u/HobbyHoarderr_

lowk I’m already thinking about high school 😭

also guys I have two classes that give me high school credits ehehehe >:D

I’ve been flip-flopping between lesbian and bisexual for months and now it’s become apparent that I’m a lesbian, and for some reason i can’t logically explain, I feel like breaking down.

I have known I was queer for 2 years now and have been as supportive as I can be for the community and my queer friends ever since. I try to help my friends out with questioning and reassure them through rough times (I’m in a conflicted area of my state, its overall pretty republican and homo/transphobic, mostly transphobic, but there also pride events and small spots of progressiveness…so you get supporters right next to really shitty people, and often my friends’ parents are very iffy about the whole thing; we’re teenagers so that’s important lol) but now I’m dealing with that and feel weirdly invalid and wrong.

I keep having really internally homophobic thoughts, feeling suddenly gross for liking girls when I’ve felt okay about it for so long and feeling wrong and like I really SHOULD be into guys and I SHOULD get a boyfriend but I don’t want to, deep down. I feel like I’m supposed to. I know I’m free to love whoever I love and I’m around highly supportive friends and I’m closeted to my family so they’re not up my ass about it either..for now. When I come out that may be a different story.

i don‘t know if this makes sense but the past two years I’ve known I wasn’t straight have felt..fun and not “real” I guess? Like I never thought too much about my sexuality beyond wondering a little what label fit me and recently it’s all come crashing onto me that this is real and influences relationships and stuff. I don’t know. Have any others felt this?? what do you call this feeling, how can I stop it? I know logically, again, love is love and labels don't really matter but I just know I’m a lesbian and I’m having a hard time accepting that.

Thanks for listening to the stressed rambling of a random queer kid

TL;DR: I’m dealing with this weird combination of internalized homophobia and something like comp-het and this feeling that two years ago was “oh hey I like girls! haha!!” and is now “…wait shit, I like GIRLS- WHAT THE FUCK”

My dad and I had plans to attend the Indianapolis show tomorrow and I was even going to participate in one of those fan projects but as it turns out tickets sold so fast we didn’t get a spot :(

(and no my dad did not trust in the idea of buying tickets from someone on here, which is lowkey fair but I’m still disappointed)

so anyone who is going to the Indy show at the hi-fi annex, let me know how it goes! I hope I can find some clips of it to watch and pretend I’m there lol

me personally I love DMs that are good with descriptions and encourage role playing :D

I don’t know how it happened exactly, but in short I have had 2 hours of sleep over a period of (i think) 36 hours. I feel terrible, my eyelids are so heavy and my body feels so weird I will happily collapse onto any surface available but can’t sleep. I don’t know how it works or why but I’m so tired I feel anxious? Like there is nothing for me to be anxious over and yet I’m stewing in a long, constant anxiety attack. I want physical comfort; it feels like if someone held me close I could fall asleep instantly but there’s no one around to do that for me. I want to sleep so badly and I can’t. like I just won’t fall asleep. it’s midnight right now, I’m not sure what to do to recover and get my sht together and sleep, how do you guys come back from all nighters?

It definitely doesn’t help that I’m on my period so everything is way more intense than it normally would be anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I have insomnia because I struggle with sleep in various ways very frequently (and my dad has insomnia) but this is new. I haven’t had a single milligram of caffeine or melatonin so in theory i should be fast asleep, right?

I don’t know what I should do (also sorry if this seems to much like just a vent, I went here instead of the vent sub because I needed advice as well as a vent and this was a recommended sub. I will move it if it’s incorrectly placed. and sorry if this seems pathetic)

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1uplzut/please_read_as_this_is_very_important_and/

Link to the original post because I couldn’t figure out how to work the normal repost thing :/

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1uplzut/please_read_as_this_is_very_important_and/

reposting by OP’s wish and because this is genuinely important to me and many people I’m close to

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1uplzut/please_read_as_this_is_very_important_and/

Link to the original post because I couldn’t figure out how to work the normal repost thing :/

idk if I’m late making this post but Sofia hit 1M monthly listeners on Spotify!! I’m so happy for her she deserves every single one <3333

I like Redbull because my caffeine tolerance isn’t super high and the little 8 oz ones are the perfect amount of caffeine for me

i wanna find some good flavors because I tried the original and respectfully it tasted like Coca Cola with liquid DayQuil in it sooo uhhh not good

but yea, flavor recommendations are appreciated, preferably fruity ones but I’ll drink most things so it could be anything other than original lmao