r/GenXKarens

Link to original: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/Ax0jKR4HA5

Well, I’m back with an update. I had high hopes that my MIL would be open to having a conversation and listening to our concerns, but as many commenters predicted, that didn’t happen.

She called my husband before we were able to speak with her and asked if everything was okay since she hadn’t seen us in a week. He told her things were okay, but that we did need to get together to talk about the pool safety concerns. She immediately became defensive and said the kids were completely fine in the pool.

After that, she essentially ghosted us while we were trying to reach out and arrange a time to talk. I think that gave her time to talk to her friend and her friend’s daughter and become even more defensive, because she brought up in her texts that “all adults watch” the kids, even though we hadn’t mentioned them at all.

She eventually sent us these texts: https://imgur.com/a/mil-upset-that-we-are-not-okay-with-her-leaving-3-5-year-old-above-ground-pool-with-no-adult-arm-floaties-aht1lf6

My husband has now said that if his mom is unwilling to have an important conversation with us about our kids’ safety, then she doesn’t need to see them. He’s upset, but not surprised by how she has responded.

I’m honestly just really sad. I know we are doing what we need to do as their parents, but the kids absolutely love their grandma. Aside from this situation, she has been a really good grandma to them, and they have a close relationship.

I never wanted this to turn into a situation where their relationship was affected. I just wanted her to be willing to sit down, listen to our concerns, and have a conversation with us.

At this point, we’re not going to chase her or argue over text. If she’s willing to have a respectful conversation, we’re still open to it. But until then, the kids won’t be going to her house without one of us present.

It’s just really sad that it’s come to this. So at this point, this is the final update.