Help please 🙏 [M] [18]
To some, I might seem like a complete fool, but others might actually understand where I'm coming from. Honestly, I'm not here to tell anyone what to think my life and experiences are just very different from yours. If you know you're not going to like what I have to say, feel free to stop reading now. But if you choose to keep going, at least read with an open mind instead of spreading hate.
I haven't said this to anyone before, but I think I might be gay or somewhere along those lines. This is something I’ve wrestled with for years. I was raised Christian and spent my life trying to follow God, but looking at the world around me now, I feel confused about my faith and what I truly believe.
The one thing I know for sure is that I get a nervous, heart-pounding feeling around men that I constantly try to hide. I’m comfortable in my own skin I like dressing as a guy I just genuinely find men attractive and want to build connections with them, whereas I feel very little emotional connection to women. It’s just how I feel, and I’m coming to accept that it’s my nature.
I'm sharing this because I’m stuck and mentally drained keeping it inside. I’m a Black guy with a single mom and siblings who are all devout Christians, and almost everyone in my community holds strong beliefs against being attracted to men. I even subtly tested the waters with my brother, whom I trust, but his reaction showed me it isn't safe to share this with him right now. I feel completely trapped and isolated. I needed to get this out, so if you’ve read this far, I’m hoping for some open-minded advice on what to do and who I can safely talk to.
I don't dress like a girl, and I'm not into acting 'zesty' or flamboyant—in fact, that's just not who I am, and I prefer to present like a regular guy. I just happen to be attracted to men, and I'm trying to figure out how to navigate that. To anyone who can offer solid advice, please jump, just keep in mind that coming out to my family isn't an option for me right now because it isn't safe.