AITAH for telling my husband that he knew what he was getting into?
I (32F) have been married to my husband (35M) for almost six years. We've been together for eight years.
There's something about my past that I told my husband about very early in our relationship. It wasn't something I was proud of, but I believed he deserved to know before we got serious. I told him within the first few months of dating, before we moved in together, before we got engaged, and long before marriage. I was completely honest about what happened. I answered every question he had and never tried to minimize it or pretend.
He told me at the time that he appreciated my honesty and that my past didn't define the person I was now.
We continued dating.
Eventually, we moved in together, got engaged, and married. For years, it genuinely wasn't an issue.
Until recently. My husband and I got into an argument over something completely unrelated, and suddenly he brought up the thing from my past. He said that knowing what I'd done made him question whether he should have married me.
I reminded him that he did know. He said that knowing something when you're dating is different from actually living with someone and realizing what it means.
I told him I understood that people can change their minds, but he doesn't get to act like I deceived him. He said I was being defensive. I told him I'm not defending what happened in my past. I'm defending the fact that I was honest with him about it.
I didn't hide it, I didn't wait until after we were married to tell him. I gave him the information and let him make his own decision. And he chose me.
He keeps saying, "I didn't understand what I was getting into."
But I don't know what else I could have done. I told him the truth before he made any serious commitment to me. He now wants me to apologize for "putting him in this position."
I told him I would apologize for any hurt caused by the current argument, but I won't apologize for being honest about something he knowingly accepted years ago. That made him extremely angry.
He told me I was acting like he had no right to change his mind.
What he doesn't have the right to do is punish me for information I gave him honestly before he made the decision to marry me.
Now he's sleeping in the guest room and telling people that he feels like our marriage was built on something he wasn't prepared for.
I'm honestly devastated because I love this man and I don't want our marriage to end.
At the same time, I don't think it's fair for me to spend the rest of my life apologizing for something I disclosed honestly eight years ago.
I keep wondering if I'm being too rigid about this.
AITA for telling my husband that he knew about my past from the beginning and that I don't think it's fair for him to blame me now?