r/QuestioningTeens

soooo like i've been questioning my sexuality for a while now. when i was like 10-13 i used to identify as bisexual cus i had a crush on my primary classmate that lasted a few years and i thought i was attracted to women, then one day when i was like 14 i realised 'oh wait i've never been attracted to women' and started identifying as straight, and. well. that didnt last long cus almost IMMEDIATELY (like one month in) after i identified as straight, i started getting gay thoughts about my female classmates like i would think they're cool cute or pretty and i'd be blushing. i dont know if this was because i was lonely as hell and REALLYYY socially awkward to the point that i only had one close friend at school, so i still kept identifying as straight cus 'hey thats not exactly proof i'm bi!!' until BAM. i got a crush on one of my classmates/ex friends. i thought that she was cute and my heart would flutter when she would talk to me. but like idk cus i would fantasise making those 'i love my girlfriend posts on tiktok' and her being my girlfriend sometimes so idk if this was a crush or admiration cus i also thought she was cool and funny. Then one day it was world book day, yk wear you go to school dressed up as characters and shit. so like, my crush(?) came in cosplaying as Misa from Death Note and i kid you not the second i saw her i started blushing IMMEDIATELY. and this would happen every time i saw her that day 😭😭 the turning point was on 5th period that day where she was sitting right behind me and i couldn't even turn my head around without blushing and i was blushing like crazy in that lesson cus all i could think about was her and her outfit cus it was so so pretty. and then thats when i realised i was bi. my crush on her lasted around 2-3 weeks, we're friends now and honestly i only really see her as a friend now, nothing else, but i occasionally imagine myself in a relationship with her, or telling her i used to have a crush on her and it turning it into some romantic moment. but heres the thing, shortly after i started identifying as bi again, my atrraction went back towards mostly men AGAIN, like tf is this 😭😭. i also often imagine scenarios of me hooking up with women when im older. im 16 now so idk if im bi, heteroflexible or bicurious. pls help. thanks.

Is it a red flag that my (white) boyfriend says the N word because he thinks it’s his “right”? We’re been together for a few years and I just now realized that he does this.

Hace un par de meses llegué a desarrollar sentimientos por mi mejor amiga y la verdad es que estoy bien confundida 😭. Nunca había sentido algo así por alguien de mi mismo género, pero siento que me gusta y luego de la nada ya no, y después otra vez sí.
Ella sí es lesbiana y cuando tiene interacciones con otras niñas a veces me pongo un poquito celosa, pero ni siquiera sé si son celos de amiga o si es por algo más.
También hay veces en las que pienso que simplemente la quiero muchísimo como amiga y estoy confundiendo mis sentimientos, pero otras veces digo “no, creo que sí me gusta”.
No sé si a alguien le haya pasado algo parecido o cómo se dieron cuenta de si realmente les gustaba alguien o si solo era cariño de amistad.

I'm biologically a girl but I don't really feel anything for being a girl if anything I don't like being seen as feminine,it makes me uncomfortable sometimes and I don't really care if people see me as a boy, I dress in more masculine clothes but I don't feel connected to being either a boy or a girl, idk it's confusing 🥀 so what would be I be considering in the lgbtq+ community?

[supprimé]

like genuinely 😭😔 i like men i promise but this just makes me stop in my tracks and go hmm…

18f

I think I'm bi but also feel like i can be aroace one day bi the next day and straight after that. I dont know what to do.

I’m currently a sophomore in high school, and I’m seriously confused about something. There’s this one girl who I’m like 99% sure is gay, and I really get along with her. She’s called me cool and pretty, and she always joins in on my conversations and seems to want to talk to me. I genuinely love talking to her, and I find myself looking for her in class and trying to start conversations with her.

I’ve even caught myself thinking, “Would this impress her?” when I do random things, which is making me question everything. Sometimes I get really flustered when I talk to her, and my cheeks will really go red.

The thing is, I don’t feel sexually attracted to her, and I’ve never really thought about her in that way. I know I’m attracted to men, and it’s always felt obvious to me that I like guys. But now I’m wondering if I might like girls too, or if I’m just really attached to her as a friend.

I’m honestly so confused and could really use some advice because I don’t know what these feelings mean i’ve always been sure i’m straight.

I've wondered if I liked girls for a long time. I've just had no way to confirm it because I'm really shy and no one has told me they liked me since I was 8. It's messing with my head.

About 8-9 months ago I was at a cafe with some of my friends. I look over at her and I felt weirdly attracted to her, like I got butterflies and couldn't stop staring. My brain was like saying "yeah that's attractive" and I brushed it off as just thinking she looked pretty or something.

A few weeks after I'm with her and some friends and she says to me "I had a dream last night that you had a crush on me" and my heart dropped to my fucking stomach. I remember consciously trying to seem like that was a bizarre idea for me, I laughed weirdly and I bet I was blushing like crazy, it was so unconvincing and I don't know if that means something, I just feel like if I didn't like her like that, I wouldn't feel such a strong need to convince everyone around me that I was weirded out by the idea. I bet all of my friends were suspicious, and honestly, I would be too if I was them.

Fast forward to today, I see her every couple of weeks, and recently I was so anxious around her that I couldn't look her in the eye, it was that serious. I get butterflies when she smiles. I know she's queer. If what I'm feeling is real it's the most down bad I've ever been for anyone, definitely more than any boy I've had a crush on. I dream about her a lot now, my heart is pounding just thinking about everything. I'm gonna throw up lmao

I'm terrified because I'm scared that if I come out as bi it'll end up that I was wrong the whole time and that would be so scary for me. What if I'm just overthinking this? what if it's just that I think she's pretty and nothing more? Am I gaslighting myself?

Is this a crush, am I bi and what do I do about it? God help me

Okay let me explain. Every time I've kissed a boy (or let one kiss me), I feel this little voice in my head going "am I doing this right? am I pretty enough? is my breath okay?" It's like I'm performing in a play.

Last weekend, I kissed a girl from my art class. And I didn't feel ANY of that. I just... existed? I wasn't thinking about how I looked. I wasn't worried about what she thought. I just felt... safe.

But now my brain is gaslighting me. What if I only liked it because she didn't make me feel like I had to perform?? What if I'm not actually into girls—I'm just TIRED of boys?? Every girl is tired of boys at 14. That doesn't make us gay. RIGHT??

Someone PLEASE tell me if this is attraction or just "I hate the male gaze" energy.

TL;DR: Kissing a girl felt peaceful. Kissing boys feels like a performance. Is that gay or just exhaustion?

I’ve been flip-flopping between lesbian and bisexual for months and now it’s become apparent that I’m a lesbian, and for some reason i can’t logically explain, I feel like breaking down.

I have known I was queer for 2 years now and have been as supportive as I can be for the community and my queer friends ever since. I try to help my friends out with questioning and reassure them through rough times (I’m in a conflicted area of my state, its overall pretty republican and homo/transphobic, mostly transphobic, but there also pride events and small spots of progressiveness…so you get supporters right next to really shitty people, and often my friends’ parents are very iffy about the whole thing; we’re teenagers so that’s important lol) but now I’m dealing with that and feel weirdly invalid and wrong.

I keep having really internally homophobic thoughts, feeling suddenly gross for liking girls when I’ve felt okay about it for so long and feeling wrong and like I really SHOULD be into guys and I SHOULD get a boyfriend but I don’t want to, deep down. I feel like I’m supposed to. I know I’m free to love whoever I love and I’m around highly supportive friends and I’m closeted to my family so they’re not up my ass about it either..for now. When I come out that may be a different story.

i don‘t know if this makes sense but the past two years I’ve known I wasn’t straight have felt..fun and not “real” I guess? Like I never thought too much about my sexuality beyond wondering a little what label fit me and recently it’s all come crashing onto me that this is real and influences relationships and stuff. I don’t know. Have any others felt this?? what do you call this feeling, how can I stop it? I know logically, again, love is love and labels don't really matter but I just know I’m a lesbian and I’m having a hard time accepting that.

Thanks for listening to the stressed rambling of a random queer kid

TL;DR: I’m dealing with this weird combination of internalized homophobia and something like comp-het and this feeling that two years ago was “oh hey I like girls! haha!!” and is now “…wait shit, I like GIRLS- WHAT THE FUCK”

I don’t know, like once or twice a year for the past 5 years I get the feeling that of: oh shit I am not a boy aaaah everything is wrong with my body and they have been getting more common and more intense and longer recently.
This was how I knew I did not just like girls in 3rd grade and every time I repress the hell out of it each time. And a little while ago I gave up on representing my sexuality but continued repressing my gender identity. Before it was unintentional but now I feel like I am really repressing something big

Any insight would be appreciated

Edit: i am almost sure I am not a girl. Probably EnBy

i’m questioning but i think i am enby or agender.
i genuinely can’t picture myself, like i am always like “that’s what i look like?” when i see photos or myself in the mirror. i dont know if its gender dysphoria or smth else

it’s just so confusing because i feel that im not cis but like i genuinely don’t know because i can’t picture myself as trans or like agender etc.

i know im a gay oriented aroace.

sorry if this is confusing to read