I Gave Everything I Had
This is the story of a guy for whom things used to work out at some point in life. But people say there comes a time when everything slowly starts moving away from you, and no matter how much you want to stop it, you just can’t. This is about that time.
Since childhood, I was good in studies. I made everyone happy, fulfilled expectations, and whenever I got the chance, I made my parents feel proud. But when the time finally came to do something on my own, something for myself, everything started changing.
After 12th, I asked my father for JEE coaching, but he said no. I understand that time — it was during COVID, and my family was struggling financially too. But I had to compromise with my own interests. For the dream of a government job, I got enrolled into a course I never even wanted. Still, I gave it my 1000% and ended up topping college. I did graduation as a non-college student just to get the degree.
By the time graduation ended, I had given government exams too, but even there, I missed selection by 1–2 marks.
In August 2024, I went against my family and started preparing for MBA exams. CAT 2024 was my first attempt — I got 82 percentile, above 92 in LRDI. SNAP was 88, XAT was 75+. I wasn't expecting something extraordinary, but I still expected better. When the results came, something inside me broke. I went into depression, lost hope, and almost gave up.
Still, somehow I came out of it and started preparing again for CAT 2025. This year my percentile actually improved, but normalization destroyed everything. From 93+ percentile, it directly dropped to 89. In SNAP, the score that would have given 99+ last year gave only around 90 this year. XAT also went badly.
Still, I got interview calls from decent colleges. I worked hard again to clear them while struggling with so many things. Around 3–4 interviews went perfectly — no fumbling, gap-year justification handled properly, grilling handled properly. Everything was finally looking okay.
But then came the phase that broke me so deeply that I honestly don't think I’ll ever fully recover from it.
Waitlisted everywhere. Not even normal waitlists — waitlists so high that they probably won’t convert even after years. IIT Jodhpur was my last hope, and today that also broke. Got waitlisted there too.
Two years of hard work were judged and ended in a few minutes.
I genuinely don't know what I’ll do next, or whether I’ll even be able to do something. And honestly, I don’t even want to know anymore.
Doing an MBA from a good college was my dream, but maybe destiny never wanted that for me. Maybe happiness was never written for me in the first place.
People don’t know how hard it feels when you open Reddit and every post is about someone converting their dream college while you’re sitting on waitlists everywhere.
I’m so jealous of you guys right now… but it’s okay. I never wanted bad things for anyone. I still want everyone to get into their dream colleges. I just wish I had gotten at least one decent college where I could’ve started a new journey.
But maybe I’ll never be able to.
Anyways, congratulations to everyone who converted a college, and good luck to those who didn’t.
For me, I think I’m done with this MBA journey and all of this. When I first started preparing, I used to think, “Who even goes to places like Sharda or Amity for an MBA?” Now I finally understand who does.
Thanks for reading all this mess.
If you want to abuse me, go ahead… I don’t think anything will hurt anymore.
Goodbye guys.
