r/HeartBrokenSouls

I think I’ll always remember you
as the person I almost had.
And I hate the word almost*,*
because it means there was a chance.
There was a version of this
where maybe we could’ve been something.
I just didn’t know it then.
I didn’t know there was a right time
to tell you.
I didn’t know that while I was
trying to understand what I felt,
time was already making the decision for us.
And then you told me
I should’ve said something sooner.
I don’t think you’ll ever know
how much that hurt.
Because somehow,
“I never wanted you”
would’ve been easier.
I could’ve cried,
accepted it,
and eventually let you go.
But sooner?
Sooner means maybe.
Sooner means there was a moment
when you might’ve wanted me too.
And I missed it.
Sometimes I catch myself
trying to find that moment in my memories.
Wondering where it was.
What day??
What conversation??
What look I misunderstood.
Wondering if there was a version of me
who could’ve just been a little braver
and changed everything.
But I can’t keep living there.
I can’t keep going backward
looking for a door
that isn’t open anymore.
I’m trying to accept
that I felt enamored by something
that never really got the chance
to become anything.
And maybe healing
isn’t convincing myself
that you didn’t matter.
You did.
You probably always will,
in some small way.
I’ll remember the little things.
I’ll remember how it felt
before I knew I would have to let it go.
And I think, years from now,
when your name doesn’t hurt anymore,
a part of me will still wonder.
Not because I’m waiting for you.
Just because once,
somewhere between maybe and too late*,*
there was almost an us.
And I think I’ll always
be a little sad
that we never got to meet them.

There are two many letters in the alphabet but I am sure that person name was there - For all of those who gave that special someone their all and never received the gratitude or friendship or respect that they deserved - Here is the letter that you never received - You are wonderful and amazing and loving and kind and beautiful and handsome and thank you for being you! - The right person will find you one day and you will have that relationship that you so deserve - Don't cry over X because they treated you like crap - Don't give them a second more of your energy or time - You deserve the best and only the best - For all those broken hearts - At least now you know what you don't want anymore in your life - Cry today but move on tomorrow - It's okay not to be okay - but don't stay there - Because you're awesome - And I am telling you that - You are amazing! Sending all the broken hearts - the love they deserve - HUGS!!!!

I just found this sub because it feels like my heart has been ripped from my chest.

For context I (54M) have been talking to this woman (44F) that I met here on Reddit for several months. We started off here in Reddit chat and stayed there for a couple of months and then moved to Signal. Our convos have been heavily sexually charged from the very beginning. Sexting, sending sex gif's that we both found on Reddit and also just talking about life in general and then we progressed to phone calls. Again, very sexual in nature both leaning into our kinks. Both of us said several times how we wish we live closer to each other so we could meet up IRL.

But then last night happened, she has gone to a lake for the week with her family and some friends/co-workers and they were having a good time enjoying being in & around the water and generally loving being outdoors. They started drinking and smoking and the more she drank and smoked the hornier she got. She made the comment about one of her coworkers staring at her while we were chatting, and I was asking her to secretly play with herself without letting anyone know. She said that she was wearing a tank top and spandex short shorts but no underwear or bra. She was very into the whole thing and was extremely aroused. The coworker came over bringing a plate of food and a drink and whispered that he could smell her and see how excited she was. He reached out and touched her thigh and brushed her nipple with his hand.

Later on she asked me to talk to her throughout an orgasm while the coworker fingered her. I emphatically asked her not to do this and I explained that I had been cheated on before and how much it hurt me. She said that I was comparing this situation to that and it wasn't the same. Even though we have never discussed "what" it is that we have going on, I did tell her that I thought that I had fallen for her and this would be cheating IMO. She said they were fixing to watch a movie and that then coworker was going to get her a blanket. I asked her again, please don't do this.

She said that she was going to watch the movie and we would talk later on today. This all happened late last night/early morning today. I haven't heard from her so far and my heart feels like it's been stomped on.

Anyway sorry for the long post and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Only know you love her when you let her go.

And you let her go. 💔😞