r/WIBTA_AITA

I am writing this on my lunch break and my blood is completely boiling. I work in a small industrial logistics office managing supply routes. There are only four of us who handle the main dispatch desk, meaning our vacation policy is incredibly strict. We cannot have more than one person off at any given time because the workload is too heavy. Because of this, our program director makes us submit our holiday requests for the entire year back in October. It is a first come, first served system, and I made sure to lock in my two weeks for this upcoming July the exact minute the portal opened.

I have a whole road trip planned through the Pacific Northwest with a few guys from college. We rented a cabin, booked some specific guided fishing trips that have a non refundable deposit, and everything is locked down. I have been looking forward to this for eight months because our winter peak season was an absolute nightmare and I am on the verge of complete burnout .

Yesterday, one of the other dispatchers, Dave, cornered me in the break room. Dave has been with the company a year less than me. He told me that his nine year old son has been obsessed with going to this specific theme park in California, and Dave apparently promised him they would go this July. The problem is Dave did not bother to check the calendar until last week, and he realized my approved vacation completely blocks the dates he needs. He asked me to swap my two weeks in July for his two weeks in late September.

I told him I could not do it because everything is already paid for and my friends already took time off from their own jobs. Dave did not take that well. He started pressing me, saying that September is a better time for a single guy anyway because the crowds are smaller, and that I am ruining his kids summer. He literally said, "He is nine, he is only going to be this age once and he has been crying about it all week."

Now the mood in the office is incredibly awkward. Dave is giving me the silent treatment, and today our supervisor subtly hinted that it would be a "great team building gesture" if I accommodated him since I don't have a family of my own. That part pissed me off the most. Just because I am not married and do not have children does not mean my personal life and my time off have zero value. I earned my seniority, I followed the rules, and I planned ahead. Dave dropped the ball because he cannot manage his own schedule, and now he is trying to use fatherly guilt to make his mistake my problem .

Part of me feels slightly bad for the kid because he is caught in the middle of his dads incompetence, but I am absolutely not throwing away a thousand dollars in deposits and canceling plans with five other people just to bail Dave out. My friends think Dave is being an entitled prick, but the pressure at work is getting real. WIBTA if I just stand my ground and let him deal with his own crying kid?

I (32M) recently had my first child via surrogacy with my partner. The pregnancy process was very private and only a small group of people knew about it, mostly due to past family issues and how invasive things got when my ex wife and I were going through our divorce.

I specifically told my mother not to share anything with anyone until we were ready to announce it ourselves.

A few days after the birth, I found out from my ex wife that my mother had contacted her weeks earlier and told her about the pregnancy. Not just that it included details about the due date, the clinic we were using, and even suggested my ex might want to be involved again.

My ex wife was understandably upset and said she felt dragged back into something she had no intention of reopening.

When I confronted my mother, she said she only told my ex because she deserved to know and that she was trying to heal old wounds and bring closure to everyone. She insisted it came from a good place and that I was being harsh for cutting her off from the baby over one mistake.

Since then, she has been telling relatives that I’m punishing her and denying her first grandchild over communication differences.

I told her I don’t trust her judgment right now and that she won’t be meeting the baby until I feel comfortable again, if ever.

Now my extended family is split some say I’m protecting my child, others say I’m being extreme and depriving her of something she’s waited years for.

AITH for refusing to let her meet my newborn after what she did?

my wife and i are both 42 and weve been in marriage counselling for about three months now trying to save what we have. for context, when i finished my phd at 26 i was on track to do research in my field at quite a serious level and i gave it up to take a steady admin job so my wife could go all in on her career which has done very well. ive worked a job ive hated for fifteen years so her hours could be what they needed to be.

in last weeks session our counsellor asked me if i could go back to 26 and do my life over again would i make the same choice, i sat with it for a minute and said honestly no. i love my wife and id never undo our marriage but if i could go back to that specific decision i would have kept my career and we wouldve figured the rest out a different way. i said ive gone from someone who loved his work to someone who survives the week.

my wife was visibly devastated and stayed quiet through the rest of the session and barely spoke to me on the drive home. i didnt sleep that night because id said something that needed saying but also felt like id put a sledgehammer through her. the next morning we had a long talk and she said she felt blindsided and would need a few days.

two nights ago my younger brother rang me out of nowhere asking if it was true id told my wife i regretted my entire adult life, it took an hour on the phone to work out my wife had rung him that afternoon and told him id said in counselling that i wished id never met her and that the last fifteen years had been a mistake. my brother is the one who tried to talk me out of giving up the research job in the first place and he and my wife have been strained ever since.

i love my wife but you do not weaponise counselling and you do not pick the one person in my life who would feel most vindicated to hear that and ring him with a twisted version of what i said. yes i told the counsellor id make a different career choice if i could go back, no i did not say i regretted meeting her or building a life with her, those are very different things.

the marriage is properly over now and her mum is over for moral support and i can hear them crying through the wall. AITA for saying what i said in the one room youre meant to be able to say honest things in?

im 24 and ive been living at my dads for the past couple of months because my flat lease ran out. Dads been with his partner for about two years and she basically lives here with her grown daughter whos 22, so its been the four of us in the house.

The thing is his partner has been kind of off with me from the start. Shes lovely with dad and obviously adores her own daughter but with me its always a bit cold. She doesnt really include me in anything and ive sort of just been keeping to my room because its easier.

Last weekend dad wanted us to all bond a bit so he came up with this "girls day" thing where his partner would take me and her daughter out shopping. He gave her three hundred quid in cash and told her to make a proper day of it for all three of us with lunch on him and a bit of money to treat ourselves.

We went round about five shops and his partner bought her daughter a whole new outfit and a bag and basically anything she pointed at, while i just trailed around watching. Im not the type to ever ask someone to buy me stuff, but at the end of the day we stopped at a coffee place and i asked if i could get a flat white. She told me shed actually run out of cash on the card and would get me something "next time we go out."

She and her daughter then ordered themselves a coffee each and two slices of cake and i just stood there. I asked if i could share one of the cakes and she said no because it was a treat for her daughter doing well at uni and it wouldnt be fair to give it to someone who hadnt earned it.

We got back home and dad clocked the two coffees and the cake bag and asked where mine was. I just told him exactly what had happened. His partner went red and started saying i was twisting her words and being dramatic, and her daughter said i was being jealous and acting like a teenager. Dad didnt say much at the time but ive heard them arguing about it twice since.

So heres where it gets messy. Her daughters birthday is next weekend and dad has booked a restaurant for all four of us and is paying the whole bill. I genuinely do not want to sit through an evening of his partner fussing over her daughter and pretending im not there. Im thinking of telling dad im not coming, but i know shell make it look like im sabotaging the birthday.

WIBTA if i just skipped it?

Hi,

More of a rant.

For virtually very post, it's so obvious that the answer is NO. What happened to the maybe asshole posts?

My friend keeps borrowing money and never pays me back. WIBTA if I stop?
My housemate eats all my food, WIBTA if I confront her?
My boyfriend slept with someone but was drunk, WIBTA if I left him?

WIBTA if I stopped visiting this community as virtaully very post has such an obvious NO answer?

So i was basically raised by my aunt and uncle. When i was about seven my older brother got really seriously ill and my parents apparently decided they couldnt handle the two of us at once, so they dropped me at my grans one weekend with a "youre going to stay with gran for a bit" and then just never came back for me. No proper explanation, nothing, i was a little kid waiting to be picked up and it just never happened.

My aunt and uncle ended up taking me in and they were furious about the whole thing. Ive seen my parents maybe a handful of times since and not once in about the last decade because i stopped reaching out around twelve and the contact just died on its own. Honestly it worked out, my aunt and uncle couldnt have kids of their own and theyve always called me their miracle, they adopted me properly when i turned eighteen, and im twenty four now and genuinely happy.

My brother passed away just before christmas and i came home for the funeral but i hung at the back and slipped out before my bio parents could get to me. They rang my uncle afterwards trying to get to me and he just told them i wasnt available.

Then they actually caught me on christmas eve when i was at a carol service with my gran. They came straight over and went to hug me, and i did recognise them, of course i did, but i just stepped back and went "sorry, do i know you?" They said "were your parents" and i said "my parents are at home" and went and sat down next to my gran.

On the way out they tried again, going "you genuinely dont recognise us?" and i said "oh, are you one of my dads cousins, i think i remember you from when i was small." My gran reckons they had it coming, turning up like nothing ever happened, but theyve since sent me this long letter about how hurt they are and how they were only ever trying to do the right thing and how theyll always be my parents whether i like it or not. A few other relatives are saying i was too harsh because theyre grieving.

AITA?

So a couple of weekends ago i had a few people round for dinner, just six of us in total, nothing fancy, mostly close mates plus one persons new partner that none of us had met before, ill call him the new guy. Lovely enough at first, bit much, but fine.

After we ate someone pulled out one of those conversation card games where the questions get deeper as you go, so it starts with stuff like whats your comfort film and ends up at the heavier end. Everyone was having a really nice time and i was genuinely happy with how the night was going.

Then i drew a card that asked what the lowest point of my life had been.

Bit of context. My younger brother died about six years ago, i was the one who got the call and i was at the hospital when he passed. Three of the people there knew all about it but the other two and the new guy didnt, and i really didnt want to drop a bomb like that into a fun evening, so i just said something light about how moving to a new city on my own had been the hardest thing ive been through.

Everyone was ready to move on but the new guy leaned back and went "wow if thats the worst thing thats ever happened to you then you have lived an unbelievably easy life." And honestly if hed said it as a joke i would have laughed it off, but the way he said it was so smug and pleased with himself that something in me just went.

So i looked at him and said actually the hardest thing ive been through was getting the call about my brother and being in the room when he died, i just didnt want to ruin a nice night by saying it. It went from a bit quiet to absolutely silent. He mumbled some sort of sorry and the whole thing kind of fizzled out not long after.

AITA?

one of my coworkers has been consistently late for shifts lately. at first i didn’t mind helping cover for them because stuff happens and i know life can get stressful sometimes.

but now it’s become a regular thing

almost every time they’re late, i end up handling extra work, dealing with customers alone longer, or staying later to help catch things up. the frustrating part is they always apologize and act grateful, but nothing actually changes. recently my manager casually thanked both of us for “working hard,” and i realized nobody even notices i’m the one constantly adjusting around their lateness, now i’m thinking about stopping covering for them completely and just letting management deal with it, but part of me feels guilty because i know it could seriously affect them at work.

WIBTA if i stopped helping and let the consequences fall on them instead?

My brother “Jay” (45M) was completely in love with my best friend “Selena” (36F). For almost a year, he treated her kids like they were his own. He showed up for school events, helped with everyday things, and became the stable father figure those kids had been missing. Everyone around them thought they were building a future together.

Then, out of nowhere, everything blew up.

About two months ago, Selena admitted she had been cheating on Jay with one of her guy friends…you know, the “don’t worry about him” kind. While my brother was at work trying to provide and build a future with her, she told him she had become “lonely” and unhappy enough to sleep with someone else.

Jay was devastated.

The only thing that made the breakup easier was the fact they didn’t officially live together yet, even though they had been talking about finding a place. Selena often complained that Jay would never move or rehome some of his animals to get a nicer place, and she said she wanted someone around with her more at night.

Even after all of this, I still kept in contact with Selena because she had been there for me during one of the darkest times in my life after I lost a parent. Every few weeks, she’d message me or mutual friends asking how Jay was doing. But Jay wanted nothing to do with her after finding out she betrayed him.

Then came the part that honestly made me angry for my brother.

I found out the guy she cheated with “Charlie” had moved into her house almost immediately after the breakup. Yet Selena claimed she didn’t even really want a relationship with Charlie (or could’ve been the other way around). Apparently, they had just become “best friends.”

Fast forward a little while, and Selena suddenly started reaching out through family members asking Jay to call her because she “missed him.” My brother, being the good-hearted person he is, answered. The problem is… he still loves her. So now he’s trying to see if they can make things work again.

But here’s the issue: Charlie STILL lives there.

Jay has told Selena multiple times that there’s no way trust can be rebuilt while she’s living under the same roof as the man she cheated on him with. Selena refuses to ask Charlie to leave because “he has nowhere else to go.” Somehow she genuinely doesn’t understand why this would make my brother uncomfortable.

What makes it even more frustrating is Selena is the jealous type herself. She would absolutely lose her mind if Jay were living with one of his exes while claiming they were “just friends.”

As Jay’s sister, I’m trying hard not to overstep, but it’s painful watching him hold onto someone who seems unwilling to fully let go of the other guy. I care about Selena because she was once one of my closest friends, but at the end of the day, Jay is my brother, and I hate seeing him hurt all over again.

I told Selena that if she truly wants another chance with Jay, she needs to decide what she actually wants and stop keeping both men around.

Now I’m wondering if I crossed a line. Would I be the asshole if I told Selena to make up her mind or leave my brother alone?

Not sure if I should put a TW here for the discussion of an abusive parent, but TW for that and mention of gun violence.

Hello, last night I learned my mom who I am no contact with has been trying to plan that me, my dad, and her will all sit together to watch my brother graduate next week.

For context, my parents are divorced and have been separated for almost four years. I have been no contact with her for about a year and a half. My brother is still in contact with her and sees her pretty regularly, my dad however, has barely seen her over the course of the separation, omitting divorce meetings. This would be due to my mom’s refusal to interact with him, as she usually makes it a point that she does not want to sit with or interact with him at events.

I won’t get into great detail about why I am no contact, but she was abusive to us growing up. She was a SAHM and my dad was at work a lot, so he was not there for most of it. Physically abusive when we were little and as we grew older she was much more mentally abusive. She moved out when I was 18 and the tone shifted drastically, maybe because she didn’t live with us anymore and no longer had much control? She was way less mentally abusive and argumentative once we lived apart, but in my experience, still insufferable to be around. She is just not a nice person, she is hateful towards others and made it well known to us. Every time we made plans to see each other, or at least nine times out of ten, she would find a way to talk badly about my father, saying vile things (e.g. she would laugh if she saw him get shot in the head, along with a couple of his family members). When I said something back and let her know that was not okay to say, she basically said that if I had “gone through” what she had gone through with him, that I’d feel the same way. Meanwhile, my mom was the abusive one and my dad was not spared either, she would treat him poorly as well, and we all would walk on egg shells around her. He pandered to her constantly and never did anything abusive to her. My brother seems to easily forget or put these things in the back of his mind when hanging out with her, but that was always much harder for me to do. After every hang out, I’d be pissed off and mentally drained from trying not to say something and cause a fight, so it has been much healthier for me to be no contact.

Now to the point, there have been numerous other events for my brother that we all have gone to. We sat apart (usually me and my dad sitting in one spot and my mom sitting separately), and we would not interact with her at all. However, last night my dad and brother told me that she was planning on having all of us sit together at his graduation and then all go out to lunch together afterwards. I was not told anything by her, not surprisingly, and she seems to be just communicating and planning this all out through them. I find it crazy that this hasn’t even been a thought in her mind for any other event, and with how much she loves to talk about hating my dad, it’s pretty odd she wants to sit with him and I now (and go out to eat together afterwards…) at such an important event. She talked to both my dad and brother about this. She reached out to my dad over text, I am not sure how it was communicated and don’t know everything that was said, but my dad agreed to it and wanted us to all sit together too. He knows we are no contact and I am surprised he thought I would be okay with that. Apparently, as she was pitching this idea to my brother, she basically brought me up and said “She isn’t going to dictate how this goes” and said I would be childish to not sit with them and go out to lunch with them afterwards. I do not want to spoil anything regarding the graduation, but I think it would be crazy to just go along with this when I’d much rather sit by myself at that point.

Since we are no contact, I did not invite her to my graduation that took place a couple weeks ago. We (my dad and brother) also did not do much afterwards either. My dad had to go straight to work, and my brother had an event to go to. We briefly met to take a few pictures and went our separate ways as it was a chaotic scene in Seaport (Boston), lots of traffic and people making their way out. I am not complaining about this, I just don’t think it would be a huge deal to not meet with my brother after graduation and instead maybe take pictures at home and celebrate at a later date, like we did for mine.

I never want to put anyone in the middle of anything. Any time there has been an event for my brother where my mom wants to do something with him after, I never try to make conflicting plans or say anything about making plans with her instead of me, because we live together and it is super easy to do something another time. This is a first time situation regarding her wanting to sit with my dad, and I can’t help but feel like this is to stir the pot or try to make me look bad for not wanting to sit and go out to eat with them. I am thinking of telling my dad I would rather sit alone if they are going to sit together, emphasizing that I do not want to cause issues and that I am not trying to put him in the middle. I didn’t say this right when I was told, I was kind of shocked by the whole thing, as this was brought up to me at a dinner where we were celebrating me passing my boards yesterday. My brother pretty much knew from the start that I would not be okay with this and doesn’t seem to be shocked or bothered by the fact that I don’t want to interact with her.

Would I be the asshole for sitting by myself and not seeing my brother right after graduation? I am kind of bummed, I thought I’d maybe be able to briefly meet him and congratulate him before my mom could get to him, and maybe I can still try to make that work before peacing out. I just don’t want her to freak out or bring this up at the restaurant and make it about how I’m being childish. Even if I did go, I think it would be super awkward, not even just because of me, but that would also be the first time my parents have interacted in a social setting since the separation. My dad also isn’t even sure if he can go the the lunch either, as he might need to go straight to work like he did after my graduation, but emphasized he’d want to go if he can. My main goal is to never put anyone in the middle or make them feel they have to choose to spend time with me or my mom, but I feel my hand is being forced in this situation as this is the first time my mom has tried to plan something of the sort with all of us while being no contact. I just want some outside opinions, thank you for reading this far.

Original:

posthttps://www.reddit.com/r/WIBTA\_AITA/comments/1t8644w/wibta\_for\_reporting\_a\_university\_group\_that\_hazed/

I reported the group after being pressured into it by others, including the school. But because of my morality and my deep caring for the people in the group, I told the president what I did, and what they were doing was wrong and that they needed to stop, and I tried to say how it affected me. There was more than I listed in the last post. But he didn't budge, he said it wasn't hazing, and when I tried to tell him how it affected me and the effect the hazing had on my emotional state, he told me not to shit-talk his group.

He's a good person, really, but he just refuses to see. So what comes next isn't on me, it's on him.

I (23F) have been going back and forth on this for weeks.

My parents divorced when I was 16, and I’ve stayed close with my dad since then. He got engaged about a year ago, and his wedding is coming up next month.

A few months ago, I asked if I could help with planning or at least be involved in some of the decisions, since I thought it would be nice to be included. At first he said yes, but in practice I was mostly left out. Most decisions were made with his fiancée and her family, and I usually only found out things after they were already decided like venue, guest list changes, and even the ceremony details.

I tried not to take it personally, but it started to feel like I was just a guest rather than his daughter. When I brought it up, he said I was overthinking it and that weddings are stressful and it’s easier for him to just handle things with his fiancée.

Last week I found out I wasn’t even listed as part of the wedding party or included in any formal role, which hurt more than I expected. I brought it up again and he said they decided to keep it simple and didn’t want to overcomplicate things.

Now I feel kind of sidelined from something that’s supposed to be a big family moment. I told him I’m not sure I want to attend anymore if I’m just going to show up as an afterthought guest. He got upset and said I’m trying to make his wedding about me and causing unnecessary drama.

My mom says I should still go to support him, even if I’m hurt, because it’s an important day in his life. A couple friends say I’m justified and that I’m reacting to being excluded.

Now I’m stuck between feeling disrespected and feeling like I might be overreacting.

WIBTA for refusing to attend my dad’s wedding after being excluded from planning and involvement?

Quick background- my husband and I have been supporting his alcoholic brother and wife and kids while his brother struggles to get sober. We have helped with housing and paying bills and finding them jobs and even paying for multiple rehab stays for him. It’s not just finance. We also emotionally support the kids and take them on vacation with our family and try to get them away from the fighting and volatility when brother is actively drinking. Basically we love the kids and tolerate the adults even though they are totally fu$* ups who honestly have taken advantage of our generosity repeatedly. We are working with Alanon and a therapist to try to set stronger boundaries and stop enabling beca nothing we do seems to help. Right now he’s out of rehab but still drinking and we are trying to get him into an outpatient facility. His wife, my SIL, is in total denial about his serious issues and is no help. She has addiction issues too. She doesn’t work steadily and she doesn’t contribute financially to anything. So recently she came to my husband and said she wants to try Ozempic because she hears it helps with cravings and it might help her quit and lose weight and gain some self esteem. But she’s not medically eligible so it will cost $1500 a month out of pocket and she wants my husband to cover the cost. He is feeling weak because the kids are struggling with their dad and his visible drunken behavior. He wants to do everything he can and hes inclined to say yes. I said no way!! This woman should get herself a job!! Pay her own bills and rent and take care of her own kids and husband and stop expecting us to subsidize her life! Now my husband says I’m an asshole and I’m being a b*tch. Yes or no?

I have a friend who goes to my school. Last year, one of our classes had an assignment where we had to make movies. My friend asked me to act in his movie, and he said that if I acted in his, he would act in mine.

I agreed and acted in his movie. But when it was time to film mine, which was only about a week before the project was due, he backed out and said he didn’t want to do it anymore. He was supposed to be the lead, so I had to change a lot of things last minute and adjust the whole project because he suddenly decided not to help.

Now, a year later, we have the same type of movie assignment again. He asked me to be in his movie, but I told him no because of what happened last year. I don’t really trust him after he backed out on me when I had already helped him.

Now he’s saying I’m being petty and that he’s changed, but I still said no. I feel like I’m allowed to say no, especially since he put me in a bad position last time, but part of me wonders if I’m holding onto it too much since it happened a year ago.

AITA for refusing to act in his movie because he backed out of mine last year?

I (26F) have a close friend (27F) I’ve known since college. We’ve always been pretty supportive of each other, and I’ve helped her out financially a few times over the years.

It started small $20 here, $50 there usually for groceries or rides when she was short before payday. She always said she’d pay me back in a few days.

The problem is, she rarely does unless I remind her multiple times. Even then, it often turns into weeks or months, and sometimes it just quietly gets dropped until I bring it up again.

A couple weeks ago, she asked to borrow $300 because she had an unexpected bill and said she’d definitely pay me back next week. I hesitated but eventually agreed because she was stressed and it felt like a one off situation.

It’s been over two weeks, and I haven’t seen any of it back. When I gently asked, she said she’s still waiting on her paycheck situation to stabilize and that I should know she always pays me back eventually.

I told her I don’t want to lend money anymore unless it’s something I can afford to basically not get back, and that I need clearer expectations if it happens again.

She got upset and said I was acting like she’s irresponsible and making her feel judged when she’s just going through a rough patch. She also said I’m keeping score in a friendship.

Now things feel weird between us, and I’m not sure if I overreacted or if I’m finally just setting a normal boundary.

WIBTA for refusing to lend my friend money anymore after repeated delays in paying me back?

Long story short, my friend 24F cheated on her boyfriend about a month ago with her coworker who she had been secretly into for about a year. She broke up with her boyfriend 2 days after it happened, which I somewhat respect… but the dude she’s hooking up with has no idea that she cheated on her boyfriend with him or that she has genital herpes. I know for a fact they’ve had unprotected sex numerous times, sometimes multiple times in one night (she’s told me all about it). I politely asked her if she had disclosed to him that she has genital herpes, (which she’s not medicated for at all and never has been) and she told me no because she’s not in an “outbreak”. I tried to explain to her that it can still spread without any symptoms due to viral shedding and that’s how about 70% of cases are transmitted and she acted clueless and said her doctor never said anything about that to her. This isn’t the first time she’s had unprotected sex with someone knowing she has herpes but blamed the last dude for it and said he deserved to get it because he’s a “dog”. My friendship with her is hanging on by a thread, we’ve been friends since we were 6 and for the last multiple years she’s just made horrible choices and I really can’t stand her anymore but she’s never done anything to me so it’s hard to cut it off. I don’t know what to do because this dude deserves to know what he’s dealing with and I feel like that’s just a new level of horrible shit to do to someone, but if I tell him even discretely or from a fake number she’ll know it’s me because she hasn’t told anyone else. This is also her bosses son and the family who owns the place she works. What do I do?

I(18f) am in a conundrum. I'm a college student who has recently changed my career path, so I'm unsure of what to do next. Sorry for formatting, I'm on my phone.

I live in the house with my mom, 38, stepdad, 40 (technically, their longtime boyfriend, but they call each other wife and husband), and my younger sisters, 3, 5, and 7 years old.

Tonight I ended up doing my assigned chore, which is cleaning the kitchen, later than usual. Typically, I'd do said chore about 9:30 on days I'm not at work. The reason why I didn't today, because I rubbed lotion in my skin, which had melatonin in the lotion (I'd forgotten it did). This was after I'd help my mom get my sisters dressed after their bath.

I've consistently had problems with my sleeping pattern but I've gotten better over time. Sometimes, it gets out of whack, especially since I'm out of classes for now.

My stepdad, Greg (fake name) reprimanded me for doing it so late even after I told him I fell asleep accidentally. He basically told me to do my chore by 8pm and no later. He has specifically told me many times. I don't have a problem with this.

My problem in this specific situation is that he never said anything in the past few months when I would clean at my usual time.

But that's not why I want to move out. I feel like it's the audacity to tell me how to do my own chore when several times my mom had to remind him or he just doesn't check the trash can regularly, we have a relative nice sized trash can that fills up fast. In fact, when I did go to clean the kitchen, the trash wasn't even taken out and he's been here since 9pm from work (he went to work at 2pm).

Also, I feel a little resentment about having to pay rent in a few months even though I only just turned 18 not even a year ago. I don't have a problem with paying my way, I often pay for things without being asked and I don't even ask for money to watch my sisters often, even if I have plans.

The reason I feel resentment, is that when my older cousin, who wasn't going to school, bringing random girls into my mom's house and barely working, was living here for 1.5 years, and didn't pay rent until the last 6 months of his stay. But I have to even though I'm barely an adult, I work, and I go to school full-time, most of the year.

I just feel like it's unfair that I have to pay rent when he didn't have to for a long time. Also, Greg convinced my mom to let my cousin stay even when she wanted to kick him out. I, in turn, don't do any of this. I still inform my mom, most of the time when I go, when I have people over, even though Greg tries to tell me that I don't have to. I'm not doing that though, I respect my mother enough to tell her who's going in or to her house.

Sometimes it feels like he wants me to be treated as older than I actually am. For example, on Easter, my mom got me a mini basket of goodies (soap, deodorant, candy, Gatorade and other non expensive stuff, which I appreciated). He told me that once I turn 19, I shouldn't expect to get anything from them, my mom gave him side eye. He doubled down even when I told him for years I didn't really get gifts for my birthdays or Christmas consistently.

The reason why my mom wants me to pay rent is a mixture of maybe his influence and definitely because she's been the main breadwinner for years while he often would do nothing.

Until last year, he didn't have a stable job. A few times, it wasn't his fault but often he would quit the job because of a minor inconvenience or his wish to be an unsuccessful street pharmacist. This caused my mom to overwork herself to not only pay for the bills but majority of the expenses in general. She's landed in the hospital a few times for overworking herself.

When he does have a job for a few months, he didn't contribute to the bills (he does now but he didn't really used to), nor did he contribute to the chores, or sometimes the kids, early on. Hence why my mom finally snapped and said that we, not just me, help her pay bills. This is not everything that has happened in the last 8 years.

Also, I help pay my phone bill, mom and I are on the same plan and I contribute regularly to gas and other bills when asked even before I was an adult. Meanwhile, they'd often have arguments about his lack of a job and non contribution to the household.

This is not my only problem with him. I love my mom but I just feel like it's not going to work long-term now that I'm an adult. So, WIBTA?

*For the sake of my privacy, I will be using fake names and ages*

I (18f) got with my friend's (18f) fwb (19M), and now she's mad at me. I originally met my now bf (B) through my now ex bsf (G). This all started in September 2025. She texted me about B and asked if I wanted to meet him. I agreed, so we hopped on a FaceTime call, and we all talked for a while. B and I got along well; we both enjoyed similar things. This is where things got odd. I identify as queer, but I'm more attracted to women. I flirt with my female friends playfully. G was showing off her dresses to B, and I joined in on the flirting with her, and he didn't mind. She had to get off the call, so that left B and me alone. We laughed about random things, and he eventually asked about my dating preferences and sexuality. We figured out we were into similar "things"; mind you, he was high off his ass. He opened up about how he really felt about G, that he wasn't into her, and that's why they weren't together. After that day, we talked over the course of a few days (ik, it's short) and he eventually asked me out. I thought he was attractive, but I didn't want to ruin my friendship with G. We decided to get together, but wait to tell G until I saw her in person. Fast forward to about a week later, and I went to her house for a sleepover. Apparently, she was getting suspicious about B and me; she kept asking to see our texts and would ask me questions like "Do you like B?" and "Have you talked to B yet?" I told her, "No, I haven't talked to him, but I do find him attractive, he is a very sweet and funny guy, but I know you and him are fwb". I would also ask questions to get a feel for how she would react when I told her (Ex: "Would there be anything I did that would make you cut me off?" G: "Probably just flirting with B"). I eventually decided that I couldn't keep it covered any longer and told her while on a call with B. She said that she didn't care, but I could see she did, based on her body language and tone. I tried talking to her about it, but she wouldn't open up and kept saying, "it's fine." Anytime I would talk about B and me over text, she would get really dry and short in her replies. I recently found out she blocked me after trying to call her because I left my Ray-Bans at her house. B and I are still together and are very happy, but I can't help but feel a small knot of guilt in my chest when I think about it, she was a really close friend, and I do miss her. So, AITAH for getting with G's fwb even though I knew she wouldn't be happy about it?

My 10 year old son recently got invited to a sleepover by one of his classmates and he was super excited about it. The problem is i don’t really know the parents at all. i’ve only seen them briefly during school pickup and never actually talked to them properly. because of that, i told my son i wasn’t comfortable letting him stay overnight there. He got really upset and told me all his other friends are allowed to go. now i feel guilty because i know he probably feels left out and embarrassed. At the same time, part of me feels like being careful is just part of being a parent nowadays.

AITA for saying no because i don’t know the parents well enough?