He said I’m 'a gem of a person, but not like that.' How do I process this after a year of daily texts?
I met this guy through a mutual friend around last Onam. We hit it off casually at first, but somehow, we ended up talking almost every single day for the past year.
To be totally honest, he’s a fair, good gooking guy, I'm a dark skinned, average nerdy looking girl.. so In the back of my mind, I always had this nagging insecurity that a guy like him wouldn't go for someone like me, and that his type would be completely different. But as the months went by, it became so hard not to fall for him because of how naturally everything was progressing.
He wasn't just someone to text when bored, he actually cared, he's a great listener, has progressive views, and never put me down, was patient and kind in a way that just made you feel safe. He cared enough to check in on me without ever being overbearing, just that comfortable sweet spot that makes you crave talking to them even more. We talked about everything, our daily lives, future plans, personal ideologies, family and deep personal stuff.
Over the year I just fell hard. I got so attached that honestly, even just seeing his name pop up on my phone gave me this quiet sense of peace.
I was too much of a coward to ask him out fac to face, so I ended up bringing it up to our mutual friend instead. I know that probably wasn't the best way to handle it. The friend talked to him and he responded to me :“You’re a gem of a person, but I’m not into you like that.”
It hurt a lot, but I accepted it. He was honest and he didn't do anything wrong.
What I’m struggling with now isn't anger, it's pure confusion. I don't blame him at all because he’s been a wonderful person to me throughout. And honestly, that’s what makes it harder to process
Obviously he just wasn't into me in a romantic way. But after talking nearly every day for a whole year and sharing so much emotional intimacy, how does someone still not develop even a spark of romantic feeling?
I just can't wrap my head around how two people can live through the exact same year together and come out of it so differently.
Did I completely misread the entire situation? Is it normal to fall in love when you're this emotionally close to someone, or was I just naive for hoping there could be something more? I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or if anyone has been through something similar.