And forcing myself to sleep the whole day so I can’t think is another level
Should it be the end of everything? I swear I’m hopeless as fuck and can’t handle anything anymore
I’m truly tired
Every day is just a new reminder of how miserable and lonely I am
I don’t have anyone close to me, no one at all
There’s no one I can talk to, share things with, listen to as they talk, and have them tell me about their day and what happened
This isn’t something new. It’s been like this since my childhood, my miserable childhood
And honestly, sometimes it hurts me so much that it brings me to tears
I always used to lie to myself that I liked being alone and that it was my choice because no matter how hard I tried, things just never worked out. But the truth is it has been a part of me for a very long time, and it isn’t a choice
Lately, I’ve been thinking about it much more than usual because this feeling of loneliness is eating me alive, but there’s nothing I can do but live with it
No one could possibly believe how empty I feel inside
Empty, worthless, and disgusting
I realized that I literally don’t want anything
I’ve lost hope and desire for everything
I don’t want anything anymore
I have no reason to live, nor any dreams or goals to pursue
I realized that everything I had been holding onto was just قشور احلام that I didn’t even want in the first place. All I was trying to do was fool myself into striving and carrying on, even though I don’t know why I would even do that
Now I’m just standing still, and I literally don’t want to do anything because why? Just why? No reason