r/PureOCD

To get the big thing out first, very frequently lately I have become absolutely and utterly convinced that I have committed a crime that I blocked out from my memory or overlooked and that I am on the run and being looked for. The most common of these fears is that I ran someone over and kept going and that there is blood all over my car and that the car behind me surely slowed down because they can’t believe I didn’t stop and they are recording my plate, that when I was backing out of my parking spot I hit the car behind me and left and am actively doing a hit and run, that I somehow messed with the money in the safe at work or left the doors unlocked and they are actively being robbed or I must have accidentally robbed it myself, that I accidentally must have stumbled upon something or messaged something on my phone that has me flagged or on some sort of list somewhere and I just don’t remember, that all of these scam texts and phone calls are legitimate and my license really is about to get suspended or something stupid like I’ve missed a court date and have a fee to pay or else. I could really go on and on and on about these situations that sound so ridiculous but I am in absolute confident fear that I somehow did. I had one (the first) incident, where I was convinced I did a hit a run on accident and tapped a car in a parking lot even though I felt nothing and there was absolutely no damage on either car - so much so I drove 30 minutes back to the parking lot only to see a ton of police cars in a semi adjacent area (… sort of close) and a hit and run marker on the crime website and absolutely spiraled and didn’t sleep for 4 days and apologized to every member of my family because I was convinced they were going to come to their door looking for me because it’s the address on my license. I freaked out my partner, and at my graduate school interview rhe next morning some part of my brain really thought there might be a possibility cops would be waiting for me at the doors. This was months ago and nothing happened, I still get scared about it. Yesterday I went to the movies and was convinced I hit someone and parked like nothing happened and was digging my nails into my palm the whole movie thinking my theater was going to be searched. It feels so suffocating, I’ve tried not getting reassurance by constantly checking but it somehow doesn’t make it better because my brain thinks about all the things that might be there since I didn’t look. I drive back to work in the middle of the night to circle the building because I’m so paranoid I did something wrong and am going to be fired.

I (24F) have noticed a huge shift in how I think and feel and live within the last year. I’ve always had terrible anxiety and it’s been largely joked about my whole life, very shy and antsy and a long bout with an eating disorder in my teenage years, but after a series of reallllyyyy bad events in my life that happened in such a short amount of time (cheated on, being kicked out, new city I didn’t want to move to with no friends no money, forced to go into a leadership role, living alone for the first time) I feel like something in my brain literally shifted. I don’t know if this is something that has been overlooked my whole life and I’ve always had it and this just skyrocketed it to the surface, but it began with basic compulsions like making sure everything is unplugged and the door is locked, then to getting cameras for inside and outside my apartment so I can consistently check if my cats are okay and alive and recheck if I locked the door. Then I started not trusting myself in the videos of me locking my door, as if I somehow am lying about yanking on the door knob multiple times and saying it’s locked directly to the camera, and I would drive all the way back to check again or to go inside and check that everuthing is safe for my cats. I feel so embarrassed talking about this to anyone in my life and I have this insane cloud of guilt and fear following me everywhere and I don’t know what to do about it. I also somehow feel like a fraud. I can’t explain. I’m starting a masters degree soon for mental health counseling and it feels sort of like a comedic joke that I would be in a position like that. Like I mentioned before, I’ve been attempting lately to stop seeking reassurance and checking but it is proving to be very difficult and it’s causing a spike in my fears. Any advice? Has anyone experienced persistent thoughts like these?

I’ve been on about 10+ combinations of meds for chronic ocd, anxiety, and depression. usually my treatment plan is changed and I’m put on a new medication if I get to a point of crisis + end up in the hospital/in some other kind of emergency psych consult, or if my ocd becomes so bad that I stop my meds compulsively and I have to restart from nothing.

I’ve noticed I’m just really depressed lately and struggling lots with ocd and I’m wondering if it’s best to catch it before it escalates to me either stopping my meds or needing emergency interventions. I’m currently on 20mg lexapro, 300mg Wellbutrin, seroquel for sleep, and Ativan as PRN.

I guess I’m having trouble identifying warning sides in the earlier stages of crisis. how do you know that you need to switch meds? what are the warning signs for you that what you’re taking is no longer working?

hello, i am 16/f and i have been diagnosed with OCD two years ago.

when i got my first intensive thoughts, they were horrible images of my younger brothers, this led me to have panic attacks and eventually get hospitalized. now, i knew these were intensive thoughts because these came out of nowhere and frightened me. this all spun into me worrying that i am a pedo. but eventually, one day i just accepted the facts that these thoughts and sensations were unwanted and not apart of me.

eventually i got off of meds, and my ocd is killing me again, but this time, i can’t genuinely tell if this is ocd.

around the ages of 12-14 i was on the ddlg/age play side of twitter and has fucked up fantasies of someone taking advantage of me as a child (this is probably because of what happened to me in my childhood), but i eventually just stayed away from the side and became a better person.

remembering this made me spiral, attempt sewerlajde and get hospitalized. but ever since i’ve been out, i’ve been afraid of going out because i don’t want to see little children, specifically little girls — because i used to fantasize about me being a little girl and being harmed, so everytime i saw them, i got scared and checked if i was attracted.

now, everytime i see a little girl, i go “awwwee cute!” but then i feel like i feel an ‘attraction’ and it scares the hell out of me. i feel like my brain goes on meltdown everytime i see a child in public or online.

is this attraction false attraction or actual attraction?? i’ve never actually been attracted to children :(( someone please help!

For years I struggled with severe OCD and anxiety. I know what it feels like when a spike hits and your whole inner world is on fire. I know the desperate search for an answer that will make it stop. I know how it feels to post in forums at 2am hoping someone will say something that makes the doubt go away and how it never really does.

The advice was always the same. “These are just thoughts. Sit with the anxiety. Do ERP.” And they were right. But I couldn’t believe it in the moment. No matter how much I wanted to.

What I needed wasn’t information. I needed something that could meet me in the chaos, help me understand what was happening, and point me toward the right action without lying to me by making it feel better.

So I built it.

It’s called Withold. It’s a companion for OCD and anxiety spikes. It won’t give you reassurance. It won’t tell you everything is going to be okay. It will sit with you, help you understand what OCD is doing to your brain right now, and orient you toward the only thing that actually works sitting with the uncertainty without performing the compulsion.

The free plan gives you one conversation per day which is honestly enough. You shouldn’t be in there more than once a day anyway. That’s by design.

If you need more, Pro is €7/month.

I built this because I needed it, not to make money. If you’re struggling right now the link is:

withold.vercel.app

Happy to answer any questions.

I’ve had panic attacks since I was 4, at 40 I’m so fed up with them. Some years better than others, but it’s exhausting. It’s always the worst right before my cycle and I also have diagnosed OCD. Today, after 36 years of lying, I admitted to my a primary doctor that I struggle. She ordered me Effexor and hydroxyzine. After researching I’m leaning toward not doing the Effexor and just using hydroxyzine when needed. I just don’t know if daily use is needed for 1-5 attacks a month. Anyone take Effexor? Not take Effexor? Holistic ways that actually helped? I’m at my wits end, but I’m not looking to trade side effects here.

I’ve tried to avoid compulsions. I’ve done scripts, I’ve taken vitamin b and NAC. But the obsessions keep bothering me. Right now, it’s like I know that adhd causes a brain area abnormality that makes decision making harder since people with adhd don’t weigh consequences as well. And I’m afraid that means my boyfriend who has adhd can’t consent because I read on a philosophy site that weighing consequences is required for consent.

I was thinking that’s probably silly, but only probably, it may not be. So there’s a chance, and idk how big the chance, that he can’t agree to sex. So what if I shouldn’t have sex with him just in case I accidentally hurt him?

I know this is ridiculous but it feels so real. Please help, idk what to do.

Ok hello I am 18F and a senior in highschool. So for a while since January 2025 I’ve been suffering from what I feel is POCD. But now I’m just not really sure anymore. Basically back in December 2025 a week before I turned 18 so I was 17, I saw a tik tok edit about old Disney channel childhood crushes and I just wanted to feel normal in the moment so I was just like in my head “yea omgg jack brewer from kickin it.” I found him attractive at 14 when I was a freshman. So basically I just searched up Jack brewer on tik tok and there’s was of course a bunch of edits. Some clips in those edits tho he seemed young like 14/15 so I was afraid of that. But I brushed it off and ignored it but i felt attraction to those clips so I was anxious and went and searched up the age the actor was in those clips and it said 14/15 and I was grossed out like I’m pretty sure I said “oh eww” so I went back to those edits but it still felt like I was attracted to those clips but like i wasn’t taking it serious you know and I kept testing and checking and searching up the age and it still felt like I was attracted to him in those clips he would’ve been 14/15. But like I said for some reason I didn’t take any of this seriously. Like I just told myself something like “it’s just a old Disney channel crush who cares it’s not that big of a deal” and like I had seen people in those comment sections of Jack brewer edits you know who found him attractive when they were younger acting like “yea little me had taste” or just like I guess skimping over him? But to me i was like “well he was their childhood crush so I guess it’s not that big of a deal.” Anyways after that I just didn’t take the attraction seriously so I just clicked off tik tok. I wanted to go with my mom and brothers to their basketball practice so I could be calm and not panic but my brothers didn’t want me to so I stayed home. While at home while about to take a shower I began to panic and reflect on what I’d done earlier about Jack brewer. I panicked and began to cry and started getting mad at myself like “what’s wrong with you” “why didn’t you take it seriously” “Does this mean I am most definitely a pedo and don’t have POCD.” I can’t really remember what happened after but I think I tried calming down by saying “it’s just a Disney channel crush” but at the same time I’m like “that dosent matter it’s a real person.” After all this I went to school and yada yada yada but the more I thought about it it felt like that situation reassured me that all the POCD intrusive thoughts and feelings are fake. It’s so weird like it confirmed to me that I was ok. So after that I felt ok you know because it didn’t feel real. And after a while like a few weeks I went and searched jack brewer tik toks to check and I felt nothing. Like even right now because I just recently went and checked I feel no attraction to those clips of 14/15 year old Jack brewer that I felt or thought I felt to. But now I just feel weird because how can attraction like that just change? Am I pedo? Was I overthinking and that attraction was never real? Please someone help

Is this ocd. I’m so tired.

is it possible for ocd to make you think you like or want the thoughts? i cant stop crying i have completely lost myself.
my brain is trying to convince me i’ve always been in trans denial and it was a matter of time before i found out because i used to hang out with boys and i have boyish humour and i used to pretend to be a boy with my sister as a joke when we were like 6 and 8 what if all of that means something I just saw this video of a little boy playing Fortnite and i don’t know why but i got a little jealous of boyhood for a moment like if i, a girl play fortnite (which i do) most of the time we’re seen as pick mes or just less than boys. plus the female fortnite circles online get a lot of hate and in
my opinion i don’t like it very much either and i’m worried that makes me trans. It’s weird because i’ve never felt any discomfort with my gender until october last year. pfft not even discomfort. the thing is last year i had this fixation in squid game and the biggest character ship was In-ho and Gi-hun. i shipped them too. they got the most attention so my mind went boy x boy = funny and trendy. girl x girl = boring.
so i started picturing myself (as a woman) being the dominant one in a relationship so i could be cool like a boy. and one day i saw this video in october 2025 saying “i’m a girl but i wanna be in a mlm relationship.” i resonated with that. i checked the comments and the top one was “this is how i found out i was trans”.
i got scared so i went onto chatgpt and it gave me all these labels like demigirl although i didn’t feel like a boy i was also quite alternative so everyone in that community was sort of apart of the lgbtqia community too so i just thought ok that’s me. i didn’t feel masculine. i felt alt.
fast forward to november i had a dream i was wearing a suit and tie and that was because i was stressed about the trans thing. that’s what really set it off. now it’s march and it’s worse than ever. today i tested if i liked having a deep voice and i felt dizzy, wanted to cry and anxious. and now i just feel like i am one and it makes me so sad.
i was diagnosed recently and i can’t stop questioning the diagnosis. i’m not asking for any reassurance i just need to vent. and hear opinions.
i’m struggling with tocd and up until recently the thoughts have started to come with false emotions. i get butterflies a lot when i’m anxious and sometimes i get scared that the butterflies are actually me being drawn to the thought. so i just want to summaries my whole experience with this disorder.
so, when i was only 4 years old i had a very strong urge to touch all of the corners in the room. nothing would feel right if i didn’t.
when i was 10 i had to do everything 6 times, had to say “night, night” as my last words, and had to get to the door before the garage closed or i thought i’d die.
when i was 11, i started experiencing what i think was existential ocd. nothing felt real. i constantly asked my mum for reassurance that i’m real. i remember avoiding going out because i felt so dissociated. i was so scared of developing derealisation and depersonalisation and frequently checked in mirrors to see if i recognised myself, and i would also type out the word ‘derealisation’ on a keyboard on my ipad to see if the word came up. if it didn’t come up, i felt okay. but i literally couldn’t watch movies like the matrix because i was terrified.
now fast forward to when i was 12, i feared i was becoming a psychopath. i genuinely worried that i would grow up to be a murderer. i would have frequent intrusive images that would cause distress. i also had pocd around this age. for pocd in particular, i saved many tiktok videos to reassure myself that i wasnt becoming a pedofile. omg i also always thought i had posted something onto social media and always had to check that i did.
now i’m almost 14. yeah, i’m young. but my current theme tocd is really not questioning. i’m going to summarise my experience with it a little bit here.
i use envy men a lot. like i always thought they got more attention, more power and people swooned over them more than women.
i was introduced to a popular fandom at the start of 2025 which i literally loved. the main ship were two straight men. i shipped them. i admired the dynamic.
their ship got the most attention in the show. i of course blamed that on gender.
i got very jealous of the attention and wanted to be in a relationship like that. like i would try and act like one of the characters (i didn’t try to look like him i just wanted to be like him because he seemed cool) and imagined myself being with a boy (me as a girl though) and basically ‘wearing the pants’ in the relationship because the more dominant man in a mlm or even the most dominant person in a straight ship always seem like the coolest. i still imagined myself as a woman like i didn’t want to be in a gay relationship, i wanted to be in a straight relationship.
but in October last year i saw a video that resonated with me. it said “i want to be in a mlm relationship as a woman” and the top comment was “this is how i found out i was trans btw” and that dont scare me. but then i got curious. i didn’t feel like a boy and i still don’t now.
so i went onto chat gpt… yeah i know. not the best. but i told it about what i was going through and it said all these different labels which i didnt understand. demigirl however, resonated with me. at least i thought it did. i few weeks later it kinda just wore off. but i started to get involved with political matters and yada yada i was an alt girl. i was very accepting of the lgbtqia community. i wanted a future in human rights or politics. i think i kind of tried to push labels onto myself as the alt community is very diverse.
so i just left that aesthetic because again, it wore off. but in november i had a dream of me wearing a suit and tie. it freaked me tf out. like i was asking chatgpt why i had that dream. this is where my tocd started. (i have a history with ocd).
i basically got really scared and started compulsively checking my memories, my feelings and i had so many uncomfortable intrusive thoughts of me as a boy. god it’s scary. this ocd subtype ruined my holiday, my christmas and more. all of the things i wrote here are extremely hazy as ocd kind of gives me false memories.
so, yeah. i don’t feel like a guy. never have. i literally had pinterest boards of feminine clothing i wanted to wear when i was a mum/older. all i ever wanted was to be a beautiful, feminine woman. i forgot to mention that the other night i did my makeup and felt so happy. i was happy with what i looked like and for a moment, i felt absolute certainty in my gender. but then the doubt came back in. i’m so worried because it feels like i like the thoughts sometimes, especially when the anxiety fades for a second, an intrusive thought comes up like “but it would be cool and unique to be a boy” and then i panic because why did i have a split second of false desire?
i remember looking at old pictures of myself and i felt so happy. like, yes, this is me and i don’t want to change her. i could nevr forgive myself for it. but i just cannot stop crying. i’ve started emdr therapy and it made me feel like i want the thoughts even more.
i’m super affected by misogyny and everything. and why am i bringing up past memories that meant nothing at the time like when i dressed up as mr wolf with a suit and tie and everyone liked my outfit and when i played with boy barbies and when i played with boys as a kid and i have boy humour.
but when i pictured myself as a boy (compulsively) i almost felt a spark of desire or excitement that i have NEVER WANTED. i think it’s because of the way i’ve always admired popular boys at school despite them bullying me so badly. i just wonder how it would feel to be one for a day. but if i was asked to press a button to change my gender since birth like be a cis boy i’d say no! i like my life as a girl and i always have. i don’t want my relationship dynamics to change, i like having girl best friends as a girl because i think girlhood is so valuable.
i’m a girl. i’ve always been one. i’ve loved traditionally feminine things for as long as i can remember. i’ve never felt any discomfort with puberty until last month.
now this all started in october 2025. to keep this short, in january 2025 i got into this fandom and loved the male x male ship. i longed to have a dynamic like that. i noticed the nore dominant one got more attention so i started picturing myself as a woman but the more cool or dominant one in a relationship with a man. but in october, i saw this video that i resonated with. it said,
“i want to be in a male x male relationship”
the top comment said, “that’s how i found out i was trans btw” and other things like “first step denial second step daniel”. i guess i got anxious. i googled labels after labels and settled with demigirl although before this i didn’t even think about my gender. since i thought yeah i guess i want to be a cool dominant woman that this is me. i also liked the \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*sound\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* of she/they.
so in november i had this dream that i was wearing a suit and tie. mind you, through all of this i was identifying as bisexual and had an interest in billie eilish. billie isn’t a typical feminine presenting woman and i wanted to be her. i thought she was so cool. so i adapted to that label of being bi because i thought it was cool as well. may have something to do with my adhd. i realised later that i just think some girls are pretty but nearly %100 attracted to men. this is reverent because billie eilish would wear suits but i misinterpreted this dream as something to do with my gender. i started researching.
ever since then i’ve been in distress and sadness because i feel like i’ve fully lost myself to this obsession. but it also feels like i like the thoughts somehow. but why does it feel like i like the thoughts now. it feels so real. i used to search up tocd symptoms vs gender dysphoria and i completely matched up with tocd. that was in december. now it feels like i like the thoughts. my ocd feels so incredibly real and that i like the thoughts. i really dont want them to be true. does anyone else get false emotions in ocd that feel incredibly real? like i’m not panicking right now or crying like i usually do and it feels like i like the thoughts. the false desire i feel is like this: it feels like an involuntary pull toward the idea, this usually occurs after i have compulsively checked if i liked the thoughts. then i get butterflies that feel like excitement and then i start crying. does that sound like false desire?
but it doesn’t even feel distressing like it used to. it started off as a very clear case of ocd and now compulsions dont help and it feels like i want the thoughts. i feel like when i’m crying i’m actually crying because i don’t want to accept it which is true because i truly dont.
At the start I did not feel like this at all. It was irrational although distressing. But omg I remember when we were putting up the Christmas tree I was really upset, affected by misogyny and this was like November 24th 2025. I had this alter ego I created called Jack Maverick back in July and it was all a joke. I remember creating it because my friend at the time wanted to make a boy jealous. It was a joke. But I’m not sure if this memory I’m about to say is true but I think I remember looking myself as Jack in the mirror and thinking I look cool. I drew a moustache on with mascara and I did think I looked cool. But anyway although that is scaring me back to the Christmas tree, I remember putting it up with my mum and then kinda breaking down because I wanted to be free from misogyny. But like, I remember sitting on the stairs and saying “sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be Jack Maverick.” But while I was saying that I was trying to put this Christmas light together and I couldn’t do it so I was getting frustrated. Wait I think I just figured it out. I was frustrated because stereotypically, men are seen to be handy people like they can build stuff. I was mad because I couldn’t and I was extremely affected by misogyny. But as I was looking at the Christmas tree I started crying again to my mum saying “life would be so much easier as a boy” and omg my classmate at the time was detransitioning and I was talking about how I was SCARED of being trans because of misogyny and she understood! I was SCARED.
Does this sound like OCD?
it feels like I want to be an attractive boy when I’ve never ever wanted this. i will never get my girlhood back. unfortunately i am a boy now. i never wanted this. ive always been happy as a girl. now 7 months of intense dread, anxiety and sadness i have to accept that i have to be a boy now. why do i feel like i want to be a boy. this isnt fair. my girlhood and my future has been stripped away from me. this started off as a clear case of ocd, it had a trigger and all, and now its just gotten worse and worse. now it feels like i like it. I can’t do this anymore. I want to be a girl again. All I want is to be a normal girl. I don’t remember the last time I was one.

This is long, so buckle up… I don’t even know where to start.

There’s this YouTuber who’s 2-3 years younger than me who’s conventionally attractive, and when looking back at old videos or photos or edits, they would use old clips from when he was maybe 16-18 (I’m in my 20s), and I remember at times thinking he looked so attractive but young. When I realized his age at the time to confirm, I still felt weird about it and backed off, but yeah… Not sure what this means about me, especially if I find him “attractive” still at that age, but I can’t tell if it’s attraction or just recognizing him as attractive if that makes sense.

I have OCD and struggle with POCD in general. My friend’s young relative spoke on the phone in the background a few weeks ago, and without knowing her age at first but still assuming she was young because it’s his niece, my brain immediately noticed her voice being “attractive” or appealing, and I felt like an absolute monster after learning how young she is (turning 13). Now whenever she’s on the phone in the background, I panic and still don’t know if I find her voice attractive or not, especially because she sounds a lot older than her age. It’s like my brain can’t grasp it fully because all I hear is a voice, but I also struggle with really bad intrusive thoughts, so I can’t even tell anymore. I was on guard the whole time, worried I was flirting with her accidentally or subconsciously by accident, and my brain would be scanning for any inappropriate behaviour on her end as well. I remember searching my friend’s following list to see if I could see a photo of her and get over it so my brain could confirm if I’m attracted or not. Now I feel even weirder for THAT. I recently saw her on video for a split second, and my stomach dropped because she is pretty (I mean that in the least creepy way possible, just objectively speaking), and I immediately thought, “Oh, great. This is confirmation.” But it also registered to me how young she really is, especially the more I listen to her talk, due to immaturity. I still feel uneasy and on guard all the time to scan my reactions, even if I have no intent or desire. I feel like a danger around kids, even though I’d never actually do anything with one.

I once saw random edits of a TV character (Agnes from Wednesday) who was around 16 at the time, and I couldn’t tell if I was attracted to her or not or if I just recognized her as being pretty. I still think she’s very pretty, but I feel weird seeing videos of her. I can’t fully remember, but I think I got a groinal response at the time (you can Google what that is in OCD), and I can’t remember if I was thinking sexually or not. I do remember trying to solve it though by checking and scanning every feeling. When I’m calm, it feels like just recognizing her as pretty, but other times, it feels like I could actually be attracted to her or am panicking and thinking I am just because I find her pretty. This happens a lot when I’ll be scrolling TikTok or something and a “cute” or “pretty” kid pops up. My brain will randomly say, “They’re so fine,” without even being able to think, which leads me to compulsively checking if it’s true attraction or not. There have been times where I genuinely can’t tell the difference.

I also get random thoughts of things I used to do as a kid and sometimes wonder, like curiosity about certain things I used to do in a projecting type of way around them, which makes me question if I’d want that, makes me test my reactions, etc., turning it into a whole mental checking thing that makes me not even know what’s real anymore. I feel like my mind goes to dark places, but half of them don’t even feel like me because they go against my morals. I can’t even tell if they’re intrusive thoughts or just curiosity. I literally don’t know or trust anything anymore. But if it’s curiosity without any desire (I THINK?). I still don’t know what that means.

Another thing is with my partner. I would get random thoughts like, “If he were into that stuff, would you still love him?” and mentally checking if I would, sometimes feeling okay with it and calm, sometimes panicking, sometimes feeling what feels like actual desire and being genuinely turned on at times, etc., especially when I read an old joking comment we made a few months ago while scrolling back in the chat. It was like a surge of adrenaline because I was already on guard, but it felt like genuine arousal. I get a lot of random thoughts like, “What’s the big deal?” about certain things I can’t name, but then immediately argue with my thoughts as well. I have a lot of trauma from growing up, so I tend to gravitate towards wanting to be taken care of/babied sometimes, liking being seen as his little one, which makes me lean into the whole DDLG dynamic. I think my brain might be associating the taboo thoughts with myself and how he views me, if that makes sense. I still feel like a creep if I want him to see me that way, but I think it’s a trauma thing?

I really have no idea what any of this means. I feel like I need to be locked away, but I also struggle with a lot of different OCD themes as well. I just can’t tell the difference anymore.

I’ve had OCD since early childhood, but in the last few years my symptoms have become extremely severe.
Right now I’m dealing with ongoing dental and tonsil/throat problems, and I noticed something very strange: whenever I take Augmentin (amoxicillin/clavulanic acid), my OCD symptoms become dramatically quieter during the antibiotic course. The constant obsessive thoughts, anxiety, mental pressure and compulsions calm down significantly — sometimes almost completely.
Then a few days after finishing the antibiotics, the OCD symptoms return again.
This has happened multiple times now, so it doesn’t feel random anymore.
I know antibiotics are not a treatment for OCD, but I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar, especially related to infections, inflammation, tonsils, dental issues, or immune system activation.
Has anyone here had OCD symptoms improve temporarily while taking antibiotics? If yes, did you ever figure out why?
TL;DR: Severe lifelong OCD symptoms temporarily improve dramatically while taking Augmentin (amoxicillin/clavulanic acid), then return after stopping the antibiotic. Has anyone experienced something similar?

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Hi everyone, I’m 21 and have always suffered with anxiety… but recently I have found myself at night going over every one’s names for safety for comfort/ fear of forgetting????
I have done research and says it’s linked with OCD but I do not really have any other OCD symptoms except from rumination etc. has anyone else experienced this???

Which medication has been most effective for you at reducing rumination and obsessive thinking, besides SSRIs and Anafranil? I would like to find a medication that just lets me ruminate less, without throwing off my whole sexual system. Has anyone found tremendous success with things like, wellbutrin? stimulants? buspar? mirtazapine? Memantine, Etc Etc Etc? Please tell me how it went for you and the dosages you tried.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month — and we want to use it to have the honest conversations about OCD that don't happen enough.

Whether you're dealing with intrusive thoughts, OCD-related shame or guilt, or just struggling to be kind to yourself, we're here for it. Licensed NOCD therapists are live today answering your questions in real time on r/AskAnOCDTherapist.

📅 May 14 | 4–10 PM EST / 1–7 PM PST

Drop your questions below. Nothing is off limits. 👇

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F43.10 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Unspecified
F33.1 Major Depressive Disorder, Recurrent Episode, Moderate
F42.9 Unspecified Obsessive-Compulsive Related Disorder

Cognitive behavioral therapies, while, again, are crucial approaches towards neurotic expressions, can be quite ineffective on their own in addressing fundamental causes, complex cases, or when existential crises arise; particularly if severe traumatising experiences are linked to them. Somatic experiencing, psychodynamic, internal family systems, Coherence, EMDR therapy, and whatnot —which can be integrated into a larger, trauma-informed framework, such as a phase-based one, among others— would be better suited to heal from those griviences leading to neurosis while engaging into cognitive behavioral work to address the former.

>A Freudian (psychoanalytic) analyst would approach Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) by focusing on uncovering and resolving unconscious conflicts that are believed to be at the root of the symptoms. Unlike modern, evidence-based treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which focus on managing and changing thoughts and behaviors, Freudian psychoanalysis aims for deeper insight into the "why" behind the OCD. [¹]

>A Jungian (analytical psychology) analyst [for instance] would approach Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) differently from a Freudian analyst, though both share a focus on the unconscious. While Freud emphasizes unconscious conflicts and repressed impulses, Jung's perspective expands to also include the collective unconscious, archetypes, and the process of individuation. [²]

Jungian Quotes;

>If we follow the history of a neurosis with attention, we regularly find a critical moment when some problem emerged that was evaded .. ⌚

A teen patient's dream; >He is walking along an unfamiliar street. It is dark, and he hears steps coming from behind him. With a feeling of fear he quickens his pace. The footsteps come nearer, and his fear increases. He begins to run but the footsteps seem to be overtaking him. Finally, he turns around, and there he sees The Devil, in deathly terror he leaps into the air and hangs there suspended. This dream was repeated twice, a sign of its special urgency.

His interpretation; >It is a notorious fact that the compulsion neuroses, by reason of their meticulousness and ceremonial punctiliousness, not only have the surface appearance of a moral problem, but are indeed brimful of inhuman beastliness and ruthless evil, against the integration of which the very delicately organized personality puts up a desperate struggle. This explains why so many things have to be performed in ceremonially “correct” style, as though to counteract the evil hovering in the background.

>After this dream, the compulsion neurosis started, and its essential feature was that the patient, as he put it, had to keep himself in a “provisional” or “uncontaminated” state of purity.

>For this purpose he either severed or made “invalid” all contact with the world and with everything that reminded him of the transitoriness of human existence, by means of lunatic formalities, scrupulous cleansing ceremonies, and the anxious observance of innumerable rules and regulations of an unbelievable complexity. Even before the patient had any suspicion of the hellish existence that lay before him, the dream showed him that if he wanted to come down to earth again there would have to be a pact with evil. ⌚

>Once a young man came to me with a severe cases of compulsion neurosis, he produced a voluminous manuscript, which, so he said, contained the history and analysis of his case. He called it a compulsion neurosis quite correctly, as I saw when I read the document. It was a sort of psychoanalytical autobiography, most intelligently worked out showing really remarkable insight. It was a regular scientific treatise, based on a wide reading and a thorough study of the literature. I congratulated him on his achievement and asked him what he had really come for.

>"Well!", he said, " You have read what I have written. Can you tell me why, with all my insight, I am still as neurotic as ever? In theory I should be cured, as I have recalled even my earliest memories. I have read of many people who, with infinitely less insight than I have, were nevertheless cured. Why should I be an exception? Please tell me what it is I have overlooked or am still repressing. "

>I told him I could not at the moment see any reason why his really astonishing insight had not touched his neurosis… " .. there remains only one, perhaps quite foolish, question: you do not mention where you come from and who your parents are. You say you spent last winter on the Riviera and the summer in St. Moritz. Were you very careful in the choice of your parents? ” “ Not at all. ”

>“ You have an excellent business and are making a good deal of money? ” “ No, I cannot make money. ”

>“ Then you have a big fortune from an uncle? ” “ No. ”

>“ Then where does the money come from? ” He replied: “ I have a certain arrangement. I have a friend who gives me the money. ”

>I said: “ It must be a wonderful friend! ” and he replied: “ It is a woman. ”

>She was much older than himself, aged thirty-six, a teacher in an elementary school with a small salary, who fell in love with the fellow who was twenty-eight. She lived on bread and milk so that he could spend his winter on the Riviera and his summer in St. Moritz.

>“ And you ask why you are ill ! ”

>He said: “ Oh, you have a moralistic point of view; that is not scientific. ”

>I said: “ The money in your pocket is the money of the woman you cheat. ”

>He said, “ No, we agreed upon it. I had a serious talk with her and it is not a matter for discussion that I get the money from her. ”

>I said: “ You are pretending to yourself that it is not her money, but you live by it, and that is immoral. That is the cause of your compulsion neurosis. It is a compensation and a punishment for an immoral attitude. ”

>An utterly unscientific point of view, of course, but it is my conviction that he deserves his compulsion neurosis and will have it to the last day of his life if he behaves like a pig.

>He went right away like a god and thought: “ Dr. Jung is only a moralist, not a scientist. Anybody else would have been impressed by the interesting case instead of looking for simple things. "

>He commits a crime and steals the savings of a lifetime from an honest woman in order to be able to have a good time. That fellow belongs in jail, and his compulsion neurosis provides it for him all right.⌚

>The more projections are thrust in between the subject and the environment, the harder it is for the ego to see through its illusions. You promise yourself all the time new countries, new chances, wonderful things, and are lured on and on, living the provisional life. That is very typical of the specific psychology of the neurotic; part of the neurosis consists of that suspended life, or rather, the provisional life. I learned that term from a patient who had suffered from a compulsion neurosis since he was twenty and had become completely cut off from their world. He said: " The trouble is, I am living a provisional life, and the name of it is Happy Neurosis Island, where nothing has come off yet. I am now forty-five, and I know I began my provisional life .. went to Happy Neurosis Island when I was seventeen. And I cannot be cured because, if I should remember again, I should wake up a boy of seventeen and have to realize that so many years had gone by wasted[neither did he enjoy a hedonistic life of boyhood and youth, nor did he accomplish significant achievements]inferred—I can never admit to myself that I've wasted the best twenty-five years of my life!— Now, I have hope and I can live. "

>I told him in the beginning that he would not put it through, because he could not bring off the sacrifice of thirty years; it is a bloody sacrifice to cut away thirty years of your life! He could have done it if he had wanted to be cured, but he didn't.⌚

>You see, it is very typical of human beings that as long as they are suspended and they have a chance to move on, they always have hope of finding the good thing round the next corner, so they never insist on having happiness where they are. But when you settle down and assume that now it will come off, you are up against a brick wall. Happiness does not descend upon you, it is even a considerable strain to keep quiet. And then you think regretfully of former times when you could escape and disappear somewhere in the clouds on the horizon. ⌚

>Carelessness of all kinds, neglected duties, tasks postponed, willful outbursts of defiance, and so on, all these can dam up their vitality to such an extent that certain quanta of energy, no longer finding a conscious outlet, stream off into the unconscious, where they activate other compensating contents, which in turn begin to exert a compulsive influence on the conscious mind.⌚

>Instinct stimulates thought, and if a man does not think of his own free will, then you get compulsive thinking, for the two poles of the psyche, the physiological and tegmental, are unsolubly connected. For this reason instinct cannot be freed without freeing the mind, just as mind divorced from instinct is condemned to futility.⌚

>More acute cases develop every sort of phobia, and, in particular, compulsion symptoms. The pathological contents have a markedly unreal character, with a frequent moral or religious streak. A petty fogging captiousness follows, or a grotesquely punctilious morality combined with primitive "magical" superstitions that fall back on abstruse rites.⌚

>History > https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-long-has-ocd-been-around#h-people-were-describing-ocd-long-before-it-was-called-that

>Warning ⚠️ https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/ineffective-and-potentially-harmful-psychological-interventions-for-obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

[¹] 🔗https://www.reddit.com/r/psychoanalysis/s/b3bl817V0n

[²] 🔗https://youtu.be/bNFSqiadG60?si=fpuQhwLj9NWZGj3U

In EA Sports FC 26, there are kit issues with some big clubs like Liverpool, Man City, Chelsea, Barcelona, PSG, etc.

For example:

Chelsea have different fonts for Premier League and cup matches. In UCL it looks correct, but in FA Cup matches the font becomes curved instead of straight.

Liverpool GK kit font is curved instead of straight, while all other players’ jerseys except GK have the correct straight font.

PSG third kit has the font straight, but it should be curved.

For Barcelona, the sponsor on the back of the jersey is placed too low under the number, while it is just below the number in real life.

Every year, at least 3–4 top teams have these kinds of kit issues.
My question is: does this affect your immersion when playing Career Mode or anything?

I suffered from severe OCD and severe anxiety to the point i couldn’t get out of my room without feeling contaminated and triggered. I used to spend 8 hours a day showering and cleaning the whole bathroom and couldn’t even eat due to the sheer disgust of pooping. I was restricting food and water intake due to disgust of peeing and pooping. It got so serious that I started eating once every three days. My friends and family were so alarmed they almost sought out religious rituals because they thought I was possessed by something. I was not able to live normally for five whole years and more. While everyone else was having new experiences and exploring the world I was stuck sanitizing everything and tracking every surface people touched so I could clean it before I touched it.

For five whole years , I was so disgusted of everything and everyone that I was convinced I was a horrible human being. I seeked treatment but I ended up with a so called counsellor with no degree or license and because he was not a psychiatrist he belittled my OCD and made me touch dirty surfaces so he could “cure” me. That encounter lead to the worsening of my OCD and I became hopeless because I thought that was the only treatment available. I loathed my own existence and felt more and more suicidal and helpless each passing day. I fantasised ending it all so i wouldn’t burden the people suffering because of my unnamed condition.

Even leaving my house had become something impossible for me and every time I went out I needed to clean sanitise and wash everything I took or touched multiple times till it stopped feeling contaminated. I was stuck washing my clothes again and again and sanitising my phone and belongings repeatedly and throwing away things that felt contaminated all the time. One day, I went out with my cousin to a park and after returning i couldn’t bring myself up to enter my room. I felt like I would contaminate everything and ruin my safe space. I needed to shower and clean and wash and sanitise but it became so daunting that i couldn’t even do those things. I finally had the courage to enter my room but after that I felt like I contaminated the room so I cleaned it , really cleaned it— sanitised every surface, trashed things that felt contaminated and washed everything even the pillows and mattresses. It took me almost a month to finally be able to enter my own room without feeling like I was dying. That was when I knew I needed help. One of my best friends found a psychiatrist over the internet and booked an appointment for me. At first, it was really hard for me to even go to the clinic but when I finally went there I was diagnosed with “severe contamination OCD” and “severe anxiety”. I almost felt happy to know I had finally been understood and that I could have the correct treatment now.

The treatment was never easy . I had ups and down and even multiple breakdowns so I was in and out of the hospital for an entire year. I got hospitalised 4 times in a year for months at a time and tried various medications. I was even recommended to get ECT and rtms done. It took a lot of CBT, ERP and therapy to get to where I am now. A year into my treatment, I can finally say I am an OCD survivor. Today I can sit with my family, eat with my friends, go attend my university classes and go out freely like a neurotypical person can. I almost overdosed to end it all multiple times but I had the right professional help as well as the unconditional support and acceptance from my friends and family ,which I will forever be grateful for, and today I can tell you , “ I survived severe OCD and so can you.”

I was bit/scratched by a stray cat back at the end of March. The cat had seemed fine and I ended up seeing the cat a couple of weeks later and again at the end of April but I haven’t seen it since.

When I got bit, I contacted my doctor, they prescribed me some antibiotics and I forgot about the whole thing.

Now I’m having this whole spiral about rabies and reading more about it, like it could take a year to show symptoms has me in a hold.

The doctor didn’t even bring up the rabies vaccine to me but now I’m wondering if I should ask for it. Is asking for it just a form of reassurance seeking? I’ve never had this obsession before and it’s been so hard to shake.

Any advice?