r/NewbornSleep

Hi everyone. My baby girl officially turns 9 weeks this week, and I honestly just need to vent and hear from other moms who may have gone through something similar.
The first 5 weeks were incredibly hard for me. I was dealing with postpartum depression while also trying to navigate becoming a first-time mom. To be completely honest, I barely remember that first month because I spent most of it crying nonstop and just trying to survive each day.
My baby has colic and reflux, and on top of that she only wants to be held. No matter what I try, she refuses to sleep independently. She hates baby wearing too, so most of my day is spent holding her or pushing her in the stroller while constantly rocking it because the second it stops moving, she wakes up screaming.
We even tried baby chiropractic care. The first session seemed to help a little, but after that we didn’t notice much difference.

No matter what I do, she still struggles to sleep on her own. The only small improvement I’ve noticed this week is that after her early morning feeds, she’s sometimes able to put herself back to sleep. She still wakes every 3 hours to feed. There were only about 3 times where she gave me a solid 5-hour stretch, but I haven’t been able to recreate it even after trying all the same things again — extra ounces before bed, formula at night instead of breast milk, etc.
I’m also exclusively pumping, which has added so much to my exhaustion. Since she feeds every 3 hours, I sometimes have to supplement with formula because I physically cannot keep up with the demand. My milk supply came in a few days late, and she ended up refusing to latch. We saw a lactation consultant and tried multiple suggestions, but nothing really worked. Now whenever I offer the breast, she cries almost immediately.
I think the hardest part is feeling like I never truly get a moment to myself. We do get help from our moms, and I’m grateful for it, but most of the help is holding or feeding the baby while I continue doing everything else. I miss simple things like taking a shower without rushing, brushing my hair properly, or just sitting quietly for 10 minutes.
My husband helps as much as he can, but he works 14-hour days and has a long commute, so I told him to sleep in another room because I’m terrified of him falling asleep while driving.
Has anyone gone through something similar with reflux, colic, contact sleeping, or exclusive pumping? Did it eventually get better? I would really appreciate any advice, reassurance, or even just hearing that I’m not alone because lately I feel like I’m slowly losing myself.

Is it better to breastfeed directly or pump and bottle feed?”

Hi all! I am having my first baby in August and am so excited. We have bought a bassinet that we will keep in our room, near our bed, for nighttime sleeping during the first year.

We also have a brand new mattress for the crib in the nursery and a Moses basket that we will use for naps. Figured we would do naps in the Moses basket most of the time in the living room (where we will do most of baby care for first few months) and maybe one or two naps a day in the nursery to get the baby used to being in there.

I know about the guidelines (sleep on back, no blankets/toys/objects, firm surface, etc.). But what about monitoring the baby for naps? From what I've read, I've gleaned that when the baby is sleeping, you are supposed to be in the room with them to make sure they are okay and breathing. Is that true? If so, what month is it safe to leave the room or is that for the whole first year?

What do you do if you put the baby to bed earlier in the evening (7pm or so)? Are you confined to the bedroom for the rest of the evening with them and their early bedtime? Or can we leave the room to do things like dishes, or read or watch a tv show until our normal bedtime (9 or 10)?

Same question for naps: stay in the room/near them or can you leave them to sleep for a bit while you try to get stuff done (I know this doesn't always work as planned haha).

Or what if I need/want to get up a little earlier than they would wake so I can get a cup of coffee in or do yoga or shower? Are you basically confined to the room they are in while sleeping to make sure they are still breathing?

And what about contact naps? I've heard those are important for development, but the baby wouldn't be on its back and lying on you? Doesn't that go against safe sleep guidelines?

Thanks in advance for answers/advice! Please be kind if I am coming across as naive and overthinking this. I'm just so nervous/anxious about SIDS and worried I'm going to do something wrong.

Looking for some advice for my 12 week old (second baby of mine) who just catnaps all day... I can't get him to sleep for longer than 20-40 minutes each nap which results in an overtired, cranky and unpleasant baby to deal with, especially at night. Nights are so difficult right now as from 5pm is when it all goes even more downhill. It is taking a really long time to get him down for the night. My husband and I finally get him to sleep by around 10pm only because he is knocked out by being beyond exhausted. He has been a contact napper baby since about 3 weeks old but finally I've been able to get him to sleep in his bassinet for about 2 weeks now after getting him to sleep in my arms and transfering him but as I said the naps don't last longer than 40 minutes. Daytime naps have always been a struggle since birth though. I have turned to playing white noise in the background, have the room temperature between 18-22 degrees, curtains are closed (not pitch black in the room though), he has a good feed before bed and he is swaddled. 

I am trying to save most naps by getting him back to sleep in my arms or doing a carrier nap but even that's not working most of the time. When he wakes from his nap I am pausing and waiting for a few moments to see if he can get back to sleep but usually he starts fussing and getting upset so that's when I know to step in to help save the nap. To top it off he honestly does a poo 9/10 times just as he has closed his eyes to get to sleep. This doesn't help as I wonder if the poos are preventing him from sleeping longer. I change the poos most of the time but if he just has fallen asleep after a really long time trying to get him to sleep I leave it. I am observing proper wake windows for his age (1 hour-1.5 hours) but he honestly is exhausted by 1 hour being awake as he has red eyebrows, is fussy, staring into the distance etc. 

I feel I am at my wit's end with having a screaming baby every night. It's creating tension and lots of discomfort for our family especially our marriage. My husband and I seem to be fighting everyday now because we are in a state of fustration and anger over having a screaming baby that just won't sleep and settle. We aren't really enjoying having another baby right now. It's especially difficult with having a toddler to also look after. It all seems too much and honestly right now I can't even imagine ever having more kids. Totally get why people are two and done. 

My husband is very hands on and supportive despite our difficulties. He mostly helps with looking after our toddler while I do most of the newborn stuff as I am breastfeeding.

Did anyone go through this and if so have you got any advice and when did your baby start sleeping better throughout the day so that they weren't constantly overtired?

Sincerely, a tired and frustrated mumma.

Edit: okay I should have made the subject: contact napping to solo napping! I know I’m not contact napping too much!!

FTM I don’t mind contact naps at all. I don’t think I’m spoiling my baby or anything, I’m just curious: those of you who had Velcro babies who only contact napped. Did they eventually get to sleeping on their own? I can get mine to sleep in his bassinet for maybe one short nap and 4 hours at night but we mostly contact nap!

My almost 15 week old baby has colic, it started around 3-4 weeks and it’s been extremely brutal as both my husband and I have never heard of colic before. However! we have been trying our best to manage the big scream crying episodes. We use ifacol before and sometimes after feeds she is exclusively breastfed and we also use colic calm. she has definitely gotten better in the last couple of weeks, lots of smiling and chatting. seems to be happy by herself inbetween naps during the day etc. BUT! this past week has been crazy again. Harder to settle, very clingy, more fussy for feeds, lots of gas lots of crying and wakes up during the night really grumpy and loud crying! I don’t mind the no sleep as such it’s just the uncontrollable screaming that sends my nervous system through the roof!

when does the colic really end? she also has to get her immunisations next week and I am terrified!

love to hear all your stories and advice!

My son is 11 weeks old and has only slept 3 hours in our snoo 1 time. he was initially giving us 2-2.5 hour stretches in the snoo and then up about every hour after that but that is not working now. he rejects the snoo almost altogether, sometimes we get 30 minutes, sometimes 50 but that’s rare now. He sleeps good only being held. He does not have signs of reflux, he eats his bottles but does like to snack. He gets plenty of ounces during the day. Naps are primarily contact but we practice going in a crib 2-3 times a day and he can make it anywhere from 10-25 min

I have tried moving up bedtime, establishing a bedtime routine, warming the crib with a heating pad, wearing the crib sheet to smell like me. I watch wake windows and sleepy cues closely.

Out of desperation we are cosleeping safely majority of the night but even then he wakes every hour to 1.5 hours. Sometimes wanting a bottle, but mostly he just wants to be held or will only sleep on my chest. I make sure to pause before intervening to be sure it isn’t active sleep before I pick him up- most of the time he will slowly escalate to crying if I don’t put him back on my chest. sometimes I can get him to sleep and then roll him back to the mattress and let him settle back into sleep-but even then he will be up again soon just to be held/on my chest

overall he is a happy baby, very noise sensitive and has a good startle reflex still. Maybe sleep will improve once that goes away? I don’t see any medical red flags and no spitting up/arching back that would indicate reflux as a culprit

I just purchased the magic sleep suit as a last resort. I go back to work in a few weeks and am concerned about the sustainability of our nights.

is anyone else experiencing this? I am discouraged by my mom friends saying they would have expected him to sleep better by now or that their babies are sleeping 4-6 hours by 10-11 weeks. we have never made it longer than 3 hours in the crib and I have tried everything in my power to help him. I feel that I am failing my baby to identify something he needs?