r/brandsafe

Lots of mercury retrograde talk sprinkled throughout this episode. No hate because I love to credit the retrograde for shit going wrong.

*Goes into a long rant about clavicular (ew) says she has been deep diving into his content (yuck) and goes on a therapized buzzword tangent about worrying for his girlfriend's mental health.
Says she would love to interview him ( dear god NO) because she is fascinated by him from a psychological standpoint. ( sorry this portion of the recap is brief but I refuse to give attention to that demonic toxic thing. I wish influencers and the media would just ignore him because he seems to be getting so much coverage and even if it is negative it is helping him stay relevant.)

*Kate Gosselin and credits her for popularizing the Karen haircut (not wrong)
Talks about how horrible the reality TV family grift is. Talks about Collin Gosselin's upcoming book and how she would love to interview him ( I too am interested in reading Collin's book. Jon and Kate plus 8 was a wild era, and that era of reality television exploiting children was insane)

*Talks about the Best/Worst luck thing. Says that fans have called her out for manifesting bad things by always saying she has the Best/Worst luck. Says she is recognizing that she has a tendency to be negative and focus on the negative and recognizes that her health anxiety has been making her neglect her health and wants to change ( This was honestly the most real and positive segment I have seen from Tana in a long time. She seems to be reflecting and taking ownership of her actions and showing a real desire to change and stop victimizing herself. Go Tana, we are rooting for more of this!)

*Talks about crashing the car and taking driving lessons. Admits she was arrogant about not needing to take driving courses because 90 percent of people don't take them and get a license but now she sees she does need them. ( I think her perception is wrong about people not taking driving lessons before getting their license. Most people I know took driver's ed before getting their license but good on her for doing the right thing)

*House talk. Says she wants to move because she has more House than she needs. Says she is getting rid of everything she owns and decluttering (okay girl, I hope you do cut back on your shopping addiction but it's been like one month since your last haul)

******* TMI Tana warning ********
Talks about being obsessed with getting Tbagged by makoa and it's making her forehead break out ( I hate her for making me type that sentence.)

*J/K xana’s back. Says her and Makoa took an edible ( so much for loosely quitting weed. She also has a ceramic xanax bar on her bookshelf proudly displayed behind her during this entire episode because Pill head is her brand identity)

Talks about her pulled muscle hospital stay. (She was all over the place in this
segment so pardon the bouncing around on topics.)

*Says she turned in bed after getting Tbagged (why 😑) and felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and couldn't stand up from the pain. She then goes into an explanation about how she has been working out like crazy ( I'm gonna need proof of this claim)

Tana says she is in her fitness era and is going to run a half-marathon with Trisha in October. ( I got a good laugh after this revelation. Should we start a betting pool about this?)
*Segues into her wisdom tooth for a moment she went to a new doctor about her strange healing from her wisdom tooth ( we almost made it through an episode without having to hear about that damn tooth. Healing takes time girl, give it a rest.)
*back to the pulled muscle. Convinces herself she has appendicitis and goes to the ER. They gave her a bed and immediately offered her morphine and said she turned down the morphine ( Okay, my theory is she did turn down the morphine but asked for Percocet instead. Three weeks ago you committed DV and threatened self-harm because they wouldn't give you opiates)

*The ER doctor who cared for her is apparently very good-looking and is TikTok famous. She said he is going to be interviewed for a future BS episode. ( Love a hot doctor so I will be seated)

*released from the hospital after a bunch of scans and diagnosed with a pulled muscle. She said the pain went away after two days so she is convinced it wasn't a pulled muscle but a GI issue aand she has now diagnosed herself with cyclosporia 🙄 (So much for trying to conquer your health anxiety)

*Buster took a tumble in the pool and she had to take him to the vet to make sure he was okay (glad her sweet boy is ok!!)

*Teases upcoming episodes of BS, says she wants a pet psychic on and is having an upcoming dream mystery guest on.

*Talks about For You Fest and how excited she is to be headlining and that she is putting together a comedy-focused set ( countdown to her medical emergency before the show so she has an excuse for putting together a half assed show)

*Rants about consumption and instant gratification again and how she is getting rid of everything she owns. Briefly touches
on shoegate (it's so hard to hear her talk about this topic when she is the epitome of over consumption.)

*Teases the upcoming debut of BS patreon ( I am not willing to part with my hard earned pennies for a membership but if there is interest in bonkers BS breakdowns of patreon content maybe I will crowd fund for the subscription fee. Although let's see if she can actually get it together to launch)

Hope you all enjoyed this bonkers BS breakdown. Wishing all of you lovely strangers a gorgeous weekend!!

*They start talking about how they actually filmed an episode of BS months ago but it was shit so may be used for Patreon. ( very on brand for BS, wasted time and money filming things only to wait months to edit and or discard because there is no direction to the podcast)

*Tana talks teeth for a bit. Keeps saying she has ‘toilet teeth’ because they are made of porcelain ( such a disturbingly accurate description that should never be made about ones own teeth)

*Tana tangenting about herself to the guest she is supposed to be interviewing (classic Tana) about her sobriety and growth. Trevi seems checked out during most this because it is a very “unsober” rant about sobriety
Says she was very cognizant even during the most excrutating pain that she didn't want to get addict again ( Ok, so she was so present and aware during her absolutely psychotic pill melt down where she threatened self harm and committed domestic violence? That is even scarier)

*Tana says she is the most sober she has ever been. She starts talking about her weed consumption and drops the banger that she “loosely quit weed at coachella” (she really needs rehab because her denial is level 10)

*Tana talks about being prescribed various medications for anxiety including benzodiazpens. Says she understands why people might worry but she has done her due diligence by consulting therapists, psychiatrists etc. (lies, lies, lies. She isn't in therapy. She takes benzos that are not prescribed to her, all concerning addict behavior.)

*Trevi seems uncomfortable. (It is a little disappointing to see Trevi let Tana ramble about being sober when she isn't but I get it. Tana is going to Tana and no friend can get her to see the truth she doesn't want to see.)

More tangenting about how she wants to be a role model and mama bear to the community and wanting to not respond to comments because it is pointless. (So far this entire episode has been Tana responding to comments)

Lot’s of interuppting and me, me, me talk.

Tana starts talking about her FYP (riveting content) and screaming about the snarky comments she sees on other peoples videos using a terrifying voice that Trevi calls her on by saying “Who are you? Alex Jones?” (Trevi is genuinely funny and I am kind of shocked Tana left it in because it is so true and scary)

*Wow, interuppting is crazy!! Trevi tries to pivot and talk about world cup and Tana just cuts her off to continue her creepy AJ voice about people snarking on Tate mccrae at the world cup. Trevi kind of snaps and tells her to let it go and that it is just unhappy people making snark comments and to let it go.

*More Tana talking about herself. Now she is talking about her plans for making her 28 things she has learned at 28 youtube video ( How to conduct an interview and self awareness better not be on that list)

*Trevi comes in with the good advice that she needs to learn to filter herself and not let the little things get to her which sparks another Tangent of how she knows she is a good person, how much work she has done on herself, how great she treats everyone in her life (Tana, you literally assaulted your boyfriend and traumatized your assistant three weeks ago.)

*Mid Tana Tangent about how deep and profound their friendship is Trevi bursts in to tears saying she is going through a really hard time and jokes maybe she just wants Tana to stop talking about herself.

*Trevi is going through her first heartbreak and opens up about how hard it is for her.
Tana just makes it all about herself. Stars talking about her own first heartache, her break up with Brad souza. ( Tana needs to hire an editor! This episode is so painful to watch and could have been good if she wasn't making it all about her)

*Trevi is finally able to speak and has some
Inspiring reflection about relationships and the struggle for Trans people right now. (my heart goes out to Trevi, she is amazing and I like hearing her reflections)

*Obligatory rant about how awful men are but some are good. Trevi made a funny and said not all men are part of the “Dogathon 2000” ( I am all for hating on awful men but Tana has been so awful lately that it seems hypocritical)

*More retrograde talk and Tana attributes crashing her rolls into her gate to the retrograde but says she is going to attend driving school (Now that is some positive news!)

*Trevi says look maxxers on Trans and
Tana says she wants to have clavicular on ( fucking pathetic and gross. I hate that she is clout chasing by bringing up that scourge on society)

**** Bonkers story ahead****

Tana tells a bonkers story about being at Target and getting her cart switched with another shopper. She blamed it on the other woman being crazy but she sounded pretty weird while telling it. Trevi was waiting at her house and said they were all wondering what happened because they were gone for two hours to go to Target. Trevi also calls Tana out for losing her train of thought mid-story lately. This story was kind of all over the place and I don't have the energy to go further in to it's lore. (addict patterns/ behavior)

The first few weeks they were uploading bright and early Saturday morning. Now it is 7 PM EST and no episode 🤨

You see what I did with the title there 🤣 hope you babes enjoy this literary masterpiece I made just for you!

*Tana introduces Paige and they are sitting out on a balcony in Cabo. Same shitty, unprofessional setup with only an hour of sunlight left in the day. Paige starts the episode talking about her yeast infection (😑) ( This episode was filmed 4! months ago. How the fuck can it take 4 months to get the slop of a BS episode done?!?)

*They say that they were originally going to start a podcast together called ‘The pee pee poo poo show’ with a Lisa Frank theme set. Goes on to basically describe the set design idea which sounds like a rip-off of the NLL set. Joke that they would have done three episodes and then gotten bored and abandoned ( thank god they did not try and launch this show)

*Tana says she originally planned to launch BS on April Fools day but didn't because she didn't want people to think BS is a joke (that ship has sailed) Paige says she can imagine Dave Portnoy writing a dissertation about it. Tana talks about Dave calling her a clown and warning people not to work with her. Paige talks about trying to wake Tana up for her appearance on BFF’s and Tana telling her to tell them she had COVID less than an hour before she was supposed to be there. Says that Dave calling her out as an unreliable Bozo was one of the things that motivated her to eventually get “sober” ( I wish more people in Tana's life would call her out because she still has some work to do. BS launched on May 9th FYI so only 5 weeks late which is basically on time in Tana’s world)

*Talking about attachment styles and dating bait and switch. Tana says she lied at the beginning of relationships and lies to Makoa about liking waking up at 7 am
( kind of hilarious to think she was able to fake getting up early in the beginning with Makoa)

*Talk about seeing LeBron James on the tarmac. Talked about seeing Kylie's plane in the hangar previously. ( annoying because she has already told this old ass tea multiple times)

*rant about dating, guacamole,
levels of chill among friends. Tana admits that she has no chill even though she thinks that she is chill and living in LA. Tana talks about missing the grittiness of Hollywood and interacting with mentally ill people.

*The Coke or adderall has really kicked in and they are motor-mouth gassing each other up. They discuss their inner voices, Tana’s Rolls-Royce, scarcity mindset, and giving back.

*They are filming in the dark now as the sun has set. Talk about their friendship origin story and how it's all because they both knew Lana Rhoades. Tana met Lana through Jeff and Mike and Paige had a roommate who worked for Lana. ( How is she so lazy that she can't start the pod at like 3pm. )

*Goes on an unbelievable rant about how going through pain makes you stronger and teaches you lessons that you need to learn ( if only this were actually a truthful statement about Tana’s ability to handle pain and find the lessons in the struggle.)

This was a pretty boring and unnecessary episode. It's such a bad look to release an episode that was filmed so long ago because they have already told most of the stories on other podcast episodes so it just feels like recycled, lazy content.