r/aznidentity

... ...

IAN CROSSLAND: ... ...

So if all the Chinese Americans, for instance, here with even maybe some family in China, maybe they don't — if there was a war between the Chinese and the Americans, and the Chinese landed in, like, Alaska and started coming through Canada, what — do think we should intern all the Chinese Americans we can find? Because it kind of seems like we should.

LABONTE: Well, I — again, nowadays, I think it's a different context. There were there have been so many people that have come here illegally. China has absolutely been using birth tourism. I mean, tourism. ... ...

LABONTE: Yeah. You know, basically, China has been — there are people that can, or there there are companies that will, you know, fly pregnant women to U.S. territories, so that way ... Once the child's born there, they get a birth certificate, and then back China with them. ...

KEVIN SMITH: I mean, it is so crazy, the concept of birth tourism — there is such a difference between, like, people who are going through the process and want to be here for and then, like, one to, like even if — even if you use — even if you give people the best of intentions, you're pregnant, and then you go on vacation to New York for the Saint Patrick's Day parade and go into early labor accidentally, not intention — you have every intention of going back, and you have a kid, he's an American citizen? That is bananas. That concept.

... ...

... ...

... ...

CROSSLAND: I know I don't want to implicate all Chinese Americans because that's horrific. That's why — I know plenty of Chinese people, Chinese Americans, I don't want them interned if there was some conflict between the Chinese, but how can you tell? How can you tell who's who? How can you tell where their allegiances are? And how do you know if their allegiances will or won't flip if the tide of war starts to change?

SMITH: Well, I don't think you could do that now because I think while they were interning the Japanese, a lot of people probably didn't know what was happening. You know, like, they were like, you can't do stuff like that now — with social media and stuff, there'd be there'd be protests outside of each one of them. And and I'm not saying you should, but I don't think that — I don't think that that's a possibility now. And I'm sure people are going to compare it to ICE detention facilities, though that's not remotely the same thing.

... ...

LABONTE: We've had some some discussions about that, and I think that even entertaining those arguments is a bad — a bad strategy, because if you entertain an argument, you're implicitly saying well, that's a reasonable perspective. You know, I'm going to address this. That's a reasonable thing, so let me explain why you're wrong. That kind of stuff is just I like, out of hand — oh, shut up.

TLDR: "Preferences" now translated into blatant racially-motivated self-selecting and discriminatory behavior. Not this nonsense again. See the article attached.

Mysterious platform ‘WMAF Meet’ uses AI to facilitate SF’s ‘most in-demand pairing’

By Eddie Kim

2:34 PM PDT on August 17, 2026

Are you a “Western” man looking for your perfect Asian girlfriend?

A new invite-only dating platform is offering to help in that search, using AI to find compatible matches and help create “families that start here, and friendships that last a lifetime.”

The site is called WMAF Meet. The acronym usually refers to a “white male, Asian female” coupling; the use of “Western” by the site is a deviation from the norm online. 

It is unclear if only white men qualify as “Western” for the website, but it suggests that it is a place intended for people searching for the “the most common pairing in this city.” 

WMAF Meet is currently in a pre-launch stage, with no set date for a full unveil, according to the site. The site does not name any founders or operators, but a lookup of the website’s domain name found it was registered on May 19. 

So far, there are allegedly 2,431 applicants in a “Cohort 1” waitlist of up 8,888. (Intentionally or not, the number 8 is a lucky number in many East Asian cultures.) 

You have to pay to access the service, but the cost is hidden until after sign-up. The first cohort of applicants will get a “reduced rate,” according to the site. In order to join, applicants have to verify their identity and submit a short written application. (This reporter did not get an application invite by press time.) No other gender identity besides “male” and “female” are offered in the sign-up process.

WMAF Meet insists that the entries are initially reviewed by humans to allow only “good-faith” applicants and weed out “fetishistic applicants”; the site does not go in-depth on what kind of review or criteria is used for this selection process. 

Then, the applications are reviewed by AI. “Our matching model analyzes applications for compatibility, intent, and lifestyle fit — surfacing matches that a swipe would never reveal,” the site states. 

The site also acknowledges the risk of racial stereotyping, but its makers claim WMAF Meet actually helps prevent that. 

“The pairing is already one of the most common in the city. Naming it plainly and screening for intent is how people get met as individuals rather than as a type,” the site states. 

San Francisco is a hotbed of interracial relationships, but the white male-Asian female pairing is a very visible and joked-about trope in the Bay Area dating scene. A Pew survey in 2017 found that 26 percent of respondents in the San Francisco-Oakland-Hayward area were intermarried, 10 percentage points more than the national average. In the Bay Area, significantly more white people in the survey were married to non-white partners — 22 percent versus 10 percent of white people in the national average. 

The WMAF pairing has also been the subject of an online culture war that has often dipped into prejudice and misogyny. The phrase “Oxford Study” went viral in 2024, born from social media comments that wrongly suggest that the phenomenon of Asian women being attracted to white men has some scientific backing, or otherwise needs to be studied. The viral moment stirred up discourse that criticized fetishes, systemic racism, and the historical emasculation of Asian men in America. However, the debate also devolved into blame from men’s rights-focused Asian men on platforms like Reddit and TikTok, who shared anecdotes of being rejected romantically by Asian women who prefer white men. 

The complicated intersection of race, sex, and romance is why Jennifer Noble, a Los Angeles-based psychologist who specializes in interracial relationships and mixed-race families, told Gazetteer that she has some serious concerns about the framework of WMAF Meet. 

The limitations on who can join and the hyperfocus on one racial and gender configuration can lead to problems like fetishization and exploitative behavior, Noble said. She pointed to a history of white America sexualizing Asian women as exotic, submissive beings, and acknowledged that some communities of color “glorify” a relationship with a white man as a sign of upward mobility and assimilation, Noble said. 

“I think being drawn to something is different than a conscious intentional preference, and I don’t know that everyone can distinguish the two. The thing that worries me most, from my expertise, is the children that come from these partnerships,” Noble said, adding that people who select a partner based on race can still believe in racist tropes and incite conflicts about identity in the family. 

This isn’t to say that interracial relationships always have problems, Noble stressed, but rather that the context and risks in these relationships are worth knowing. Many WMAF pairings are fulfilling and positive, she said, with a caveat: “I feel like those relationships grow more organically than it would for someone who purposely goes on a site to look for a race.” 

WMAF Meet did not respond to Gazetteer’s questions — about their operations, how human employees weed out “fetishistic applicants,” how AI is used in matchmaking, the future cost of joining the site, and who the founders are — by press time. We will update the story if we receive a reply.

It's been bothering me for so long.

I'm a Chinese international that has been dating and then married to a white woman for 10 years.

I intellectually know I shouldn't still be bitter about the treatment I suffered at the hands of AF, since I'm married now, but the pain and resentment has bubbled beneath the surface for a long time. Not for not getting more dates, but for the fundamental disrespect that I've been shown, that I don't even dare show towards animals. My entire life, AF outside my family have treated me as lower than an animal. Lower than dirt, in fact.

I remember in high school where I confessed to a girl and she laughed in my face.

I remember when a college date ghosted me at a subway in Beijing after she agreed to date 2 and we had a great time on date 1. She's still single today.

I remember when a grad school ex from Hong Kong broke up with me over text saying that she was only trying me out, then promptly started dating a guy that looked like Homer Simpson.

I remember my next ex in my job, who was from my home province. At one point, I was texting her some cool stuff I saw, and she literally replied "you can text me less, we have our own lives". A year later, she agreed to host a party with me, then just left during the party we were supposed to host together. I was texting her trying to figure out where she was, even as guests arrived. Comes home next day, claims it was mental health problems. I try to help her through it, she decides, no, she's had enough of me, I'm the toxic person in her life.

Every single AF in my life up to that point has treated me as disposable. Every, single, one. Not a single one treated me as a human worthy of the minimum respect. This was not an exaggeration.

My self esteem was near zero after that breakup. I quit my job, stayed in a cheap single room for months, living off savings. I could not handle life.

I didn't know what was my problem. I was fit, clean, decent hair, work in STEM, fully bilingual. I preferred doing art, reading, writing and singing karaoke to myself over watching TV or sports. I'm a pretty gentle person and love spoiling the women in my life. But apparently, none of it was enough.

Finally, I snapped out of it. I decided, I don't care anymore, I'm gonna try white. Within literal hours, I had a date with a white woman.

Everything AF took for granted, my first WF date thought was awesome. To actually be appreciated for being bilingual, reading books and doing art? Barely even mentions my job, let alone the salary, because she is really interested in me the person? Wow. Up to that point, I had never had so many compliments from a single woman before. Though my first relationship with a white woman didn't last, it also didn't end by me being ghosted, screamed at or a text breakup. It was an amicable parting. We did not share sufficient values. I am OK with that.

I thought that was a fluke. But I kept myself open. I didn't reject any AF.

It just so happened another WF fell into my life, my wife, before any AF could come in.

I don't demand that every AF immediately love me or anything. But to not be treated with the level of respect that they gave to even dogs was heartbreaking. And to this day, I still do not understand why.

Hi all! My friend made a short film starring Perry Yung aka Father Jun and right now the team needs funding to finish it. Please support and share their gofundme!

Logline: An estranged son with terminal illness returns home hoping to reconcile with his aging father, only to find time slipping away faster than either of them imagined.

Thank you! 🙏🏻

I'm polynesian and from Australia, My whole life I've always thought of myself as a pacific Islander and still do, But, Genetic DNA can't be denied. We've built our own culture over thousands of years, but I keep coming back to the fact that we are just Taiwanese Asians (approx 80%) who mixed with Melanesian Papuans, which therefore created modern day Polynesians. What are your thoughts on Asians who are mixed? Do you, as an Asian, Consider someone who is predominantly Asian genetically, but is Mixed with another race, an Asian?

Hi I apologize if this isn't the right place to post but I just wanted to see if this is a common experience in North America. For context, I am Chinese born Canadian in my late 20s. I understand bits and basics of Korean due to having an ex partner who is Korean but also born in Canada. Edit: forgot to mention, I'm AF

I live in a condo and one day I was taking the elevator down to the buildings gym. In the elevator were two other Korean girls with me when I entered who looked like they were in their early to mid 20s. We were only in there for less than 15 seconds, and I heard clearly one of the girls say to her friend "wow, an 8" and then giggle in Korean. I didn't understand at first what they meant but when I got to gym and looked in the mirrors I found out what they were likely referring to my shirt size. I was wearing a Lululemon workout shirt and hadn't notice when I left my place that the tag was sticking out from behind my back as I had put it on too hastily. For anyone who's familiar with the brand, Lululemon makes very long tags near the collar of their shirts and the size label is clear near the top.

I never considered myself overweight, but I'm definitely not ideal when it comes to Korean standards for women. I am 164cm and weigh 125lbs which is healthy and even lower than average weight in western standards. I wore a size 8 shirt because I liked that style to be looser on my body rather than the usual sizes 4-6 that I wear.

I am usually not bothered by my weight or appearance, but when I got home I couldn't help but feel incredibly upset and humiliated by this experience. How they could just insult me in broad daylight for my shirt size knowing that I could possibly understand them unless they could tell that I'm not Korean. My friends and my ex have told me that Koreans are pretty toxic when it comes to appearances and culture, but it's the first time I've actually experienced something like this coming from another person and a complete stranger even. And now, I feel like I need to lose weight even though I understand that my weight is perfectly fine and healthy.

Has anyone had something similar happen with them? How do I cope with this?

I haven’t seen the movie but I know it’s a teen staple! I can’t wait to see how it comes to life onstage!

What's up, Golden community! 👋🏾

I’m Martell, and I wanted to share my thoughts on YT men dating Asian women and the broader cultural conversation surrounding these relationships in 2026.

This isn't about saying interracial relationships are inherently good or bad.

People have the right to date whoever they want. I'm more interested in discussing the patterns, perceptions, stereotypes, representation, dating preferences, and double standards that can surround this particular interracial pairing.

Why does this topic generate so much tension within Asian communities?

Why do discussions about it sometimes turn into arguments about Asian identity, masculinity, femininity, Western beauty standards, or representation?

I'm interested in hearing different perspectives, including disagreement, as long as we can have an honest discussion without immediately attacking one another.

What are your thoughts?

There’s so much good Asian techno and house artists now but somehow the ‘Asian’ anthem is some mid YT boy song.

Listen to Park Hye Jin, Peggy Gou, ZHU, Giraffage, etc, good god

Preface:

Master of None was a very popular Netflix show that ran from 2015 to 2020. It was created by two Asian men, Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang. They were listed as the showrunners of the show. The main character of the show was Dev, an Indian Muslim fellow played by Aziz. For Aziz, it was a family affair; he had his real parents playing his TV parents on the show.

The premise of the show was simple, an South Asian American fellow trying to figure out his place in the world as a South Asian Muslim American man living in the west with him anchored to reality with the support of his lesbian African American and a Korean American best friends. Both also having navigating their own lives as who they were.

In 2018, during the height of the Me Too Movement, Aziz Ansari got caught in the 'Mass Cancelling' frenzy. Base many upon many accounts of stuff I read about Hollywood, since the 90s, the Me Too Movement was a much need wakeup call for the entire industry and the American public. Old Hollywood was notorious for 'graping' of young actress. The 'Golden Age of Hollywood' was more hellish than golden. The Hollywood that inundated the world with the ideal white male masculinity was full of grapists, women beaters and murderous gangsters. However, the Aziz Ansari ordeal shouldn't have even registered. He didn't deserve the bullsh*t he went through because, at best, his situation was a bad date. You can read the full People's Article here. The whole situation was so ridiculous that Ashleigh Banfield, white women CNN anchor, came to Aziz's defense. Because of what 'DIDN'T HAPPENED,' Ansari and Yang lost their Netflix show.

Around the time of popularity of Master of None, the movie The Big Sick, about a South Asian fellow and White female relationship, was a hit. As you probably have guested, the character Dev hooked up with white women in Master of None. At the beginning of each season, he hooked up with a white women, and then the relationship goes sour. The next season, a new white love interest came into Dev's life. There were other movies and TV show, around that time, that shared a similar theme of South Asian men breaking out of their comfort zone.

The Gatekeeping:

The South Asian male/White female motif made a considerable wave that a South Asian women wrote an op-ed criticizing the South Asian male/White female dynamic in western cinema (The pursuit of white women: Brown actors like Aziz Ansari have reduced brown women to a punchline). Here's another article written around the time of Master of None that put a microscope on South Asian men and white women in movies. It hasn't escaped me that the Southeast Asian experience is not the same as Southeast and East Asian experiences. However, the gatekeeping of both group parallels. Both South, Southeast and East Asian female liberals (boba libs) not only detest Asian men but want to make sure all women kind also detests Asian men as well. The difference is that Southeast Asian men have been flying under the radar, until recently, while Southeast and East Asian men have been demeaned and degraded for over a century, and western media with their boba-lib right hand constantly remind the world of Asian men's place.

Cause and Effect:

What happened to Aziz Ansari was the cause and effect of Asian men being victims of gatekeeping. Western society and media had to literally got their teeth pulled for them to go after men like Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, etc. (list below). Aziz Ansari went on a bad date, and the entire western propaganda came after him because it was easy due to the normalization of hamulating Asian men and Asian culture. That, friends, is what Gatekeeping and affect it have on Asian men and Asian men's psyche. The unattractive Asian men and ick factors were created as part of that Gatekeeping, so are other things that humiliate, demoralized and keep Asian men, mentally, in their lane in western society.

In conclusion, no, you're not paranoid, an INCEL, unattractive, undesirable, a-sexual nor ineffectual.

https://preview.redd.it/mcpzjld7gtjh1.png?width=697&format=png&auto=webp&s=f9118873232eea7def72c820aad29e6d9039bd57

I want to preface this by saying this is absolutely not a troll post. It happened, and I'm genuinely conflicted. Please read through the post before reacting or voting.

I was recently at a community/political event where one of the speakers was introducing herself and talking about her background and family.

At one point, she mentioned that she and her husband come from different ethnic backgrounds and then said that the combination “makes for beautiful children.” For context, she is seeking local elected office and is Asian descent, and her husband is northern European of Scandinavian origin because she explained the origin of her married name. She is in her late 50's/early 60's.

People laughed, she moved on, and there wasn't any confrontation. It was basically one awkward sentence in a much longer introduction at the beginning. But the comment has stuck with me since it was out of place and the city's is roughly 70,000 residents also, and also overwhelming at least 70% Asian per the federal census.

Even if I assume the most charitable interpretation - that she loves her husband and kids, thinks her kids are beautiful, and was making a harmless joke about her family.

At the same time, at campaign event of well over 60 people and in a public setting, something about explicitly connecting the racial/ethnic combination of the parents to how attractive their children are rubbed me the wrong way. There are already complicated cultural conversations about mixed-race children, colorism, White/Caucasian/Eurocentric beauty standards, and documented Waisan social events blocking others from social participation, treating particular interracial combinations as especially desirable and has generated considerable criticisms.

I also wondered whether I'm reading way too much into an awkward joke that everyone else apparently forgot five seconds later or pretended she didn't say it. So I'm curious how people who aren't involved in the local politics hear it.

AITA for thinking “our ethnic combination makes for beautiful children” is a tone-deaf thing for a public-facing community figure to say, even if she was obviously talking affectionately about her own family?

Would you have thought anything of the comment if you'd heard it in the room, or would you have just laughed and moved on?

Given the public nature of the comment, even though it was done in a legislative meeting, I am considering filing a complaint with the city.

Thoughts?

Recently came across a high profile case of animal abuse in China that has become a rallying cry for animal rights groups across the world centered on China's lack of national animal protection laws. Really started a journey down the rabbit holes of both animal rights across Asia and it being used to justify prejudice against Asians. Here's some pictures I picked out:

https://preview.redd.it/uzo5fjkz7ijh1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=050d97d0ea1a3f8c7ec289ac12b451a5b4198924

https://preview.redd.it/kqcgqd418ijh1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2740dbf36fe3c22c8301493d4a365fb8ba3ea456

https://preview.redd.it/zj7ykmv18ijh1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b92ab96dc25a04b80c1d24bfc664e9a567cb9b7f

https://preview.redd.it/786ejbym8ijh1.jpg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40720d72d1b0d4b5f3cca57c0c5a43bc75e30dc6

https://preview.redd.it/v30mu0ln8ijh1.png?width=269&format=png&auto=webp&s=41fc2129e0a07f20a4454214753175b6d1ca90f6

These cases are undoubtedly tragedies, and animal protection does have progress to be made across Asia. However, I have noticed the continuing trend in the West of how some weaponize it for their own agendas and use it to justify hatred.

The "Chinese eat dogs and cats" stereotype comes to mind, and how much moral outrage—genuine and amplified—it caused in the USA, fueled even more as the covid-19 pandemic hit. I've no doubt it played a part in motivating hate crimes too. China and Chinese people aren't the only targeted though.

(Sea Shepherd next to a Japanese whaling ship)

https://preview.redd.it/02y96jupbijh1.png?width=418&format=png&auto=webp&s=42482b5c244b70470df16847d54a7ba8ea8c8f07

https://preview.redd.it/7f3sxuj6fijh1.png?width=289&format=png&auto=webp&s=5cd6c69b48454bb3e2a13036bb49b25f8c54a249

https://preview.redd.it/do0ky2e6cijh1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a03a8eabe74165554fe25ecdfae905a548c47f3

Besides the usual "1 billion Chinese/Indians are worth less than 1 animal"-type hate comments and stereotyping entire cultures, I've also noticed comments originating from Chinese immigrants to the West who have "escaped China" for repressing animal rights activists, claiming that Asian men are the overwhelming perpetrators in their countries because—allegedly—they are incels who can't find relationships and take out their anger through cruelty to animals.

https://preview.redd.it/fjhinajdfijh1.jpg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f476298a847ec96bee057a57aeac5267f6f6949e

https://preview.redd.it/prm0q5tefijh1.jpg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b696f45952991758f0893522c7858696066fcade

It is interesting how much many seem to focus on species like dogs and cats, commonly viewed as loving companion animals in the West and thus sacrilegious to even think of hurting, much less by "inferior" ethnicities. You would think this should extend to all animals, seeing how livestock are still treated? I unironically support organizations like PETA, who despite being ragged on and accused of being a psyop, are less hypocritical than many of those virtue signaling. This feels like a pan-partisan issue that everyone (especially self-hating Asians) can get behind, and the bigots piggybacking off of it can shield their racism pretty well.

Shoutout to the true animal rights activists!

After several hours, I have personally taken away that felines and canines have cute privilege, countries in Asia face both animal protection issues and cultural imposition, what sadistic sociopaths do in Asian countries are inevitably going to fuel the flames of anti-racism in the West, and misanthropic animal lovers are can be quite racist.

What does everyone here think?

As a South Asian, I find it super hard to ask for directions from strangers. Especially when I was in Europe. I remember most white people I came across just pretended not to hear me, kept on walking or gave vague replies. I have seen different results when it comes to a white person asking, which is quite sad frankly.

I always try to help any foreigner with directions, regardless of their skin colour. I know we have phones and all that, but sometimes bad things happen, especially when your phone isn't charged or gets lost.

Basic courtesy like this is what makes us human with empathy. Sad :(