r/Multipotentialite

I have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to try everything: travel, fashion, corporate, influencing, let my creativity become a lifestyle, law, tech, all of it; and not just try it, but do it all successfully so I get a taste of what it's actually like to live in each of those worlds. I want to live all these different lifestyles fully fleshed out. And on top of that, I feel like time is running out to actually do it, like every year that passes is a door closing on something I still haven't touched.

Even when I do want to go for something, there are doors in the way in a different sense too. For example, I still haven't landed an internship, and it's not for lack of trying, it feels like it just isn't easy to break in with and my qualifications just aren't enough. So the wanting is there, but even attempting one thing feels blocked, let alone all of them.

What I really want is a way to stop feeling like I have to choose between trying everything and picking one stable path. I don't want to look back and feel like I dropped every interest except one just to be "practical." I want my curiosity to actually have room to breathe inside whatever life and career I end up building, not something I have to give up entirely. Like, I don't just want to work in healthcare, I want to model too. And it's not just about the interests themselves, it's that when I see other people's lives, whether they're engineers, creative directors, lawyers, whoever, I don't just admire what they do, I want to actually live it, to try on their career and their life for myself. But I feel so overwhelmed by my need to do it all that I don't even know where to start. Everything just feels so hard to break into that even if I want to go for it, and even if I actually try, it feels like it just won't happen in my lifetime, at least not how I want it. It also makes me incredibly indecisive.

How do you deal with this feeling that I need to do everything life offers in such a limited amount of time, and how do you actually make space for all your interests without spreading yourself so thin that nothing sticks? How do I deal with these feelings in a way where it doesn't make me indecisive about what I want to do for my future?

I want to ask the question:

“TL;DR I failed so many times, that I now hate everything. What’s next when you hate everything you loved?

I was a jack of all trades, I had friends, video games, and sports, girlfriends(& the issues that arise with dating and growing up). I never did anything with any of them worth mentioning.

I focused too much on one thing, then failed and jumped to another… at one point one of my multi-year wastes of time was trying to combine all I know and do something giant, myself.

I failed again, obviously

because you don’t know me or that project.

I always got to what I would dare to say intermediate or low advanced for each skill, but I seem to never complete anything that is worth value to anyone besides myself or create anything that brings people together that’s worth a revamp to make worth value (not just monetary value, emotional value… for others than me, because I understand my emotional value mostly stems from time spent and sacrifices made to bring the project to where it is now).

I have probably had a few “really great” ideas over the years, but I cannot decide between starting again or improving anymore, and now in my 30s (MALE, USA) I just feel lost between preserving the past and building something completely new and leaving those ideas and memories forever behind.

Maybe because in my eyes it’s taken me 20 years to get any sort of project to where it is now alone, and I still am nothing more important than a fan-fic on tumblr.

How do you?