r/WitchcraftCircleJerk

At work, I just bit into a boston cream donut, and the cream was R A N C I D. Certainly I have been a bad, bad girl, but how could I have deserved this!?

This *could* also just mean one of the people in the bakery just didn't do a good job of checking or they were stored incorrectly, but then why did it happen to me!?!

Certainly this can be nothing but a portent of horrors, so what should I do?!?

I have already done 6 different cleansing spells, burned all my belongings, changed my name, and started my path towards a new life, so hopefully no bad spirits will follow me.

PLEASE IF YOU SEE THIS GIVE ME YOUR AVICE!!!!

Hello. My parents are very strict, narcissistic, annoying,provoking, verbally and physically abusive. I want them to stop this behavior. I am a new witch and I have made a few spells before like glamour spell, money spell, protection spell, productivity spell and they have worked but I have never made a spell on someone I have only done spells on myself. I don't care if they are rude to me or annoying I am used to it and I hate them so I don't care about what they say, but the problem right now is that they don't let me go out I can't even go out for a walk or take a trash out I only go to school and come home. They give me long lectures whenever I tell them I made a new friend or say anything about my friends. They don't think I should have a friend cause it isn't important for them. To have a friend in high school. So I am talking to this girl and I am 100% sure that me and her are gonna start dating so I wanna go out on a date with her and be able to see her. I am not asking for much I don't like going out or staying outside but for her I want too. So my parents are homophobic and I am not planning on telling them about me liking girls. So all I want them to do is say yes when I ask to go get food or go to the movies. I wanted to know if anyone knows a good spell for my situation and how to do it?

hey guys

so I've been really feeling myself lately. and I mean REALLY. feeling.

like on the insides and the dark mucky black hole kinda stuff like beep boop pull some wires, what's all this then? oh god it's leaking, ugh gross. pad with tissues. kinda stuff.

I was meditating on the ethereal plane 🛫 and I tuned my frequency to the one that goes rumpumpumpumpOW rumpumpumpumPOwW, and then I could like see this tortoise shell deity and he was journaling.

and he turned to me and was like:

"yo axis you sure do spend a lot of time on that little computery thingy device, do you even know the people you are talking to? what are you guys talking about? it looks like nonsense?"

and I was pretty taken aback by the question because I was like UM EXCUSE ME YES I HAVE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. Its just very hard to see them because we are all embedded into the literal fringes of society being squashed between two pvc sheets, almost like preserved for a special purpose or prized possession or smt but not appropriate for show and tell.

you know what I mean?

any way. turtle man left and it got me thinking. am I even real?

is the internet dead?

are we all just echoes of something that was and never really will be again?

or are we building something that can leap frog a dead internet theory and star seed actual joy and creative internet theory?

if that makes sense?

​

Hi everyone.

I'm a college student in India, and I'm in a very stressful situation. A girl has filed a formal complaint against me with my college's anti-ragging committee and the principal, accusing me of ragging her.

The problem is that I never ragged her. I barely even speak to her. She is actually attracted me romantically but I have rejected all of her advances because I am not interested in her . I am not homophobic but I am heterosexual. And I swear to God , I have never harmed any living being my whole life let alone ragging a girl . Despite that, she has made this complaint, and I'm terrified because anti-ragging allegations are taken very seriously.

I'm worried this could affect my reputation and even my future plans, including applying for GRE and CUET-related opportunities. I don't want a false accusation to destroy years of hard work. I am afraid I might loose my friends because people mostly does not wants to associated with someone with this kind of record even though they knows I am innocent.

Any spell or ritual would mean a lot. I'm feeling overwhelmed and don't know what my next step should be. I am losing my will to live . I am the only child of my parents. I have dreams as well . Please think of me as your sister and help me . Please help me .

Thank you for reading.

Hey, how come all of us be making money jars and bowls and not a single one of us is rich?

Which stocks are the most money bowl compatible? 🤔

Scrooge McDuck's safe is the largest money bowl known to man, and you know damn well that fowl be using magic most foul

I have a friend who I would like to have sex with and I feel like he has given me some signs. We have jerked off together several times and today he was at my place and we jerked off together and I have a tissue with his semen on it. It’s dried up and I wanted to ask if someone knows a spell where i can use the tissue for him to want to have sex with me.

PS: Please don’t come at me and I don’t really care about any consequences.

I really really *REALLY* want this spell to work. No I'm not giving you ANY details except that it was a candle spell and it won't stay lit???!? Is it going to backfir!?!? Tiktok witches said this was all I needed and intention! I didn't think jt was enough. So I dumped a bunch of dried herbs and spices [[totally in sync with what I'm casting, I checked with ChatGPT]] and now my candle WONT LIT AT ALLLLLLL1!!1!1!!

What am I doing wrong!? Am I going to be curse!

I think I asked too much of the candle but I don't know! Is it pverloaded???.

I am so sick of all of you. As a demon-in-training, I just can't take it anymore. Literally my favorite coworker quit over this! You guys don't even put in an ounce of effort anymore. What kind of exchange is the soul of your great-great-grandmother you never met, or a rat you found in an alley, just to get your crush to love you? That guy isn't even worth it—he gets turned on by his own farts—but at least put some effort into it and offer your own soul!

And don't even get me started on the incubi and succubi. Now I have to sit through TED Talks about why feminism is taking away incubi's jobs, and complaints about "no means no." The office is absolute HELL, and I literally live here!

And now the succubi have unionized. They say men can't last at all these days. Like, they blow their load on the first touch and there’s barely any reasonable amount of life force left to absorb, something about global warming or porn, I'm not sure. I try not to pay too much attention to them.

I'm done. I swear by the one I cannot name that if someone offers me a blow-up doll in exchange for reviving a poodle one more time, I'm quitting. It's just not worth it.

i’ve been feeling very weird lately, i’m getting random stomach aches but like weird ones and i’ve been feeling really tired… also every time i try to manifest i can’t get my mind to stop thinking about the most random things. i’ve got this ex who’s in a third party right now but i keep seeing , hearing his name EVERYWHERE all the time, the new guy at my job has the same name as him, today one of my friend was telling me a story about a guy that i had no idea about who he is and he had the same name as my ex, i asked this one guy for his snap (never saw him before) and when i looked at my phone i saw that AGAIN he had the same name as my ex, without mentioning all the time i see it on social media’s at the most random places or on tv because it’s an ad and it’s wtv company or guys name like it’s ALL THE TIME, EVERYWHERE but i don’t feel like he’s into witchcraft at all???…. i need y’all help please

I am so sick of people constantly posting online begging for help with magick or spells. I realize that most witches are isolated, alone, lonely, have no teachers or covens, that many books are confusing/wrong/poorly written/racist/sexist/fascist/stolen/written by Ai/cursed, etc. but thats NO REASON to not do the work yourself. And why rely on magick for everything? People are just lazy, wanting quick fixes. MUNDANE BEFORE MAGICK! Yes, you wont learn magick if you don't find ways to practice, but also, you shouldnt be doing magick, thinking about magick, posting about magick, or talking about magick. Maybe don't even talk about your problems. Or don't have problems to begin with. C'mon people, use your common sense. 🙏

Hope this helps 🔮✨️💜

- High Priestess Crystal Moonshadow

😅😅😅