what am i
soooo like i've been questioning my sexuality for a while now. when i was like 10-13 i used to identify as bisexual cus i had a crush on my primary classmate that lasted a few years and i thought i was attracted to women, then one day when i was like 14 i realised 'oh wait i've never been attracted to women' and started identifying as straight, and. well. that didnt last long cus almost IMMEDIATELY (like one month in) after i identified as straight, i started getting gay thoughts about my female classmates like i would think they're cool cute or pretty and i'd be blushing. i dont know if this was because i was lonely as hell and REALLYYY socially awkward to the point that i only had one close friend at school, so i still kept identifying as straight cus 'hey thats not exactly proof i'm bi!!' until BAM. i got a crush on one of my classmates/ex friends. i thought that she was cute and my heart would flutter when she would talk to me. but like idk cus i would fantasise making those 'i love my girlfriend posts on tiktok' and her being my girlfriend sometimes so idk if this was a crush or admiration cus i also thought she was cool and funny. Then one day it was world book day, yk wear you go to school dressed up as characters and shit. so like, my crush(?) came in cosplaying as Misa from Death Note and i kid you not the second i saw her i started blushing IMMEDIATELY. and this would happen every time i saw her that day 😭😭 the turning point was on 5th period that day where she was sitting right behind me and i couldn't even turn my head around without blushing and i was blushing like crazy in that lesson cus all i could think about was her and her outfit cus it was so so pretty. and then thats when i realised i was bi. my crush on her lasted around 2-3 weeks, we're friends now and honestly i only really see her as a friend now, nothing else, but i occasionally imagine myself in a relationship with her, or telling her i used to have a crush on her and it turning it into some romantic moment. but heres the thing, shortly after i started identifying as bi again, my atrraction went back towards mostly men AGAIN, like tf is this 😭😭. i also often imagine scenarios of me hooking up with women when im older. im 16 now so idk if im bi, heteroflexible or bicurious. pls help. thanks.