I can't force myself to work.
Hello people. I hope you're okay.
I'm feeling pretty much pathetic writing this, but I seriously don't know how to force myself to work.
I love my life, I have a nice department, I have family and friends that I love and care about and they care about me too and I do things that I enjoy like working out, playing guitar and I recently started to learn coding.
But... I can't force myself to get a fucking work. The very idea of having to work makes me feel so fucking tired and heavy and lazy and depressed and I can't fight it. I send CVs and shit internally hoping not getting anything, and I'm feeling fucking bad and guilty about it.
So I come for advice about how can I force myself to get my shit together about it and not wanting to fucking die while having to work, because I find no joy in it at all, time passes me fucking slowly and my mood is so bad when I'm at it. I have no ambitions in that aspect, I just want to be relaxed doing what I love, I don't want money nor reputation nor growing in a job, I just want to have time for me and my passions, but I have to do this and I don't know how, seriously I don't.
I'm pretty much unhappy when I'm having work... And I feel so damn pathetic about this and about myself for this specific shit.
Thank you for reading this.