Husband relies on me 100% financially and I’m feeling resentful
Salam,
My husband has completely relied on me financially for over 2 years now. We do not live together and the short period we did live together I paid for everything. He was financially independent before we married but there is a war in our home country where he used to work. He has fled to a different country while we work on getting him a visa to the US (where I am) and he is currently not able to work/get any income in the country he is in.
I am trying to be patient but there is no end in sight. I do not feel like a wife, he has never taken care of me financially or given me gifts. I know he cannot help the current circumstances but it’s hard to not feel resentful about taking care of someone for so long who has never taken care of me. I am not able to build any savings or do fun activities with my family and friends like I did before marriage.
I am very frustrated and have no one to talk to about it. I can’t talk to him because he is already ashamed and embarrassed about the situation. His family thinks he is working and I occasionally send him money to send to them. I can’t talk to my family and friends about the burden I feel because I am embarrassed about feeling this way. I know this is the path Allah has put me on and that finances are not everything but I was in good financial standing when we married but am now in a hole. It’s hard not to look at him as the cause of it. I know this is not a good way to think and that Allah is the sole provider but I can’t help feeling this way. I can ignore these feelings for a few months because he is generally a nice, respectful, and practicing man but they always come back.
I don’t know what I am looking for by posting this, I just wanted to get it out of my head. If any women have been in a similar situation I would really appreciate hearing from you. Thank you.