u/hotpotato128

I think of my aunt and uncle in-law as asexuals. I haven't asked them about it. That's what it seems like to me. They might also be celibate for religious reasons. I project my asexuality onto others sometimes.

I read a post in one of the Desi subs. One man was expecting sexual intimacy from his wife. She didn't wanna do it. I thought she might have been an asexual. Maybe she wasn't aware of it. She might've also been sex-averse.

Have you met some Desis who might be asexual, but not aware of it?

I am an Indian American, asexual man. My relatives told me I should marry an Indian woman who is similar to me. They don't know I'm an asexual yet. I don't have any racial preferences. I prefer to marry an ace. I don't know if a heterosexual woman would feel compatible with me.

After the discussion yesterday, I am sex positive now.

Some of my actions made me think I felt sexual attraction.

Here are two things I did:

Watch porn- Many people watch porn because they feel sexual attraction to the actors. I thought I also felt sexual attraction to some of them. Then I realized it wasn't sexual attraction. I'm not a fan of the porn industry now.

Went to a strip club- This also made me think I felt sexual attraction. It was only aesthetic attraction to some of the dancers.

After I learned about asexuality, I realized those don't indicate sexual attraction. I wasn't feeling sexual tension when I was near conventionally attractive people.

Some boys in my school gave me the message that I was supposed to want sex with attractive girls.

I got the same message from grown men as well.

I rarely desire sex, but it's not with a specific person. I have a low libido.

One time, my uncle assumed I felt sexual attraction. I thought that was funny. I didn't feel like correcting him. I was also not aware I was asexual back then. I also thought it was funny when friends assumed I felt sexual attraction. One guy asked me if I could hookup with an attractive woman at a bar.

If I'm dating someone, I want them to believe me. Then they won't feel rejected if I say no to sex and don't sexually desire them. If they're an asexual that won't be an issue.

One time, my uncle assumed I felt sexual attraction. I thought that was funny. I didn't feel like correcting him. I was also not aware I was asexual back then. I also thought it was funny when friends assumed I felt sexual attraction. One guy asked me if I could hookup with an attractive woman at a bar.

If I'm dating someone, I want them to believe me. Then they won't feel rejected if I say no to sex and don't sexually desire them. If they're an asexual that won't be an issue.

I live in the United States. I joined a MLM company last year. This year I quit.

This is why I quit:

Recruiting- We had to recruit to get promoted to a higher commission contract. Promotions should be based on sales. The entry level contract was very low.

Selling unsuitable policies- I only had experience with my upline agent. They sold me a bad IUL policy. It wasn't suitable for me. I was single, no children, and I was only earning $43K/year at my job. It shouldn't have been recommended to me in the first place. I stopped paying the premiums when I realized that.

I am glad no one bought any policies from me. It would have been a disaster for them. I learned how an IUL can be properly structured from other sources. I still have more to learn. I'm researching other brokerages before I join.

I live in the United States. I joined World Financial Group last year. This is year I quit.

I met my upline in 2024. I attended some workshops about finance. They advertised a business opportunity. I wanted to start my own business, so I asked about the business opportunity. I was sold an Indexed Universal Life insurance (IUL) policy and joined the business. Then I started studying for my life and health license for my resident state.

I terminated my contract with WFG/TFA recently.

This is why I quit:

Recruiting- You have to recruit to get promoted to a higher commission contract. Promotions should be based on sales. The entry level contract is very low. You can only recruit people if you get lucky.

Some agents lack knowledge about how to design policies- I only have experience with my upline agent. They didn't design my IUL policy correctly. It wasn't suitable for me anyway. I am single, no children, and I was only earning $43K/year at my job. It shouldn't have been recommended to me in the first place. I stopped paying the premiums when I realized that.

I think every agent should know how to design IUL policies. I learned how to properly design them recently. It wasn't from my trainer.

I'm glad no one bought any life insurance from me. I'm also glad I didn't recruit anyone. I'm taking my licenses elsewhere.

What was your experience like?

I don't get aroused in my everyday life. It definitely doesn't happen by looking at anyone. I went on vacation last month. I saw some attractive women at the beaches and other places. I didn't feel aroused by them. They didn't trigger any desire to have sex either.

I have an Indian female friend who is heterosexual. I don't hangout with her in person much. We text sometimes. Should I tell her I'm an asexual?

I told one of my Indian-American male friends a few months ago. He didn't know what it was. I had to explain it to him. It was because he asked me if I wanted to get married.

Do you think Gods have any emotions? I think Kṛṣṇa is always portrayed without His emotions fluctuating.

I think some spiritual masters also don't have fluctuating emotions. I've never met one in person. That seems to be the case.

When do my spiritual practice, my emotions don't fluctuate much either. How are your emotions?

I contemplated how difficult it would be to have sex. I am sex-indifferent. Sometimes, I thought I felt sexual attraction. No, sexual attraction is having sexual thoughts and feelings about others. I can feel arousal occasionally. I came to the conclusion that it would be difficult for me to engage in sex. Even if I felt aesthetic and romantic attraction, it would be difficult. The lack of sexual attraction is the reason it would be difficult. 

I think it would be difficult even if I was sex-favorable, aroused, and the other person was attractive.

What do you think?

I have seen some aces describe it as a desire for sexual activity. According to the primary vs secondary sexual attraction model, asexuals can only feel secondary sexual desire. There is no guarantee for developing secondary sexual desire. That model doesn't explain all of the experiences in the spectrum.

I am sex-indifferent. If I engaged in foreplay, I might feel arousal. I don't know if I would choose to have sex in that moment or not. When I'm by myself, I almost never feel aroused. I don't know how sex-favorable aces feel.

I met my cousin. I think he might be ace. I won't ask him what his sexual orientation is. Maybe he is allosexual, but he doesn't feel comfortable expressing his sexual attraction.

Some allosexuals don't express their sexual attraction much. I am friends with some like that. They don't tell me who they think is hot. Other allosexuals are very open about their sexual attraction.

Some religious people want to stop experiencing sexual attraction. It's probably because it's very distracting for them.

Sometimes I assume a woman is asexual if I feel aesthetic and romantic attraction to her. I might be surprised to find out she is not asexual. I am just projecting onto her.

Do people in South Asia tell their potential partner, they are sex-averse, or something else?

What happens if you tell someone you are ace?

Hello, I am a heteroromantic asexual man. I am 35. I live in Ohio. I am a vegetarian. I am self-employed. I am 5'7 and 125 lbs.

I like to exercise, cook, watch movies/shows, travel, play chess, draw, and listen to music. On the weekends, I go out to meet my friends. I am an ESFJ.

I want to get married eventually. I want to have biological kids one day. I am sex-indifferent. I don't know whether I would like sex or not.

I prefer to date a heteroromantic asexual woman. She has to be 30-37. She has to be a vegetarian. It would be nice if she lives in Ohio or a neighboring state. She has to be shorter than me.

I realized I was asexual at 34. Some people realized it much younger. It was because I was ignorant about asexuality. I also confused aesthetic and romantic attraction to be sexual. I also masturbated occasionally. I thought it disqualified me from being asexual.

After I realized I was asexual, my libido decreased. Now, I don't get spontaneously aroused. When I thought I was heterosexual, I got spontaneously aroused.

Anyone else experience the same?