r/DepressionBuddies

The feeling of not belonging anywhere is a vastly universal human experience. Everybody has felt it at least once in their lives, but some people feel it all their lives and more deeply. The stereotype is an overthinking introvert who has niche interests and is pretty shy around other people. But there is a difference between social anxiety and feeling like you don't belong. You can be extroverted to the maximum and still feel alone among people.

We have evolved to live in groups of 20 apes in a small tribe. We didn't evolve to live in cities which contain millions. The feeling of not belonging is the feeling of not having a tribe or community. A sense of camaraderie and family. It's not about how much you have in common with people. In my experience, I have been best friends with people who are vastly different from me, but we have the same values, like loyalty, love and purpose.

You don't feel like you belong because...well, you don't belong among those people. It's no crazy mystery. The more you know yourself, the more you know what people you want to have around. They have to share your values and care about your well-being. That annoying feeling of not belonging anywhere is trying to protect you from depleting your energy somewhere where it's not appreciated. It's up to you if you listen to it or not. And it's up to you if you do something about it...or just complain about how alone you feel.

Find your tribe. Find your people. "It's hard", you say. Well, of course, if it were easy...you wouldn't be reading this post.

I am on 13th day of cipralex and anxiety is through the roof . I wake up 5am with tremor and crazy anxiety . And only Xanax brings it down . During day is hard … I can’t concentrate , can’t make any work and I want to lay down . But if I fall asleep anxiety comes . My depression is based on my marriage problems . So as soon as I wake up I feel that my life is nightmare.

Any advices when can I expect symptoms get better ? And how to live meanwhile ? Don’t want to leave the house or do anything

Hiya there...I am a mother of a 22yo that just graduated college and they is in a major funk. This kid THRIVED in college-graduated near the top of their class, took Japanese 'for fun', really peaking. They have never really had friends-social skills are tricky for them. They are working a p/t job, not in their field. Immediately after graduation-they started sleeping all the time, not leaving the house, really struggling (mind you, these behaviors are normal for them in the summer-no structure is super hard for them.) Now we are a month into graduation, they have put their resume out there (no bites) and they are stuck. Still going to the gym/martial arts classes-but other wise sleeping a ton and not doing anything else. I encouraged them to go to a therapist, which they did and are seeing regularly- but what else can I do? They don't want to talk to me (sometimes they do, when they think I may be helpful) and I keep reaching out to them...I encouraged them to join the gym (which they did) and to get dressed and shower/eat every day but I'm at a loss. I'm trying baby steps. I don't know how to help my kid. Any advice? I know the world seems so bleak right now, I get how they feel, but I want to help. Thanks for your thoughts.

Yeah, I should also include that if you're also just sad, depressed, needing a 🛟 and a night🦉 then just send me a mess. No low effort mess will be accepted and I'm not looking for friends/flings as well.

No comments on my post, I don't respond to low effort posts, posts that don't include your interest and hobbies because I will not do that for you alongside with I'd understand why Redditors hide behind a main pro anyways.  

However, I should also let the Redditors know before reading this if you don't know what dryer than a Ash Yam is then you've not played Skyrim yet and no you don't have to be a heavy video gamer to message me anyways. 

This also here of it all will waste your time, if you're someone that loves monologue convos, not interested in threading the 🪡 

(This is a Sleep Token pun and if you don't know what Sleep Token is then my Dawnstar museum profile can guide you anyways.)

Yeah, I should also address this also means that I'm just  the type of person that enjoys when our convos continue-over till the next day and when I wake up I will be instantly looking for your reply back as well. (after a few moments, my eyes have adjusted to the living once again anyways.)

However, I should include that I'd gather from past experiences SOME people don't find this ''cute, but I think this is cute.'' 

Even then if you don't find this cute then that's fine because I'll keep threading the 🪡 because the night belongs to me until someone special enters my digital realm, offering me a blacklist paradise and diamonds in the trees my love.

I'd enjoy earrings on guys, the same way with if a guy is enjoy history, reading a book, gardening, baking, walks in nature, picking up mushroom or other earthy things, or artsy, crafty, loves knitting then you can geek out all you want doing that and you don't need to ''hide.'' because your interest and hobbies are kool anyways.

While I don't partake in those, I'd enjoy listening to people's hobbies and interest that some others might find ''well I'm going to go to sleep now, those interest and hobbies aren't kool enough.'' 

However, if you're into witty, funny, funny comebacks and banter then you should send me a chat req as well.

My personality type if this fits what you're looking for.

Airy, funny, sassy, no-filters, understand that I've separation anxiety, understand that I'm autistic and I might need you to clarify things because I'd take things to a literal poinT or I might miss a joke you're making.

My type of vibes are friendly sfw cheek/sassy, I might get mystified if you say something that is an 🩶 quality in a friendly-mannerism and tell you ''oh you could sound like a future 💚 of mine.''

However, I should also include that I think this app is terrible for messaging and all convos will be going to Dis as well. 

How can I create a high quality chat req that you will accept?

Here are some helpful tips to create your mixer.

Read something you've not yet on my profile. 

Sleep Token pun.

Old-skool video game pun.

What video game character would I be based on how I type my post or what Kingdom Hearts character would I be passed on how I type my post?

If you love to cook or bake what would you make me on my journey to Dagon's docks.

If you were to fix me a food in Skyrim based on my pro-summary what would that be?

If I was/were a drink because you work at a bartender, what would you serve me at Devil's Reef Pub 🪸

If you were to offer Dagon something in a bucket? Could you include that in emojis?

Don't enjoy these mixer ideas? 

Then create your own high quality ver 🐋

However, I should address that I'm also looking for Redditors that are interested in helping me create a small-private-Dis-ser for Redditors that are looking for a safety net because times are dark, times are getting dark enough where there are starting to become cosmic horror noises and I need some mods-that would love to help out with keeping this place toxic free anyways..

Yeah, I should address that it would be cool if the mods-could allow mild cosmic horrors but not to the poinT where things make you feel like this and this is my favorite second band besides Sleep Token is I See Stars, I will die on this hill but Treehouse is their best album and The Wheel has a few songs that make me feel crying alone in Dagon's docks because I don't have that ''special someone.'' that cares with realness that the person enjoys me having them in their life or reassures me.

Yeah, missing those text mess is really depressing to be honest of it all.

The wheel keeps turning ’round until we’re just the way they want us 🎶🎶 Feels so much like flying when free falling to the bottom 🎶 No mesh net to land easily 🆘🚨🛟 Hold your breath, it won’t be long, it won’t be long 🎤

Even then, I should also include that the lyrics are just sadder at the end of it all as well.

I'm on my way out. My time is running out. So let me leave, yeah. When the lights go out, and the curtains drawn. And the letters come down from the marquee. Will you ever love. Will you ever love me?

I am 36 and I was using alcohol to cope with my anxiety since very early age . Was not feeling as it was a problem . It was always wine . Eventually it became every day evening routine . But still I enjoyed it and never saw it as a problem . I mean I was always checking my health , never blackouts etc . Max I reached at some point is bottle of wine per day . But I slept well and functioning very well !

2 years ago I had a severe marriage crisis and burnout with my project , so I did start to drink more .

Eventually I couldn’t cope as my marriage problem was not resolved and work wise I couldn’t figure what to do next . Still can’t figure out what to do with both .

Eventually I went down severe depression over these two years which now reached the lowest point . I literally don’t want to live and my only reason to live is my son .

So I started antidepressants Cipralex , and I am just 10 days in and feeling like shit. I don’t sleep well, I wake up with tremor and panic , and most importantly- I am completely dysfunctional. Days go forever, I can’t push myself to do anything .

And on top of that I really want to drink ! Which I shouldn’t. But I do .

So my question is how to deal with all that shit ? How to not to lose hope that medicine will work as it’s very hard first weeks ? And of course how to stop drinking ?
I don’t drink much
But it’s the only thing that takes edge off from all the thinking

Twice in my life I experienced withdrawal because of my lover’s severe depression. It was hard for me to not perceive it as an excuse to end the relationship/dating stage in an amicable manner. But I wonder - maybe I am wrong.

Could you please tell me more about your experience if you or your partner struggle with depression?

What a wonderful feeling is uselessness. It strips us of the last bit of decency we have for ourselves. It speaks to the highest form of ourselves - consciousness - the thing which tells us we do something right or wrong. When we feel useless, we know we ought to do more, we need to try harder, and we need to find meaning in our lives.

Working in a dead-end job? Working just for money with no positive effect on others? Not working at all? Blindly going from job to job, from hobby to hobby, from inspiration to inspiration. And in the end...there's nothing worth a f*ck around you. It's funny how we know we should do more meaningful things, yet get stuck in comfort. It's funny how feeling useless is accompanied by its best friend - feeling lost.

"Pick the heaviest load you can carry" is Peterson's advice, and I think it is a good one. He says meaning is found in responsibility, but you can be responsible for a whole marketing department for washing machines, and I don't think you will find much meaning there.

Help people. That's my advice for feeling useless. You might still feel useless even when you help thousands or millions, but that's the nice thing about feelings...reality doesn't care how you feel, it cares what you do.

I’m feeling so down and scared and alone. I was diagnosed with fnd in March. I probably also have some dysautonomia. I’ve been trying to get better but I feel unwell 24/7 and feel like no one understands. (I have a movement disorder and some dizziness). I’ve been trying many things to get better (and I did have some improvement in May but have plateaued since). I don’t know what else to do and am afraid I’ll be like this forever. I’ve also had treatment resistant depression for 20+ years and worsening anxiety for the past 4 years (since I turned 50 and got COVID for the first time). I’ve been trying to keep up my part time job while I do a ton of appointments and occasionally make myself do things I used to enjoy. But I’m just feeling so down and hopeless. Thanks for letting me vent. I’m open to any and all suggestions. Thank you in advance.

I don’t really know where to start, but I feel like something has been wrong with me for a long time.
Every single day feels exactly the same It doesn’t matter if I go to the gym go for a run train MMA hang out with people or stay home doing nothing. I still end up feeling the exact same inside. It’s like nothing has any lasting effect on me
People always say go to the gym exercise, go outside, find hobbies and I’ve done all of that. I train consistently and try to take care of myself physically, but mentally I feel like I’m standing in the same place every day.
I used to be a heavy drinker and smoked weed a lot. I honestly thought getting sober would fix the way I felt. I quit both and while I’m happy I did the feeling never went away. If anything I realized the alcohol and weed were probably just distracting me from whatever was already there
I’ve been through some difficult things in my life. My brother died by suicide a couple of years ago, but I honestly don’t know if that’s why I feel this way I don’t spend every day grieving or thinking about it which is part of why I’m so confused. I can’t point to one event and say, This is the reason.
I also feel like nobody really understands me. Not my friends and honestly not even my girlfriend it’s not that they don’t care I know they do I just don’t think anyone understands what goes on in my head the problem is I don’t even know how to explain it. Every time I try, I either can’t find the words or I end up saying Never mind.
I’ve been asking myself if I’m depressed, emotionally numb burnt out or if I’m just overthinking everything. Then I wonder if maybe there’s actually something wrong with me I honestly don’t know anymore.
The weird thing is that I still function I wake up train, go through my day, talk to people, and do what I’m supposed to do From the outside I probably seem completely normal but inside everything feels flat I don’t really get excited about anything anymore. I’m not always sad I just feel like I’m existing instead of actually living.
I’m not suicidal, and I don’t want to hurt myself. I’m posting this because I genuinely want to know if anyone else has felt like this. If you have, what did it turn out to be? Depression? Burnout? Something else? And what actually helped?
I just want to understand what’s happening to me because I’m tired of feeling like every day is a copy of the last.

Hello I am a 23 year old female who aged out of foster care. I was removed from my mom when I was 8 and then sent to my step grandmas house until I was 12. From there I lived my best friends family for about 3 years who became my family. I kept getting in trouble at school so I went back to foster care and they would pick me up for visitation sometimes. When I became 18 I reconnected with everybody. I had a baby and gave my best friends mom my baby’s middle name because she was my mom in my mind. They always tell me that I’m a sister, cousin, child, aunt, granddaughter to everybody but I would be lieing if I said there was not problems. For starters, nobody talks to me unless I talk to them. Me and my daughter will call and call and call nobody will pick up the phone and if they do they don’t wanna hang. We were in a family gc and life 360 circle. And sometimes I’ll look and they’ll all be somewhere together and will text the gc and say he what’s going on? There is no pictures of me and daughter anywhere in their homes but they are all over mine. Comments will come accidentally like my mom will be like “ I have this many kids for a reason lol” and the number like won’t include me and then she’ll look apologetic. Well Fourth of July came my mom and I were on FaceTime she mentioned they were possibly getting a boat and would let me know if anything was set in stone. Well come that day my sisters bf calls my bf to invite him on the boat and then I realize everybody even my grandma and my nephew are out there and they didn’t include me and my daughter yet my bf was included. This obviously hurt my feelings so I expressed that and my texting mom mom and telling her like hey I didn’t know it was a plan like why wasn’t I told by anybody? And she got mad at me and hasn’t talked to me I’ve been basically stone walled because of it. She tells me there is nothing to talk about and I’m insecure for feeling the way I do. So I’ve tried to talk to her my daughter asks for her but she is not budging. My sister of course took her side and basically said I’m wrong for feeling some type of way. Well fast forward to last weekend I text my grandpa and ask what his plans were for Father’s Day. He tells me there are all going on a boat. My brother had gotten a rental. I saw my sister and asked her and she was like yeah we were all excited especially my daughter to see everybody and go on a boat. I tucked my daughter in that night telling her I was getting our throngs ready for the boat. At like 12 at night I get a text from my sister that there is no room for us actually the spots are filled. I opened social media the next day and say the entire family plus friends on the boat. My daughter was upset and so was I of course. I left the gc and life 360 circle. I had to remind myself that I wasn’t really included in the plans in the first place had I not asked I would have just woken up and saw them all at the water again without me. The next day my sister texted me I could tell she was like feeling me out to see if I was upset she asked if we could get together when I got off so the park. Then she flaked and said she couldn’t go. I texted my mom because my daughter asks for her a lot I asked if she wanted to talk to her and no response. I guess it’s just a hard reality that I need to face. I use to question if I was insecure or overly sensitive but I really don’t think I am. I’m very hurt. I don’t think they ever loved me and my child the same way we loved them. I feel like a loser with low self esteem as well. I don’t understand why they would string us along because of course there good times too but if they looked at me like maybe a family friend why wouldn’t they tell me that? I loved them all so deeply and ofc my daughter asks for them daily she’ll ft them on her iPad and they never answer her. I’m also pregnant and delivery in October before all this happened they have a cruise booked and planned for boarding on my exact due date. It hurts so bad and it’s so lonely I don’t have any other family besides my kids and my bf who I love them all to death but I feel just very heartbroken and I feel punished for my speaking on my emotions for the first time. Has anybody else gone thru this?

For context I am a 11th grader from Bangladesh, my dad recently passed away causing me to have to move away from South Africa to now Bangladesh and my mother is working insanely hard for me and my brother to succeed. Luckily, my brother has been able to succeed by studying in Malaysia with full scholarship. But that lives me; the failure. I like to begin every year with a set of goals that I try to complete, I never wish to be able to achieve all of those goals but I try my best to complete as many as possible and most years, it ends really well. But this year has just been horrendous, I began the year by applying to my dream college for Grade 11-12 (UWC) and got rejected, I didn't really care that much since I knew it was quite a long shot. Then I has school club election which was the only thing that I truly kind of succeeded in this year being able to win president of math club and chess club (For context these are the main extra curriculums I do), I really like math and frequently participate in Olympiads in schools being top 3 most of the times but those don't matter much during university applications. My next goal was to be able to win the BDMO by at least reaching top 3 in Bangladesh, I was able to make it Top in Dhaka but failed in Nationals round making me even more depressed, then I played Nationals in chess and Failed that too losing 120 elo in 1 tournament (for non chess players, its a insanely bad performance in chess), Next in April i had to give my O levels, I aimed to get at least 1 distinction or 100% in one of the exams like my brother however it felt like I froze during the exams and made minor silly mistakes causing me to lose that hope too. Then, there is elections for the School Student council which was my last hope for this year and that election results came out today, and guess what? I lost. This was my first ever time I lost in a school election which means I am losing my popularity in school as well. Now I feel extremely depressed because I don't really have anything else to do this year and managed to fail literally in everything I did, I usually talked to my dad about things like this but now I don't even have that, and my mom is just like any other Asian mom that doesn't understand these things and my brother is almost always busy with his university so unable to talk to him too. Someone please help me cause I genuinely don't feel like doing anything and sometimes get suicidal thoughts too

I’ll try to make it short. Me (24F) amd my boyfriend (24M) have been together for about 7 months.
He always told me that he struggled in the past with depression and that he disappears from time to time, he doesn’t give any explanation to his friends because they already know he does this but he wanted to explain it to me so that I’m aware. So far this hasn’t been an issue, but for the past week he hasn’t replied to any of my texts, videos I sent, etc. I have seen him post storys with some friends but that’s all.
Has this happened to anyone before? Im not sure what to do because I want to be there for him but he’s not replying, and I’m left feeling like he is in a bad state but he’s also hanging out with friends.
We did talk and he told me that his finding it difficult to connect with everyone, that is a bit easier with his friends because it’s a different relationship. I get that so I don’t want to be insistent that we see each other.
Is this common? For people to push partners away but no si much their friends?
I also want to send him a message saying that if he needs anything he can tell me and I’ll be there for him but I’m not sure if that would be something positive or not.
All advice/recommendation or comments are welcome 🫶🏻