now I just feel stupid because maybe I was living in a story inside my own head while she was just living her life.

Just wanted to rant.

What’s something in modern dating or relationships that people pretend is “normal” but actually messes people up emotionally?

Could be ghosting, mixed signals, attachment issues, situationships, social media behavior, playing hard to get, emotional unavailability, anything.

I feel like a lot of unhealthy things became so common that people stopped questioning them.

Curious what people think??