r/Gentleman

So, I like to think I’m fairly well mannered, I never shake someone’s hand sitting down, always serve myself last, the “basics” as I perceive them, but this is one I’ve always wondered;

Those who do, how do you manage it in a modern setting?

On a date it seems fairly easy to manage as you’re only dealing with one person, however in a casual setting at someone’s house, taking place across different rooms, it feels like I’d be constantly up and down like a Westlife tribute act 😂

It’s something I really like the idea of, but wonder if it’s seen as culturally outdated, or seen as very performative if done too much.

Are you electing to only using it in a more formal setting? I’m genuinely curious as to how a modern gentleman navigates this.

 

People do not rise to the level of their goals, they fall to the level of their systems. Habits in your life are the actual systems. If you fix your habits, you fix your life. These habits will improve your discipline, your mindset, your success, your productivity, your health, your focus, your drive, and your identity. Some of these habits take just a few seconds.

 

1.       Make your bed every single morning.

 

2.       Wake up at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every night

 

3.       Take a cold shower every day.

 

4.       Do the most difficult task first. That applies to everything.

 

5.       Adhere to the 2 minute rule. If a task takes 2 minutes or less do it immediately.

 

6.       Finish what you start. Things pile up, that might not seem to be much but over time that will take a toll on you.

 

7.       Keep promises to yourself. They matter more than promises to others.

 

8.       Set a daily non-negotiable task.

 

9.       Rise the second you wake up every day.

 

10.   Track your habits. Track every single thing.

 

11.   Plan tomorrow the night before. Write down 3 things you will do the next day.

 

12.   Set deadlines for yourself. This will get rid of procrastination.

 

13.   Practice delayed gratification. Never reward yourself before doing actual work. Always earn vices.

 

14.   Work even when you don't feel motivated.

 

15.   Reduce decision fatigue. Don’t think and act the same time. First plan and take action.

 

16.   Keep your environment clean. Your environment is a reflection of your internal mental state.

 

17.   Avoid unnecessary excuses. Take responsibility for everything in your life.

 

18.   Show up consistently. Consistency is key.

 

19.   Do 1 uncomfortable daily. This retires your reward system making everything else easier.

 

20.   Focus on discipline over motivation. Motivation fades but discipline lasts forever.

 

21.   Read every day. You are absorbing experience, knowledge, and skills.

 

22.   Refrain failure as lessons.

 

23.   Ask better questions. Ask more questions.

 

24.   Practice gratitude. Identity all the things you grateful for.

 

25.   Take responsibility for everything in your life. When you take responsibility, you control your life.

 

26.   Never compare yourself to others. Comparison steals joy.

 

27.   Focus on progress not perfection.

 

28.   Never stop learning. Learn something every week.

 

29.   Always think long term. Short term thinking will create anxiety which will spike cortisol. Instead always long-term. Widen your time horizon. Success is built in long periods of time

 

30.   Seek feedback, always seek feedback from anybody. You can learn from examples and other people.

 

31.   Get rid of negative ideas. Positive ideas are always going to win. Negative ideas result in self-doubt, anxiety, and overthinking.

 

32.   Celebrate small wins. Surround yourself with people that do that. Make it a habit to celebrate wins no what it is.

 

33.   Adopt the beginner’s mindset. This will make you learn.

 

34.   Always be curious. This will create opportunities.

 

35.   Learn from people better than you. Always keep learning because that creates success.

 

36.   Replace complaints with solutions.

 

37.   Journal your ideas.

 

38.   Reflect before reacting.

 

39.   Practice optimism. Always be optimistic.

 

40.   Become a lifelong student. This will make you better every day.

 

41.   Vote for the person you want to become. Every action you take is a vote for the person you’re becoming.

 

42.   Act like your future self.

 

43.   Keep your word.

 

44.   Dress with intention.

 

45.   Always speak positive about yourself.

 

46.   Build confidence with action.

 

47.   Determine your personal values.

 

48.   Protect your reputation. That means never acting publicly or securely against your moral values.

 

49.   Be somebody who finishes things.

 

50.   Keep your standards high.

 

51.   Say no more often. This is self-respect.

 

52.   Develop self-awareness.

 

53.   Don the right thing even is nobody is watching.

 

54.   Focus on becoming not having. Live simply, don't focus on materials focus on your physical self.

 

55.   Build an identity around growth, focus, and deep work.

 

56.   Silence unnecessary notifications.

 

57.   Time block your day.

 

58.   Work in focus sprints.

 

59.   Never multitask, do one task at a time.

 

60.   Keep your phone out of reach.

 

61.   Create a distraction free workspace.

 

62.   Prioritize your top 3 tasks.

 

63.   Schedule deep work sessions.

 

64.   Avoid context switching.

 

65.   Set clear goals and intentions before working.

 

66.   Use screen time blockers.

 

67.   Take intentional intermission.

 

68.   Protect your peak energy hours.

 

69.   Finish important work before entertainment.

 

70.   Review your priorities daily.

 

71.   Plan your week.

 

72.   Use a calendar.

 

73.   Audit your screen time. Screen time is a distraction.

 

74.   Batch similar tasks. There is shallow work and deep work. Shallow work is administered tasks, unimportant tasks that aren't significant. Deep work is important, crucial work. Batch those things together and do them at once.

 

75.   Adhere the 80/20 principal. Eighty percent of the results you get are going to come from 20% of the actions you take. Twenty percent of the results you get will come from 80% of the actions you take. This means most actions are not as important as you consider them to be.

 

76.   Set deadlines for tasks.

 

77.   Arrive early in every single thing.

 

78.   Never procrastinate small tasks.

 

79.   Create a morning routine. When you win the morning you win your entire life.

 

80.   Create an evening routine.

 

81.   Schedule recovery time for your mind and your body.

 

82.   Measure where your time goes.

 

83.   Walk at least 3 miles every day.

 

84.   Strength train every day. Do pushups, sit-ups, squats and other things every day.

 

85.   Prioritize sleep, get 7 or 8 hours of sleep every night.

 

86.   Drink enough water every day. Never drink tap water. Drink filtered or bottled water.

 

87.   Eat protein with every meal.

 

88.   Get morning sunlight. This is the best way to start your day.

 

89.   Stretch every day.

 

90.   Always have acceptable posture and body language.

 

91.   Avoid ultra-processed foods.

 

92.   Take movement intermissions after sitting for a large amount of time.

 

93.   Always breath properly.

 

94.   Avoid harmful sugar. White sugar is harmful, consume cane sugar and other natural sugars.

 

95.   Exercise every single day the right way.

 

96.   Invest in yourself, invest in your physical, mental, emotional, and financial well-being.

 

97.   Always save a percentage of your income.

 

98.   Network internationally. Your network is your net worth.

 

99.   Review your goals every single month.

 

100.                       Teach others what you have learned.

 

101.                       Get 1% better every day.

 

102.                       Never lend anybody money at any time for any reason.

 

103.                       Always remember if thing sounds too good to be true it is.

 

104.                       Always care for relatives.

 

105.                       Move on from the mistakes of the past, learn from them, and become a better person.