u/MelodicCaterpillar77

I need advice , so throughout my life ,

So when people start saying shit about me to get laughs in the circle , or chumma full mocking or sarcasm or saying digs on me in a comedic way for laughs

Basically namale ittu ookunu , or aaakuna type be it on anything

I feel I don't know how to respond,

I've tried being defensive or react little angrily or trying to be cool or not saying anything or just smiling.

Ithu onum is not effective, avarku enthelm oke content ondaki ookun even if 1% isn't true

And friends edayil or generally any circle with ppl i get targeted as I don't know how to counter adikal or say quick counters or reply on spot for any remarks be it harmless or whatever

Ookan thirich eniku patunum illa

For for any ooku I had difficulties saying counter adi to anybody or anything or ookuka

And the worst part is i don't even annoy anyone or try to intrude into their business , i just normally mind my own thing or stay silent that's what is confusing me avare verupikar illa njn

they are always targeting and making jokes on me and they act actually friendly with me while asking personal when it's convenient for them

And they're waiting for me to say something or ask any questions if i don't ask even if I stay silent they will come and i irritate and still answering anything they make content onwards and start ragebaiting or ookuka me

I've tried communicating to few saying Ingane oooku kalu en , they said ithoke fun ale and proceed to make up saying I'm getting hurt

And next situation they used it against me saying njn ipo feel avum

What hurts me is that anything I say or don't even say they assume and put digs or make remarks or jokes on me to get others entertained

Even girls and boys also both equally ene itu ookkine that everyone knows its easy to ookuka me as I don't have any comebacks or eniku angane reply kodukan ariyila en

To be honest I try to act unbothered but I'm not ,how do I develop a thollikati

I'm indeed clueless after joining for a job in corporate for the first time

I wanted all of your advice and tips and everything with regards to everything that might help me .

What is the most useful tips about working in corporate or u wished u knew sooner?

Anyone else feel this way?

Though I do get occasional crushes on people, they usually fade away after a while. I just think, "Yeah, she's attractive," and then move on with my day. I don't obsess over them, try to find out more about them, or make any moves.

I've never approached a girl with the intention of getting into a relationship or "set aakkan nokkal." In fact, I don't even feel like approaching someone because I automatically think I'd just be a disturbance. I assume they probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway.

A big part of that comes from how I see myself. I'm dark, overweight, and I don't consider myself attractive. So my mind immediately goes, "Why bother?" They'll probably judge me, find me creepy, or think I'm just another desperate guy.

Because of that, I feel like putting in any effort is pointless. Even if I approached someone respectfully, I feel I'd still be seen as a kozhi or desperate, and they'd end up having a negative impression of me.

Over time, I've also started feeling emotionally numb and empty. My brain automatically jumps to the worst-case scenario in almost everything: rejection, embarrassment, or being made fun of. So I avoid trying altogether.

The only time I talk to women is at work that too when there's a necessity, and even then it's mostly about work-related discussions or when we're in a group. Outside of that, I rarely initiate conversations or no one approaches me .

What's confusing is that I've never had a very strong desire to be in a romantic relationship. Sometimes I think about something casual like an fling or situationship or FWB, so that I won't get hurt but even then I end up giving myself a pep talk about how I'm not attractive enough, not good-looking enough, and that even if I did try, she'd probably already be seeing someone , or having multiple options and I'd just be wasting my time.

Ironically, what I've craved much more than a relationship is genuine friendship. It's loneliness that affects me more than being single.

Does anyone else relate to this? Or has anyone else experienced something similar?

I've noticed something over the years in my life whether it's in school, college, home life or the workplace alengil any parupadi

Whenever there's an event that needs volunteers alengil taking part be it hosting, dancing, singing, performing on stage, being part of something fun activities or being like something like just vibin or organizing activities, or representing the group or doing something or whatever

it often seems like the women/ girls are more willing to step forward and take the initiative ,avaru mumbil nikum

But guys (like me ) and a lot of the men I know or have seen tend to stay in the background or not take any initiative or just react with, "Why are we being made to do this?" or "Can someone else do it?" Or " veruthe madupu " or kuttam paranju , counter adich namal porakil nikum basically vallinju porakil thane nikum ,

Unless compelled or asked to do (by teachers or whoever)

Basically guys remain really chill I've noticed and girls nalla reethiyil pressure edukunu in almost all aspects or maybe pedi?

Obviously this isn't true for everyone, but it's a pattern I've personally noticed.

I'm curious why this might be the case is it actually true ?

Or am i chumma generalising ?

Has anyone else noticed this, or has your experience been completely different?

Share ur stories pleasee

I've noticed something over the years in my life whether it's in school, college, or the workplace alengil any parupadi

Whenever there's an event that needs volunteers alengil taking part be it hosting, dancing, singing, performing on stage, being part of something fun activities or being like something like just vibin or organizing activities, or representing the group or whatever

it often seems like the women/ girls are more willing to step forward and take the initiative ,avaru mumbil nikum enthinum

But guys (like me ) and a lot of the men I know or have seen tend to stay in the background or not take any initiative or just react with, "Why are we being made to do this?" or "Can someone else do it?" Or " veruthe madupu " or kuttam paranju , counter adich namal porakil nikum basically vallinju porakil thane nikum

Unless compelled or asked to do or if no choice given (by teachers or whatever necessity )

Obviously this isn't true for everyone, but it's a pattern I've personally noticed.

I'm curious why this might be the case is it actually true ? If so why and how just curious

Or am i chumma generalising ?

Has anyone else noticed this, or has your experience been completely different?

Share ur stories pleasee

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how about we make a group for having study buddies

As we can help out each other and share resources

As u know how difficult it's with job and plan for a schedule as well

I've added the link to the group as well for joining if yes

Strictly cat related , prep and job only and profile buildinh as well

​

how about we make a group for having study buddies

As we can help out each other and share resources

As u know how difficult it's with job and plan for a schedule as well

I've added the link to the group as well for joining if yes

Strictly cat related , prep and job only and profile buildinh as well

how about we make a group for having study buddies

As we can help out each other and share resources

As u know how difficult it's with job and plan for a schedule as well

I've added the link to the group as well for joining if yes

Strictly cat related , prep and job only and profile buildinh as well

what do you miss from your childhood?

What's something that you used to see or do back in the days, that you don't come across nowadays?

I saw a meme last day about how we used to check the tv schedules on newspapers to see which movies were on air that day. I had totally forgotten this was a thing. Nostu nostu.

and what are a few simple things that remind you of those days ?

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tell me what's the habit that ruined your life for a while ?

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I work in a Big 4 and my work is mostly client dependent. So if I am in client place alone and want to take a break and if my work is mostly dependent on discussions with the client. Then I will reach out to the client in such a way that the discussions gets pushed to the next day and tell my manager that the client was held up and hence was busy and take indirect off for the day

P.S. works only if you tell your manager by the end of the day, otherwise they will give other work to focus on.

I work in a Big 4 and my work is mostly client dependent. So if I am in client place alone and want to take a break and if my work is mostly dependent on discussions with the client. Then I will reach out to the client in such a way that the discussions gets pushed to the next day and tell my manager that the client was held up and hence was busy and take indirect off for the day

P.S. works only if you tell your manager by the end of the day, otherwise they will give other work to focus on.