r/IDontWorkHereLady

I used to work as a quick lube tech. Our uniform was all black. The shop I worked at was next to a grocery store. The uniforms there consisted mostly of an apron over appropriate casual wear.

I had an hour lunch and decided to grab something from the deli. Since they were a little backed up the guy said that i can come back for my sandwich. I figured I'd go grab some stufff i needed while i waited. I was walking through the chip aisle to get to a a different aisle and i had to pass by an old lady on the left and a set of boxes on the right with chips that hadn't been stocked yet.

The old lady sees me and politely says

"Excuse, do you know if those boxes are empty?" She said. I decided to look out of common courtesy and i confirmed they still had chips in them.

"Do you know when they will be stocked?" She said

"I don't know." I said

"Why can't you do it?" (She's still being polite for clarification)

"Oh, i don't work here mam."

She squints her eyes at me and noticed my uniform was different from the grocery store uniform and she began to laugh.

"Oh I'm sorry. I just a uniform and assumed you worked here, I didn't think to check if it was the right uniform." She said

I laughed too. "It's fine mam, i can get some one for you if you'd like."

"No that's okay. I'll do that. You have a nice day young man."

"You too."

I got the stuff i needed went back to the deli and got my sandwich. I told me colleagues about what happened and they got a kick out of it.

I had a day off from work, so I decided to go to Walmart to get a few things. I'm meandering in the pasta aisle for some lunches.

Here's the thing, though. I looked nothing like an employee. I was wearing blue shorts, a black shirt, and what my ex-friend called a "punk vest." The kind of vest with all the buttons and patches.

So, back to the point. This older lady(probably about 60 something) comes up to me and asks where something is. (It's been 8 years or so, so I don't remember what it was) I look down at my outfit, then look back at her. I told her, "Ma'am I don't work here and don't know aisles that well. She stared at me for a moment, then asked again. This time, with more attitude. Luckily, there was a worker not too far away. So I said. "Ma'am I still don't work here That nice lady over there could help you". She got in a huff and left.

It was weird. Tell me how I looked like an employee? Maybe she's visually impaired? It was funny to me so I had to tell my friend about it. He got a chuckle, too.

I was shopping at a clothing store after work, still wearing a black polo and khaki pants from my actual job. Apparently that was enough for one lady to assume I worked there.

She walked up to me holding a pile of clothes and immediately said, “Can you unlock a fitting room already? I’ve been waiting.”

I told her, “Sorry, I don’t work here.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “Then why are you dressed like that?”

I just awkwardly laughed and kept browsing. A minute later she came back and started complaining again, saying employees in this store are lazy and rude. I pointed at the giant logo on my shirt from a completely different company and said, “Ma’am… wrong store.”

An actual employee overheard us and started laughing. The lady looked embarrassed, muttered “whatever,” and walked away without another word.

Not the craziest story here, but definitely the first time I’ve been blamed for a fitting room line in a store I don’t even work at.

Just found this sub so I thought I'd contribute. Several years ago before it closed for lack of business, Neiman-Marcus had a store in Bellevue, WA. I stopped by on my way home from my law office to by a Christmas present for my wife and was wearing a suit and tie. As I browsed through the jewelry department, a young woman in her twenties came up to me and asked me to help her select some jewelry. I said I don't work here I am shopping. She immediately apologized and said she assumed I worked here because I was well dressed. I thanked her for the complement which improved my day considerably.

Since my 20s (am older now), I have been often mistaken for staff in many places, including cafes, restaurants, grocery stores, gyms, and was even 'assumed' to be a warehouse assistant as I was walking by a Trader Joe's food stocking garage area with my groceries. I was always in normal clothes.

Another example could be in a cafe where I'm sitting outside waiting for my drink, and a lady asks me if she places her order with me, when the cashier and ordering areas are clearly marked.

This does bother me because it has been happening even more lately, despite being older now. I don't like my personal space being invaded when I'm in public, and yet it is invaded frequently. And yes, sometimes they don't accept the 'no' answer and I have to keep explaining myself.

I have been given MANY reasons for why such as, you 'look confident' or you 'are approachable' or you are a female minority or you are short. I understand all that, but why would any of those be reasons for it happening so frequently when staff in these places have uniforms or stand in the designated service areas, like by a cash register or behind the counter? Why they do assume it's me dressed in everyday clothes. I'm not unkempt or anything either.

I was a teacher for several years and many people didn't believe I was an actual teacher or said I didn't 'look like a teacher,' whatever that means. But I look like a barista, waitress, store associate, or whatever else people think I am. And yes, I live in a diverse area.

Does anyone else experience this? I know I'm insecure...but how do I not let it bother me or how people perceive me to the point where I get anxious about going out in public?

Look, I'd seen the posts. I'd laughed at the posts. "Never wear a black apron into Whole Foods," they said. I filed it under "cute internet exaggeration" and moved on with my life.

I was a fool.

It was a Sunday morning. I'd come straight from a pottery class still had clay under my fingernails and needed to grab a few things. Kombucha, some overpriced crackers, you know the drill. I happened to be wearing a black canvas apron over my shirt because I'd forgotten to take it off in the car. No logo. No name tag. Just vibes and dried clay.

I made it approximately four minutes into the store.

First it was a guy in his 30s asking me where the oat milk was. I pointed vaguely toward the dairy aisle and said "I think over there?" He nodded like I'd given him sacred wisdom and walked away satisfied.

Then an older woman asked if we carried a specific brand of bone broth. We. WE.

By the time I reached the cracker aisle, a small queue had formed. I had somehow become the unofficial ambassador of artisanal groceries. A child pointed at me and said "that man works here." His mother did not correct him.

I bought my crackers and left without making eye contact with anyone.

The apron is now in the trunk. It stays there.

Not asked me to watch it. Handed it to me. Placed the handle directly into my hand and walked away. I was wearing jeans and a grey hoodie. Home Depot employees wear orange aprons. I was not wearing an orange apron. I was not wearing anything orange. I was on the floor looking at caulk options because I needed caulk and I don't know enough about caulk to just grab one without reading the labels first.

A woman came up, stood next to me for a moment, and when I looked up she extended her cart handle toward me with the confidence of someone who has never once been wrong about anything. I took it, I think out of pure reflex, the way you catch something someone throws at you before your brain has processed what's happening. She was gone before I fully understood what had occurred.

I stood up holding a stranger's cart containing what appeared to be two bags of mulch, a bird feeder, and some kind of outdoor lighting situation. I looked around. She was not visible. I waited maybe ninety seconds trying to figure out what the correct move was here.

She came back about four minutes later with more stuff, looked at me still holding her cart, said "oh good, you're still here" and started loading her new items in. I said "I don't work here." She said "I know, I just needed someone to hold this." Said it like that was a completely normal thing she had asked a stranger on the floor to do.

I handed the cart back. She seemed mildly inconvenienced. I went back to reading caulk labels.

I know, I know. I've heard the joke a thousand times, everyone warns you, "never wear red to Target." I genuinely thought it was one of those exaggerated internet things that doesn't actually happen in real life. I was wrong. I was so wrong.

It was a saturday afternoon, I'd just come from a friend's place and needed to grab a few things - dish soap, some snacks, a phone charger because mine had finally given up. I was wearing a red zip-up hoodie and dark jeans. That's it. No logo, no name tag, nothing. I'm walking through the home goods section kind of zoning out, comparing two different dish soaps like that's a decision that requires serious thought, when a woman probably in her 50s walks up to me with this very purposeful energy and goes "excuse me, where are your Keurig pods?"

I look up, look down at myself, look back at her and say "oh sorry, I don't work here." She does this thing where she kind of tilts her head and smiles like I've said something silly and goes "I just need to know if you have the dark roast in stock." I said again, slowly, I don't work here, I'm a customer. She looked at my hoodie. Looked a t my face. Looked at my hoodie again. "Can you just check in the back?"

At this point I genuinely didn't know what to do. I said ma'am I really am just shopping, I don't have access to the back, I don't know where anything is, I'm looking for dish soap. She made this little huffy noise and said "well you could have just said so" and walked away to find an actual employee. I stood there for a second just holding my dish soap.

Found my charger, got my snacks, checked out. The actual Target employees at the register were wearing bright red polos with the logo on them. I was in a plain zip hoodie. I still think about what she thought was going to happen if I had actually gone to check in the back.

Home Depot employees wear orange aprons over whatever they're wearing. An apron. A specific garment that goes on top of clothes. I was wearing an orange zip-up hoodie, jeans, and headphones around my neck. No apron. No badge. No lanyard. Just an orange hoodie because it's my orange hoodie and I own it and I was cold.

A man, probably late 60s, walked up to me while I was crouched down reading the back of a box of wood filler, tapped me on the shoulder, and handed me an actual written list. Not asked me a question, not said "excuse me do you work here" - handed me a physical piece of paper with four items on it and said "I need these, can you start with the lumber." I looked at the list. I looked at him. I looked at my hoodie. I said "sir I don't work here." He looked at my hoodie and then back at me and said "well you're wearing orange." I said "a lot of people wear orange." He seemed genuinely unconvinced and asked if I could at least point him toward the lumber section because he was in a hurry. I pointed. He walked away without saying thank you or acknowledging that any of this was unusual in any way.

The list had four items on it written in very neat handwriting. Lumber, caulk, two types of screws specified by exact size, and something called "the grey brackets like last time." I still think about that last one. Some Home Depot employee somewhere has context for the grey brackets. I did not. I was just a guy in an orange hoodie trying to fix a hole in my wall on a saturday afternoon.

This happened last weekend and I'm still a little bewildered by it. I was at TJ Maxx looking for a bathmat, which sounds like a simple task but you know how it is in there, you go in for one thing and somehow end up in the candle aisle holding a decorative tray you don't need. I had been wandering around for maybe 20 minutes and had made my way over to the home goods section near the back when a woman with a very full cart sort of sidled up next to me.

She was maybe late 50s, had one of those reusable bags from Whole Foods hanging off the cart handle, and the cart itself was genuinely impressive - piled with throw pillows, a lamp, what looked like several picture frames wrapped in that thin tissue paper they use. She smiled at me and said "would you mind watching this for just a second, I need to run grab something real quick." I said sure, because what are you going to say, no? I figured she was grabbing something from the next aisle over. I went back to looking at bathmats. A minute passed. Then another. I started actually paying attention and realized I had been standing next to this strangers cart for probably five minutes. I wasn't even shopping anymore, I was just. standing there. next to a lamp and some throw pillows like I was a display.

At the ten minute mark I genuinely started wondering what my options were. I couldn't just leave the cart, it felt wrong somehow even though I had zero obligation to this woman. I also couldn't push it around the store because then I'd really look like I worked there. I stood there for a few more minutes feeling increasingly like an idiot and then I just kind of slowly edged away from it and went back to looking at rugs. I told myself if anyone asked I'd say I didn't know whose cart it was, which was technically true at that point.

She came back at what my phone tells me was 24 minutes later, arms full, completely unbothered, and said "thank you so much you're a lifesaver!" I said "no problem" like a person with no spine whatsoever and went and bought my bathmat. It's beige. It's fine. I think about that cart sometimes.

A local low-budget supermarket recently got their own self-check out stations, which I think is great; I like to use the self-checkout so I don't have to remove my headphones and talk to people. The down side is that many people in my area seem unaware of how to use one, causing massive delays, and to make matters worse, the supermarket manager thinks it's fine and dandy to not keep even 1 normal register open.

So while I understand some degree of confusion and annoyance, it still doesn't explain last night. It's close to closing so to cut the employees some slack, they were mostly busy with closing while one employee lingered near the registers, sweeping. I came in to quickly grab a pack of sugar and took the first available check-out counter.

One by one, several middle-aged (at least) men formed a line beside me. I look up and see that all 5 other self-checkout counters are completely free. I shrug and go back to scanning, ask the supermarket employee a question, then pay, grab my items and head out. Looking back as I scan my receipt to open the gate, the line of men were staring at me, without exaggeration, open-mouthed and aghast.

They appeared horrified and indignant that I had abandoned them, lingering in their self-inflicted queue, and I belatedly realized they were expecting me to check them out at the self-checkout register while the actual employee in the branded shirt hadn't been given so much as a second glance. Because the woman with the giant over-ear headphones and the Dark Brotherhood jacket is definitely here to help you pay for your pistachios, right?!

So I'm standing at the customer service desk waiting to return a router that stopped working after three weeks. I have the box in my hands, the receipt folded on top of the box, and I'm wearing a dark red hoodie and jeans. The employee who's helping me steps away for maybe 45 seconds to grab a form from the back.

In that window a woman comes up, stands next to me, and goes "excuse me do you know where the portable chargers are." I looked at her, looked at the customer service counter I was literally standing at, looked at the return box in my hands, and said "I actually don't work here, I'm just returning this." She goes "oh you just look like you know where things are." I don't know what to do with that information so I just nodded.

The employee came back, saw the whole thing, and to her credit did not laugh. She processed my return very professionally. The router got returned, I got my refund, the woman presumably found the portable chargers eventually.

The part that got me is the "you look like you know where things are." I've been thinking about it for two days. I was holding a broken router in a return box. That's the opposite of knowing where things are, that's the physical manifestation of things not working out. And yet. Apparently I have an energy that reads as competent retail employee and I genuinely don't know if that's a compliment or not.

I want to preface this by saying I know. I KNOW. I own exactly one blue polo shirt and I wore it that Saturday because it was clean and I was just running in to grab some wood screws and maybe a new drill bit. I was in and out in 15 minutes, that was the plan.

I'm standing in the fasteners aisle comparing two nearly identical packs of screws like I know what I'm doing, when a guy, maybe 55, cargo shorts, the whole thing, walks up and goes "hey can you tell me where the outdoor faucet valves are." Not a question really, just said it flat like I was a kiosk. I looked up, looked down at my completely unbranded blue polo with a small coffee stain near the second button, and said "sorry I don't work here." He kind of squinted at me and walked away.

I thought that was the end of it. I found my screws, started heading toward checkout, and the same guy appears at the end of the aisle with a woman who I assume was his wife and goes "that's him, he said he didn't know." She looks at me and goes "do you know where the outdoor faucet valves are." I said again, politely, that I don't work here and I'm not sure where they'd be. She goes "well you're wearing the uniform."

I looked down at myself. Coffee stain. No logo. No name tag. Just a blue shirt that I woul d like to formally retire from rotation.

I did not find the faucet valves for them. I went home.

I was at a big retail store after work wearing black pants and a plain polo. I guess that was enough for one lady to decide I was an employee.

She came up to me and asked where some item was. I said "Sorry, I don’t work here."

She stared at me like I had just personally ruined her day and said "Well you are standing here aren't you?"

I laughed a little because I thought she was joking. She was not.

She then started complaining that "people don’t want to work anymore" and that I was being rude. I told her again, "Mam I literally dont work here. I'm shopping."

Then she said, "Then why are you dressed like that?"

At that point I just said, "Because my job also requires clothes."

She stormed off saying she was going to find my manager. I kept shopping.

Five minutes later, I saw her arguing with an actual employee and pointing at me from across the aisle. The employee looked at me, looked back at her, and said, "Yeah he really doesn't work here."

She didnt apologize. She just walked away like I had somehow tricked her by existing in a polo shirt.

After working a stressful day at my own retail job I stopped into a small store I’ve never worked at but have shopped before and started shopping.

Went in there, was loudly (politely) greeted by a worker (it was super quiet in there, I was very much greeted as a customer and the music was off) and was one of maybe three customers in there at the time. I had gone in there for a keychain so I immediately walked over to the display and squatted down to shop the lower part of the display.

A woman in my age range who looked between late 20’s-early 30’s walks up to me while on the phone talking VERY loudly about nothing and confidently stomps over and, in the most hey-girlie-valley girl accent loudly asks “oh my gosh! Um, exxxx-cuuussseeee meeee!!!?? DO YOU WORK HEREEEE?” And I, wearing a sweater from an old-old job with the logo of a totally unrelated company and also not in the color or style of the employees uniforms of this store loudly exclaimed “Nope!”

I wasn’t trying to sound rude (I’m not sure if my tone came off as too direct so maybe i did) but internally I was mildly annoyed at how OBVIOUSLY I wasn’t an employee and i was in a but if a rush and fresh off my own busy day.

She goes “OH.” and turns away a bit flabbergasted and annoyed I wouldn’t help her anyway. On the phone (which was on speaker this whole time) a man on the other end full-on belly laughs and lets her know what a fool she made of herself (I’m thinking perhaps they were on a FaceTime?) and I’ve never felt so validated, like instant karma.

No offense to this lady, she was nice enough just annoying in tone and oblivious to her surroundings, but man I’m glad the guy pointed out the exact reasons I’ve listed here as to why she came off so oblivious and entitled.

I house manage a theatre that happens to be located on the campus of an affluent school. The school owns the theatre, but the staff of the theatre are not employees of the school. A separate company manages the theatre and its workers. This is understandably confusing for some, but for most people it’s obvious we are not teachers, not admin, and very clearly the theatre is not a classroom.

I had just arrived at the theatre one Friday afternoon to get it set up for a private event happening that evening. I was unlocking the doors when a woman approached me. Let’s call her Cheryl.

CHERYL: Hi, I’m here to pick up my child Jason Lastname.

ME: Oh, sorry, I don’t work for the school. You’ll have to go -

CHERYL: Of course you work for the school. You’ve got keys. I already called ahead. Can you go get Jason Lastname?

ME: I understand the confusion. I work for the theatre. Not the school. I can’t get your child. The admin building is about 200 feet that way. They can help you.

CHERYL: I don’t understand why you just won’t help me. It’s not that hard. Just go to his classroom and get him.

ME: Miss, if I was to remove a student from his classroom, I think the police would probably get involved at that point.

She paused at hearing that, now somehow alarmed.

CHERYL: Who are you? Why would the police get involved?!

ME: Because I don’t work for the school.

CHERYL: Then what are you doing here?!

ME: I work for the theatre.

CHERYL: How did you get keys?

I was done with this conversation. She was really worked up. I didn’t want this to become a thing, so I very calmly pointed to the admin building.

ME: The admin building handles all student pick ups. They’re probably the people you talked to. They can help you. After you pick up your child, there’s a lovely performance happening tonight at 8pm in the theatre. It’s discounted for faculty and families of students. I can get you a flyer if you want.

She stared at me for a long moment then walked off. I went inside and wrote an incident report just in case she complained or something. She didn’t end up coming to the show.

For my birthday this year I decided I wanted to do a little shopping day out of town to get some stupid stuff (like special flavored oils or nice hand soap) just dumb stuff that brings joy I don’t normally splurge on. After shopping around all morning we decided to swing over to ikea to round off the day.

For context I am 24F wearing a multicolored tie dye patchwork overalls with a bright red sweater that says “I believe in Santa”. My partner is wearing jeans and a Hawaiian dadesq style shirt and a bucket hat.

Further context we have a shopping cart full of stuff and I am in the process of flipping through duvet covers.

This is when I hear a woman screaming “MISS!” repeatedly from a distance , becoming more agitated each time. Now try as I do to mind my own business, I was too tempted and looked up to see what all the hollering was for. I look up to find a woman across the main aisle leading through the store on the other side of the showroom beaming me down. She literally huffs at me before yelling from across the room (also FILLED with other people *including actual employees*) “HOW DO I GET TO MY CAR?!”

I have worked in customer service since the day I could legally get a job, I understand the public. I was feeling birthday kindness in my heart i chose peace, so I walked 2-3 feet closer so I was in the main aisle and said very kindly “There are actually arrows projected onto the ground on this path showing you the way through the showroom” I smile and pointed to the projection and the path they were on. I paused a second afterwards to make sure she understood, I then nodded, thumbs up and turned back to what I was doing. My partner and I to giggle about the transaction that should have ended there but I get interrupted again. “WELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING ANYWAYS. WHY CANT YOU JUST SHOW ME THE WAY?!”

That evil little chill hit me when you know there’s a problem customer you must deal with, my nervous system started going off and then a blissful calm swept over me. I was not an employee and I have free will. I now much more loudly and assertively say “I am NOT an employee here but I’m sure if you CAN ask kindly they would be happy to help you” and really thought this would be the end. Nope. She yells at me again to show her the way out and asks what I’m doing that’s so important completely disregarding what I just said.

My feathers are ruffled at this point, not just the banshee but the employees not coming in for an assist. I’m being squawked at over here no defense. I choose not to respond and just let her figure this one out, I was trying to savor my good vibes. She then begins her approach. Out of the corner of my eye I see her start jaunting over to us huffing with each hip sway, as she reached the main aisle dividing the room my partner unlike me, was ready to match her vibe. He shrieks at her “SHE…. DOES…. NOT….. WORK… HEREEE” I think well that’s uncomfortable but this definitely ends it she’ll be embarrassed, I’m embarrassed but nah “I just need to know how to get out of here and YOU won’t tell me”.

FINALLY I lock eyes with an employee I raise my arm in the air and point at Miss Thang infront of me and tell them she’ll be needing some help. THE LOOK this Gargamel woman gave me was almost worth the hollering. To make it better the employee said almost verbatim what I said to begin with.

If you have an Aldi, you probably are aware that two of their cost saving measures are making you return your own cart (Aldi quarter!) and making you bag your own groceries. The cashiers sit down and fling your items rapid fire into your cart, then you are on your own.

My Aldi also has a self check out. Recently, I was at the self check out with my wife and kids. She was scanning and I was bagging. To be clear, we were in the self check out and I was bagging. The thing employees do not do.

I was also dressed fairly artsy that day. I had on loose, hand dyed pants, a black tank top, and big art deco earrings. I don't remember exactly what Aldi employees wear, but I'm pretty sure it is a generic dark polo and slacks.

A man in about his 50s came up to me and asked, "Is anyone in the office?" I was so caught off guard I just stared at him for a full 15 seconds because I wasn't sure why he was asking me. I didn't even mean to make it awkward for him. I finally managed to say, "I don't work here." He immediately looks embarrassed and says, "Oh, I thought you were helping bag." Then takes off in the direction of the office. At least he wasn't rude, but it was a weird assumption.

Yes, I am helping someone in self check out bag at the store that doesn't bag for you. That makes perfect sense, random man. It definitely couldn't be a normal shopper bagging for her family. That'd be strange. ​

I don’t know if this counts here so feel free to delete, but I just spent 3 hours reading through these and I’ve had so many interactions with the same energy I thought I’d share

I work in data at a community college (Institutional Research, if people know what that is). It’s back office work, I don’t think I’ve ever had a reason to directly talk to a student.

My phone number is not on the website or anything. Again, there’s no reason a student would ever talk to me. But it must be posted somewhere because about once a month I get a call from a student or parent. Almost always, they ask for registration, I laugh and say I’m not registration but here’s their number, and they laugh and hang up

But a couple of months ago I had the weirdest interaction that these posts reminder me of so much. This lady called and asked about registering her son. I responded something like “oh sorry, this is institutional research, I can’t help with registration, but here’s their number.”

Instead of hanging up, she instead said “well why am I talking to you then?”

I laughed and said she must have gotten the wrong number. She responded “is this not [my college].”

“Oh yes, it is, but I don’t work in registration.”

“Well can you just help me?”

I explained again how I don’t work in registration but here’s their number.

“I just don’t understand why I keep calling people and no one can help me.”

I apologized and reiterated this wasnt something I could help with but registration would be happy to help I was sure.

She just angrily said “some people!” And hung up. Felt really bizarre. I’m realizing now I should have asked where she got my number because again, it’s not on the website I don’t think

I don't know how I never thought to share this one here before, but here goes:

Last year I took a trip to New York City in late January, and had a very early flight back home to California. So even though I ate on the plane and all, due to the time zone shifts, by the time I got home I was still pretty hungry, and having been awake since 2 AM local time was too tired to put anything together. So I ordered from my favorite pizza place and got in the car to go pick up my order, which is usually only about a 10-minute drive each way. A couple blocks from the pizza place there was some kind of weird obstruction in traffic. I tried to get a look at it but genuinely couldn't tell what was going on. It seemed like either someone was pulled over or kinda beefing it by having their car halfway out in the street while parked by the curb. It seemed like it could've started moving again or not, I genuinely had no idea, all I knew was my lane wasn't moving at all at the moment, and I was hungry and tired, so I had to do something.

Traffic in the next lane is moving pretty slowly, due to people shifting from my blocked-up lane, so I figure I have an opportunity. I look in my driver's side mirror, see a pick-up that's kinda close but moving very slowly, so I flip my signal and turn in. I thought I had the room to move in smoothly without problems, but the guy still had to brake fast and honked at me. And you know what, fair. My bad, misjudged it. But nobody was hurt, no accidents occurred, and within seconds we were both moving along, and I thought that was that.

I get to the pizza place two minutes later and park, and stop to check a message on my phone before getting out of the car. When I do, there's this very angry man outside the front door of the shop who begins yelling at me. I see his truck parked in the same lot now, and I gotta say, I did not know they made pick-up trucks that big. Just the most massive vehicle I've ever seen that still somehow fit in a regular spot in a parking lot. In my travel-addled mind it must've been as big as an actual truck that drags along a trailer. But this dude is going off, screaming his fucking head off about how I cut him off in traffic, and making violent threats. And I'm tired, and I don't know how to react to this, because I'm not scared of him in the moment. I'm 6'5" and this dude is like 5'6" tops, but my brain doesn't really know how to process him being all hyper and going "I'm out here killing motherfuckers left and right, you don't even know!" And again, I DID cut him off, it was my bad. So I try to apologize and then he's heading inside the pizza place and internally I'm like "What are the odds we were going to the same spot? Even with the way he's acting I guess it's only fair I let him get his pizza first, maybe that'll calm him down."

But then when I step inside after him he's yelling at the whole staff. And it takes me a moment to process it all, but he's screaming at them about me, and saying their "delivery boy" cut him off in traffic and blah blah blah. And y'all, the staff all wear normal restaurant clothes with a restaurant-branded shirt, and I'm a man in his 30's wearing a graphic tee, fire engine red suspenders, and a red newsboy hat people constantly say makes me look like Mario with my mustache. And when I finally do process it, my mood changes a bit. 'Cuz it's one thing to yell at me for a fuck-up I made, even if the reaction is insanely disproportionate. But now that I realized he is not an actual customer but FOLLOWED me here, and he's making all these other folks uncomfortable, so now I get mad. And I don't scream or anything, but I raise my voice and tell him very firmly "I don't work here". And the guy turns to me for a second and is stunned by this new information, but then he manages to recover by stammering "W-well you LOOK like the kinda clown who would work here" and starts to raise his voice and is raving again, at this point I couldn't even tell you what about.

I have no clue how this is going to go. I've dealt with aggressive people before but never on this level. This dude is fucking unhinged and part of me is beginning to worry that this is the kind of guy who might have a weapon on him. Luckily, two cops happened to be having lunch in the dining room and came to the front to see what all the commotion was. They asked the staff if they wanted the guy to be there, they said no, they forced him to leave. There was no arrest, I didn't have to give a statement or anything, but once the situation had calmed down I started to get worried in the aftermath. I felt like there was a very good chance that once I had my pizza and stepped outside that guy would be waiting for me again. Thankfully, he was gone, which I could tell from the absence of his insanely large overcompensation-mobile. As I got in my car and started for home, I found myself hoping that nutjob did not have a family to bring all that anger home to.

I got home and enjoyed my pizza, but felt nervous for a few days after, worried about what if I ever came across that guy again. I haven't seen him or his oversized truck since, so I can only hope he was passing through town and doesn't really live here. Whatever the case, that was not the homecoming I was expecting after a vacation.