Hey I'm stuck with my toxic brother and it's affecting my faith
Salam,
So basically, I have a very narcissistic, toxic older brother. He is extremely controlling to the point where if I stir my coffee too many times or wash my hands too loudly, he will shout at me and even force me to stop. This shocks my nervous system. Imagine living in fear of someone twice your size. I'm a grown-up woman and he will take my phone or laptop off me over the tiniest disagreements for example, last time I told him not to call my mum fat (she's a healthy weight and on a strict diet to the point of under-eating) and his reaction was an angry 'GET OUT THE HOUSE!!' and another time there was a similar incident like this where I didn't do anything wrong but for some reason he was angry again and told me that if I don't get out the house (it was night time and the sky was black) then he won't give me my phone back.
Another thing is we lost our home and got evicted because me and my mum couldn't afford to cover all the bills and rent and he refused to pay his share of the rrent and bills even though he was perfectly capable of donig so. I work part-time and I'm looking for full-time work, trying my hardest. My mum can't work and shouldn't at her age and my narcissistic brother refuses to work even though he's 35. He's NEVER in his lifetime contributed to rent and when I ask him he says stuff like 'Oh you wanna live off my money?' when that's what he's doing to me and my mum the whole time. I want him to stop free-loading and pay his fair share but he's entitled. Right now we're classed as 'homeless' and living in a temporary place and it's tiny. I don't even have my own room.
On top of that, he's sometimes physically abusive too and occasionally harasses me. He's emotionally abusive. He's very argumentative and shouts and screams daily at everyone.
I don't know why Allah hates me so much? I don't know what to do. My dad died over a decade ago. I have no relatives. No connections. my brother makes me want to die. He's a narcissistic bully. I don't understand why Allah doesn't rescue me after literally 1000s of duas for decades? What's going on? I don''t understand. Because God doesn't help me, it's made life feel meaningless to me like I'm alone and Allah doesn't care