r/questioning

Ive always been straight and never been that interested in trans women either. When matched with her, I genuinely thought she was a girl but then after a few exchanges she said "have you ever been with a boy before?" I was a bit shocked and said "ohh you're trans, I didn't notice" and then 'she' said she doesn't identify as trans just a boy and even has her pronouns as he/him on bio, despite looking very much like a girl.

So yeah, I thought id just run with it as am fairly open minded, so we arranged a date, just a few drinks and it went well, we kinda hit it off. The only thing that stood out was her voice was, not exactly deep, but a slightly different quality than a woman's voice. Didn't talk about anything remotely gender oriented. Just the usual 1st date kinda stuff. We had a little kiss afterwards and it just felt like any other date with a girl.

Shes coming to my house in two days and now a bit unsure as im reluctant to be labeled as gay as theres still a stigma kind of in my circles. And I have no idea how I will react if it goes beyond kissing etc, but thats a whole other kettle of fish.

Does this mean im gay and is there any sage advice the wise reddit community can offer me?

Can I identiy as demigirl but still call myself male and use he/him pronouns? Because I feel like a part of me is female but I still prefer male.

So, I am a young adult cis woman but have always been very GNC. I don't like referring to myself as a woman and want to have the opposite sex's genitals. But this desire does not torment me, and I could probably go through the rest of my life as a woman. I usually don't like to think about who I am or what I want because of this as well and spend most of my time daydreaming instead. I also feel very dull most of the time unless it has to do with my hyper fixation (I have autism).(I heard some trans people report feeling dull before transitioning so that's why I added this part). Lastly whenever I play a game, I pick the male or nonbinary characters. But I don't hate being a woman so much it torments me?

So, I feel... eh? About being a guy. I don't exactly dislike it. It isn't uncomfortable or anything, but recently I find thst i have really weird thoughts now that i'm not worrying about, like, food.

I found myself fantasizing about being a woman the other day, and didn't catch it until I realized i thought "if I could do this, I think i might," which immediately just... "wait that's not a straight person thing to think."

Then I started noticing I do this kind of thing everywhere. I mostly embody myself in women when it comes to fiction, my favorite characters to write are women, i relate the most to women in media, and if I have a choice I tend to prefer to play women in games.

But then other times, I feel upset by it or like it's "a bad thing to think," and I can't tell how much of that is the conservative Christian upbringing vs actually ME. I feel like I don't have enough "evidence" towards how I feel one way or the other, if that makes sense, and I just wanted to get this off my chest. I just don't know if i'm psyching myself out or if there's something actually here.

Either way a second voice would be nice.

Posted on alternative account for... obvious reasons. (Mother is a conservative.)

Heres some context for I am. I'm a virgin, Cisgender male who's pretty sure about they're gender. I'm also not attracted to Men. I've only ever been attracted to women (both cis and trans and fem presenting NBs). But here's the thing, I am grossed out by genitals (both penises and vaginas) and I hate talking about sex (outside of kink spaces that is). But I still have sexual (and even pretty kinky) thoughts, just not about penises or vaginas, mostly other parts of the body (like boobs and butts) or kinky situations. I'm also not currently interested in and don't want a relationship. But the weird thing is I want to have sex and do kink stuff even though I've always viewed it as romantic. I want to be emotionally and sexually intimate with someone but without being in a relationship. I know this stuff is a spectrum, so I could theoretically be aroace but I don't really know how it works.

It might be important to know that I was raised by Catholics. They weren't the slut shaming or homophobic kind though. (I have openly queer friends and they're fine with that.) They also didn't really force catholicism onto me, I just grew up around it and absorbed some of their beliefs, but now I identify as agnostic. I bring this up because I'm not sure how much of my weird attitudes about sex come from this. I don't think it did though, because they didn't really discourage me from exploring my self (which I did in private.) When I was going through puberty they always told me I could talk to them about this stuff. But I never did. I just didn't want to talk about it.

What am I?

I always thought I was bisexual and a crossdresser, though from the past few months I am thinking I am pansexual and also wonder often what it would be like to have breasts, and think maybe I am trans. 

I have thought about HRT or a boob job, but I have had a lot of health issues ever since I was bo

I’ve been questioning whether or not I’m bisexual for a couple years now. I’ve found myself attracted to the female body as well as daydreaming about what it would feel like to be intimate with a woman since 2021 but I’ve never acted on it.

How do you figure it out? I don’t know where to go to interact with other lesbians or bisexual just naturally. I don’t really have an LGBT community around me, but I don’t think I’m ready to really be seen in that space just yet if you know what I mean.

TL;DR
I think I’m bisexual, but I’m not in a place where I can act on it nor am I really ready to be seen in such spaces since I’m in the closet and questioning. Any advice?

When I think of telling someone about how I feel with my anxiety and low self esteem i always get overwhelmed snd I feel like I retreat into a strange shell. It’s partly an age regression thing, but I also feel more like a girl when I do. Like, my inner voice gets higher and I just see myself doing more feminine mannerisms. It’s so hard to explain. But I guess overall it’s like, I feel safer opening up that way. It feels easier opening up to people if I imagine myself as a young girl even though im an 18 year old man. I’m so fucked.

I thought I "outgrew" my queerness but now I think it's confuses me. I'm 23 old woman. I'm sure of my gender but I started to notice some more masculine traits within myself. I don't think I'm a man but I also don't feel fully feminine. If I try to either dress or act more feminine I start to feel exposed(?). Also I thought I'm straight but sometimes when I imagine if my bf randomly turned into a woman I would still love him the same. Also on non-romantic level I find attractive more feminine guys and masculine girls. Sorry for my english btw. But any ideas what I could be? I really wanna find something that matches this description

I [19 turning 20, F] have come out thrice in my life... When I was in middle school, I came out as bisexual, assuming that I would like male and females the same way. Over time, when I got older, I realized that, I would much rather prefer to be with a female, I have dated a guy both online and in person and it just didn't feel right. But oddly enough, I am still attracted to men. When I reached high school sophomore year I came out as lesbian, but the attraction to a certain type of men threw me completely off balance. So junior year of high school, I came out again as pansexual and I have been adamant about being pansexual for the longest time. Except whenever I give the man a chance, I can't seem to cross any line past holding his hand. I can't see myself being with a man, sexual, or romantic. I can't see myself getting married to a man in the future, settling down and having kids with a man, but I can always see myself being with another woman, any woman. And now I'm not so sure if I like men or if I just like masculinity. Does anyone have any advice for me or any guesses on what I could possibly be?

I’ve been addicted to porn for a while now (not gonna say how long but it’s years) and I’ve tried to quit so many times it started out with just straight porn then I got curious started watching trans and gay porn, it’s now at the point where I want to become a sissy/femboy but I woke up today thinking I know I don’t want to be but when I get horny everything changes and I want to be treated like a girl again.

I think porn has made me gay and I’m wondering do I just submit to it or if I quit porn will I go back to being straight I’m so confused and I need help/advice on what to do.

Hi I’m a they/he gay here. I know I’m at least gay.. like when I see guys i know I am attracted to them sexually. But like I’ve had crushes on women growing up bc I thought they were pretty but idk if it was actually a sexual attraction or just my brain tricking me into thinking I like women to cope with being gay.

Now I’ve had times where I got close with a female friend to the point where we connect a lot and I start thinking what if we were together like that kinda stuff.. and it makes me question because I’m not really attracted to women’s bodies lol but def 100% sure for men. But those thought of sexuality questioning come in when I have that emotional connection with women and I really hate it kind because it feels like unwanted feelings kinda the same way I had unwanted gay feelings growing up xD and like

I don’t wanna come out again, I’m not out to everyone about being gay, but I also feel bad if I came out as bi to my friends that know I’m gay bc idk I just feel like scared they would judge me differently… maybe if I try to experiment I feel like maybe I would know for sure lol.
I just kinda don’t know

i considered myself omnisexual but ive now realised that i dont actually have a preference. i know that i’m not pan because i still take gender into consideration.

if there’s a more specific label someone please let me know 🙏🙏

Hi all,

I have been questioning my gender for about 2 weeks now, but I've questioned multiple times for varying durations over the past 4 years or so, the first time being the most intense and prolonged.

what concerns me is the circumstances of my questioning and what it could mean. I tend to start questioning almost exclusively after seeing a trans person or character in some form of media or in real life, then if enough time passes I kinda fade back into my life as a cis man and don't really question it any longer. I don't really remember my childhood at all so I don't know if I ever questioned as a child, though I do remember that I was kinda a transphobic dick when I was like 14 so probably not then.

Another concern (and the reason for the NSFW tag cos I don't know how strict yall are with it is that I am incredibly turned on by gender swap scenarios and the general idea of being a woman in a sexual context.

This would all be fine if I could truly say that I would want to be a woman, but in truth I'm not really sure, I can say that there are masculine aspects of my body that I dislike, and I think I'd prefer to be a woman in regular contexts, but it's not like a "yes, definitely" sort of situation. And i've never really been all that masculine as a guy so I don't think theres much I'd wanna do from a social perspective that I couldn't just do right now if I had the guts to be a bit gender non-conforming. When presented with the famous "magic button" conundrum, I'm genuinely not sure if I'd press it if it was irreversible, though I would smash that shit if I could go back after trying it.

The point I'm trying to make is that I don't consciously "want to be trans to be quirky/ for the sake of change/ for sexual reasons" but I'm just concerned that the questioning being triggered by seeing other trans people could lead to me subcosciously latching onto that, especially since I have a history of latching on to seemingly random topics and becoming obsessed with them, combine that with the fact that I feel kinda "good, but not like the best thing ever" about the idea of being a woman kinda throws me for a loop.

I'd appreciate literally any insight at the moment because I'm kinda losing my mind with indecisiveness atm.

I love women, but mostly Im attracted to masculine women (bringing this up for later) and I often get brought by friends to queer places, where I tend to meet gender ambiguous girls.

ANYWAYS, recently I went out to a place with a ‘queer’ crowd and I saw this guy who was the pinnacle of masculinity. He looked good really good: muscles, short hair almost like a buzz, and really tall; taller than me. At some point I think we started to exchange glances, to be fair it could just be that he noticed me glancing at him every so often (not flirting more of a “damn dude” way)
Later I saw him again and he waved so I waved back, but he started approaching me and I almost shit my pants bc a man as big as him felt like 50/50 chance he would punch me in my mouth (he didn’t!) instead he just greeted me and we talked about hunting buck for a few minutes (I started getting flustered? And would not shut up)

So I was gesturing as I was talking and he just grabbed it mid air and placed it on my lap but he let his hand kinda linger for a second (I shut up after this) wasn’t sure if he was annoyed but then he smiled at me and and put his finger through my belt loop and pulled on it (teasingly?) and said something like don’t worry. THEN hit me that he was kind of flirting with me so I played in a little, felt natural in the moment but he slid his hand further up my waist and I PANICKED and shut it down real quick, gave an obvious half assed excuse and left.

Now Ive been rethinking the whole situation over and over and my conclusion is: he was flirting 100% I fucked up but I kinda wanted to take it further? Only been with girls (srtv had a thing with a guy but we were kids) Like I said they were mostly masculine so Im questioning if I even like girls at all OR if this guy was an off chance thing?

Not the first time I have been hit on by a guy but it never felt like this, only notable thing in between was that they were feminine (twink?) but I don’t mind feminine girls so its got me in a loop again.

I feel like a mess, all these little things are starting to come back to me—I liked him but would that even work? Im masculine myself and I really enjoy being ‘the man’ of the relationship and I don’t quite like being babied or ‘supported’, I know I’m assuming what he likes but even if I did pursue a man like that I figure at some point we’d butt heads in some areas.

I wasn’t going to write about this but I’m so deep into it I might as well, I know not all masculine men top but I figure most do? If I did anything I would prefer to be on top but what if he is the same? now we have a sword fight? What if I didn’t want him like that but got confused? I think I was but I also wanted to suck his cock, also feeling extremely guilty about god all of a sudden for wanting to suck dick even though I left religion years ago.

Fuck this im going to bed, I need advice.

Hi.

I'm a lesbian (or so I thought) and I became close friends with a male (ew) coworker recently (he knows I identify as a lesbian). We had hung out outside of work multiple times and one night decided to go to a bar (as friends). We had quite a few drinks and ended up making out for an hour. This was the first time I had ever kissed a man. The day after I let him know that I was very conflicted.

This guy is super funny and we get along perfectly. We are literally the same person; it's crazy. If he were a woman, I would 100% date him. He has been very understanding throughout this whole process. After a few days, I went to his house (sober) and we watched a movie, cuddled and made out again. It didn't feel the same as kissing a woman and I told him the day after that I didn't think I could do it. I felt really bad, but again he was understanding. We've texted every day nonstop for the last month and we've hung out a few more times since the sober kissing.

Basically, I'm just super confused. I don't have sexual attraction towards men but romantically, this guy is perfect. I ask him why he couldn't have been born a woman every day. I don't know what to do. I've identified as lesbian for approximately 4 years and I'm losing my mind over here. I really don't think I could ever be physically intimate with a man but this guy genuinely seems like my soulmate.

Tips?

After years of identifying as gay, I've recently realised that I still feel romantic and sexual attraction to women, which is a pretty profound shift for me.

This realisation coincided with a low point for me, where I was feeling pretty depressed about the direction my life was going and was questioning basically every assumption I held about myself. I had dated women when I was younger, and was in love at one point, but at a certain point in my twenties I found myself being more attracted to men, hence adopting the gay label.

In regards to being with women, I had long thought 'that ship has sailed'. Now, I find myself noticing women when I'm in public, thinking about them romantically and imagining a future together.

I would like to explore dating women, but I my brain is a bit overwhelmed with both good and bad feelings. I'm excited about the possibilities, but I'm also plagued with anxiety and doubt.

I spend a great amount of time ruminating about (occasionally irrational) things like:

• What if my sexual attraction to men turns out to be stronger, is it fair to try to date a woman in these circumstances?
• Will women be accepting of my sexuality?
• What if anxiety gets the better of me and I can't perform in bed?
• Being scared that I'm leading a girl on and will end up hurting her.

I guess these are pretty common things to worry about, but I'd like to hear from other bisexual people about how you navigated these kinds of concerns.

All in the title really. I went about 17 years of my life comfortably living as a girl. In high school, I started thinking kind of obsessively about what my life would be like as a guy. Not in a male privilege, penis-envy way either—I conceived an entire other self in my head that I still sometimes want to embody to this day. He's like a mental persona, kind of separate to myself but not really.

Anyway, the point is I really enjoy androgyny and suspect that I might be nonbinary or on the transmasculine side, but I'm aware that my experience is way different to what most trans guys and nonbinary people go through (I was surrounded by trans friends as a teenager), so I don't really know. Is there a distinction between being trans and just wishing to be someone I'm not?

Does that even make sense? Does it sound like I'm overthinking it? lol

Thank you.

I enjoy yuri content, but I’m male and straight in real life. Does enjoying this type of media imply anything about sexuality, or is it just preference?

I dont think i've ever seen a male enjoy yuri content, maybe its just something im paranoid about?

I just love when girls cuddle and kiss

I wish that liking girls wasn't what I'm supposed to do, I don't want to be straight but I don't like men, I don't even know what I am