r/blackmidicirclejerk

Jolly, Jolly
▲ 124 r/blackmidicirclejerk+2 crossposts

Jolly, Jolly

I could tell you were jolly

From the moment you walked in

From the way you had your santa hat on

From the way you'd done your beard

From the way you sat down next to me

From the way you ordered your eggnog

From the moment you slid down my chimney

I knew I'd have you with ease

Do you carol here often?

Do you know how this tinsel wraps?

Do you wrap a different gift every night?

Don't tell me that’s your first

You must have heard about me

Everyone knows my gifts

Everyone knows I'm jolly (jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly)

All of Santa’s Elves (jolly, jolly)

All the Reindeer too (jolly, jolly)

'Round the world I'm jolly (jolly, jolly)

Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly

Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly

Jolly, jolly, jolly, jolly

Jolly, jolly

Do you know my gifts? Of course you know my gifts

Everyone does, it's true

It's true, it's true, it's true

That they’re known around here

The reindeer know my gifts

I've given them all before

You are new, I'll give them to you you too

It's time to give in

From the shores of Havana

To Moscow and Tokyo

In French Guyanese, in Cantonese

Everyone knows my gifts

All of Santa’s Elves (jolly, jolly)

All the Reindeer too (jolly, jolly)

Everyone knows I'm jolly (jolly, jolly)

How 'bout we sing some carols? (jolly, jolly)

I'll spin you round and round (jolly, jolly)

On the dance floor, I'm jolly (jolly, jolly)

How 'bout we take this further? (jolly, jolly)

I'll meet you in the chimney (chimney) (jolly, jolly)

I'll bet your presents are jolly too

I want you to slide down my chimney at around 7 p.m.

And I want you to get my present there no later than ten

I want you to be dressed like ms. claus

With too much makeup on, will that be alright?

And I want you to sit down next to me, as if by chance

I want it to seem like we've never met before

How much will that cost?

I want you to look unsure of your gifts

And I want you to look at me as if I'm santa

I want your eyes to say, “Merry Christmas”

And I want your lips to be unimpressed

And I want you to ask the waiter if I really am who I say I am

And I want you to blush

I want you to shoot a smug look at the other elves

To make them jealous I chose you

When I tell you your presents are jolly

I want you to slap me and then kiss me

Make sure everyone's watching, kiss me and then walk away

Walk to the chimney, I'll follow after

Don't worry, we won't do anything

We'll just loiter there 15 minutes or so

Then I'll choose your new lipstick and we'll walk back out

And I want you to tell me I'm a perfect dancer

And I want you to tell me I smell great

I want you to make me look fatter

Could you kneel down the whole time?

How much will that cost?

I want you to put your hand on my present

Will that be alright?

I want you to look at me as if you're frost

How much will that cost?

Thank you so much

We'll meet the same time next year

And the year after that too

And the next year after that

And the next decade, and the next

u/milobanana — 2 days ago