Title: I broke up with my girlfriend after 10 months. Did I make the right decision?
​
I'm 24M, and I was in a relationship with my girlfriend, 22F, for around 10 months. I recently broke up with her, and I'm having a lot of mixed feelings. I want an unbiased perspective because I don't want people to blindly take my side.
We officially got together on October 19, 2025.
Before this relationship, I was very into fitness. I used to work out regularly, take care of my diet, play games, spend time with friends, and generally enjoy having my own hobbies and personal time. Fitness was a big part of my life, and I didn't want a relationship to mean completely giving up the things I enjoyed.
During the first week after we got together, I was extremely excited about the relationship. I wanted to call her, meet her and spend as much time with her as possible. But even during that first week, there were a few incidents that bothered me.
At one point, she called me a "sugar daddy." Another time, one of her friends called me and told me that she wasn't having dinner and asked me to tell her to eat. When I called her, she replied, "You don't tell me what I have to do," and cut the call.
Later, she apologized, so I didn't take it too seriously and moved on.
There was also another thing that might be relevant. One of her best friends, who studied with her, was actually the person who introduced us.
Before my girlfriend and I officially committed, I had spoken with that friend a few times. My girlfriend seemed to have a feeling that I might like her and kept asking me things like, "Do you like her?"
I never had any romantic intention toward her, and I eventually committed to my girlfriend. At the time, I didn't think much about her insecurity around this. But looking back now, I'm wondering whether that insecurity played a role in some of the problems we had later.
Things were mostly okay until we moved into a co-living PG, basically a live-in setup.
While living together, I started feeling like I was doing almost all of the household work. I would clean, wash clothes and dishes, get water, bring food from outside/PG, collect clothes, bring things back when she ordered something, and handle many of the small daily tasks.
I didn't mind helping her because I loved her, but over time I started feeling more like a caretaker or maid than a partner.
I wasn't expecting her to do everything, but I wanted the responsibilities to feel more balanced.
At the same time, I started feeling like she was becoming controlling about my personal life.
I wanted to continue going to the gym, playing games, spending time with friends and doing the things I enjoyed before the relationship. But whenever I wanted to do something for myself, it sometimes became an argument.
I started feeling like I had to explain or justify how I spent my free time. I was willing to make adjustments for the relationship, but I also wanted some independence and space to maintain my own interests.
One day she got a fever, and I took care of her and helped her a lot. Once she recovered, we had an argument over something very small.
I ordered food from Barbeque Nation. She asked me to order Coke, ice cream and chocolate. While ordering, I noticed Pepsi was available for ₹9, so I asked her whether she wanted Coke or Pepsi. She told me to remove the Coke, so I did.
Because of the way the Instamart offer worked, the order total went below the required amount, so neither the Coke nor Pepsi ended up being included. I didn't notice this at the time.
The delivery was also a little late, and she was already irritated because she was worried the ice cream would melt.
When the order arrived, some of my friends happened to be there and started talking and laughing with me for about two minutes.
She called me, heard the laughing in the background and became irritated.
When I went inside, she started scolding me and asked about the Coke. That's when I realized it wasn't in the order.
I told her I would go to a nearby shop and get it, but she told me not to go outside.
We continued fighting, and she didn't eat that day.
I was very angry because I felt she could have simply adjusted over something so small.
Later, she apologized, and I decided to let the issue go and behave normally again.
About a week later, she was folding clothes and there were two unwashed plates. I thought I would help her, so I started washing them.
She told me not to wash them.
I said something like, "It's okay, let me help you. You're already folding the clothes."
When I came out of the room, she became angry, threw clothes at me and said, "If I tell you something, you have to listen."
I became very angry and we started fighting. It almost ended in a breakup.
She later apologized and asked me to forgive her, so I gave her another chance.
Eventually, we left the PG. I went back home and she moved into a women's PG.
A few days later, she called me to meet her, so I travelled from Hosur to Bangalore to see her. We spent some time together, and afterward I went to my friend's house.
I kept asking her to come to my friend's place, but she didn't want to come.
One Friday, she initially told me she would come around 12 PM, but later changed it to around 4 PM.
At around 3:30 PM, I had a project discussion with my manager and another manager. My phone had very little charge, so I put it on charging and attended the meeting.
After the meeting, it was around 4 PM. I went to the washroom and came back around 4:10.
By then, she had already called me three times.
I immediately called her back, but she didn't answer.
Around 6 PM, she called me again and told me that she had intentionally not picked up my call because one of her friends had advised her to do it.
I became very angry.
After all these incidents, I told my girlfriend that I wanted a break from the relationship.
She started crying and asked me to give her another chance, so I gave her one.
Recently, she told me that I wasn't spending enough time with her and that I wasn't texting her like I used to.
I explained that I have been dealing with a spine/back problem, attending physiotherapy sessions and dealing with a hectic workload. Because of that, I haven't been able to spend the same amount of time or text as frequently as I did in the beginning.
This conversation happened over a phone call.
During that call, she told me:
"Now I understand why your ex left you."
That really hurt me.
By that point, I felt emotionally exhausted.
I felt like I had repeatedly adjusted, forgiven her, accepted apologies and tried to move forward, but the same cycle kept happening.
After that, we had a long conversation.
She apologized repeatedly and said she understood her mistake. She told me she wanted to change and asked me not to leave her.
She said she genuinely loved me and that she mainly wanted my time, consistency and affection.
She also explained that she had been overthinking because the relationship didn't feel like the initial honeymoon phase anymore. She said she couldn't accept that the intense early stage had changed and thought I had lost interest in her.
Later, she said she understood that life becomes busier and that couples have to build their lives separately while still supporting each other.
I understand her perspective.
I also know that I wasn't perfect.
During the final argument, I said some very harsh things because I was extremely angry and emotionally exhausted. I told her I didn't care, said I had started hating her, and brought up my ex.
I know those words were hurtful, and I regret saying some of them.
But at the same time, I felt like I had reached my limit.
I told her that I wanted my mental peace and that I didn't want to continue the relationship.
She kept asking for another chance. She said she would change and promised not to repeat the same behaviour.
But I couldn't give her another chance.
I eventually blocked her because I had asked for space several times and felt that I wasn't getting it.
Now I'm confused.
I still care about her. We had many genuinely happy moments together. She wasn't a bad person, and I know she loved me.
But I also don't want to go back into the same cycle of:
fight → hurt each other → apology → forgive → everything becomes normal → another fight.
I don't know whether I ended the relationship because we genuinely weren't compatible or because I became emotionally exhausted after too many incidents.
I also don't know whether what happened was simply a normal relationship moving past the honeymoon phase, or whether there were genuine issues with respect, boundaries, control and how we handled conflict.
I don't want people to simply tell me that she was wrong. I want an honest opinion.
Was I unreasonable for ending the relationship?
Was this just a normal relationship going through the honeymoon phase, or were there genuine compatibility, respect and boundary issues?
Did I contribute significantly to the problems?
And now that I've blocked her, should I maintain no contact for a while, or should I have one final conversation with her?
I'm genuinely looking for an unbiased perspective. If I was wrong somewhere, please tell me.